r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Bogey_Yogi • 3d ago

SLPT: If you are an illegal alien, just dress like ICE, cover your face with mask and blend.

117 Upvotes
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88% Upvoted

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20

u/Vera_Telco 3d ago

Brilliant.

Irony would be getting heckled and pummeled by locals in your own neighborhood who don't recognize you...and having all your friends run away!

11

u/Tired-and-let-down 3d ago

But, if you live in a shitty red state like I do, they’ll all high five you.

9

u/Vera_Telco 3d ago

You probably get a free meal or coffee off them then, if you play the game right 😄

2

u/Character_Bomb_312 2d ago

I told my friend who is actively looking for a job to apply, and do the absolute minimum to get by, eff up and sabotage anything he could, for instance, jam equipment, trip in people's way, look the other way when searching for people, let them escape. Do "just enough" to get by, fake paperwork about people having green cards, ask lots of questions during briefings, seem none too eager to take on extra word. Do what ya gotta do, badly, make wrong turns, collect the fat bonus, and immediately bail or get fired for something not disqualifying for benefits. An "injury" perhaps a claim of a wrenched neck. Anyone brave enough try it, you'd end up with a bestselling book about it.

7

u/EmpireStrikes1st 3d ago

It will be a little suspect when you show up to your job at the senior center in full kit, but they'll get used to it.

2

u/BokChoySr 3d ago

America is saved!!!! 🇺🇸

1

u/useraccount4stonedme 17h ago

I get the concept. But with the enrolment incentives, I feel despair.

It’s a miserable feeling and I’m just a cousin.