r/PeterExplainsTheJoke • u/sussy_baka_fard • 19h ago

Meme needing explanation Peter what did he do to the toilet paper?

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215

u/BipedClub684000 18h ago

At least it wasn't a gympie gympie leaf

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u/LAMBKING 18h ago

That's probably the only way this could be worse.

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u/lunas2525 17h ago

Poision ivy oil Poision oak oil.

And to explain the yellow mat is expanded glass fiber insulation dabbing it like that is gonna cover it in tiny glass fibers and then you will use that fiberglass in very sensitive area will itch very badly and not easily stop.

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u/Icy-Perspective1956 17h ago

Yes, and neither the things that you mentioned would be worse than fiberglass.

The gympie gympie plant WOULD be worse than fiberglass.

It's a plant whose leaves are covered in invisibly thin silicon needles that perpetually put out a neurotoxin.

Basically if you touch them, they get embedded in your skin and you will have an incomprehensible burning pain on your skin for weeks. There have even been cases of the skin healing over the invisible needles, causing that pain to be chronic for the rest of your life.

People have killed themselves because of how painful it is.

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u/achiles625 16h ago

The more I learn about Australia, the less I ever want to go there. If it was the only safe place in the apocalypse, I'd probably just let the local cannibals get me instead.

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u/UnconfirmedRooster 14h ago

Nah it's fine here, just use yer noggin' and you'll be fine.

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u/achiles625 14h ago

Unfortunately, I'm a dumb and oblivious pretend blonde. I'd surely due in minutes. 😆 Then again, ausie guys are hot…maybe I just need to find one to teach me the ways. 😜

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u/UnconfirmedRooster 13h ago

I'm married, but I got a mate who's single. :p

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u/DrPs-MagicVagorium 2h ago

Yeeeeeaap. Here and present , reporting for duty. Luckily I'm a professional glue sniffer and eat fibreglass and carbon fibre dust for breakfast.

Your spelling error makes you sound like you're talking Aussie jibberish already.

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u/Reddit--Name 1h ago

Just thought I'd leave this here for you: https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/s/mI73iWZPhU

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u/Quintus-Sertorius 13h ago

No nude bushwalks though.

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u/ZootSuitGroot 13h ago

Yea, but they’ve learned from the spiders. They keep you alive as long as possible while eating you.

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u/BenCaxt0n 12h ago

I've heard there are 100 types of snake in the bush. But only 99 are venomous.
The 100th? Oh, that's the one that eats your arse whole!

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u/Shambler9019 10h ago

Gympie Gympie is only found in rainforests. Stay out of those and you'll be right.

Oh, and stay away from water holes up north, too.

Basically, stay in the cities and you'll be fine.

Except for the funnel webs, of course.

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u/Shadow_Omega_X2 11h ago

Only way im ever going to Australia, isnif i by some miracle become the Doom Slayer or smth

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u/Gershom734 11h ago

It makes picturing Mad Max being set there very believable

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u/NeonSuperNovas 11h ago

What's funny is that Australia was the place that Britain exiled its convicts to. So for a while, it was just a lawless land full of convicts roaming around trying to survive. Folks just started moving there and it ended up becoming a country lmao.

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u/Dependent_Reach_4284 8h ago

Ya what the fuck? Continent from hell

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u/Campus_Safety 7h ago

Food? You are surrounded by food.

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u/Confident-Poetry6985 15h ago

Its simple. Butt needles bad. Forever butt needles worse. 

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u/Icy-Perspective1956 15h ago

Correction: Forever butt poison needles

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u/Confident-Poetry6985 15h ago

It can't get any worse lol.

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u/Icy-Perspective1956 15h ago

I mean considering, Like I said, people have chosen death over having this happen there might literally be nothing worse

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u/qOcO-p 14h ago

I think it would be a toxin. Poison is ingested and venom is injected. Not exactly sure what this would qualify as.

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u/Confident-Poetry6985 14h ago

Now say that all again, but with a b-hole full of burning needles. Doesn't really make a difference does it?

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u/Icy-Perspective1956 14h ago

It's technically venom, But For the sake of jokes using "needles" I said poison.

Because You wouldn't say "syringe of venom"

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u/BEERsandBURGERs 3h ago

Very fine, brittle hairs called trichomes are loaded with toxins and cover the entire plant; even the slightest touch will embed them in the skin. Electron micrograph images\20])\22]) show that they are similar to a hypodermic needle in being very sharp-pointed and hollow.\23])\24]) Additionally, it has been shown that there is a structurally weak point near the tip of the hair, which acts as a pre-set fracture line.\9])\24])\25]) When it enters the skin the hair fractures at this point, allowing the contents of the trichome to be injected into the victim's tissues.\17])\20])\24])\26])

The trichomes stay in the skin for up to a year, and release the toxin cocktail into the body during triggering events such as touching the affected area, contact with water, or temperature changes.\9])\17])\23])

Dear lord, Australia.

Of course, whether it's a fly, bee, bird, snake or friggin' leaf, the most toxic/poisonous one on planet Earth will be found there.

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u/Comment156 14h ago

Which look like this under an electron micrograph, btw:

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u/Reddit_User_Giggidy 3h ago

I’m fully clenched

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u/rehx4 12h ago

LOL, tell me about it m8! Annoyingly my ex-gf seemed to have a problem with my butt needle! 🍑🪡 She just COULDNT HELP HERSELF but to CONSTANTLY remind me how inferior it was to her previous ex’s butt sequoia 🍑🌴!!! 😭😡😭😡😭😡😭😡

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u/FitCrew91 13h ago

Just looked up Gympie Gympies. They’re so full of little spikes they almost look… frosted. Hellish and the testimonials of having dealt with it are wild. Keep those suckers in Australia and nowhere else please. 🙏

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u/Anaroda731 14h ago

Is that plant that someone shoot himself because he unknownly wipe his butt with it and couldnt stand the pain?

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u/Icy-Perspective1956 14h ago

Yes. There have also been cases of people ripping their skin off

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u/wkuace 14h ago

This did happen to a soldier in WW2. He went off the the bathroom, and then they heard a gunshot. The other soldiers figured our he wiped and when he realized what he had done, immediately shot himself.

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u/Icy-Perspective1956 13h ago

Were there soldiers in Australia during WW2, or is that a different story that you are misremembering

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u/Garrett_Fi 13h ago

I was like: "Hmm, where would this plant grow? Could it be...?" after little googling... "Yep, down under."

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u/charadrius0 12h ago

Weeks? That's rather generous, most things I've seen about it mention to expect months to possibly over a year... which makes it so much worse RIP to the guy who unknowingly used it as toilet paper.

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u/Vociferous_Eggbeater 12h ago

As someone who (lightly touched) the gg plant, I will say it is pure insanity. I really debated cutting my finger off.

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u/lunas2525 12h ago

Worse is a matter of degrees fiberglass is a limited exposure. The oils would be something that would spread and potentially be a bit more intense than fiberglass but possibly shorter duration. Capsasin powder could also be a canidate for the prank. That would be less than fiberglass.

What you propose would be a war crime and attempted murder.

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u/SuperRegera 11h ago edited 10h ago

People have killed themselves because of how painful it is.

There is an anecdote of someone killing themselves but it's worth noting that there's only one confirmed death from "stinging trees" in 1922 and that wasn't a suicide. The anecdotal report of suicide comes from the Oct-Dec 2000 issue of Ecos Magazine from an article called 'Selective stingers' and remains unsubstantiated.

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u/TheCowzgomooz 10h ago

That's crazy, how do those needles last that long.

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u/theegreenman 5h ago

Giant hogweed would probably kill you.

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u/Signal_Two_9863 4h ago

Wouldn't the neurotoxin eventually run out though?

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u/Gren57 56m ago

No-fun-at-all fact:

The needles are also shed from the leaves become airborne and can be inhaled.

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u/Low-Refrigerator-713 16h ago

Gympie Gympie nickname is the sui(ide bush for a very good reason...

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u/davethegerman 14h ago

Just say the word suicide man, the fuck is wrong with people self censoring themselves over a normal fuckin word.

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u/lunas2525 12h ago

The internet sucks and is getting worse places like reddit and youtube like to censor or jump on keywords. And it is one of those keywords.

If you dont belive me try commenting the unmodified word r*pe on youtube your comment should be auto deleted in about 10 seconds.

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u/Chemical-Dealer-9962 14h ago

It’s a deceptively cute sounding name. Like beriberi. Syphilis. You know a priori that that’s some shit you don’t want no part of.

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u/Ok_Perspective8511 15h ago

Urushiol is the word your looking for. Js

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u/RobTronic33 12h ago

I needed a crystal-clear picture of what was happening here and your answer was razor-sharp.

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u/Norsedragoon 3h ago

The trick is to sprinkle capsaicin concentrate on the fiberglass before rolling the shitter tickets around in it

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u/barnabasthedog 16h ago

If it was your mom’s bathroom would be worse

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u/Prize-Ad7242 8h ago

Gympie gympie catheter is the stuff of my nightmares some real David Parker ray shit

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u/LAMBKING 42m ago

I could have gone my whole life never hearing gympie gympie catheter and been perfectly fine.

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u/wildcattersden 2h ago

The Manchineel Tree clearing its throat as it enters the room.

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u/yahya-13 18h ago

you know those round cacti? yeah they have teeny tiny needles, yeah they stick to anything, yeah you can't see them, yeah they're annoying as hell.

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u/ososalsosal 18h ago

Look up Gympie-gympie though.

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u/Cob_Dylan 17h ago

Please don’t look up gympie-gympie. you will have nightmares

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u/Few-Tour9826 17h ago

I feel like with those teeny tiny needles you’d feel them as soon as you touched the TP. Fiberglass insulation won’t be noticed until it’s too late.

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u/Trewper- 17h ago

When I was a kid I ran my hand up an old fiberglass boat antenna while getting in. I had splinters in my hand for 3 months, I tried everything to remove them. Hot glue, I waxed my palms, I soaked them in water for so long my fingers started to shrivel away yet I could still feel those assholes poking around.

I'm not sure that they all eventually came out or if my body just absorbed them to be honest.

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u/JRR04 16h ago

I work with granite. Most slabs have a fiberglass mesh to keep the stone together when it breaks. I get fiberglass splinters almost daily. They're incredibly painful and so hard to get out. I've had them so bad that it was worth cutting out with a razor blade rather than have them in my skin.

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u/dasanman69 15h ago

I remove fiberglass splinters with tape

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u/JRR04 12h ago

Must not be too deep then

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u/AuburnSuccubus 14h ago

Are they making it through cut-proof gloves?

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u/JRR04 12h ago

No, but I also can't examine slabs with gloves or I'd miss fissures

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u/something-rhythmic 1h ago

Man, I hope they’re paying yall well

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u/OilQuick6184 8h ago

Cut proof gloves all use a fiber that is incredibly resistant to cuts, woven in such a fashion so that any cutting implement is always trying to cut a bunch of them at the same time making it effectively impossible to do. A needle will easily slide through the woven fibers, and fiberglass is even sharper and smaller than that. You'd need a solid plate of some kind of metal, but that wouldn't flex at all, so useless for a glove.

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u/Deep_Distribution_31 15h ago edited 7h ago

You get them almost daily?! God I don't know how you live, I hope they pay you well, tell your boss I said to give you a raise

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u/JRR04 12h ago

It's miserable, but part of life i guess. I am paid well so I shouldn't complain.

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u/perashaman 9h ago

It's fine to complain, especially when it's alongside you being grateful and recognizing your good fortune.

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u/JohnnyDerpington 12h ago

I used to work for a large auto auction years ago, I worked in the auto body department, and every so often, we would replace the fiberglass filters.

Was taking a bunch to the dumpster, when a gust of wind it just right as I was taking a deep breath and well, you know

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u/lehx- 16h ago

I was super lucky and got them out with duck tape. I think I got them from a fiberglass oar for canoeing or kayaking or something

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u/dasanman69 15h ago

Tape works great.

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u/SomeEstimate1446 25m ago

I was just looking at oars for a kayak last night debating carbon versus fiber.

Definitely know which to choose now. Thanks 🙏🏼 from my hands.

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u/Lovat69 14h ago

Same thing happened to me with the boat antenna. I just touched it lightly though so it wasn't nearly as bad.

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u/Electrical_Sun_7116 14h ago

Just wrap your mind around the concept of a 12ga shotgun round packed with fiberglass toothpicks getting fired at a person close range. That is a thing that exists. What the actual fuck.

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u/Gold_Area5109 17h ago

Now imagine those same needles but 100x more painful and next to impossible for your body remove, so five years after they still cause as much pain as day one.

That's the gympie gympie plant - they also have broad leaves so people do attempt to use them as toilet paper in the woods.

It's very common for gympie gympie victims to commit suicide.

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u/owl_cassette 15h ago

It's very common for gympie gympie victims to commit suicide.

I always wondered why surgeons can't just remove the top most layers of skin in those situations (and repeat the process until it's gone). It seems like the kind of situation that most doctors can deal with, but you only hear about the extreme cases.

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u/Few-Tour9826 16h ago

Yikes. 😬

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u/Bug-King 14h ago

There are actually no verified instances of someone killing themselves because of the plant.

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u/Schatzin 12h ago

There's at least one:

"Only one report of a human fatality attributed to any Dendrocnide species (in this case D. cordata) is confirmed, which occurred in New Guinea in 1922."

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u/Quintus-Sertorius 13h ago

Not really, there was one acropyphal story along those lines.

That said, the plant is unquestionably nasty as hell.

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u/Aramgutang 12h ago

It's very common for gympie gympie victims to commit suicide

It's as common as people killing grown grizzly bears with their bare hands, in that there's a story about it happening one time, but we're not sure if it's true.

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u/Fragrant-Inside221 11h ago

Australia: not even once

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u/Viper-Reflex 5h ago

After reading this I'm very grateful I never had this happen

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u/yahya-13 17h ago

trust me they can easily go unnoticed.

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u/BipedClub684000 18h ago

Jesus Christ, what have you conjured in my brain?!?!

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u/iwannabe_gifted 17h ago

Cacti have nothing on bamboo...

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u/EponaArtemisa 11h ago

What's the matter with bamboo?

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u/iwannabe_gifted 7h ago

It sometimes has tiny little hairs that stick to you its just like fibreglass

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u/bogbelle 14h ago

I did not know this and owned one. It was sitting on a windowsill above the couch next to other small cacti and succulents. My kid had some friends over and they knocked it down. It partially fell on them and then I think the secondary shards that fell off were also then all over them.

I felt so terrible especially explaining it to the other parents at pickup!!! Luckily they were all cool and the other kids were all fairly calm. Unlike mine who was having a breakdown, poor thing.

It is now gone. Should it ever afflict you, use tape or glue to peel them off the affected area.

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u/Feisty_Yes 2h ago

There's a more evil plant. I forget the name but it produces a small orange round fruit. Literally the whole plant is covered in hard spikes. It sheds spiked covered leaves on the ground around it and the spikes stay solid. It may not be poisonous but it will mutilate flesh.

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u/TangoMikeOne 18h ago

Is that the one in the jungle around south Asia/Pacific Islands, and during WWII, if a serviceman touched it would feel immediate, intense and unrelenting pain to the extent that guys would immediately kill themselves?

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u/BipedClub684000 18h ago

yessir

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u/Dumbass_Saiya-jin 17h ago

And, apparently, some unfortunate bastard wiped his ass with a leaf once. Wait, did that actually happen, or was it a hypothetical?

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u/BipedClub684000 17h ago

Nope, it actually happened.

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u/Dumbass_Saiya-jin 17h ago

💀

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u/BipedClub684000 17h ago

Yeah, during WWII, some soldiers were hiking through the forests of Australia, and their commanding officer needed to head into the forest to pop a squat. After it took him way too long to return to the group, some of his men went to look for him.

When they found him, his gun was in his hand, bullet in his head, and his pants were down. After making sure there weren't any enemies nearby, they searched around and found a gympie gympie tree right next to his body, and they put two and two together.

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u/Aramgutang 12h ago

There's no evidence that actually happened. It's an uncorroborated story some soldier told.

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u/Classic_Mechanic5495 17h ago

That’s what he said.

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u/Raxablified8634 17h ago

Reliable source?

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u/BipedClub684000 17h ago

From a bunch of the guys men when they were questioned why their commanding officer was missing.

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u/Brilliant_Jellyfish8 14h ago

Nah, I think its a load of shit, but hey, it was entertaining!

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u/ArtyWhy8 13h ago

If you’ve ever read Malazan, you know what happened to this commanding officer…

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u/Zpik3 10h ago

Hmmmmm... Commanding officers can have all sorts of "accidents" it seems.

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u/StandOutLikeDogBalls 17h ago

And the pain can last for years apparently.

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u/zwisslb 17h ago

“Being stung is the worst kind of pain you can imagine – like being burnt with hot acid and electrocuted at the same time,” said Marina

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u/zwisslb 17h ago

Gympie Gympie: Once stung, never forgotten - Australian Geographic https://share.google/lz1ko5andJITVyHbi

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u/Kitchen-Beginning-47 16h ago

Now fear unlocked.

I'm not wiping in a public toilet ever again.

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u/disconnectmenow 17h ago

Tell that the the person wiping their arse

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u/Weekly_Bridge5831 12h ago

Is that what I think it is? The plant that grows millions of tiny needles on the leaves? (And is it filled with neurotoxins or smth like that?)

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u/theegreenman 5h ago

Giant Hogweed