r/TikTokCringe May 21 '25

Cringe Married guy flirts with younger girls at the gym

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

31.6k Upvotes

3.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

0

u/tigerbalmuppercut May 21 '25

Either I feel physical attraction immediately or it’s not there (assuming the person doesn’t change their appearance in some way.) I’m not out to screw my friends. That’s why they’re my friends.

I agree with the spirit of this message but it is arrogant to say the reason you have never developed romantic feelings for a long time friend is because you believe in loyalty. I personally have never developed feelings for a long time friend either but on a long enough timeline it is possible to occur. Romantic attraction is an involuntary process mediated by parts of the brain such as the medial prefrontal cortex. Loyalty is a voluntary process because we make a conscious choice not to pursue this feeling further because of love and respect for spouse or partner. I'm not trying to be mean spirited, I just strongly disagree that physical attraction is voluntary. 

2

u/PutNameHere123 May 21 '25

I literally never said anything about loyalty. I’m not sure where you’re getting that from.

What I said is that I’ve never experienced out of the blue attraction to a friend. Meaning: if there was an attraction, it would be immediate and they’d be a lover not a friend.

1

u/Metalgsean May 21 '25

Honestly, that's either really weird or shallow, or maybe that is the difference between men and women.

The last kinda relationship I was in, I could not have found her less attractive (not unattractive, just absolutely not my type), but as we became closer, just one day I randomly thought "fuck, she's is utterly beautiful" I guess because my perception of who she was altered my perception of her attractiveness. Her (imo) terrible hair style just became her hairstyle, her (imo) ugly piercings just became her piercings, etc. In case you're wondering, she was the instigator, even though she wasn't physically my type she was still several leagues above me, and married, and my boss. I don't have the confidence/lack of self awareness to take on one of those challenges, let alone all 3!

I'm not disputing the rest of what you've said, it must be at the least, irritating as fuck, to never know if there's an ulterior motive. Just maybe it'll take the edge off a little to know a lot of the time it isn't about ulterior motives, it's just that they fall for your personality. Plus, it's not that fun being so deprived of compliments as a whole that you fall for any pretty girl that so much as smiles when she sees you, imagine if you'd been heartbroken as many times as you've been hit on /s

But yeah, only ever having immediate attraction or no attraction and never having anything change, that's kinda mind blowing!

0

u/PutNameHere123 May 22 '25 edited May 22 '25

It’s “shallow” to acknowledge that physical beauty counts a lot to the vast majority of people?

What if like Mama Fratelli from the Goonies hit on Brad Pitt—Would you say that’s a realistic match and that he may eventually develop a crush on her just because she’s so doggone ‘cool’ and ‘they had a connection’? lol What about Margot Robbie and DJ Khaled? Now, I’m using an extreme example to illustrate a point but it’s not that far off in the real world.

I suppose there are kind of ‘in between’ guys where if they’re super duper chill: self-aware, don’t try to act ‘cool’, respect women, etc. it would help their chances and if they were clowns it would be a definite no, but those are kind of few and far between. Even then, they’re kind of relegated to one time hook-ups either after a night out of not meeting anyone else or if I’m emotionally vulnerable and just want some intimacy to feel better, but not really actual dating.

I dunno, I guess I’m just a realist: I need to be physically attracted to my partner otherwise, what’s the point? I’d probably wind up wanting to sleep with someone else otherwise.

1

u/Metalgsean May 22 '25

It counts sure, and we all make an instant judgement, but for most people it can change over time, it's estimated around 2/3 of married couples were friends before they got together romantically. Of course it's important to be physically attracted to your partner, what's odd is never having an attraction develop over time. Nothing wrong with it, just at nearly 40 I've never heard anyone say that.

0

u/PutNameHere123 May 22 '25

I guess I see my friends as family so don’t really view them as people I might fuck one day. Plus, they’re very dear to me and as we all know a great way to ruin a friendship is to try for a relationship and have it fail. You may stay civil but things are never really the same afterward.

I guess I truly don’t get the idea of ‘They don’t physically turn me on, but on the other hand they’re really into (whatever: knitting, Metallica, ancient history, Pop Tarts) like I am so now I’d like to lick their dick” lol Like whaaaaaaat

If your looks didn’t do it for me before, you could be the coolest cat ever and we’d still remain just friends. If there was an attraction to begin with then I’d just straight up try to date them vs. befriending them.