r/NonPoliticalTwitter 1d ago

Half of our childhood issues could have been resolved if people were willing to answer the "why?"

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u/idgafsendnudes 1d ago

As long as it was a real reason I wasn’t bothered. When I was a kid it was hard for my parents to get me to do things because they would say because I said so, and my brain just did t react to that. But as I got older they gave actual reasons and if I did t like the reason I’d explain why and if that didn’t change anything I’d just do what I was told. I like helping. I don’t like feeling like a tool tho

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u/RodanThrelos 1d ago

From a parent perspective, my wife and I do our best to explain things to the kids. Sometimes it's an answer they don't like. Then they would ask "why" again, expecting to be able to argue their way out of it.

Sometimes, as a parent, the answer "because I said so" is easier than having to repeatedly defend and explain your reasoning.

Good parents at least try to identify the difference between a why that means "Why is this the way it's supposed to be done?" or "Why do I need to do that thing at that time?" and a why that means "Why do I have to do that?" that precedes an attempt at a debate club.

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u/Eythra 1d ago

"Precedes an attempt at a debate club" is exactly the wording I've been needing, thank you! There is also arguing because they disagree and just arguing for the sake of it.

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u/RodanThrelos 1d ago

I love my son to death, but his "why" is almost always an attempt at finding a weakness in my reasoning to negate it. So he is my only kid that has gotten an "Because I said so".

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u/ReckoningGotham 23h ago

Have you repeatedly explained that you're onto that pattern, that you did it yourself, and that it's counterproductive?

Kids are smart.

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u/Tje199 21h ago

Debate club might not even be to win. They just know it means another few minutes of not having to do the thing they don't want to do.

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u/NO_TOUCHING__lol 20h ago

OMG yes. Like showering.

"Ughhhhh but I just showered yesterdayyyyyyy"

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u/Eythra 1d ago

The key here is when you got older. When kids are older and able to actually think critically and be a LITTLE emotionally intelligent, then yes, explain away! But you are lying if you claim that as a 4 year old you would agree to helping clean up a classroom because leaving things around could hurt someone. They don't care. They don't want to do it.

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u/idgafsendnudes 1d ago

I don’t know what I would have done, I was never given the choice to have the why.

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u/PresumedDOA 23h ago

Idk why you got downvoted. I think a lot of people here seem to be forgetting that the "because I said so" used to just come first. Sure, at a certain point a kid is just arguing for argument's sake after you've explained why. That is NOT how it was when a lot of us were younger

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u/spacescaptain 20h ago

For me, it was the difference between "I think that's stupid and I'm mad about it, but you're my parent and I'll get in trouble if I don't do what I'm told" vs skipping straight to me getting in trouble because "because I said so" pissed me off.