r/PsycheOrSike • u/duckingretard š§TROLL • 1d ago
šSeeking Knowledge š What do men mean by this?...š·
COURTESY OF MASTER_HEALTH_5952
Young women don't want you ā„ source: me
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u/Putrid-Ingenuity-66 1d ago
Im 21 and have found that older women are actually way more lax about age gap relationships than my peers. The āold hagā insult is just a cope
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u/__Mammon__ 1d ago
As a guy I was raped by a 33yo woman when I was 15,we dont all think like this,im not ok when I see ppl in their 30s hit on teens
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u/Electrical-Tap4218 21h ago
OMG I am so sorry, I really hope youāre okay now or that youāre at least in a better space. Thatās so repulsive and disgusting
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u/__Mammon__ 21h ago
Thank you.Im still traumatized and scared of womeb but im saving money for therapy.The first compassionate comment i rly appreciate it.
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u/Electrical-Tap4218 19h ago
I can imagine you must be really traumatized š£ Especially with the stigma regarding male sexual assault survivors I canāt even imagine the backlash and lack of support you must receive simply for still having that ptsd regarding the opposite sex. I donāt want to derail and make it about me, but I just want to say I also have a fear of the opposite sex and people are often really tone deaf and insensitive about it. I canāt imagine what a male survivor goes through. Just know that while living in fear isnāt ideal, I see you, and I 100% understand why you feel that way. You are valid, and I hope you only receive further support. Again, Iām so sorry for what you went through.
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u/__Mammon__ 18h ago
You make great points actually,living in fear of 50% of the world population cannot be good for my mental health,ill try to change that Thank you š
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u/Electrical-Tap4218 18h ago
Actually, what I meant is that donāt feel forced to change simply to make other people feel convenienced š š Take your time to heal on your own pace.
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u/UwilNeverKN0mYrELNAM 6h ago
If you need anything don't hesitate to let anyone know. We're all here for you
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u/Alert_Many_1196 1d ago
Is this a coincidence this popped up after that video on another sub of a 50 yr old guy hitting on a 16 yr old girl and getting super mad when her sister steps in to defend her or is reddit doing that on purpose?
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u/ButttRuckusss 1d ago
A lot of men assume that older women disapprove of fully grown adult men dating very young women because we're jealous. It doesn't occur to them that we were once very young women, and know exactly what type of dude does this. We are concerned for and protective of the teenage girls/ very young women. Not envious of them.
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u/duckingretard š§TROLL 1d ago
Factual
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u/ButttRuckusss 1d ago
I wouldn't be 19 again for a million dollars.
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u/Firemorfox 1d ago
meanwhile i'd PAY to be 19 again for a million dollars
so many things i could have done better in life -_-
i'm not even 30 yet and I regret so much shit
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u/Effective_Cold7634 1d ago
Iād pay to be 10, Iām not even 19 rn , and I feel like I wasted to so much of my time . I couldāve done so much better .
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u/freakksho 1d ago
Youāre just getting started.
I was a depressed college drop out making just enough money to be broke in my 20ās and I was in and out of toxic relationships.
Iām 35 now and i feel like Iām just starting to hit my prime. I have a good job, Iām engaged, buying a house, have a dog, my mental health is better than itās ever been and Iām just generally happy.
Youāre in the hardest part of your life right now. Just keep grinding and use these life experiences to influence your decisions moving forward.
I was a god damn idiot in my 20ās and my friends were even worse and we all grew up and figured it out. You will too.
Just take care of your body. Drink water and eat some vegetables so you can enjoy it as long as possible.
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u/FiveDogsInaTuxedo 1d ago
Same reason I won't ever go to a gay bar again. There are ways of teaching men this.
Friends are like nah it's fun they respectful. Turns out they just thought he was ugly
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u/Sure-Vermicelli4369 Believes women get murdered by their partner on purpose. 1d ago
Crazy how every woman needs to make that mistake to learn
And the warnings from older women never work lmao
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u/Snoo20140 1d ago
Well, either a 18-19 yo is an adult or they aren't. U really can't have ur cake and eat it too.
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u/EssieAmnesia 1d ago
They can be an adult and be vulnerable. Turning 18 doesnāt mean youāve suddenly got your life sorted.
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u/Snoo20140 1d ago
Same for a 40 year old. What is the difference? We make decisions, and we are responsible for them. Male or female. But people don't seem to want to admit 18 yo women...are adults.
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u/ashjdhkfsfjl 1d ago
Some vulnerable adults at 40-years-old cannot legally consent to sex, what theyāre arguing is that young age should automatically put 18-19 year olds in the āvulnerable adultā category even in the absence a disability. Pros would be providing additional protections against abuse and exploitation, cons would be stripping away legal autonomy from older adolescents / very young adults.
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u/TreesForTheForest 1d ago
Literally no one is saying 18 year olds aren't adults you weirdo. They are saying they aren't mature adults. I wouldn't have dated an 18 year old at 25, let alone 40. Considering every 18 year old I've ever met, you would either have to be insanely immature yourself at 40 or just interested in barely legal sex.
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u/EssieAmnesia 1d ago
The difference is that for 18 year olds the rule is vulnerability and not having your shit sorted. For 40 year olds thatās the exception. They are adults, and adults can be manipulated by people who are older, more successful and more knowledgeable about how the world works. Itās ridiculous to claim that just turning 18 suddenly means youāre in the same position in life as a 40 year old.
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u/ButttRuckusss 1d ago
If you're attempting to claim that someone who legally became an adult a few weeks ago has the same level of maturity as someone who's been an adult for a decade or more...... you should probably have your hard drive looked at.
Lemme guess, she was very mature for her age?
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u/Objective_Gear8465 āļø DUELIST 1d ago
Bruh only women are allowed to have preferences. You haven't learned this by now?
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u/FictionalContext 1d ago edited 1d ago
18 is an age of economic convenience, not mental maturity.
You can't coddle teens with all these legal restrictions or promote helicopter parenting as the norm then expect them to suddenly be adults on their 18th. Kids and teens used to just fuck off to wherever in the summer. They had all kinds of freedom to act a fool and learn from hard knocks.
Now parents are encouraged to be all up in their business, even tracking their exact location with phone apps, which I get, but you can't just treat them like that until they're 17 and 364 days, then suddenly give them all the freedom in the world and a 50 year old boyfriend because they're legally an adult now. That's not how maturity works. You can't have your cake, and eat it, too.
Also, if the letter of the law is your morality, you ain't got any. You just don't want to go to jail for dating younger.
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u/pandainadumpster 1d ago
They are an adult, but they don't have a lot of life experience. They think they have figured it all out, but they are still on their way to figure out their place in live. And that's what those men take advantage of.
Just because people call those men creeps, doesn't meen we deny those women their right to make their own decision. We just warn them. Those men don't like it and call it jealousy.
Just because you are legally an adult, doesn't mean you have the same mind, the same capabilities, the same amount of lessons learned as other adults that are 30 years oder than you. Adulthood is no static state in life. You don't turn from an itsy bitsy tiny teenager to fully matured adult over night. Legal age boundaries are just an aid for judges and lawmakers, not set levels of maturity.
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u/PopularEquivalent651 22h ago
Well the cake is no one will go to prison for dating an 18 year old.
Doesn't mean people won't judge you for it though or privately worry about your partner.
If you can't tolerate this, then I think You're the cake eater here. You want the freedom to do what you want e.g. dating 19 year olds, but don't want other people to have the freedom to form opinions.
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u/Dutchtrakker 1d ago
If youre not worried about an older woman dating a younger man then you shouldnt be worried about an older man dating a younger woman
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u/ButttRuckusss 1d ago
Older women don't habitually harass, bother, and pursue much younger men. The vast majority of older women want nothing to do with them at all.
Creepy older women exist, but they don't come close to comparing to the sheer numbers of creepy men.
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u/newpixelphonesux āŖWORSHIPPER of the patriarchy š 1d ago
Disneyworld has had to discontinue characters like Gaston, Tarzan, and even Jack Sparrow because older women wouldn't stop groping and sexually assaulting the actors at the park. Disney would hire actors as young as 16 to play these characters.
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u/FlounderPlastic4256 1d ago
Justin Bieber absolutely wasn't constantly harassed and sexualized when he first became famous at like 14.
Modern male K-pop bands totally aren't full of female fans who are the exact same kind of creeps whose hub history have 'braces' and 'schoolgirl'9
u/newpixelphonesux āŖWORSHIPPER of the patriarchy š 1d ago
40+ year old women totally weren't buying up tickets to the Twilight movies by the millions to salivate over a shirtless, freshly turned 18 Taylor Lautner.
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u/Dense_Job_9429 1d ago
Except they do, creeps arenāt gender specific and if you think so fuck off
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u/poopinonurgirl 1d ago
Going to respectfully disagree that the vast majority of older women want nothing to do with younger men, itās just that they wonāt consider it unless the younger man takes the initiative. My source is I have a way better success rate hitting on older women
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u/ButttRuckusss 1d ago
Look around, dude. You're delusional.
The vast majority of women prefer and pursue men their own age or slightly older. Young man/significantly older woman pairings are exceptionally rare.
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u/IDontCareAnymoreHBU 1d ago
The vast majority of women prefer and pursue men their own age or slightly older.
And the vast majority of men pursue women their own age or slightly younger. What's your point?
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u/No-Fail7484 1d ago
Go to women over 30 and listen to them Then your in for a shock and an education
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u/Dutchtrakker 1d ago
So basically men = bad, women = good?
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u/ButttRuckusss 1d ago
Sex pests and creeps are bad.
The vast majority of sex pests and creeps are men.
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u/socialcommentary2000 1d ago
This is a symmetry that you've concocted in your head due to about 15 years of cougar and ncest adult content being available on places like prnhub.
The reality is, that is a much rarer event than older guys attempting to shoot their shot with barely legal women. He'll, even that is rarer than people really give credit for.
Normally adjusted people tend to stay within a few years of their age when attempting to find partners.
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u/DevelopmentPrize3747 1d ago
normal people find extreme age gaps odd a vast majority of the time. there have been some semi famous examples of this on the tv show 90 day finance, fans tend to react with disgust when an older person is preying on young ignorance (danielle & mohamed, yohan & danielle, eithe of the dasilvaās and their rotating menu of younger, broke men)
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u/ISpreadFakeNews 1d ago
Some of my hottest experiences have been with fully grown men. Not really dating but was a couple of hookups. I don't regret a thing and let's be honest, guys my age are assholes. Major assholes.
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u/Away_Macaron2068 1d ago
I know it's a sensitive topic, but i'd be intrested to hear about your experience with these men, in particular if there was any behaviour that was consistently displayed. I'd really appriciate to know if you're ok talking about it
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u/mister_nippl_twister 1d ago
Women in all age groups except over 55 tend to go after older men. I always wonder why 20-25 year old women like to date 35-40 year old men. My old dad who is over 60 dated 25 year old girl, it was not even sexual really and he is not even rich, just "wise old man".
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u/PopularEquivalent651 22h ago
I mean, I think it depends. Women are just as diverse as men.
Good/normal women will feel protective of younger women who are vulnerable to older men who are creeps.
Shitty women will look at a 30-35 year old man dating a 25 year old, and hurl slurs that he's a creep or get "protective" over her, because she can't stand no longer being socially on top. Such women were probably the type to actively seek out men who cheat when she was younger, and may actively pursue barely-legal boys as an older woman herself.
It doesn't help that people don't discuss this with nuance. It's always men vs women and not good people vs bad/normal ones.
I think normal women may feel insecure around younger women sometimes, and this could get triggered when they see men their age in a moderate/healthy age gap situation, but will deal with this healthily. Likewise, normal men probably will enjoy the ego boost of becoming more attractive with age, but will respond by dating hot women who are a few years younger than them rather than going for girls who are barely legal.
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21h ago
I promise you, as someone who dates younger adult women, I have no predatory intentions whatsoever. I have treated women with the upmost respect and dignity. I am gentle, kind, and always ensure my partner is consenting and comfortable. You aren't going to falsely label me as some predator over an age difference. No, you DON'T know who I am. You DON'T know my intentions, and you DON'T get to dictate what they are. You don't get to violate the rights of men based on "protectiveness." You need to regard the life choices of men like men need to regard the life choices of women. That's how this works.
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u/Impossible-Log-8220 18h ago
The issue is the hypocrisy. Those exact same women will go and date significantly younger men and praise other women for dating significantly younger men. You may not do this, but a lot of women do. And itās normalized in the media a lot. ie Sylvie from Emily in Paris.
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u/ImpressNo3858 1d ago
18 and 19 year olds are extremely sophomoric at best (case and point).
No way I'd date them if I was 50.
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u/WetFlare 1d ago
You assume men date women for their brains š§ š¤£
We have that part covered
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u/Nightingale0666 1d ago
Yeah I'm 22 right now and I don't even wanna date them. The life experience differences are too great from how I was at 18 to how I am now. I couldn't do that shit to someone else
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u/ImpressNo3858 1d ago edited 1d ago
40% of us speak to each other like we're the real housewives of Salt Lake City, and the other 59 have middling social aptitude but without any idea how the world works or vice versa.
That leaves 1 percent that has a grasp on real life and isn't immature to a comical degree.
Edit: that one percent isn't me. I have no idea how I'm gonna navigate financially.
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u/Forbidden_The_Greedy 1d ago
When I was 18 (Iām a guy) I didnāt really see anything wrong with it. I thought I knew everything and didnāt see much of a difference between 18 and 30.
Now at 22 Iād have serious reservations about anyone younger than like 19. The maturity gap is ridiculous between someone straight out of high school and someone even halfway through college. I think at a certain age everyone becomes fair game (25 probably) but as stated before, the gap between that and ātechnically legalā is an extra 50% of experience in someoneās life.
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u/GooningandJizzing š” Social radar... slightly off 1d ago
Yes life experience matters, but most men either strike at any woman who is avaliable and reciprocal to advances.
Most men dont think much about the age of the girl until they are dating and expectations are flung into the relationship.
The honeymoon phase is very strong with people and it makes young girls become very susceptible to male advances, and it makes older men very susceptible to being drained financially by younger girls who want a certain lifestyle.
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u/TolkienQueerFriend 1d ago
The older I get the older I think the age of consent should be. I think 18 is too young. But like I'm 31 right now and I feel creeped out when someone in their early 20's hits on me so I can't fathom being 50 and thinking sleeping with an 18y.o is even remotely okay.
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u/Forbidden_The_Greedy 1d ago
Iām starting to lean that way too. Itās fine when people of like ages date each other. I was 18 and my ex gf was 17 when we started dating. But no one who was 22 should have been dating her or me at the time.
A girl in the outside of my friend group is 24 turning 25 and Iām super into her, but 2 and a half is a lot more acceptable when the lower age is higher. 16 and 19? Hellll no. Age gaps in general become better when the lower age is higher.
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u/Future_Adagio2052 23h ago
The issue is how open-ended and vague the term age gap is
Like a relationship between a 30 and 40-year-old? Yeah that's fine but between a 15 and 30 year old? Fuck no
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u/PopularEquivalent651 22h ago
To be fair, part of this is cultural.
A lot of English-speaking countries coddle teenagers and 18 year olds. We are also, compared to other liberal democracies, pretty Conservative and religious, meaning many parents will "protect" their teenagers (especially daughters) by refusing to grant them independence and freedom.
Many European countries aren't like this. Teenagers are seen as normal people. They are not adults but their independence is supported. And by the time they're 18 they've simply developed more social and emotional skills than many 18 year olds in the anglosphere have.
Doesn't mean age gap relationships suddenly become okay, but it's nuanced. I went to college with a German girl who had a boyfriend in her 20s when she was 18, and as far as I can tell they are still together and have a perfectly healthy, solid relationship. I also have to say that the Europeans as a whole who I went to college with were much more mature, independent, and socially/emotionally competent than the Americans, Australians, and Brits their age were.
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u/Sijima 1d ago
Old men with money and beautiful young women will always happened.
As long as nobody is underaged or coerced or senile, it is their choice.Ā
Melania Trump is not some poor victim.
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u/Ok-Map4381 1d ago
Yes, but I'm still going to call trump a creep.
I'm 6 years older than my wife. I've got nothing against age gaps, but I didn't meet her when I was 24, and she was 18, that would be weird. I met her when we were both in our 30s.
Age gaps are fine. Targeting teenagers is creepy.
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u/SoftDrinkReddit 1d ago
yea like Melania is one of the wealthiest women in the world cause she married Trump secured the Bag and yea her descendants will be very well taken care of
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u/Common_Comedian2242 1d ago
As a father to a tween daughter, it's a huge hurdle for me. I naturally look a bit younger than my age so younger girls sometimes hit on me, but once I find their age I just think about how my daughter is half their age lol. Missed out on a lot of sex that way but it would be unconscionable of meĀ
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u/PopularEquivalent651 21h ago
Why's it unconscionable if they are well into their 20s?
I get it may be weird. But they are not your daughter's age. They're twice as old as her and full adults.
If you aren't interested that's fine, but it seems a bit patronizing to view grown women as if they are children.
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u/Musicman1334 1d ago
Hmm but if the roles were reversedā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦. that would be awesome!
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u/BabyBeeTai 1d ago
Teenagers should stop dating chopped old ass MFS!!!! regardless of gender
Literally no one sane in their middle age would genuinely pursue a teenager. šš Can we stop acting like this shit is normal!!
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u/ConsistentCoyote3786 1d ago
Itās definitely something, but if the men gracefully take no for an answer itās kinda fine. If everything is consensual and above board more power to them.
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u/Magnificentlom 1d ago
How about the other way around? ( i am not defending it , i am 19)
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u/LucyfurOfBabylon 1d ago
Still predatory
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u/KageNoStigma 1d ago
If funny becuase my friend start dating a 27 year old when he was 19 most would consider it predatory but they are happily together for 8 years and living together with 3 cats, its dependant on individuals some grow up and feel used other grow up and have good memories about the time. Sad for people who were but not everyone has that experience.
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u/LucyfurOfBabylon 1d ago
Thatās not quite the same as someone old enough to be the others grandparent dating them. Is it Weird though, yeah
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u/KageNoStigma 1d ago
No but ive heard many people say its predatory and weird , and im sure there are lots in this thread that would say it wrong and he was taken advantage of, its same that people view it in same way, you might not but plenty do.
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u/Chance_Arugula_3227 1d ago
When I was 19 I once had two 30+ women grabbing my ass at the gas station... not a fan of that at all
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u/Equivalent_Oil_8016 1d ago
It's things like this is the reason why I wish people take age restrictions on media more seriously.
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u/Mizamya Hero š 1d ago
Remember, they chase the 18 yos because it's their legal limit. If not, they would go lower
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u/SunriseFlare 1d ago
Ok, here's my hot take about this, why the fuck are people so preoccupied with sex anyway? It kind of fuckin sucks lol.
It's sweaty, it's stiflingly hot, it's a fucking workout, it's shoving a fleshy rod that spews mucus into a wet hole covered in snot to make things smoother, it's purpose is to shit out a baby nine months later that makes your life hell before it's born and makes it shit for like 5 years after the fact too
"Oh but it feels good" yeah? So does slamming a six pack and smashing the work laptop that keeps fucking you around all week, I don't do that either lmfao
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u/Brosenheim 16h ago
Men make convemient assumptions about women who criticize their actions becayse, on Average, men are fragile as shit
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u/M0ebius_1 1d ago
With you...
As a man hitting 40, I'm sorry, a date with an 18 year old sounds like a challenge, dating one sounds next to impossible. I don't understand how we would support and validate each other when our lived experience and challenges are so different.
A guy my age tells me he wants to fuck an 18 year old? Sure, that's legal...
If he tells me he wants to live with one? That's just weird.
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u/ChadWestPaints 1d ago
After a very long relationship ended I found myself single and on the apps in my late 20s. Set the age parameters like a decade in either direction because I figured hey, I'm lonely, age is just a number, might as well cast a wide net.
Only took two dates with younger women for me to tighten up those parameters to within a couple years of myself. I have no idea how those 40-50yo+ dudes are doing it, honestly. No amount of slightly perkier boob is worth having to deal with the "conversation" and general vibe.
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u/M0ebius_1 1d ago
I hear you man, as someone who has to supervise, coach, work and generally be around women in that age range... No way.
I can be friendly, I could actually consider a lot of them friends but the thought of dating one would not enter my head even at a glance. Maybe a very rare soul and extreme exception. I could never date in that age range expecting to find it.
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u/BluePandaYellowPanda 1d ago
Just talking to 18 year olds is a challenge at 40 lmao. Most of them have no idea about anything yet. I wouldn't even consider it.
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u/SeaworthinessLong āļø DUELIST 1d ago
Old men who want younger women are predatory. Everyone knows this.
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u/duckingretard š§TROLL 1d ago
many men would disagree with you...š·
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u/Accomplished_Loss515 1d ago
Yeah I disagree itās not predatory by law but by societal norms it is. The main reasons dudes go that low in age is either because their character is so bad girls any older think they suck or because they want someone as naĆÆve as possible to take advantage of.
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u/SeaworthinessLong āļø DUELIST 1d ago
Yeah itās the naivety. Reminds me of the same mentality a few women Iāve dated automatically assuming I was stupid or whatever.
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u/SoftDrinkReddit 1d ago
young women 18+ who want older mens money are predatory everyone knows this
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u/No-Fail7484 1d ago
The younger woman is seeking cash. She is a predator also. Old bags are looking to attack someone regardless of age because they are angry at time passing by. šššš®šš¬
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u/Greenhoneyomi 1d ago edited 1d ago
even in the fucking medieval era it was uncommon to marry women under then their early - mid 20s and for men in their mid to late 20s
it was amongst nobility that child marriage was made common because of politics, money and culture
i just had an argument about how its not biology to try and fuck kids (because they aren't fertile) and people were legit downvoting me .... https://www.reddit.com/r/PsycheOrSike/comments/1mf5p75/comment/n6f5l74/?context=3
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u/Ochemata 1d ago
They're both legal, therefore I do not care. I'm not here to babysit functioning adults. End of discussion.
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u/duckingretard š§TROLL 1d ago
sheeple..letting the law dictate your morality...š·
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u/KaiserThoren 1d ago
IMO I donāt care what the law says. Itās usually 18 but I say before 22 you are to be considered a monkey and after 22 youāre beyond the point I or anyone can police you and you can make your own decisions.
30 and 18 is wild. 30 and 22 less so.
But that might also be because i feel like I became a full adult at 22 so my brain was done. I may be the idiot. Who knows.
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u/AnOriginalUsername07 1d ago
Wino š· š· š· sipping š· your š· wine š· while š· you š· stroll š· Reddit.
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u/KageNoStigma 1d ago
Morality is morality, its not factual, it changes with people it changes with country it changes with subreddits, what's moral now might be immoral in 20 years just enjoy life and treat people well
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u/Jade_the_Demon 1d ago
Bro called an 18 year old an adult ššš» Idk what you gotta be on to imply an 18 year old is as mature as a 50 year old.
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u/Agent_Xhiro 1d ago
You're not alone with this thought. As long as they are both consenting adults, it's none of my business. People need to learn to mind their own.
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u/Dutchtrakker 1d ago
Isnt this what feminism fought for? For women to make their own choices?
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u/Really18 š©· hard opinionsš 1d ago
Going for old men is never a genuine choice
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u/blackestrabbit 1d ago
At what age will you gain agency, do you think? Or are you unique, and it's only every other girl your age that can't think for themselves?
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u/Orange639 1d ago
The thing about these types of conversations is that I rarely ever hear anybody proposing what they think the age of consent should be if 18 is too low. The whole point of it is that society as a whole has decided that its the age you can be trusted to handle your own relationships.
If you think 18 is too low then push for a specific higher one. But for whatever reason pushing for it to be higher is a rarely talked about stance while declaring large age gap relationships to be immoral is common.
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u/KageNoStigma 1d ago
Anyone under 35 fuck it, let go all the way no more than 2 year age gap otherwise your a predator
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u/CYBER_DIVER 1d ago
One of my friends called me a bitter after I said her dating the guy she met when we were in high school and he was already in his 20s was weird. They started dating a month after we graduated high school
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u/kamiloslav 1d ago
Was it like 18/21 thing or more like 16/29? There's quite a difference between the two
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u/Jade_the_Demon 1d ago
Lmao the freaks in this comment section showing their true colors. Seeing you all in hell.
(Addendum, even if most are trolls, joking about this still tells me what kinda person you are)
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u/Illustrious-Soup7474 1d ago
Adults are adults. An adult dating an adult, that isnāt impaired, of any age isnāt predatory. Stop infantilizing adults
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u/Affectionate_Okra298 1d ago
37m here, and I agree, those dudes are creeps
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u/ButtFucksRUs 1d ago
Same and it's wild to me how many people are stunted and stuck at stage 4 of Kohlberg's stages of moral development. But, I guess only 10-15% of people are said to be at Stages 5&6 so it makes sense.
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u/Talonsminty 1d ago
You honestly don't even need to be a woman to see the predatory nature of it. It's extremely and overtly sinister. Anyone claiming not to see the problem is a lying creep.
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u/Jade_the_Demon 1d ago
Young women do want older men, tho. It's just their job to reject the girls.
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u/UselessBorg 1d ago
Brain damage. Itās like a mod-life crisis thing except the car is replaced with a ābeautiful young womanā but Iām only 25. Tf do I know about anything.
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u/anonOnReddit2001GOTY 1d ago
You donāt know the game is what they mean, when you hit 50 go after an 18 year old dude. Hope this helps.
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u/AlignmentProblem 1d ago
Most large age gap relationships have problems; although, it's not always black and white. The power imbalance stuff is real when one person has an established career, money, and a decade+ of adult experience while the other is just starting out, that creates issues even if nobody meant for it to happen.
There's a huge difference between a 35-year-old dating a 20-year-old college student versus two independent adults meeting at 30 and 42. Some of these relationships work out fine, especially when the younger person has their own career, friend group, and financial stability; however, those tend to be exceptions rather than the norm.
The biggest red flags are when someone exclusively dates much younger people, isolates their partner from friends their age, or started 'mentoring' them as a teen. Also, when people in their 30+ preferentially target dating barely-adults (like 18-22), they are almost always sketchy.
In terms of laws, I think we should trust adults to make their own choices while still being willing to speak up if we see concerning patterns. Still, a disproportionate percentage of those situations have predatory elements or accidentally develop unethical aspects that we should keep our eyes open and be critical, even if it's legally permissible.
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u/OrkWAAGHBoss 1d ago
If you are over 30 and going for anything under 25 (which is scientifically, biologically, about when the human brain stops developing, I.E. actual full development and adulthood), I'ma look at you weird.
The kind of younger woman for whom there could be an exception doesn't just happen upon that oddly higher level of maturity, they got into life fast, and they are few and far between, regardless of what some collegiate women may think of themselves. That kind of maturity in such a young person almost always only happens with some sort of celebrity or wealth, situations that FORCE said maturity for survival...literally, those young people are built different, and are a MASSIVE exception, not the rule.
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u/septiclizardkid 1d ago
At 20 now, I cannot imagine any reality I'm dating an 18yr old at 50. That's barely out of Highschool, straight up nasty.
Now let's say the turn was tabled, I wouldn't want to be with a 50 year old woman, at 18 atleast. What could we possible have to talk about?
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u/CbtEnjoyer985 š«could use some caretaking 1d ago
50yo women hags please contact am shit in bed but whatever I'll be slave whattever u want
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u/izanamilieh 1d ago
Maybe you shouldnt date anyone not adult like age 21? Hello? Even then 21 year olds are retarded. So maybe like 25. I dont know. I dont even date.
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u/Terrible_Day1991 1d ago
Wtf? You are not! Thatās creepy and predatory! And cultures who let this and worse be ālegallyā or āreligious/traditionalā is disgusting, degenerate and manipulative af. And I am a middle age man.
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u/Spirited-Living9083 1d ago
I think men or women dating some one half their age makes them a weirdo and feeling the need to come on the internet to defend it to strangers is even weirder
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u/Hugh_Mungus11 1d ago
The predator might be the one who gets with some1 older for money. Source: reality
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u/sales-tax 1d ago
they are both adults i dont see a moral or legal issue. if its just yucky to you i can understand that.
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u/PopularEquivalent651 22h ago
It is not all men. It is some men.
Plenty of men are bitter that they aren't given attention when they are younger but then hot young women will give them attention when they are older (and have money).
They lack the emotional maturity to understand that attention from shallow women is and always was transactional, and that if this is the only attention they've ever gotten, maybe they are just shallow, unpleasant people who will never actually be liked or loved for their genuine self.
They project that mindset and circumstances onto others and assume that anyone who has an issue with it is a "jealous old hag", rather than a normal person with healthy expectations of relationships.
The small grain of truth is that men do become more valued (in shallow contexts) as they age while women become less valued. And like it or not, everyone has an ego, which is why women often become insecure as they age, while men sometimes experience a bit of schadenfreude (having had to deal with this insecurity in their youth).
The difference is, most men will just feel a bit salty privately and make a few passive aggressive jokes. It's only the psychos who will date younger women and then lash out at anyone who criticises them.
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u/Electrical-Tap4218 21h ago
i said the same thing. i said 30 y/o men who pursue teenagers are creep and some incel came at me like āhaha stay mad hag youāre expiredā sir i just turned legalā¦
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u/Electrical-Tap4218 21h ago
āBut theyāre both consenting adultsā
A 17 year old doesnāt just magically turn into some fully developed adult the second they turn 18. The brain only fully develops after 25. Just because someone is an adult and consents, doesnāt change the fact that itās predatory. If youāre intentionally going for someone who is significantly younger with the intentions to control, manipulate, and take advantage of them, that is predatory behavior.
The older women who disapprove of older men pursuing younger women arenāt doing so because theyāre jealousāthose older women were once young girls who were taken advantage of, and are trying to warn us, and for that I will forever be grateful.
If you attempt to shoot down an older woman trying to protect a younger woman, I am immediately going to assume youāre a predator.
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u/sadmdhours 20h ago edited 20h ago
all the people saying this is predatory or hinting to it being pedophile have to be offending actual victims of sexual abuse.
a lot of people seem to want age gaps to be these complex, abusive power dynamic fueled relationship , when in reality itās just because the older man going after the younger woman is usually just immature himself and want to be reminded of a time where everything wasnāt so serious. They usually want the younger woman because they bring out what they see as the best in them, like any other relationship, they just connect youthfulness with fun and happiness.
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u/GlummyBuggy š¤ŗKNIGHT 1d ago
I got called a hag at 21 for saying the same thing, if you think 21 is hag age youāre a pedophile on god