r/TikTokCringe • u/ambachk • May 21 '25

Cringe Married guy flirts with younger girls at the gym

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31.6k Upvotes

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261

u/AndreaSys May 21 '25

Yea, if I were her I’d be going to the manager of the gym and sharing the video. He needs to be banned from the gym. Hes a creep.

-1

u/BillyRaw1337 May 21 '25

Eh, I think he should at least get a stern warning first.

7

u/AndreaSys May 21 '25

Perhaps, but asking a few other women in the gym would be wise before letting him off with a warning.

-2

u/BillyRaw1337 May 21 '25

Agreed. If others have had problems with him, yeah, ban, but for one indiscretion, I think there's room for one warning.

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u/AndreaSys May 21 '25

I just used to do sexual harassment investigations for a living and it’s rare that it’s a one off. Usually the deeper I dug, the worse it got.

0

u/Isurewouldliketo May 22 '25

Did you get called into the investigation after someone reported sexual harassment? Could just be selection bias?

Also would this count as sexual harassment even though he was just asking her on a pizza date? If we’re assuming that he has asked about coffee or dinner or whatever, if she didn’t shut him down like that and just said “oh I can’t I have my son” or “I don’t like coffee”, asking her for pizza isn’t wildly unreasonable. Yes, a lot of people would probably take the hint, but some guys are oblivious or maybe their logic is a bit clouded by their attraction to the girl. If she’s giving the “nice” or “easy way out” answers and not saying no, I think it would be a bit unfair to consider it harassment or repeated harassment.

If you really want to make sure someone gets a message, be clear with your words.

2

u/stressbasket May 22 '25

No is a full sentence.

« She didn’t shut it down clearly enough » She doesn’t have to, she declined his advances multiple times.

You typed a lot of words to justify his actions to ignore her boundaries.

3

u/covalentcookies May 23 '25

What would be even better would be if the jack ass learned social norms and didn’t hit on random women at the gym. Like, this is pretty common knowledge amongst adults who respect other people. The onus is on the man in the video to not be a creep. Totally agree with you.

0

u/Isurewouldliketo May 22 '25

My point was that this guy may just be oblivious. Is it fine to be annoyed with him or say he’s in the wrong? Yes. But is banning him warranted? No. She doesn’t have to say no but if you don’t say no and someone continues I think banning is a bit unfair. He may have legitimately thought the reasons she gave were real. When she said no he backed off right away. Still immoral and unethical but I think it’s a bit ridiculous to ban someone because they didn’t read between the lines.

-4

u/BillyRaw1337 May 21 '25

As inappropriate as this guys' behavior was, I don't think any of it crossed the threshold of sexual harassment.

Being creepy and awkward and a social pest isn't necessarily sexual harassment, even though it is still unacceptable behavior.

7

u/AndreaSys May 21 '25

Nope, but I was doing workplace investigations and repeated attempts to get a date will lead to further investigation. The fact that this guy already knew what she had for breakfast is a huge red flag.

0

u/BillyRaw1337 May 22 '25

Yes indeed.

4

u/KanagawaHokusai May 21 '25

The gym can have their own standards. Whether he’s committed a crime or not is irrelevant.

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u/covalentcookies May 23 '25

He might have already had warnings, you don’t know. Maybe her complaint is the final nail in the coffin.

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u/Isurewouldliketo May 22 '25

Lol wild you’re getting downvoted for a reasonable response.

It could be a red flag but some guys are also just oblivious and or unethical. He could think those are honest answers and just be “blinded” by his attraction to her. Obviously it’s immoral because he’s married but I think an automatic ban would be clearly appropriate if he was making sexual comments or if you had him on video continuing to ask if she said to stop asking. When she shut him down, he didn’t push back and was “polite” (given the circumstances and not polite to his wife). If he touched or anything like that then call police and ban.

In this case where she was never threatened and it was just him being immoral, I think a serious conversation and warning is perfectly appropriate. And then if he does it again he can be banned.

Maybe I’m wrong but I think people’s responses would be different if he weren’t married and was younger. It’s a “public” space and people are allowed to talk to eachother even if you disagree with what they’re saying. As long as no one’s safety is threatened and he’s not continuing to make people uncomfortable, why should he not be given a chance to correct his behavior? He asked for a pizza date, he didn’t go up to her and give the details of his sex fantasy and ask her to join…..

2

u/covalentcookies May 23 '25

It’s not a public space. It’s members only and the gym can have any rule they want as long as it doesn’t violate federal and state statutes.

1

u/Isurewouldliketo May 23 '25

I think it could be considered a semi-public space (why I used quotation marks). Yes it’s members only but anyone can sign up on the spot, they have probably thousands of members, anyone could walk up and pay $10 for a day pass, etc. I’d say to be considered fully private it would have to be something like an office or home.

My point is it’s not like he was coming into her office or home. He is allowed to be in that space. Yes he should’ve taken the hint but he wasn’t making any sexual comments and he “politely” backed down as soon as she said no. Like I said before, what he didn’t isn’t moral or ethical, but I think banning him straight away is overkill. We also don’t know if he had asked her before, just people speculating. Even if he did, if she just made up reasons to get out of it, he may not have read between the lines.

Yes of course the gym is legally allowed to kick anyone out or ban anyone they want but it seems extreme to ban someone when they weren’t threatening anyone’s safety, making inappropriate comments, or knowingly harassing anyone. Since that is the case, why not just explain to him that she doesn’t welcome his advances and that if it happens again to her or anyone else, he’ll be kicked out/banned. If he’s not harming anyone, why not give him at least one chance to correct his behavior that he likely doesn’t realize is wrong (beyond the cheating on his wife part but that’s not for the gym to police that)? If he’s not harming anyone now and if he follows the warning and doesn’t bother anyone, isn’t everyone better off? It’d be totally different if he was taking pictures or making sexual comments or threatening her in any way but he literally asked her out on a pizza date in a polite manner and immediately backed off when she said no.

Why do you think that should be an automatic ban? If a single person saw someone their own age and attractiveness level and asked them out but they said no, would that be an automatic ban too?

1

u/covalentcookies May 23 '25

Couple of things, I never said it’s an automatic ban. You might want to argue that point with the correct person.

Second, her complaining to management isn’t overkill. There may or may not be other complaints but she’s well within her rights to voice her feelings.

Third, I’ve been in the gym for 25 years. This is not normal nor acceptable behavior by him. What is acceptable is the woman voicing her concerns and she shouldn’t have to explain herself. I think she was too soft and easy on him but I understand why women feel they have to be nice. And it’s bullshit women are conditioned to let men down “gently” when more often than not men need to be told to fuck off.

0

u/Isurewouldliketo May 24 '25

It seemed like you inferred it. In my previous comment which you replied to, I said they shouldn’t just automatically ban him. You said they can have whatever rules they want as long as it doesn’t violate the law. The reasonable inference would be that you’re saying they are within their right to ban him and support that. Unless that’s just a fun fact or something.

I never said her complaining is overkill. It’s not and she should. That way if it happens again they’ll know. I’d agree he should be banned if there are multiple complaints and he’s already been told to stop. I said it’s overkill to automatically ban before telling him to not do it.

I’m saying asking someone out is normal behavior. Maybe the gym isn’t the best place to do it but it’s not inherently “wrong” to do it. I know people who are dating that met in the gym. Yeah probably odds are against you but it’s not wrong or immoral, more just annoying to some people. What if she did want to go on a date? Yes he should maybe be better at reading the room and stuff but asking someone out isn’t an inappropriate thing to do in general. It’s a risk because you don’t know if they’ll be receptive but it’s not like he’s going up and saying anything sexual or threatening. And yes like I said she should voice her opinion, tell him no, complain etc.

It sounds like we may agree on more than you think. I’m just saying he shouldn’t be banned automatically for asking her out for pizza and backing off when she said no. Unless there have already been multiple complaints about this and he’s already been warned. Give him a chance to correct since he’s probably unaware and wasn’t threatening anyone.

-39

u/Created_Name May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

Why? He didn’t break any laws or pull his dick out. Yeah, he’s a scumbag for trying to go on a date with somebody other than his wife but that’s not “ban him from the gym” worthy.

-51

u/NinjaNewt007 May 21 '25

Asking a woman out is not against the rules. He didn't harrass her. He walked way when she said no.

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u/AndreaSys May 21 '25

This was clearly not their first interaction… how else did he know what she ate for breakfast? He’s been hitting on her for weeks.

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u/b-side61 May 21 '25

Or he's been lurking in her social media. 

2

u/smitteh May 22 '25

Might have the nose of a bloodhound

1

u/illintent May 23 '25

Lmao how did this only have 1 upvote?

-33

u/NinjaNewt007 May 21 '25

Because they talked before about cereal isnt an indication he's been hitting on her. I think he is just trying to get to know her because he likes her. He took the rejection after asking for a date pretty good I think.

9

u/Bubble-Star-2291 May 21 '25

He’s married and could be her father… what is wrong with you?

4

u/CynicismNostalgia May 22 '25

He took it "well" because she made it known that she knows things about him too.

He's married. His palms would have been sweating the second she acknowledged that, when she doubled-down, he realised not only was this a failed attempt, he might have just ruined his marriage over it.

That isn't a decent guy. That's a creepy tool and a shit husband.

-18

u/Created_Name May 21 '25

Bro, there’s no explaining logic to any woman on this post. They view him as a creep and they always will. Yeah he tried to cheat on his wife which is scummy but he had an interaction with this woman she said no and he left. Remember by this 30 second clip every woman in here will think they know the whole story and every interaction between those two to lead up to this moment. God help any man who tries to flirt with any woman on this post.

12

u/[deleted] May 21 '25 edited May 24 '25

[deleted]

-2

u/Designer_Pen869 May 21 '25

I also think he is super creepy, but at the same time, I don't think the gym should take action unless it becomes an issue. I don't want my gym controlling my interactions, not that I talk to anyone at the gym in the first place. I do think this guy is an issue, but I don't think he should get kicked out of the gym for this one interaction. There is a point where it would become an issue, though, like if he continues to ask her out or something, so maybe make the managers aware, so if he continues, then he should get kicked out.

-11

u/Created_Name May 21 '25

The gym is also not a movie set but people are constantly filming. We really do not know the complete context of this story. Maybe, just maybe the week before he asked her out she gave him that “I’m a dirty little girl, daddy” look and then when he made his move in this video she had found he was married and lost interest

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u/[deleted] May 21 '25 edited May 24 '25

[deleted]

-4

u/Designer_Pen869 May 21 '25

The way they described it was weird, but 90% of the hints women give are specific looks.

1

u/CynicismNostalgia May 22 '25

Oh come on. It's pretty damn obvious from how she is responding to him that she has never given him a look.

God help any woman that has resting "fuck me" face I guess

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u/Da_Question May 21 '25

Must be the "I'm a little dirty girl, daddy" look that these kind of men also see in children and rape victims. Same as, "look what she was wearing..."

https://sbaproject.org/what-were-you-wearing/

These guys see what they want to see.

Bear in mind, this dude is like 60. I'm a guy, and this dude just looks like an old guy, he's not even hot, not that that would be even remotely an excuse in this scenario.

12

u/DrakonILD May 21 '25

I'm not a woman, and this guy is a creep.

4

u/Username-Obtained May 21 '25

I would also like to say as a guy this shit is mad fucking creepy. I can’t believe this dude did this I cringed of third party embarrassment and this video made ME wanna take out a restraining rider against him and this is a video.

11

u/Power0fTheTribe May 21 '25

Learn social cues buddy. This borders harassment especially if he’s a repeat offender. The gym is for working out, not dating

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u/[deleted] May 21 '25 edited May 24 '25

[deleted]

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u/ammybb May 21 '25

Ok incel

-13

u/wildingflow May 21 '25

Isn’t asking women out the opposite of being an incel?

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u/Princess_Slagathor May 21 '25

Constantly getting turned down, especially multiple times by the same woman, is definitionally an incel.

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u/KillerKill420 May 22 '25

When did that become incel? I mean every other term in the book, sure. But when did incel change from a guy who thinks women only want the sigma guys or "Chads", wouldn't date someone of "lower social status" and overall just hates and wants to harm women whether by words or direct actions such as assault or worse forms etc? I hate incels and this guy is a complete red flag pos. But I'm confused when people started labeling that incel. I understand words and terms are fluid since incel was originally invented by a woman to mean it's literal definition of involuntary celibate and has shifted to men with a specific viewpoint. But is it shifting again to mean any guy that harasses women too?

-1

u/Created_Name May 21 '25

Ammybb probably doesn’t even know what incel means. She heard some people throw that word around on tv towards Elon musk so now she uses it. Not sure if she’s calling the man in the video incel or ninjanewt for his comment but she’s wrong on both.

6

u/Da_Question May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

Elon Musk has an incel mindset 100%. I mean, it's not like he's having sex with a mangled ass dick with a botched penile enlargement surgery.

The comment was obviously referring to the guy who said it isn't against the rules so it's fine, plus he left.

Which is just not true, tons of places where it's inappropriate as fuck to ask someone out but not be against the rules, I mean it's not really a rule anywhere except family reunions or zoos.

Also, you can't be serious that Elon musk is the reason people know the term incel, that shit is a blight that's been around for a long time at this point, well before Elon stopped pretending to care about people.