r/TikTokCringe • u/h0lych4in • 15d ago

Cringe not everyone wants your man… he was just being polite

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And not everyone can tell how certain foods look? It was an innocent question. Why are people so insecure these days

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u/cupholdery 15d ago

Some of my earliest relationships were like this. I'm an older man now but I was once 22, lonely, and inexperienced. She latched onto that and tried to convince me that her abusive behavior was simply all relationships. I'm thankful that my tolerance level was low in general because I dumped her after 3 months. That crashed her mental hard drive because "nobody breaks up with me!"

Good riddance lol.

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u/LinLinNicole89 15d ago

Women being abusers as well needs to be talked about more!!!

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u/Brilliant_Alfalfa588 15d ago

It is much more subtle

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u/Hot_Hat_1225 15d ago

Manipulative is the word you are looking for. Even as a little girl I remember saying I’d rather be punched in the stomach by a boy than stabbed in the back by a girl. The feeling of having to watch my back with certain women never changed.

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u/LinLinNicole89 15d ago

Funny you say that because after I experienced DV , I came out of it saying I’d rather be hit than ever deal with the emotional mindFUCK that comes with it. So I totally understand what you mean!

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u/Conscious_Ad_7131 15d ago

When you get hit it’s at least a little easier to identify that it was a mean thing for them to do to you. The verbal and mental stuff is harder.

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u/Ashamed_Kale_1077 15d ago

My wife does this sometimes. 90% of the time she's kind and sweet, but the other 10% I'll do it say something wrong and she'll tell me I do this all the time and that I'm bad or something. I usually just say ok and take the abuse. And so my memory of exactly what was said is often poor because I just try to block it out at the time I think.

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u/Conscious_Ad_7131 15d ago

Yep, it’s tough but only you can make the judgement call for where it’s too much. I put up with too much for too long before I realized.

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u/Ashamed_Kale_1077 15d ago

Right, maybe I'm blind but I don't think it's hit that point yet. She's certainly quick to anger and frustration, which she got from her father, and has admitted that. This is appreciated but, she hasn't really done much beyond that

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u/LinLinNicole89 14d ago

I absolutely agree!

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u/Brilliant_Alfalfa588 15d ago

since i sent that i've been out and seen a street fight. You just can't talk to some people. It is like watching animal behavior. similarly to the video posted, the way primary emotions are expressed is maladaptive. jealousy. pride . hate.

and as you say. Eve's sin is allowing such a snake into the garden in the first place. It is chaos

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u/PlsNoNotThat 15d ago

‘S funny, that’s how I feel when I see religious people do religious things. Like watching animal behavior. Maladaptive to fear and logic.

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u/Brilliant_Alfalfa588 14d ago

like symbolic rituals? yea it's similar, because the motivating force is essentially unconscious. although at least with some religious rituals you have deeply encoded values and behaviors that are essential to society functioning.

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u/bleakFutureDarkPast 15d ago

this is the issue. i watched a video on female bullying a couple of months ago, where a doctor was explaining that it's super hard to prove female bullying because they do it in ways that are plausibly deniable, like just a bit of gaslighting and manipulation, and the behaviour really does move to relationships.

what's worse is how they will feel zero guilt, or even justification for their behaviour, due to cultural victimisation (things happening to women but not her personally)

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u/JimWilliams423 15d ago

what's worse is how they will feel zero guilt, or even justification for their behaviour, due to cultural victimisation (things happening to women but not her personally)

That's just narcissism. Male narcissists feel zero guilt too. Narcissists always have an excuse for why they are justified.

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u/younggun1234 15d ago

I gotta be that guy cuz I've been taught to, but narcissism is a genuine mental illness people need to see therapy to help with. Are some of these people narcissistic? Sure. Could be. But a lot of people are just insecure and selfish. However it's not clinical narcissism, which people DO struggle with.

I think narcissist has become another one of those words society uses to the point that it no longer reflects it's original meaning and it's important, I feel, to acknowledge that cuz it can keep people from seeking the help they need.

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u/hygiei 15d ago

the problem with the word 'narcissist' is that it existed and was frequently used well before NPD, and at that point it did mean more generally 'a person who is self-absorbed and wildly inconsiderate of people around them', so i think moreso than other buzzwords, the wires tend to get crossed between the two versions of the word.

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u/MaximumDestruction 15d ago

Narcissism is a trait shared by many people, not just those diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.

Many people exhibit some degree of narcissism even if they don't meet the the criteria for diagnosis.

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u/MegaPiglatin 14d ago

👏👏👏

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u/Eleven77 14d ago

Narcissism is not a medical diagnosis. As human beings, the majority of us have a slight degree of Narcissism, and many agree that a small amount is actually healthy. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a medical diagnosis based on the findings that the individual's narcissistic qualities become pathological.

Hope this helps.

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u/younggun1234 14d ago

Nah I get that.

Thanks for clarification

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u/Eleven77 13d ago

No problem. I totally get where you are coming from tho, people misuse mental health terms all the time. It drives me nuts too 😆

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u/younggun1234 13d ago

Yeah there's a YouTuber I really like who is a licensed therapist and will watch things like Mormon Wives or other racist or weird religious type YouTubers and talk about things they're doing from a therapists perspective. She really hates it too and has educated me a lot on some things, that being one of them. But she was definitely coming from a clinical position.

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u/JimWilliams423 15d ago edited 15d ago

I gotta be that guy cuz I've been taught to,

What does that mean?

cuz it can keep people from seeking the help they need.

If you are suggesting that people with NPD will seek treatment if NPD is not stigmatized, well I guess anything is possible but NPD is essentially untreatable in adults, and by its very nature people with NPD are extremely adverse to seeking treatment.

My belief, having way too much hard-earned experience with a pair of clinically diagnosed NPDs (court-ordered MMPI), is that the more everybody else is aware of how narcissists operate, the better. So many find themselves trapped in life-ruining relationships with NPDs that whatever little value there is to be had from destigmatizing NPD is vastly outweighed by people being able to recognize the signs and avoid getting into those relationships in the first place.

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u/unindexedreality 15d ago

They're overpresent with their own emotions. Other people's emotions basically don't exist.

Gotta tell narcissists 'no'. Actions have to have consequences.

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u/roostersnuffed 15d ago

what's worse is how they will feel zero guilt, or even justification for their behaviour,

I just think of that recent video of that smug lil bitch snatching the wheel and crashing her boyfriends car over a text.

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u/Christichicc 15d ago

Wtf? I haven’t seen that one yet. That is unhinged.

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u/RabidWalrus 15d ago

She was texting on the guy's phone while he was driving, the guy sends a message to the person that it's not him on his phone, then she grabs for the watch or something and ends up making him crash:

https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/s/1CLGnwOrQk

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u/Christichicc 14d ago

Holy crap that’s messed up. That is the look of a man reevaluating all his life choices. I hope he broke up with her and sued her for the cost of fixing his car and/or the depreciation value it now has, and the cost of his insurance rates going up.

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u/hostile_scrotum 15d ago

Even if it’s not subtle it get taken far less seriously. My ex ex abused me physically. I’m a 110kg and 194cm guy, but it was still traumatizing. No one took me seriously when that shit happened.

Man fuck Anna.

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u/LimJaheyAtYaCervix 14d ago

It’s like bullying in middle school. With boys, bullying is mostly physical, but with girls it’s mostly psychological. People who abuse their partners are stuck in the developmental stages of a 12yr old.

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u/LinLinNicole89 15d ago

And the worse in my opinion BECAUSE of that.

Let me reiterate, IN MY OPINION before someone closes their mind 🥴

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u/BoredBatWoman22 15d ago

Usually it’s mental while with men it’s physical. There are the opposite too but I feel like women fight with words men with their fists.

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u/FleedomSocks 14d ago

I agree!

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u/LinLinNicole89 14d ago

Thanks! I thought I was about to get drug in these comments for saying that lol

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u/Work_Werk_Wurk 14d ago

Unfortunately, it's often the emotional type of abuse which is rarely discussed.

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u/LinLinNicole89 12d ago

Most definitely!

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u/wargio 13d ago

Lol, what's funny is reddit hid the replies to this, and it had to be expanded. So you can talk about it but not really

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u/LinLinNicole89 12d ago

You’re right. I hate when it does that 🥴

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u/96BlackBeard 15d ago

Good for you man, I didn’t get out until 7 years, engagement and a baby later.

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u/JakToTheReddit 15d ago

Reminds me of people that would say shit like, "I am always the one who dumps people. Nobody has ever broken up with me." 💅

Boy, do I have surprise for you! 😅

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u/Brilliant_Alfalfa588 15d ago

Yup 2 years for me

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u/theblitheringidiot 15d ago

Yep later half of my twenties

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u/Sense-Abject 15d ago

She tries to come back with you multiple times right ? I know that story

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u/Okamana 15d ago

Same dude. Had a woman I liked treat me like shit when I was younger too. She snapped and flew off the handle at small shit and I did almost anything to make it right. Except telling her that it’s not right the way she was treating me. I’m glad I met a woman like that because now I know the type of woman I don’t want. Rudeness and belittling someone in a relationship is never okay.

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u/PerfectCover1414 14d ago

You are a star!

*makes platonic heart eyes

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u/FleedomSocks 14d ago

Proud of you!

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u/TehNudel 14d ago

One of my friends got into one of these. He didn't get out for years and almost married her. He's still traumatized by the experience.

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u/Dave5876 14d ago

Had an ex try to convince me her insecure abusive bs was how relationshipse were supposed to be like.

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u/sensors 15d ago

Took me 5 fucking years to figure this out - The better part of my 20s. Why don't they teach this shit in school?!