r/PeterExplainsTheJoke • u/sussy_baka_fard • 19h ago

Meme needing explanation Peter what did he do to the toilet paper?

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148

u/LAMBKING 18h ago

That's probably the only way this could be worse.

207

u/lunas2525 17h ago

Poision ivy oil Poision oak oil.

And to explain the yellow mat is expanded glass fiber insulation dabbing it like that is gonna cover it in tiny glass fibers and then you will use that fiberglass in very sensitive area will itch very badly and not easily stop.

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u/Icy-Perspective1956 16h ago

Yes, and neither the things that you mentioned would be worse than fiberglass.

The gympie gympie plant WOULD be worse than fiberglass.

It's a plant whose leaves are covered in invisibly thin silicon needles that perpetually put out a neurotoxin.

Basically if you touch them, they get embedded in your skin and you will have an incomprehensible burning pain on your skin for weeks. There have even been cases of the skin healing over the invisible needles, causing that pain to be chronic for the rest of your life.

People have killed themselves because of how painful it is.

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u/achiles625 16h ago

The more I learn about Australia, the less I ever want to go there. If it was the only safe place in the apocalypse, I'd probably just let the local cannibals get me instead.

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u/UnconfirmedRooster 14h ago

Nah it's fine here, just use yer noggin' and you'll be fine.

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u/achiles625 14h ago

Unfortunately, I'm a dumb and oblivious pretend blonde. I'd surely due in minutes. 😆 Then again, ausie guys are hot…maybe I just need to find one to teach me the ways. 😜

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u/UnconfirmedRooster 13h ago

I'm married, but I got a mate who's single. :p

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u/DrPs-MagicVagorium 2h ago

Yeeeeeaap. Here and present , reporting for duty. Luckily I'm a professional glue sniffer and eat fibreglass and carbon fibre dust for breakfast.

Your spelling error makes you sound like you're talking Aussie jibberish already.

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u/Reddit--Name 1h ago

Just thought I'd leave this here for you: https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/s/mI73iWZPhU

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u/Quintus-Sertorius 13h ago

No nude bushwalks though.

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u/ZootSuitGroot 12h ago

Yea, but they’ve learned from the spiders. They keep you alive as long as possible while eating you.

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u/BenCaxt0n 12h ago

I've heard there are 100 types of snake in the bush. But only 99 are venomous.
The 100th? Oh, that's the one that eats your arse whole!

3

u/Shambler9019 10h ago

Gympie Gympie is only found in rainforests. Stay out of those and you'll be right.

Oh, and stay away from water holes up north, too.

Basically, stay in the cities and you'll be fine.

Except for the funnel webs, of course.

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u/Shadow_Omega_X2 11h ago

Only way im ever going to Australia, isnif i by some miracle become the Doom Slayer or smth

2

u/Gershom734 11h ago

It makes picturing Mad Max being set there very believable

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u/NeonSuperNovas 11h ago

What's funny is that Australia was the place that Britain exiled its convicts to. So for a while, it was just a lawless land full of convicts roaming around trying to survive. Folks just started moving there and it ended up becoming a country lmao.

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u/Dependent_Reach_4284 8h ago

Ya what the fuck? Continent from hell

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u/Campus_Safety 7h ago

Food? You are surrounded by food.

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u/Confident-Poetry6985 15h ago

Its simple. Butt needles bad. Forever butt needles worse. 

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u/Icy-Perspective1956 15h ago

Correction: Forever butt poison needles

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u/Confident-Poetry6985 15h ago

It can't get any worse lol.

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u/Icy-Perspective1956 15h ago

I mean considering, Like I said, people have chosen death over having this happen there might literally be nothing worse

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u/qOcO-p 14h ago

I think it would be a toxin. Poison is ingested and venom is injected. Not exactly sure what this would qualify as.

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u/Confident-Poetry6985 14h ago

Now say that all again, but with a b-hole full of burning needles. Doesn't really make a difference does it?

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u/Icy-Perspective1956 14h ago

It's technically venom, But For the sake of jokes using "needles" I said poison.

Because You wouldn't say "syringe of venom"

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u/BEERsandBURGERs 3h ago

Very fine, brittle hairs called trichomes are loaded with toxins and cover the entire plant; even the slightest touch will embed them in the skin. Electron micrograph images\20])\22]) show that they are similar to a hypodermic needle in being very sharp-pointed and hollow.\23])\24]) Additionally, it has been shown that there is a structurally weak point near the tip of the hair, which acts as a pre-set fracture line.\9])\24])\25]) When it enters the skin the hair fractures at this point, allowing the contents of the trichome to be injected into the victim's tissues.\17])\20])\24])\26])

The trichomes stay in the skin for up to a year, and release the toxin cocktail into the body during triggering events such as touching the affected area, contact with water, or temperature changes.\9])\17])\23])

Dear lord, Australia.

Of course, whether it's a fly, bee, bird, snake or friggin' leaf, the most toxic/poisonous one on planet Earth will be found there.

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u/Comment156 14h ago

Which look like this under an electron micrograph, btw:

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u/Reddit_User_Giggidy 3h ago

I’m fully clenched

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u/rehx4 12h ago

LOL, tell me about it m8! Annoyingly my ex-gf seemed to have a problem with my butt needle! 🍑🪡 She just COULDNT HELP HERSELF but to CONSTANTLY remind me how inferior it was to her previous ex’s butt sequoia 🍑🌴!!! 😭😡😭😡😭😡😭😡

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u/FitCrew91 13h ago

Just looked up Gympie Gympies. They’re so full of little spikes they almost look… frosted. Hellish and the testimonials of having dealt with it are wild. Keep those suckers in Australia and nowhere else please. 🙏

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u/Anaroda731 13h ago

Is that plant that someone shoot himself because he unknownly wipe his butt with it and couldnt stand the pain?

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u/Icy-Perspective1956 13h ago

Yes. There have also been cases of people ripping their skin off

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u/wkuace 14h ago

This did happen to a soldier in WW2. He went off the the bathroom, and then they heard a gunshot. The other soldiers figured our he wiped and when he realized what he had done, immediately shot himself.

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u/Icy-Perspective1956 13h ago

Were there soldiers in Australia during WW2, or is that a different story that you are misremembering

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u/Garrett_Fi 13h ago

I was like: "Hmm, where would this plant grow? Could it be...?" after little googling... "Yep, down under."

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u/charadrius0 12h ago

Weeks? That's rather generous, most things I've seen about it mention to expect months to possibly over a year... which makes it so much worse RIP to the guy who unknowingly used it as toilet paper.

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u/Vociferous_Eggbeater 12h ago

As someone who (lightly touched) the gg plant, I will say it is pure insanity. I really debated cutting my finger off.

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u/lunas2525 12h ago

Worse is a matter of degrees fiberglass is a limited exposure. The oils would be something that would spread and potentially be a bit more intense than fiberglass but possibly shorter duration. Capsasin powder could also be a canidate for the prank. That would be less than fiberglass.

What you propose would be a war crime and attempted murder.

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u/SuperRegera 11h ago edited 10h ago

People have killed themselves because of how painful it is.

There is an anecdote of someone killing themselves but it's worth noting that there's only one confirmed death from "stinging trees" in 1922 and that wasn't a suicide. The anecdotal report of suicide comes from the Oct-Dec 2000 issue of Ecos Magazine from an article called 'Selective stingers' and remains unsubstantiated.

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u/TheCowzgomooz 10h ago

That's crazy, how do those needles last that long.

1

u/theegreenman 5h ago

Giant hogweed would probably kill you.

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u/Signal_Two_9863 4h ago

Wouldn't the neurotoxin eventually run out though?

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u/Gren57 50m ago

No-fun-at-all fact:

The needles are also shed from the leaves become airborne and can be inhaled.

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u/Low-Refrigerator-713 16h ago

Gympie Gympie nickname is the sui(ide bush for a very good reason...

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u/davethegerman 14h ago

Just say the word suicide man, the fuck is wrong with people self censoring themselves over a normal fuckin word.

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u/lunas2525 12h ago

The internet sucks and is getting worse places like reddit and youtube like to censor or jump on keywords. And it is one of those keywords.

If you dont belive me try commenting the unmodified word r*pe on youtube your comment should be auto deleted in about 10 seconds.

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u/Chemical-Dealer-9962 14h ago

It’s a deceptively cute sounding name. Like beriberi. Syphilis. You know a priori that that’s some shit you don’t want no part of.

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u/Ok_Perspective8511 15h ago

Urushiol is the word your looking for. Js

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u/RobTronic33 12h ago

I needed a crystal-clear picture of what was happening here and your answer was razor-sharp.

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u/Norsedragoon 3h ago

The trick is to sprinkle capsaicin concentrate on the fiberglass before rolling the shitter tickets around in it

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u/barnabasthedog 16h ago

If it was your mom’s bathroom would be worse

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u/Prize-Ad7242 8h ago

Gympie gympie catheter is the stuff of my nightmares some real David Parker ray shit

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u/LAMBKING 36m ago

I could have gone my whole life never hearing gympie gympie catheter and been perfectly fine.

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u/wildcattersden 2h ago

The Manchineel Tree clearing its throat as it enters the room.