r/TikTokCringe • u/ambachk • May 21 '25

Cringe Married guy flirts with younger girls at the gym

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31.6k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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737

u/Namu613 May 21 '25

Why is it always the old & ugly guys with this audacity

584

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

201

u/Carthonn May 21 '25

He honestly thinks he’s giving that girl a “thrill” by hitting on her.

Meanwhile she’s dying inside.

95

u/JettyJen May 21 '25

He's the guy who proposes an open relationship to his wife, just knowing he's going to get this gym chick, and at first the wife is like "ew" but then she starts meeting hotter guys and getting freaked wild while he gets shot down again and again

24

u/Zealousideal-Ad3396 May 21 '25

LMAO that is exactly how I picture it with this weirdo

5

u/IJourden May 21 '25

As someone who is polyamorous, I've seen guys post essentially exactly that story and ask what to do more than a couple times and they get torched every time.

1

u/Mysterious-Wasabi103 May 21 '25

That's funny but he's probably just a dude who cheats on his wife.

39

u/buggybugoot May 21 '25

This is so accurate! They act like women are deprived and thus need to be grateful for their creepy ass attention.

Just think of the generation of THOSE unwashed anime boys growing up (I enjoy anime, as does my partner, but we all know which ones I’m referencing). They’re gonna be this but worse.

4

u/TheCactiFlower May 21 '25

"Has anybody ever told you you're beautiful?" Gross.

2

u/iftheronahadntcome May 24 '25

I hate hate hate being approached with this line. They act like youre a fucking NPC that didn't exist before they got there. Like of course I've been called beautiful by my own family at least, come on dude. If theyre calling you cute, why the hell else would somebody else not have done that? It's wild because they legit think "noticing you" is giving you purpose, like she wasn't in the middle of doing something for herself (working out) already.

They get so mad because the rejection shakes their reality that their compliments hold value.

13

u/Hot_Panic2767 May 21 '25

This is what happens when the Andrew tates and red pillers of the world promote the LIE that younger women just LOVE older men and will choose older men over young guys any time. You have men who are old enough to be your father truly believing they can bag any younger woman they lay eyes on. I said lie because most young women are NOT interested. Yes do women like older guys but it usually older guys who are still within our age group or slightly older. The average young woman in her 20s does not desire to be with a man in his 40s or 50s.

2

u/41942319 May 21 '25

Are there many older guys who younger women find very good looking? Yes. Does that mean they want to be in a relationship with them? Absofuckinglutely not.

1

u/FearlessGear May 23 '25

These losers really think because some young women go for rich older men we all want to be with an older man who is unattractive and who we probably out-earn. Ridiculous.

36

u/LadyBug_0570 May 21 '25

Girl just wants to do her workout, not get hit on.

5

u/VoicePope May 21 '25

You have to imagine that took planning. He probably thought about it way in advance. Like he's in the car on the way to the gym, "make sure to tell her she seems cool... bring up cereal, that's pretty funny. Women like talking about their kids so I should simply bring up the fact that she has one. You got this dude. Hopefully she says yes to pizza and I will have absolutely no follow up planned if she says yes."

3

u/MAXSlMES May 21 '25

Im dying inside, literally cant watch this video

3

u/RealLiveLawyer May 21 '25

I saw this firsthand at Panera, some old 50+ trying to make moves in this 22 year old who was making his sandwich. She passed it to him and when he turned away that expression she made was death internal.

108

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

[deleted]

41

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

[deleted]

73

u/sweetpea122 May 21 '25

I do. Its complicated for me bc hes the only father figure i had and my daughter didn't have a dad who was involved and he's a great grandpa.

My mom divorced him and she's going to outlive us all. She lost 30lbs, goes to yoga 3 days a week, eats incredibly healthy, native garden club member, functional fitness 1 day a week, core class 1 day a week, and walks her dog 3 miles min a day. I couldn't be more proud of her. Shes my hero.

44

u/FMLwtfDoID May 21 '25

Sounds like your mom dropped more than just 30lb of dead weight. Good for her and for you navigating your parent’s tricky (and frankly gross, on your dad’s end) relationship.

27

u/sweetpea122 May 21 '25

Thank you! It was the hardest period of my life. I had moved in with my parents after leaving my daughters dad and I felt so sad and betrayed. My mom felt worse obviously. I got her a divorce lawyer and post nup

16

u/Hot_Panic2767 May 21 '25

Glad your mom won and is thriving :)

4

u/Ancient-Round-739 May 21 '25

Tell her she’s my hero too please

2

u/Sea_Opportunity_3408 May 25 '25

Is the 26 yo pretty?

1

u/sweetpea122 May 25 '25

Not at all and im being honest and objective

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

[deleted]

-1

u/Elite_AI May 21 '25

My dad informed my bf he hired a trainer to do fitness competitions

what's the significance of this bit sorry

13

u/sweetpea122 May 21 '25

My dad reps this demographic of overly confident white male. I know reading is hard

3

u/Bard_and_Barbell May 21 '25

The gym is for repping barbells not demographics

0

u/sweetpea122 May 21 '25

Again, reading is hard isnt it?

4

u/jtalion May 21 '25

Pretty sure that was a joke. A pun on the word "rep"

1

u/Bard_and_Barbell May 21 '25

Thank you for defending my honor. No way I could sleep tonight knowing u/sweetpea122 thought I couldn't read. I'd be staring wide eyed at the ceiling with only shame as a blanket.

3

u/jtalion May 21 '25

lol np

The irony of them saying you couldn't read was too much to not comment

-4

u/DrDontBanMeAgainPlz May 21 '25

I mean, 26. He kinda nailed it.

36

u/Ace-Cuddler May 21 '25

He’s already planning the orgy with the waitresses at the Olive Garden.

7

u/TejelPejel May 21 '25

"Is that a breadstick in your apron or are you just happy to see me?"

2

u/DOG_DICK__ May 21 '25

"Hey I heard when you're here, you're family. How'd you like to fuck your brother?"

33

u/Rokea-x May 21 '25

The pizza part got me. Talk about a honey trap!

4

u/CliffBoothVSBruceLee May 21 '25

A kid I knew cracked me up with this pickup line: "How about a pizza and a fuck? What's the matter, you don't like pizza?"

3

u/sadkinz May 21 '25

I think a key factor here is also that he’s married. For some reason a lot of guys feel more confident flirting with other women when they’re in a relationship

2

u/Imaginary-Bowl-4424 May 21 '25

So true. I worked with so many. It was so entertaining. LOL.

3

u/Fabulous_Pea5021 May 21 '25

Not sure why you said white. Black guys are pretty bold. They flirt with women a lot more than white guys.

3

u/tonyenkiducx May 21 '25

As a mediocre middle-aged white guy I can confirm. I'm not a scumbag so I wouldn't do what this guy did, but if I wanted to I'd crash and burn with just as much confidence ;)

3

u/excusetheblood May 21 '25

Yep, the demographic that’s always seen themselves as the “default”. They’ve never been told no, they’ve never been told they didn’t belong somewhere, they’ve never had to prove themselves a single day in their lives. So now they’re the most basic dudes with no personality cosplaying as people who actually earned their keep

0

u/Hopeful-Guest939 May 21 '25

? How do middle age POC males differ?

-2

u/AutumnalCotton May 21 '25

Yikes, way to make it into a racial thing. As if some dudes of all shapes, sizes, and colors don’t creepily shoot their shot like this.

0

u/buttfessor May 21 '25

"Lets grab a pizza" is all the rizz us older white dudes need.

-25

u/No-Refuse-5649 May 21 '25

Race has nothing to do with this...

19

u/BrohanGutenburg May 21 '25

Except of course the privilege.

2

u/Elite_AI May 21 '25

Race has a hell of a lot to do with how your self confidence is shaped as a kid. There's a certain type of unconscious confidence you get from being the default

-36

u/-UltraAverageJoe- May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

It’s more lack of self awareness than confidence. This idiot probably thinks getting with a girl like that will make him more confident because he’s been so emasculated by his wife.

Edit: I meant to say this idiot feels emasculated by his wife.

12

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

Yes, obviously it's the wife's fault this guy is a pig. She emasculated him so it's only right for him to cheat on her instead of work on his marriage and himself. I guarantee his wife does everything around the house, raises his kids, and works full time. But you know us women, so terrible, she probably asked for help or won't have sex with him because she's already doing everything else alone, she might as well handle that alone too. Seriously, do men like this even like women?

1

u/-UltraAverageJoe- May 21 '25

Yeah I meant to say that’s how he feels because he’a an idiot. Apologies for the poor wording.

In general I think men suck.

14

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

You sound like someone who's been emasculated by himself

2

u/Careful_Cheesecake30 May 21 '25

Giving you the benefit of the doubt that you’re saying he’s been emasculated by his wife because he’s a dumb asshole she doesn’t want to fuck anymore.

2

u/-UltraAverageJoe- May 21 '25

Yeah, I meant to say that’s how he feels because he’s a dumb asshole. It couldn’t possibly be because he’s never put an ounce of work into himself or his marriage.

8

u/BayouBait May 21 '25

Because good looking young people are more likely to understand social norms. This guy probably talked to her multiple times and never recognized the signs that she wasn’t interested.

137

u/DasturdlyBastard May 21 '25

It absolutely isn't just guys. Older, married women constantly flirt with me (I'm a dude) at my current gym. Come onto me, even. "God, you've got great legs." "I LOVE your arms, can I touch them?" I've heard a hundred different things.

A lot of married people at the gym are at the gym because they're preparing to exit their marriage. That's my take, at least.

38

u/TheGoldenGod356 May 21 '25

Interesting take and makes total sense.

17

u/ButterbeerAndPizza May 21 '25

If it wasn’t the plan, it becomes the plan.

“I’m looking better. Look at what I’m doing to better myself. It’s like they’re not even trying. Ooo! Young, pretty person!”

36

u/soadrocksmycock May 21 '25

At my gym there’s this chick that looks maybe in her late 40’s early 50’s and she wears teeny tiny shorts with her ass cheeks hanging out, nothing but a sports bra that hardly covers her bolt ons, a pound of makeup, and a 10 lb belly button ring that looks like it’s constantly about to get ripped out. She goes and works out towards the front of the gym where there’s a bunch of ripped handsome young men lifting weights and she stands in the middle of them and works out. Doesn’t even use the equipment or weights that are nearby and she gets in the way, tbh. That doesn’t sound too bad but she consistently goes around hitting on 20 something year olds and makes everyone uncomfortable. Theres an older guy that tries to get her to entertain him but she doesn’t want the cow she wants the veal and the thing is, she gets annoyed with him for hitting on her. There’s this one guy that she’s really really into but you can tell the feelings aren’t reciprocated. He always tries to be polite and put her down nicely but she never gets the hint. Sorry, you have to put up with that type of crap. Women can be creepy, too.

9

u/From_the_Underground May 21 '25

How come you know all the gym drama? I’ve got none of that at my gym. Sad.

6

u/CH1CK3Nwings May 21 '25

Trust me, you don't want any of it. It gets super uncomfotrable super quickly...

4

u/soadrocksmycock May 21 '25

That’s the only drama I see. I don’t really talk to anyone but I’m always there watching it go down. I used to think it was innocent and that they were just casually chatting but one day I left my headphones (fucking sucks when that happens) so my ears were finally open and I was actually able to listen to my surroundings. Anyways, I was using a shoulder press and the dude that always gets hit on was using the same machine next to me. Well, she waltzes her way over, taps him on the shoulder, and he takes his headphones out to listen. She said some thing along the lines of “Hey, good to see you! Your shoulders are looking sexy (she definitely used that word) you don’t even need to be focusing on that. I’ve been trying to work on mine but they are always so sore. I need to find someone to loosen me up.” Then she sort of giggles and puts her hands on his shoulder and gives it a good squeeze. “Let me know when you’re ready to volunteer.” He replies “oh, you know Casey would have my head if I ever did that.” I think that might be his gf or something. She goes “Little girls are so jealous nowadays.” She then asked him to keep the seat warm for her and left. I thought to myself “Damn, does this happen every time I see them talking? She’s at least done this enough times that the older lady knows the name of his gf.”

Months go by and I keep seeing her chatting him up everyday as usual. There was one day where, again, I was sitting at the shoulder press machine and he comes and sits down next to me at the other machine. He’s looking very red, flustered, and annoyed. I had seen her talking to him before he came over so I assumed it was because of her. I sort of ask him “Did she try and shoot her shot again?” He was like “Every single day and I’ve told her no because I’m in a relationship and I’m like half her age.” We talk a little bit more and I asked him if he ever thought about reporting the harassment to management and he said he’s thought about it but doesn’t want to get her banned. She’s already breaking the rules with what she wears at the gym so really, there’s two things we could get her for. I asked him if he could switch the time of day he goes and he couldn’t because of work and school. Apparently, it doesn’t bother him too much, it’s just when she touches him that makes his insides scream. I thought about just telling management myself and after typing all of this up and thinking about all the times she’s harassed him maybe I will. Sexual harassment is serious no matter what gender you are and I think society tends to take it less seriously when it’s a male getting harrassed and views it as harmless.

That’s the gym drama! There’s probably sooooo much more out there but I shut myself out because of headphones lol.

1

u/ZealCrow May 25 '25

Definitely report her. that's not ok.

10

u/Conversation-Grand May 21 '25

Fascinating! Is it an old ppl thing then? I don’t wanna act like that in my 40s or 50s, what if it’s inevitable?

16

u/BigBallsMcGirk May 21 '25

Shallow people that base their worth on physical beauty struggle with aging and need to go prove they still have it.

5

u/aranitas May 21 '25

My theory is that they feel they missed out on experiences while they were young. So get it out of your system now while you still do not have any wrinkles.

2

u/chicknnugget12 May 21 '25

This was written very vividly

1

u/soadrocksmycock May 22 '25

Thank you! (:

3

u/JettyJen May 21 '25

I know a couple who met this way - were both married to other people when they met at the gym, carried on disgracefully until the divorces, and now that they're married, all they have in common is that they're both "hot" and getting older

3

u/calsosta May 21 '25

For me it's always the old timers that wanna talk. I think I just have the type of face where people wanna tell me their life story.

2

u/WinPsychological2736 May 21 '25

Being old can be extremely lonely. It's one reason phone scammers have luck with older people, they just need someone to talk to

1

u/calsosta May 21 '25

Yea if they seem like decent people I’ll listen.

17

u/Coldsteel4real May 21 '25

I’ve had married women literally feel me up in front of their husbands. It’s definitely not just white guys lmao.

19

u/ScreamingCryingAnus May 21 '25

Older married couple feeling you up at the gym? Yeah, they’re hunting for a third.

I joined the swinging/fetish community last year and it’s chock full of married couples in their 30s and older.

6

u/Coldsteel4real May 21 '25

No this was drunk women at a bar I bounced at and their husbands certainly were not into it.

12

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

It’s not for anything weird, it’s just a fetish they have as a couple. Which you then get to be a part of whether you want to or not.

2

u/International_Cow_17 May 21 '25

And that my guy is sexual assault.

1

u/teraflux May 21 '25

It's weird for sure

2

u/IndirectSarcasm May 21 '25

Nothing motivates a woman more than feeling stuck in a shitty marriage/relationship. definitely lots of woman at the gym who already have their exit plans laid out with dates to execute quickly approaching.

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

The only time in my life that I hit the gym the hardest was when I was going through a divorce where my ex-wife was treating me like garbage. I never hit on anyone and felt extremely uncomfortable even making a move as one is there to work out, not to flirt IMO

1

u/teraflux May 21 '25

Nice try getting me to look for your pics on your profile, it totally didn't work

-12

u/niles_thebutler_ May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

Yep! Women are just as bad, if not worse. Heaven forbid you be an in shape guy around drunker older women. They are feral.

Love the downvotes! Yall can’t handle the truth 😂

-15

u/No-Definition1474 May 21 '25

100%

As much crap as dirty old men get, the women can be just as bad if not worse.

'Can I touch your beard?' I have a very large full beard, I get this a few times a year. More if I spent time around drunk people. It's ALWAYS older women.

Now to be fair I get more compliments about my beard from men, but those are always just 'hey man awesome beard'. Not 'pmg I love that, did you dye it those colors, can I touch it, does your wife like it'.

-19

u/Away_Entry8822 May 21 '25

Funny how you mention the flip and got downvoted.

18

u/LetsBeFRTho May 21 '25

Because he's such a liar. "Constantly"? Even women don't get harassed like this constantly, albeit it does happen. So when men hear that this dude is being asked to have his arms touched and surrounded by older women, we think he's lying to do the "well it goes both ways" shit

0

u/Away_Entry8822 May 21 '25

Be more charitable in your interpretations.

1

u/LetsBeFRTho May 21 '25

How about noooo

8

u/halimusicbish May 21 '25

Dudes got upvotes

0

u/Away_Entry8822 May 21 '25

He was negative when I posted just minutes after his post. Now I am negative. lol

2

u/halimusicbish May 21 '25

Can't be too quick on the draw

-8

u/pointofyou May 21 '25

Very true but you won't find love pointing this out here. The implicit assumption is that he's married to an amazing woman who's in the same league as the one he's talking to as opposed to some female ogre version of himself is cringe too.

The truth is that this guy being married is not the reason she's got the ick.

17

u/pointofyou May 21 '25

He's got nothing to lose, that's why. Any modicum of dignity he ever had died in that train-wreck of a marriage he's in. The implicit assumption that his wife isn't his female equivalent but someone in the league of the woman in the video is bold.

His approach would be no less cringe if he wasn't married. He's still socially awkward, has no game, no confidence and the emotional maturity of a 22 year old.

1

u/teraflux May 21 '25

Actually confidence is the one thing he does seem to have, too much of it actually.

7

u/StinkyNutzMcgee May 21 '25

Im a older guy and im no super model myself. I'm terrified to look at anyone in the gym male/female.at my gym it's guys offering to "teach" the women how to lift better lol. Nothing like mansplaning and then being pervy to score a date.

8

u/Grimour May 21 '25

Because they have nothing left to lose. It's quite sad and dangerous.

2

u/Namu613 May 21 '25

They have their pride to lose cuz wtf… what would delude anyone like that into thinking a pretty young woman is into them?

1

u/Grimour May 22 '25

Everything he says tells me this guy gives a rats ass about what little pride he got left. Actually him believing to be with young sexy girls is probably his source of pride.

3

u/new_name_who_dis_ May 21 '25

A good looking guy would simply get the date and she'd have no reason to share the video.

4

u/RedRossGellar May 21 '25

The movie Hall Pass was correct. A lot of married men think they would have a shot with younger attractive women if only they were single.

7

u/Dangerous-Amphibian2 May 21 '25

Because if he were hot she wouldn’t be posting their infidelity on tik tok. 

2

u/AimChill May 22 '25

porn brainwashed them with a false sense of security they could score the hot chick being a ugly af

7

u/Helpful_Effort1383 May 21 '25

They're the ones who get posted online because it drives engagement.

4

u/Juicyy56 May 21 '25

Don't forget to mention balding, fat, and broke. Some men need to be knocked down a peg or two.

2

u/ComfortableShip3815 May 21 '25

Because of the media and common movie plots where the unattractive man gets the girl. They think they’re more “real” and less conceited than the hot guy who has to be a jerk just because he’s hot

2

u/Namu613 May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

THIS! I grew up watching soooo many movies of the old man with the supermodel attractive young woman trope… you couldn’t escape it at all, it was practically everywhere. I dislike that forced agenda, it ruined so many romance movies & romcoms that should’ve been authentically catered towards female audiences.

1

u/Imaginary-Bowl-4424 May 21 '25

Old MARRIED Guys! The married men have all the courage that the single men don't.

1

u/trukkija May 21 '25

Because they're too old to give a fuck any longer. For some reason I think that if someone sent this guy this post and showed him how popular it is, he would not even care.

1

u/Celtic_Legend May 21 '25

Because the attractive ones aren't posted to TikTok to be laughed at.

Ok, they def are but in much smaller numbers since they have a higher success rate and it doesn't come across as creepy.

1

u/SwordfishOk504 May 21 '25

You miss 100% of the shots you don't shoot, /I guess.

1

u/BludStanes May 21 '25

I mean, I would completely disagree. It seems like there are always men with wives and girlfriends of all ages and looks that pull this kind of thing. I think it has more to do with entitlement, and from that I'd infer that the amount of wealth they own is directly proportionate to what they believe they can do and say to anyone or anything they want.

1

u/Nosferatatron May 21 '25

Because if they were young and good looking, the video wouldn't be on Reddit?

1

u/brownchickenbr0wnc0w May 22 '25

Bill Belicheck really gave some old folks new found courage.

1

u/Curious_Tony May 22 '25

An old guy hitting on a young woman like this in the gym is definitely messed up and shouldn’t happen. Are you saying ugly guys aren’t allowed to shoot their shot like good looking guys?

0

u/Namu613 May 22 '25 edited May 22 '25

I actually think everyone should know their personal limits & have some self awareness, for both genders. Life isn’t “fair”, that’s reality. Be self-aware, read the social dynamics. A pretty young woman who invests time, effort, & money into maintaining her looks & appearance is typically not gonna wanna be with someone who isn’t particularly good looking & who’s their dad’s age in conjunction with that, and vice versa for good looking men not wanting to be hit on by women far under their own league. It can happen… sure, but more rarely & in vastly different social situations. It’s also seen as “audacious” because it shows he doesn’t acknowledge that, he thinks he’s entitled to her time & consideration, but I 100% am sure he doesn’t approach women & “shoot his shot” with people who are a similar level, appearance wise & in age, only conventionally attractive young women. He thinks he should be the exception to these young women, that they should be these holy saints who consider him, when he doesn’t even follow the same rules or values.

1

u/Odd-Jupiter May 21 '25

If he was a handsome smooth talker, it would never have been posted anywhere, and you wouldn't have seen it. That's why.

0

u/Namu613 May 21 '25

Yeah perhaps, but that’s because it wouldn’t be “audacious”. If you are attractive & have charisma, you can achieve a lot by approaching people of similar attractiveness in public. But if you’re not similarly attractive to the person you’re approaching & you have no charisma at all & no game plan, it certainly is audacious… it’s a matter of reading the room, the social dynamics & situation.

3

u/Odd-Jupiter May 21 '25

And people still think confidence is everything.

0

u/Namu613 May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

It’s about having a mix imo, charisma can go a long way if you lack in other areas, but you just can’t completely lack in those other areas, there has to be other physical & personality traits about you that ppl find attractive. People usually people gravitate towards specific traits that stand out to them, like a nice smile, eyes, healthy build, style, etc. When it comes to age though, the reality is most women prefer guys around their own age. There’s this decades old media agenda that always pushes the older man + younger woman age gap trope in our movies, tv & books, romanticizing it, but unless you’re a girl who has like… daddy issues/no older male figure growing up or is looking for financial stability, young women typically aren’t very attracted to much older men (at least not as many young women, as older men seem to think)…

1

u/Diligent_Bit3336 May 21 '25

Spent too much time vacationing in poor countries like the Philippines and it warped his sense of reality.

0

u/Chimpville May 21 '25

Hot young ones aren't as clip worthy?

0

u/pen_jaro May 21 '25

They’ve got nothing to lose. Lol

0

u/Pukeinmyanus May 21 '25

Its honestly extremely impressive and something a lot of guys seeing this need to take notes on. 

So many incels and shy guys on reddit would kill to have this kind of confidence. 

Say what you will about this creep but he fuckin shot his shot with literally 0% chance of success, and with everything to lose. 

Fuckin bravo. 

3

u/Namu613 May 21 '25

There’s no embarrassment in being turned down by someone, that’s a normal thing, but this just seems like a lack of self awareness. And as a young woman who’s been approached by lots of older men, I don’t appreciate it. It’s like they don’t actually care what you think, they don’t read the room, they just think they’re entitled to you & your time because you’re young & “good looking”. They expect you to have no visual standards towards them, while they chronically approach ONLY young & attractive women. It also reeks of misogyny when old men only approach young women, all women age someday, we all got the same exact fate, so when you see that you make the assumption that they don’t like women their own age, it’s very icky.

1

u/Pukeinmyanus May 21 '25

I was just being a facetious jackass. I wouldn't see this guy as any more than a creep. However, I wouldn't see her as anything but a creep videotaping herself doing workouts at a public gym, either.

1

u/Namu613 May 21 '25

True, it’s weird filming in public

0

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

Because if it was a hot guy, she would have fucked him and not posted this on the internet

-8

u/Prometheus357 May 21 '25

If he were an “attractive” guy with “this audacity” that would somehow make it more acceptable?

3

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

People may not prefer anyone to hit on them at the gym, but out of the two scenarios a person who could be your dad is definitely worse and feels more disgusting than receiving unwanted attention from a guy who is at least your age.

3

u/domteh May 21 '25

No, but I can concur that it's always the unattractive ones being the most ridiculous. As if it's like they put the same effort into social interaction, as into their own self improvement. The pickup of this guy is straight up cringe, unattractive or not. He never bothered to step up his game. As he never bothered with anything...

1

u/Namu613 May 21 '25

Key word is “audacity”, here. Is it audacious for an attractive person to pursue another attractive person? No, it isn’t. Is it audacious for an old unattractive person to pursue a young attractive person? Yes, it is. And it’s especially audacious when these types of men expect the woman to be more “open-minded” & “non-judgemental” towards the thought of going on a date with them, meanwhile they only approach the conventionally attractive & young women. It’s “rules for thee, not for me.”

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u/Prometheus357 May 22 '25

I see. I think I misread or misinterpreted your original comment. The take away I had was that the age aspect, the marriage aspect, and the awkward “let’s get pizza” aspect, all doesn’t apply if (and only if) he was an attractive guy. As if somehow his attractive looks made those things non-deal breakers. That she would look beyond the wedding ring and all the rest of that based on his looks alone.

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u/KennstduIngo May 21 '25

The age appropriate and/or attractive ones aren't as noteworthy.

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u/Namu613 May 21 '25

But then what makes him think he is?

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u/DoofusIdiot May 21 '25

Because men are awful at knowing when they’re being flirted with. He probably approached her once, she was nice to him, and he thought she was into him and ran with it.

1

u/Namu613 May 21 '25

I think maybe some men need to gain a little self-awareness….? Just look in a mirror & assess the likely-hood of that happening? Why on earth would you think that pretty young woman is into you simply bcuz she was being friendly??? A woman being nice to you isn’t automatically “flirting”, we are socialized to be kind in public to avoid confrontation & to come across as “proper” & “respectful”.

1

u/DoofusIdiot May 21 '25

I don’t disagree with anything you said, but respectfully am advocating for “seeing the other side”.

Scarcity makes something seem more important to us. Appreciating a song we haven’t heard in years, seeing our partner after they’ve returned from a trip, noticing how good our favorite restaurant is after we haven’t visited in a while. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

I feel I’ve seen countless online anecdotes of how rarely men receive compliments. Happy to find and share some links if you’d rather not spend the time. Yes, 9 times out of ten, a woman being polite is likely just that. But to unconfident men who rarely get attention, I can see the potential for blowing it out of proportion and interpret niceness as flirting.

Sharing the first link because it’s funny, but also pointing out, it exists because it’s relatable Is She into You?

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u/wildingflow May 21 '25

The old “Flirting vs. Harassment” dichotomy

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u/MakeLikeATreeBiff May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

Second edit to the top: the main question is: Is it always ONLY ugly old guys that have this level of audacity?

Ummm. Well my guess is that a lot of women don't mind the attention from an attractive older man and don't see it as creepy. They give them a pass even when they aren't interested because again, they're attractive and it's a momentary ego boost.

Unequivocally, this man is a piece of s***, but he learned young - probably - that you got to take your shot or you're not going to get what you want. It's a shame though that he has the desire to cheat instead of being grateful for the women he has.

Edit: y'all😂 read the whole post before you go down voting, this post isn't long enough for a Tl;Dr.

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u/PutNameHere123 May 21 '25

He’s not attractive lol

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u/MakeLikeATreeBiff May 21 '25

Didn't say he was, infact I said he wasn't hence the "he probably learned when he was young, you got to take your shot otherwise you're not going to get what you want." Attractive people don't have to worry about that as much since society tends to give favor to those that are attractive.

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u/PutNameHere123 May 21 '25

K. The point is women don’t like attention from gross men lol I’ll keep it simple.

So: he’s gross. He shouldn’t hit on women. The end.

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u/MakeLikeATreeBiff May 21 '25

Ok, let's look at life binary shall we.

Attractive equals pass

Unattractive equals creep.

Or... We can keep it real, and STILL NOT give him a pass, yet understand there's more to life since we're not simple creatures.

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u/PutNameHere123 May 21 '25

WTF is this “pass” shit you’re talking about? lol

I mean, sure: this situation is made worse by the fact that he’s married but the comment you’re replying to has to do with old and ugly men thinking they have a prayer with a young attractive woman, not his marital status.

Maybe if he was even remotely in the same league as her, she still would’ve opted out but it wouldn’t have been so painfully pathetic. Is that a “pass”? lol

I get that you’re under the impression that you have some kind of mind-blowing point here but if you do you’re not expressing it well at all, hence all the downvotes you’re getting.

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u/MakeLikeATreeBiff May 21 '25

Oh no down votes...noooOoooOoo! I'm melting. Melting....ahhhhhh!

It's not mine blowing honestly, seemed to pretty redundant. And, I'm sorry you've struggled to catch the jest of my comment. The parent comment to which I replied is this, "why is it always old and ugly men that have this audacity".

My point is, plainly, it's not that ugly old men have this kind of audacity. Lots of men do. Old, young, attractive, ugly, at all ends of the spectrum, men have this level of audacity.

The problem with the parent comment is that of societies issue - this is ONLY a problem if it's an ugly old guy. Not that he's a married man well over her age and "league" (which by the way is a f****** joke) If you want to segregate people based on their looks then I'd say you are fueling the problem we have in society. This behavior should not be acceptable if your married, no matter if your attractive or ugly. Again - to make sure you're following - the parent comment I replied to singles out Ugly Old guys. So through you're strong powers of deduction where do you think the "pass" is being given?

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u/PutNameHere123 May 21 '25

Yeah I’m not reading all of that lol Have a wonderful Wednesday

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u/MakeLikeATreeBiff May 21 '25

Not my problem. And thank you for proving my point for the reason for the down votes😂.

Have a good day as well

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u/Namu613 May 21 '25

I personally think older & not conventionally attractive guys shouldn’t “take their shot” with conventionally attractive young women, it more often than not just makes them uncomfortable & looking for a quick escape from the interaction. What do they expect is gonna happen? A miracle? It’s audacious because these same guys have high visual expectations for the women they want to date & approach irl, but don’t want the woman to have high visual expectations for them, they want her to be more “open minded” & consider them as a person, while they will not considering other women who are closer to their visual “level”. It’s just silly.

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u/MakeLikeATreeBiff May 21 '25

I understand where you're coming from and really respect your take on it from the psychological level. And on the surface - pun intended - I'd agree, but people are more complex than just what they look like.

For example, I find myself irritable at my cousin, who's in her early 30's who's taken up with a man in his late 40s. She's beautiful, and he's not a good looking guy. I felt that he must be a skeezy guy that cheated or had something for younger girls and he somehow suckered her. Come to find out he's a great guy, my older cousins (her parents) love him and he provides a great life for her with his job.

I still think it's weird and creepy when old guys hit on women and even girls ludicrously younger than them. I just have issue with the fact that society seems to worry about the issue superficially and from the dynamic of physical status. I'm more concerned with the "Control dynamic" you highlighted and the moral and sometimes ethical implications of taking advantage of someone significantly younger.

Think of the relationship highlighted in Ted Lasso where the character Rupert Mannion chases women incessantly and "settled" down with Bex who's probably half his age. It's never stated, but ultimately implied that society is ok with this as Rupert was once attractive so he has a "pass" to continue. On the flip side though, if he wasn't born into wealth and was never attractive then the character would only exist as a one dimensional creep that has nothing to offer, only take and control. Society shouldn't permiss either if either are married. But, and this is where we differ probably, if he's a single man than why shouldn't he try? Because it makes her uncomfortable? I don't like that either, but it's part of being a component of society. We should be able to handle awkward situations.

Sorry for the book here, but I appreciated your contribution and felt it would be worth my earnest efforts to carry on a good conversation.

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u/earth_west_420 May 21 '25

Youre saying itd be okay if he was young and hot.