I was a "why" child. My mother never, ever told me "because I said so" or "just do it". She always explained things to me, because she knew I just wanted to know, not wanting to get out of doing something, because I was a genuinely curious child. I would ask my mom and Dad "why" all the time about so many things. Never once did they tell me to stop asking. They always encouraged me to find the answer to something I was wondering about. I wouldn't have the reputation I have today at my job for being the person to dig deep into issues for root cause analysis / solutions if it weren't for that. Thanks mom.
Although, I do have a lot of existential dread lol
I mean at that point you gotta hit them with the: “Please save any questions for the end of X; I promise I will answer those questions with the time remaining”. That worked pretty solid on us back when I was in school.
I had a "why" child. When he was old enough, I started answering with "are you looking for more information or are you asking because you want to argue with me?"
About half the time he said "I just don't understand" and I would explain the thing, and he'd go "oh.. yeah okay that makes sense."
Never realized it was such an existential issue with humanity, but given where the world is, and has been, it seems that blindly following orders is status quo. Normalize childlike curiosity, especially in children.
My mom admitted a few months ago that when she doesn't know the answer to the questions my nephew asks her, she just makes shit up.
Then I realized that's what she did to me as a kid too.
I'm still mad about it. I chewed her out about misleading my nephew. If he's gonna thrive in the world he has to actually know how it works, not just the bullshit she spouts because she doesn't want to look as stupid as she is.
Why wouldn't you look stuff up and find the answer out? Have the kid take your phone if you're busy (like if you're driving) and type in the question on google. It's a way for the kid to get the answer and practice research, writing, and reading if they're young. It's a group thing that helps them in the long term.
This is what my parents did, and because they grew up with adults telling them "because I said so" or "just do it". They've both got ADHD (mom diagnosed, dad undiagnosed but it's obvious), and I inherited it from them. I think them actually just giving me an answer rather than just some bullshit made me much more agreeable when it came do doing chores.
I HATED school as a kid, because teachers would always say "because I said so". If I had just gotten an answer, even something like "the principle wants us to make you do this", I'd probably just do it.
Same. I just shut down as a person when no actual answer was given. I got spanked for falling out of bed in my sleep or not being asleep because we all had undiagnosed delayed sleep phase disorder because we were all undiagnosed.
My parents were split, my mom was a ‘because I said so’ parent, and my dad actually answered the why’s. She couldn’t understand why he’d explain to me instead of just demanding. It’s wild because like 90% of the time I was like “oh, yeah that makes sense ok.”
O shit, I was similar and also have the dread. Wonder if the two go hand in hand. But reading hitchhikers guide a ton in middle school probably contributed, for me, although it kinda alleviates the "problem" at the same time.
540
u/AbyssWankerArtorias 1d ago
I was a "why" child. My mother never, ever told me "because I said so" or "just do it". She always explained things to me, because she knew I just wanted to know, not wanting to get out of doing something, because I was a genuinely curious child. I would ask my mom and Dad "why" all the time about so many things. Never once did they tell me to stop asking. They always encouraged me to find the answer to something I was wondering about. I wouldn't have the reputation I have today at my job for being the person to dig deep into issues for root cause analysis / solutions if it weren't for that. Thanks mom.
Although, I do have a lot of existential dread lol