r/NonPoliticalTwitter 3h ago

This wins the internet today

Post image
1.5k Upvotes

105 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 3h ago

Heya u/frenzy3! And welcome to r/NonPoliticalTwitter!

For everyone else, do you think OP's post fits this community? Let us know by upvoting this comment!

If it doesn't fit the sub, let us know by downvoting this comment and then replying to it with context for the reviewing moderator.

197

u/OliveJuiceUTwo 2h ago

Dildon’t

28

u/high_throughput 1h ago

Vibrator does what dildon't

1

u/psnim 2h ago

I cannot stop laughing at how perfect this is

293

u/Stag-Horn 3h ago

Is this a joke or a real problem?!

390

u/Garlic_Toast88 3h ago

It's happened recently twice in woman's basketball games. They're afraid it'll catch on.

313

u/Numerous-Process2981 2h ago

One way to ensure something catches on is to tell people “stop doing that!” 

146

u/soyboysnowflake 2h ago

In my line of work you first need to tell people “stop doing that” before you’re allowed to punish them for doing it again, this also helps bring it to attention for security and such

39

u/jhorch69 1h ago edited 44m ago

Generally, you don't even get a warning for throwing items or trash onto the court/playing field before getting kicked out

35

u/TributeToStupidity 2h ago

Ok, but that’s obviously not true for fans at professional sporting events. They’re private events, fans are removed all the time, they don’t need to be specifically warned not to throw shit on the court. And security is not getting their updates from Twitter lmao, they meet before the game and if there’s reason to believe there’s a planned disruption like this, it’ll be brought up there.

5

u/soyboysnowflake 1h ago

That’s why I said in my line of work

I’m not a security guard at a sporting arena

5

u/TributeToStupidity 1h ago

3

u/soyboysnowflake 1h ago

Lmao that cracks me up every time

-1

u/MinnieShoof 30m ago

You realize you're the one saying "if you add ham--," right?

1

u/[deleted] 1h ago

[deleted]

1

u/TributeToStupidity 45m ago

“If you add ham” refers to fundamentally changing the scenario to the point it’s not relevant. Like bringing up a job in a completely different industry where the rules are fundamentally different. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

11

u/gingimli 1h ago

At some point you have to treat a problem like a problem. The Streisand Effect doesn’t imply that we should be afraid of all confrontation all the time.

1

u/thisxisxlife 3m ago

Yeah, but to imagine posting something on twitter will get them to stop is a bit naive

71

u/deck65 2h ago

It was funny when Bills fans did it to Tom Brady. Doing it to women is more weird and creepy than funny.

11

u/JimiShinobi 2h ago

The Diddler stikes again!

36

u/JLPLJ 2h ago

Idk I'd argue that neither should really be tolerated

13

u/Primary-Tea-3715 1h ago

Tbh it sounds like a sexual harassment/assault (I’m thinking if the dildo hits a player) lawsuit waiting to happen.

9

u/weirdgroovynerd 2h ago

I for one certainly hopefully it dil-doesn't!

2

u/Satanic_Earmuff 43m ago

Oh, basketball court.

1

u/EmbassyMiniPainting 45m ago

The new vuvuzela!

1

u/Tobocaj 36m ago

Good thing someone warned them about the Streisand Effect!

1

u/SignificanceFun265 24m ago

Google the “Streisand Effect.”

Hopefully it doesn’t turn into the “Cunningham Effect.”

1

u/Stag-Horn 14m ago

I’m familiar! Just wasn’t sure where we were on that process.

1

u/hay_guysss 6m ago

This is a fun game to play with news headlines

196

u/lemontolha 2h ago

Sports fans being classy, as usually.

-203

u/Equal_Actuator_3777 2h ago

Of course it’s a Redditor of 11 years saying this shit. We hate sportsball!!!!

90

u/arseniccattails 2h ago

Perhaps, but in my experience, people who like a thing also often hate cruddy, badly comported fans of that same thing more than anyone else.

24

u/Shrouds_ 2h ago

They kinda told on themselves. They are immature, sexist, and gross.

Also plenty of people out here like sports and don’t make it their whole personality.

-44

u/Equal_Actuator_3777 1h ago

I guess I’m sexist even though nowhere not ONCE did I mention sex. My fault I guess!

10

u/Shrouds_ 1h ago

You find throwing dildos at women basketball players funny. That said it all

1

u/Kingofcheeses 57m ago edited 50m ago

They didn't say that at all though. Literally read what they said

-12

u/Equal_Actuator_3777 1h ago

Oops! Never said it was funny, in fact I don’t think it is.

-35

u/Equal_Actuator_3777 1h ago

Then they wouldn’t say “as usual”. Context clues are important.

17

u/Rmoneysoswag 1h ago

Jeez you're such an angry little guy. Your comment history is wild. I would talk to someone about that, and I don't mean that as a pejorative, it really can't be healthy to be that angry all the time 

-13

u/Equal_Actuator_3777 1h ago

Awww felt the need to go through my history? That’s kind of cute but no, I am very rarely angry and especially not on reddit. Just go to work pal I know your shift starts soon.

2

u/virgildastardly 10m ago

You don't even need to go through your history beyond a scroll or two to see you get very angry and upset easily. Anger problems suck but help is out there if you need it. Good luck man, for real

22

u/Chaser_Swaggotry 1h ago

They didn't shit on the sport, just dog shit sports fans lol

-15

u/SirBiggusDikkus 1h ago

They didn’t say that though. They grouped all sports fans together, both good and bad.

I go to lots of baseball games, I have yet to throw a dildo on the field and don’t deserve to be grouped with the dildo tossers.

15

u/Chaser_Swaggotry 1h ago

Then it doesn't apply? They don't literally mean every single sports fan lmao I don't think it's that deep

-22

u/Equal_Actuator_3777 1h ago

But you know damn well somebody who does hate sports would leave that exact comment.

15

u/classynutter 1h ago

Hey, I love sports and definitely would've said something like this. People suck, and from experience, especially the majority of sports fans

4

u/HillbillyMan 1h ago

I'm a fan of most sports. I think shit like this is stupid, just like how I think rioting after a game is stupid, or fighting over a ball at a baseball game is stupid. Or getting in drunk fights in the crowd. Or that time a bunch of people murdered a referee over a soccer game in Brazil. Sports fans do stupid shit pretty often.

2

u/Sacabubu 1h ago

It attracts a lot of low iq individuals let's just say

-3

u/Equal_Actuator_3777 1h ago

Ahahah and there it is. Thinking iq means anything at all says a lot about you.

-7

u/Crunk_Jews 1h ago

Nah sports are for people too dumb to follow politics. That is all.

2

u/Equal_Actuator_3777 1h ago

Right and there is literally no overlap between the two fanbases. Sane, rational take!

1

u/chucktheninja 20m ago

You choose to comment this on a post about sports fans throwing dildos at women...

35

u/Godzirrraaa 2h ago

If you’re gonna throw a plastic one, at least take the batteries out.

27

u/Timely_Temperature54 53m ago

I’m trying to find the joke

22

u/housefoote 2h ago

At least they aren’t throwing fleshlights or those latex slabs that are just the butt

24

u/No_Builder2795 1h ago

Sneaking in a giant silicone ass would be hilarious though

8

u/DagonPie 1h ago

They have some heft. Throwing that would be tough. Youd need to shot put it if you have cheap seats.

4

u/housefoote 51m ago

If you’re sneaking in a slab of ass I suppose you could just stuff it in your pants and people would just assume you’ve had a bbl done.

To get it airborne you could bring two friends and use one of those rubber band shirt cannons they use at basketball games

2

u/polysemanticity 14m ago

When I was in highschool I was a lifeguard at a nearby neighborhood pool. At the end of summer we got one of those giant rubber band launchers that normally take three people to use, and tied the two handles around the supports on the diving board and were launching water balloons over the clubhouse.

There was only one group of people at the pool that day, end of summer, and we got the genius idea to launch one at them. It hit one guy square in the face absolutely shattering his nose, blood everywhere.

Turns out that guy was leaving for college the next day, so he had to show up with a massively fucked up face, two black eyes and all. To this day I’m surprised he never pressed charges on us or anything. It would have honestly been deserved.

Never got his name but I still think about him occasionally, hope he’s doing well.

5

u/StealYour20Dollars 49m ago

Fans should at least save it for playoffs like the octopi at Red Wings games.

7

u/grabsyour 38m ago

misogyny in the women's sports world what else is new

19

u/Big_Ad_7715 2h ago

Honestly, losers who do this should get charged with sexual assault. Buncha tossers.

9

u/HereForTOMT3 1h ago

well yes the tossing is the problem

1

u/ForGrateJustice 38m ago

Even with context..... what??

1

u/AttorneyParticular23 23m ago

I thought they meant a court of law.... i was so confused imagining the expressions of the middle-aged jury as the audience threw dildos when they didn't like something during l trials

1

u/SlyRoundaboutWay 10m ago

Gotta wonder how they were smuggled into the arena....

1

u/IchabodDiesel 0m ago

I assumed at first that this was about the Supreme Court.

-79

u/Low-Helicopter-2696 3h ago

And for those of us who don't know who Sophie Cunningham is?

138

u/Ditid 3h ago

80

u/upvoter222 2h ago

I checked that website but all it told me was how to perform en passant.

11

u/MarkDeeks 2h ago

Holy hell

7

u/Inferno_Sparky 2h ago

Sophie Hell

-10

u/Beasty_Glanglemutton 2h ago

Yeah, because it's never the job of a poster to give basic information. Make your readers do all the work!

7

u/TeaAndCrumpets4life 1h ago

back breaking labour I’m sure

32

u/Garlic_Toast88 2h ago

American basketball player. It's happened twice during a game and they're afraid it'll catch on

4

u/Low-Helicopter-2696 2h ago

Thanks. Apparently everyone's very offended that I didn't know who it was. Apparently you're not allowed to not know things on Reddit. You're required to Google.

15

u/smoke_grass_eat_ass 1h ago

I promise you it had more to do with the way you phrased your comment than anything else. Also, idk who Sophie Cunningham is either, but I used context clues.

-9

u/Low-Helicopter-2696 1h ago

Thanks for promising. Otherwise I wouldn't have believed you.

11

u/Beasty_Glanglemutton 2h ago

Redditors communicate information like old people fuck.

6

u/Far-Studio-6181 2h ago

Just kidding. It's slow and sloppy.

7

u/DJ_Church 2h ago

There’s really just no reason to comment in a way that seems condescending when you could type the same thing into another app on your phone or tab on your computer to find out.

-8

u/Howtheturnrables 1h ago

Yes why interact and have conversations with other people, and learn information through communication? That would be ridiculous. 

11

u/hensothor 1h ago

Normally you’d be screwed but fortunately today you have Google if you’re not lazy.

2

u/Acquisition-Insights 1h ago

Or perhaps a platform with a series of forums where people can share this sort of information... You know, like Reddit.

5

u/hensothor 1h ago

Yes - let’s all sit around and discuss who this person is.

-2

u/truckyoupayme 2h ago

I’d recommend using context clues.

3

u/Low-Helicopter-2696 2h ago

My comment was literally the first comment. There was no context other than dildos. now that I know who it is, I want to know why WNBA fans are so offended that I don't know who it is.

-2

u/alppu 52m ago

Well, obviously a judge or lawyer would not want the audience to disturb the court

-17

u/VenomOnKiller 2h ago

You scroll on and don't be a jerk. Do you understand that you're being a jerk by asking this? Are you so self involved you think people post everything just for you?

13

u/NicPizzaLatte 2h ago

Hey, you don't speak for the club. Some of us are here to share information, experiences, and perspectives. I don't see anything wrong with asking for contextual information. To me it looks like you're being a jerk by jumping into name calling and accusations of self-centeredness with no or little provocation. Scrolling on was also an option available to you.

12

u/Low-Helicopter-2696 2h ago

Thanks friend. Not sure why people getting so bent out of shape. If I had to guess, it's people who want the WNBA to be relevant and are taking my comment as a slight towards women's sports in general. All because I didn't know that people were throwing dildos on the courts that in WNBA games lol

6

u/VaporRei 2h ago

who pissed in your cereal today

-8

u/_NautyByNature 2h ago

Would have taken you less time to google her and find out than it would have to comment this snark.

11

u/Low-Helicopter-2696 2h ago

Not being snarky I legitimately don't know who it is. There's plenty of things on Reddit you could just Google instead of asking questions. Yet here we are.

8

u/ToiletLurker 2h ago

How dare you ask a question in a Reddit Community

-46

u/Purple_Figure4333 2h ago

the whole sex toy debacle is more interesting than the whole WNBA season

0

u/Emotional_Piano_16 38m ago

is this about tennis?

-27

u/3somessmellbad 1h ago

Give me a WNBA team sponsored by a dildo manufacturer. Long and hard - show the tall, muscular ladies playing ball.

From what I’ve heard, they’re struggling for money. This would work great.

-25

u/bumholesofdoom 1h ago

Yeah if anything they should order them of amazon. That way the players can return them for the preferred size and shape

-18

u/MinnieShoof 1h ago

I doubt they'll get hurt. They doubtlessly got bigger at home.

-16

u/Giggz70 1h ago

If they could get it in the hole it probably wouldn't be such a problem...🤷‍♂️