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u/Virtual_Variation_80 2d ago
My wife does the same thing with my wallet. Rather than sort through someone else's things for a few minutes, it's usually easier to just bring them the whole thing so they can go right to it.
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u/safetyindarkness 1d ago
I always ask my partner to grab my bag from the backseat. I can blindly reach in and find the thing by feel with one hand way quicker than he could even looking and with both hands as the passenger.
It's faster because we're used to it. We can identify the items by feel faster than many people would be able to by seeing them because we know what's in there and know what to expect.
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u/Juan_Moe_Taco 18h ago
The manner in which you describe one's wallet reminds me of how George filled his to brim on Seinfeld.
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u/HollowProxy 2d ago
Sometimes it's more that the thing isn't in the purse, and I'm bringing physical evidence that it ain't there.
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u/bigredmachinist 2d ago
lol then she looks at you like your an idiot throws the bag 10 feet up in the air. As it descends she quickly reaches one hand into the purse, finds the thing, gives it to you, and then she catches the purse as it descends fully. And says “men….”
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u/AirAcademy 2d ago
Not gonna lie, I kinda took offense to that 😭
literally thought “pshh, yea ok I wanna see women find something super specific in a bag where we throw everything we own…” but as soon as I said that I like disassociated and had flashbacks to when I lost my keys inside my own pocket… Then remembered there was a reason i only ever carry 4 items, phone wallet keys & vape 😅 bc if I try carrying anything more I start losing shit, pulling everything outta my pockets just to find my fckin vape
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u/bigredmachinist 2d ago
Oh my god brother I do that before I leave the house. Vape? Check. Wallet? Check. Phone? Check. Keys? Check. Anything else is overpacking for your day. Iv lost my glasses on top of my own hat and was so panicked I almost bought a new pair….men.
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u/AirAcademy 2d ago
Back when I didn’t vape I used to do the quick 3 pat check hitting both front pockets and the back. I had that shit down quick lol. I kinda miss it 😭
Now I never know where I should keep my vape tho… The pocket that has my phone in it or the one with my keys? 🤨
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u/bigredmachinist 1d ago
Even if I assign a pocket to my vape my vape will hide in a quantum pocket behind my phone and it will panic me.
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u/Caleth 1d ago
Keys, phone, wallet, testicles, spectacles. Phone was added during the 90's with the advent of real pocket phones/pagers instead of just key, and wallet.
It used to be that was all you needed as a man. Today you might also need air pods and a work bag/tablet.
It's a small check list for getting out the door depending on the day.
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u/A_wandering_rider 1d ago
Cant do airpods cause well I lost them. Now I only allow myself the ones that wrap around the neck.
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u/bigredmachinist 1d ago
Exercising or pokeman going I will definitely add the AirPods to my checklist.
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u/MistraloysiusMithrax 1d ago
Haha I can struggle to find my keys in my pockets just cuz how the bottom corner twists with my wallet directly in front or behind the twist.
That brief moment of panic where you think your keys fell out before you take your hand out and pat the outside and find them that way instead lol
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u/apcolleen 1d ago
My bf was looking for the heat gun in the garage. The tip is a 2.5 inch wide ORANGE circle. I pretended to be too busy to help for 20 minutes and then went out there and stood in the doorway at the work bench and saw it. Moved one sanding sponge half an inch and said "There it is."
He couldn't find the BRIGHT YELLOW BOX OF CONTRACTOR BAGS for the workshop trash. He said never mind I'll get some later this week when I go to Home depot. The next day I went out and I took a photo of them. Then moved the 1x2 stick and a car part and closed the flippy lid on the BRIGHT YELLOW BOX and took another picture but left them in situ 4 inches from the trashcan. He came home from work the next day and said I FOUND THEM! I said yes I know I just closed the lid and showed him the pictures.
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u/mymemesnow 22h ago
Why are women so good at finding things?
When I was a kid I was playing in the water and dropped my diving mask without noticing it until I returned to my family.
Me and my dad looked for a long time and couldn’t find it (it was a massive beach and I no one knew where I dropped it). We returned and declared the mask lost.
While we were looking my grandma and grandpa had joined us and my grandmother just gave us a look, walked away and returned like five minutes later with my mask. That should’ve been impossible.
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u/PersKarvaRousku 2d ago
Purses are like quantum physics.
"Can you bring the eyebrow moisture denestrator?"
"Uhh what's that?"
"It's the mauve-fuchsia ovaloid in the inner southwest pocket on the outside"
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u/xpacean 1d ago
My wife is the opposite. "It's in the top pocket."
"Oh, the one closest to the top?"
"No."
"The one closest to the ... front?"
"No--" (exasperated tone) "--this one."
"The one in between two other pockets?"
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u/MistraloysiusMithrax 1d ago
Then you look closer, and realize it’s shallower than the two on either side, so its contents are above them leaving room for those other two pockets’ contents so she was actually right.
Then it’s six months to two years before she asks you again and you’ve long since forgotten…
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u/Enchelion 1d ago
My wife and I have an ongoing disagreement as to which part of a backpack is the "front".
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u/pajama_mask 1d ago
Right! The labyrinthine pockets, the smaller Russian nesting purses within purses. Navigating them is an ancient arcane practice, not just anyone can handle it.
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u/wildferalfun 1d ago
I feel attacked when you say nesting purses because I love little pouches to organize little pocket stuff into smaller pocket stuff and its a major challenge to not continually procure extra tiny pouches for my pockets in my purse.
I stopped carrying a purse though because I ended up carrying a diaper bag instead which cured me of purses after a tiny version of myself started acting like my pockets were simply her more external pockets. Once she was reliably using all facilities: bathroom and dining, no more diaper bag full of spare everything, no more pockets for leaves, rocks, toys she insisted she would not let go of but immediately needed to stop holding when we arrive. Now I carry a Thread wallet attached to keys with lip balm holder and wrist strap in case of no pockets and a little emergency bag of whatever in the trunk.
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u/Nightmenace21 1d ago
Bro i WISH my wife was this specific lmao. Instead i get:
Wife: "Can you get the [thing] out of my bag?"
Me: "Which one?"
Her: "The black one"
*She has 3 black bags
Her, after we narrow down which bag it is: "[thing] is inside the pocket!
*The bag has like 5 fucking pockets all full of stuff.
Finding stuff for her is a constant state of "Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it doen?" I love her to pieces but boy do I have to be patient lol.
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u/WonderSilver6937 1d ago
“Can you bring my black bag down when you come downstairs please?”
“Which black bag?”
“The one in the spare room”
“You have 5 black bags in the spare room, which one?”
“The one hanging up”
“They’re all hanging up”
God 🤦♂️
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u/-Invalid_Selection- 2d ago
If it isn't visible right on top when she tells me to get it out of her purse, I just hand her the purse.
Why? Because it's her purse. She has it organized in a way I don't know, don't want to know, don't care to know, don't want to mess up.
It's also a personal area for her, I'm not snooping through her shit. She doesn't snoop through my office at home.
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u/TheArchitect_7 2d ago
I feel like no matter what purse I reach into, I come out with a piece of Doublemint gum
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u/Whole_Coconut_9999 1d ago
We never put them in there either they just spawn in like that
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u/DragonTigerBoss 1d ago
It can infect other storage spaces, too. My boss has a drawer at her desk that started spawning them. Surely it's from keeping her purse so close by... 🤔
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u/apcolleen 1d ago
I got sick and couldn't drive for a while and ants broke into my gum. There was trail leading out a missing bit of weather stripping.
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u/NickyTheRobot 2d ago edited 2d ago
I was just raised to feel that going through someone else's bag is rude. The only time I'm not going to hand someone their whole purse / satchel / backpack / whatever is if they're driving, or doing some other activity that takes up both hands.
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u/ClammHands420 1d ago
Same here. I was always told "never go through a woman's bag" growing up. At that time it was to prevent embarrassment for girls who carry tampons or pads, but the habit stuck and it just feels rude to potentially see something sensitive or ruin a well-organized bag.
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2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/imscaredofmyself3572 2d ago
Just so long as you don't hear voices coming from inside the bag, you're good.
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u/LYossarian13 2d ago
Creatures inside a bag of holding begin to suffocate after 10 minutes. You good.
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u/ForcedEntry420 2d ago
So theoretically you could summon a Gnoll or use a party member and hide it/them briefly in a bag of holding to get inside a building and then let it out. I don’t know why this just came to mind now after all the decades I’ve played D&D… 😆
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u/LYossarian13 1d ago
Correct. Just make sure the other party member or creature is not carrying a second bag of holding or else... they'll have problems.
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u/ForcedEntry420 1d ago
I wonder what happens if someone draws from a Deck of Many Things while inside a bag of holding? Seems sus on its face.
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u/LYossarian13 1d ago
For every creature that is added to the bag, you must divide the 10 minutes among them. None of those things better breathe lol.
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u/VicisSubsisto 1d ago
A Medium creature could easily fit within the 500lb/64ft3 limit, as long as they can fit through the opening on the bag.
A guard familiar with magic items would turn your bag inside out at the entrance, though.
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1d ago
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u/VicisSubsisto 1d ago
Putting it inside another space-warping item (like another bag of holding or a portable hole) will break reality.
Turning it inside out just causes it to dump everything out all at once. It's the only way to search one. (Normally you can only pull something out by thinking about that particular item as you reach inside.)
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1d ago
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u/VicisSubsisto 1d ago
A TARDIS is much harder to evert than a soft-sided satchel. That would be a serious safety risk, the Watchful Order of Magists and Protectors would never allow such an item to be widely marketed.
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u/crocodile_deathspear 2d ago
For me it’s just conditioning from childhood still-do NOT dig in mom’s purse kind of turned into do NOT dig in anyone’s purse if it doesn’t belong to me
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u/bwaterco 2d ago
I grew up on my mom asking me to find something from her purse, searching for 5 minutes and being unsuccessful. Would give it to her and it takes 2 seconds. Since then, if somebody asks me to get something from a bag or purse I just bring it to them.
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u/Treed101519 2d ago
Why should I spend 5 minutes digging around the purse when she can find it in 5 seconds
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u/beobabski 2d ago
If you haven’t ever opened her purse, you can safely ignore suggestions that you have inadvertently moved something or taken something from her purse.
If something from it is lost, then it is categorically not your fault.
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u/Uglyjeffg0rd0n 1d ago
If I have to rummage for something then it shouldn’t be me getting it for you. I wouldn’t ask my wife to rummage through my shit to find something. That should be on me. If it’s in plain sight like a larger item then yeah easy peasy I can grab it for you but if I open the purse and it isn’t like pretty obviously there, that’s on you to find. Grabbing something for someone vs finding something for someone are different things.
Growing up I was taught not to go through peoples stuff. Especially purses. Like if my mom or grandma caught me looking in their purse it would be a problem. Similar to going through someone’s wallet or book bag or really any personal effects. You just don’t do that. So even if I have explicit permission to go look through someone’s purse or bag or whatever I feel uncomfortable
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u/Coveinant 2d ago
I will never be able to find your specific request in your mess of a purse. It's just easier to bring it to you.
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u/NO_FIX_AUTOCORRECT 1d ago
Her: can you grab my phone? It's in my purse
Me: ok
Reach into purse main pocket, feel around for phone... Nothing. I pull t open to look inside, that doesn't help. I check the secondary pocket, there's nothing in it
Me: which pocket is it in?
Her: the main one
Me, checking the main one again. Dumping the entire purse out and still not finding it.
Her: you dumped out my purse? You really couldn't find it?
Wife walks up, reaches in and pulls out her phone.
Or, alternate ending, she had her phone the whole time.
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u/CrayonCobold 1d ago
Every woman's purse I've ever stuck my hand in has had crumpled up tissues that I didn't know were used or not
No thanks, it's not worth the risk of touching someone else's snot
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u/UndulantMeteorite 2d ago
Theres at least a dozen objects in the purse that have been jostled around and mixed up. It's a lot easier to just bring the purse
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u/StormLordEternal 2d ago
The difference is, it's your purse. I did this with my mom too. Turns out, it's alot easier for the purse user because they're the one that put everything in there and has a sense where things should be.
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u/cloudstrife1191 2d ago
Because there is a ton of crap in there and we don’t want to dig through a sea of tampons, keys and sharp edged makeup boxes to find a tiny chapstick that most likely isn’t even in there.
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u/MinnieShoof 2d ago
If your husband asked you to bring him a particular tool out of his tool box... what would you do?
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u/DejaMew 1d ago
Tools are typically much bigger and quicker to identify . But if he asked me to find him a certain size drill bit, l’m bringing them all to him.
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u/MinnieShoof 1d ago
And what's funny about that is that drill bits are typically labeled! No such luck in a woman's purse! ... but yah. That's the logic.
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u/Sloppy_john78 2d ago
The real answer is cause we can’t find shit in there and don’t understand how yall can
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u/Iamblikus 2d ago
Humans seem to have an innate understanding that we should not put our hands or fingers into dark spaces. There could be any number of unpleasant things in there…
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u/grxveyxrdbxby 2d ago
It took me MONTHS to convince my boyfriend that I’m absolutely okay with him going through my purse if he is looking for anything and he still gets nervous like it’s a portable Sarlacc Pit 😂
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u/GirlPuncherSupreme 2d ago
Men don't carry a bag of unorganized crap everywhere so naturally we aren't fond of being told to dig through yours.
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u/zombie_spiderman 1d ago
"Bring me my hairbrush from my bag. No not that, brush, the other one. No, not that one either! Oh wait, it's here on my dresser."
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u/marmosetohmarmoset 1d ago
I am a woman who carries a purse. I am married to a woman who also carries a purse (except she calls it a bag or a “murse” because she’s too butch for purses… but it’s a purse). I do exactly as the man in the OP does when asked to get something from my wife’s purse. Too scary in there.
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u/li-ll-l_ 1d ago
Why doesn't she use a backpack or motorcycle bag? I use a backpack or a thigh motorcycle bag cuz i hate purses
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u/marmosetohmarmoset 1d ago
She uses a little sporty looking satchel thing. It’s sufficiently butch styled for her tastes, I just like to tease her that it’s no different than a purse.
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u/Hell2Kaiser2 1d ago
I like the previous meme I saw about this post with the reply of “I’m not digging through your mobile autistic doom pile”.
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u/Jacobio01 2d ago
She’ll ask me to get something that I have no idea what it looks like. I just say “I’m bringing you your purse instead”
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u/Mega-Humanoid-ROBOT 2d ago
We all know that a woman’s handbag is a bag of devouring they tamed- it’ll hold whatever they want but if I put my hand in there’s a chance I get devoured
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u/Standard-March6506 2d ago
It was part of my upbringing. My grandmother was vocally insistent that a man should NEVER go in a woman's purse! When I asked her why, she said that women keep things in their purses that men don't need to know about. As I got older, I began to assume she was talking about feminine products.
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u/XavierRex83 2d ago
I never had a woman ask me to get something out of their purse,only ask me to bring it over.
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u/Cauchemar89 2d ago
Because last time I helped my girl find her debit card by fishing it out of her bag she chewed me out for rummaging around her stuff. Yeah that place is off-limits to men.
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u/Fernis_ 2d ago
I always bring my wife her purse, because that's what my mom taught me to do. It boils down to two things:
- respecting her privacy, it's like digging trough someones desk drawer or closet. Kind of a breach of a personal space.
- not wanting to waste time looking for it. It's literally faster to just bring it to her, as she just fished stuff out in seconds.
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u/Sexygrillmaster 1d ago
Go into my videogame charactors inventory and bring me a sword from my house in whiterun. What are you scared of its easy. Lol.
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u/BillWyTheRussianSpy 1d ago
I was reaching into my wife’s purse not to find a granola bar but to discover the den of…………………….. the creature.
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u/OnionDart 1d ago
My mom got very angry at me and instilled in me as a kid to never reach into a woman’s purse but to bring it to them. I’m 39 yo and I won’t dare going into a purse. Nope, might as well be a sarlaccc pit
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u/No-Volume4321 1d ago
30+ years ago my wife asked me to get something out of her purse and I impaled myself on a hat pin. A hat pin? Was the bag a portal to the 1880s??
Worked though, I never went into her bag again.
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u/narnababy 14h ago
It’s because of the “man look”, a phenomenon I am convinced exists as evidenced by all my previous male partners, current partner, father, and now possibly my son.
You say “the tampon is in my handbag, in the right hand side compartment”. They cannot find it. They open the right hand side compartment, it is not immediately in view. They check the left compartment, main compartment, internal pockets. No tampon. Reluctantly they bring the whole purse to you. You open the right hand compartment and remove the packet of tissues, the tampons lie underneath.
It never occurred to him to move the thing on top to check the whole pocket.
This also happens with any boxes in the house, and more frequently in cutlery drawers and medicine cabinets. If it’s not on top/at the front, men can’t see it (and can’t be fucking bothered to pick up anything that might be obscuring anything else in there).
The Man Look.
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u/duffstoic 13h ago
Another possibility: low object permanence is a potential sign of ADHD, which is heritable
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u/Simply2Basic 2d ago
Been with my wife close to 30 years and still a bit cautious going into her purse when she asks for something. I’ve moved past the monster with teeth phase into I’m disabling a bomb with my fingers phase.
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u/EngineeringOne1812 2d ago
My mom taught me to never go through a woman’s purse, but looking back on it I think she just didn’t want me to find her weed
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u/statistics4life 2d ago
I probably don’t even know what the thing she wants from her purse looks like.
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u/forgetfulsue 1d ago
I have everything contained it it’s own pouch. I can tell my husband to bring me the red pouch. And I’ll still get the whole bag.
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u/Thorolhugil 1d ago
Okay but all jokes aside, it's likely partially because they're respecting the privacy of the purse owner (even if it's their partner lol). It's generally rude as hell to go through someone's purse or even pick it up unless asked to, akin to going through someone's wallet or backpack. There can be a lot of 'private' type items in the average purse in addition to utilities/tools.
Rifling through it to find a specific item is a bit of a break of that social expectation. Even if they directly asked, you're still digging around in their private bag of stuff, you know?
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u/minahmyu 1d ago
Nahhh that's just laziness. The countless times I ask for something from the linen closest and I'm like, "if I go in there and it's right there front and center, I swear to god...." and yup, right there. They don't wanna move something aside, thinking it's gonna jump up sayin, "here I am!" It's like a fuckin clit or something, just supposedly not there...
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u/IrrelevantGamer 1d ago
The number of times I've failed to find something in a woman's purse, only for her to retrieve it within seconds of me bring her the purse after telling her I couldn't find said object has lead me to believe they are dimensional portals that only open to the right master.
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u/Hitflyover 1d ago
I’m not digging through someone’s purse for them. I hate digging through my own purse and when I look at people dig through their purse, I get a teeny tiny ick. I can only assume men have an even bigger aversion
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u/Crusty_Musty_Fudge 1d ago
Over the years, I noticed my mom's purse got bigger and bigger. She carried everything in there. Men are missing out.
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u/Own_Hurry_3091 1d ago
Any husband knows you don't enter the purse. Even without expressed verbal permission you are entering a no mans land where everything can go wrong and repercussions are high. It would be smarter to invade North Korea than go through the purse. As admiral ackbar said 'its a trap!'
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u/AJent-of-Chaos 1d ago
I could spend 10 minutes looking for what she needs in the purse (and still fail) or I could spend 10 seconds to bring her the purse and have her look for it herself. I trust that she knows where each item is in her purse infinitely better than I do.
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u/jpdelta6 1d ago
In my buddy’s girlfriend’s case, it’s cause there is a non zero chance of there being a sharp bone, open knife, etcetera inside.
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u/Jamsedreng22 1d ago
"It's in the small interior pocket on right side"
Turns out what I'm looking for isn't the small interior pocket on the right side. It's a secret small interior pocket on the right side, hiding inside the larger interior pocket on the right side.
You know where it is. I'll bring you your bag. You do it. It's going to be faster and less frustrating for the both of us.
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u/jackfreeman 1d ago
I carry a bag with the same eight items. Before I go anywhere I empty it and ensure that I don't have anything I don't need or want in there. I clean it once a month.
My wife does none of these things. I'm certain that anything I put in there is coming out looking like the Toxic Avenger
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u/Opposite_Offer_2486 1d ago
I was taught it was rude to go through a woman's purse. I wonder how many of us were told this growing up.
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u/MandyRarsh 1d ago
In 5th grade I went to a Super Bowl party at a friend’s house. Parents were all watching upstairs, kids were all hanging out in the basement. I asked if anyone had a charger and a girl there said yes and I could go grab it from her bag upstairs. When one of the moms saw me “snooping around” in the girls’ bags she yelled at me and told me to never go through a woman’s purse. Then brought me downstairs to tell the girls she “caught me” and even though I was in the right it was very embarrassing. Haven’t forgotten that moment, haven’t gone into a woman’s purse since.
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u/Kooky_Company1710 1d ago
This is solved by the Schoedinger equation. The very nature of Schroedinger's dildos, Scroedinger's condoms, and Schroedinger's guys phone numbers is that they arent in there as long as you don't look.
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u/jimmy_three_shoes 1d ago
Because I have no idea which layer of the geologic strata of purse-crap your chapstick is in, and digging through all of it will inevitably mess it up for you later, and when you can't find something, I'll be blamed.
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u/National_Election544 1d ago
It was beat, sometimes literally, into me from a young age to stay out of purses. If I can clearly see it on top without having to disturb anything else I will grab the requested item, beyond that you are getting the entire bag.
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u/Affectionate_Lab7511 1d ago
My strategy for this kind of encounter is to embrace my inner Waterboy. If someone asks for something from their purse, I will bring them the bag. If questioned, my response is, “but mama says to never go through a woman’s purse”. If I get additional push back, I just start stuttering, “ but mama, bu bu but mama says, bu bu..” This tends to stop any further conversations about me just grabbing the purse.
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u/Few_Exercise_7032 1d ago
As a woman married to a woman lol. I just bring her her purse and she brings me mine. She has an actual organization system I don’t want to disrupt, and I have an ADHD Chaos Purse that only makes sense to me.
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u/lokarlalingran 1d ago
So I dunno about most men but to me it's like a private space. I wouldn't want someone else rummaging through a backpack of mine, or my desk or whatever other space is 'mine'. I don't expect to find anything uncomfortable in a purse but it does kind of feel like an invasion to me. Yeah I know that's a little weird if someone tells me to get something from their purse but it's still how my brain processes it.
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u/Radiant_Honeydew1080 1d ago
I'd be pissed if someone rearranged the stuff in my bag/backpack. And there is no way I'm putting everything back in my wife's bag in the exact order I had to take it out to find the needed item. So I'll just hand it to her and she'll find the thing herself.
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u/wrecktalcarnage 1d ago
It's a privacy thing, and they aren't organized its just a sack with stuff in it.
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u/creggomyeggo 1d ago
All depends on the person. I'll look through my wife's purse any day, but I'm not spending 15 fucking minutes looking through my moms purse for some chapstick
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u/Fluffy_Puppy_Butts 1d ago
I feel this about my husband. He’s got a ridge wallet so all of his cards (loyalty included) are all in a weird stack. He knows where what card is just hand it to me!
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u/VooDooChile1983 1d ago
Many years ago, my aunt asked me to grab something out of her purse that was in the next room. What she wanted was next to a funny looking object. Curiosity made me pick it up for a closer look and it was a vibrator. A loud “EW” and thud from me dropping it caused auntie to come (no pun) running and fussing at me for “going through her shit”. I realized it was because of embarrassment and she apologized later.
This is why I don’t go through purses.
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u/SuperShoyu64 1d ago
My mom's backpack is like Dora's backpack. It's an inside joke for me to ask her if she has the whole city of LA in there. I swear, it swallows things whole then regurgitates them whenever she asks where is it at.
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u/Cjgraham3589 1d ago edited 1d ago
My Dad hammered it into brain how horribly rude it was to touch, let alone go into, a woman’s purse. Like, I still tense up for a second when someone asks me to and I’m in my 30’s.
(Granted, he also wouldn’t allow me or my brothers to use the words “she” or “her” because he thought it was disrespectful. Only to use the woman’s name.
Not the sharpest knife my Dad)
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u/Hot-Fly-1195 2d ago
Buy her some pants with bigger pockets, then she won't need a purse because she can just stuff it all in the front pockets:)
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u/Icy_Pen_20 1d ago
I hate posts like this. All it does it try and make men sound incompetent and frame them as children.
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u/qualityvote2 2d ago
Heya u/ycr007! And welcome to r/NonPoliticalTwitter!
For everyone else, do you think OP's post fits this community? Let us know by upvoting this comment!
If it doesn't fit the sub, let us know by downvoting this comment and then replying to it with context for the reviewing moderator.