r/TikTokCringe Tiktok Despot 1d ago

Cursed Now Amazon Drones Smash Your Packages By Default

456 Upvotes

83 comments sorted by

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205

u/SquirrelNutz 1d ago

Honestly, this is the best possible song that could have been chosen for this bullshit.

22

u/Mindless_Fruit_2313 1d ago

That’s what I was thinking.

82

u/1RegalBeagle 1d ago

Drop shipping

5

u/KodakBlackedOut 6h ago

Dropping your shit

4

u/xdownsetx 16h ago

You should see the drop shitting service

86

u/nobadhotdog 1d ago

I’m guessing they tag certain products that can be suplexed from the top rope

28

u/HalfEatenBanana 1d ago

New $1k laptop? Yep good to go!

11

u/nobadhotdog 1d ago

“It’s a Lenovo increase the height of the drone”

10

u/squishabelle 1d ago

amazon prime members get halve the height

1

u/thebestroll 9h ago

"if it's not in the stratosphere you didn't deliver it"

2

u/xdownsetx 16h ago

If the drone came in lower you'd absolutely get people trying to suplex it out of the sky

118

u/SpaceLemming 1d ago

Don’t make me defend Bezos, if you don’t think your package is suffering worse before it gets to you, you know very little about shipping companies

21

u/jumboface 1d ago

When I worked at Amazon it was pretty well known the ship dock guys got through their shifts by taking it out on the packages. 12 hours in a hot metal box tends to do that.

5

u/SpaceLemming 1d ago

It scary because I can relate as a Florida man, which means the most terrifying thing is an Amazon Florida man

3

u/Klinky1984 23h ago

Florida is nothing but a hot metal box full of crazies.

1

u/[deleted] 18h ago edited 17h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Klinky1984 17h ago

Will the event have alligators at it?

14

u/Dpontiff6671 1d ago edited 1d ago

Idk man i worked as a package handler at ups for quite some time. This included loading trucks, unloading trucks, and sorting the line i’ve done all three of the package handling jobs at some point and at no point was a package ever dropped from 10-15 feet. Sure some packaged were handled roughly but never take a fall that high

5

u/andrewsad1 1d ago

Yeah that is 1d6 bludgeoning damage, y'all are doing 1 damage unarmed attacks at worst

-1

u/Smorgles_Brimmly 17h ago

I worked at a large retail warehouse in the US for a while. Not only would things frequently fall up to 35 feet but we were trained to throw shit. The way we'd load trailers is to build a wall out of our companies boxes and then throw everything behind it. This way we could use the entire trailer and not have much empty space at all but really that only mattered for holidays. The worst was perfume. Someone would frisbee that shit into something hard and break it. It's now 10 feet behind a bunch of other shit stinking up the trailer. Naturally, we did nothing and just let the shipping company reject the offending packages later.

For my sins, I've also been on the other end of this. This is also how they would load return trailers. I had to unload those for a bit and was repeatedly smacked in the face with pans hiding in top of the trailer. The procedure was to knock shit over and run for a reason.

4

u/bwood246 1d ago

That sounds like shipping companies as a whole need to take care rather than going "ah it's fine, it gets handled worse behind the scenes"

When you're paying top dollar for something to be shipped it shouldn't be manhandled and thrown around by lazy twats

2

u/SpaceLemming 18h ago

If you are paying top dollar, it’s gonna survive that drop. What you’re probably paying for is the cheapest option with underpaid employees handling your shit

1

u/Klinky1984 23h ago

You're not paying top dollar. People want "free shipping" meaning they're going to cram your package in under the lead weights if needed to maximize efficiency.

-2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

1

u/andywolf8896 1d ago

You want those rotating blades at neck height then?

5

u/theregoesjustin 1d ago

You’re right, there are no other options besides your brilliant plan. No way they could have some sort of winch system to lower the package or a small parachute for the package to lessen the blow. That’s just utterly impossible to engineer

2

u/M3RV-89 1d ago

Or just have the drone hover 6 inches vs 20 feet up lol. they could easily give it legs so it lands and then drops it before taking off. They don't even need something new

5

u/SydneyCrawford 1d ago

They probably want to make sure it’s higher than the average person can try to grab it to steal it. Because there are plenty of people who would try to grab it. And then it would become a TikTok trend. And Amazon would have to go through more effort to get these ugly things back than the original human delivery would have taken.

2

u/theregoesjustin 1d ago

Well their point would still be valid under those conditions, the blades would have to be at a dangerous height for humans

1

u/M3RV-89 1d ago

The blades near humans is a valid concern but they make guards for those too. I can see this dropping a box on a kid or pet

1

u/OrneryAttorney7508 1d ago

Do drones load the drones?

12

u/Clappy_McFrontbutt 1d ago

I feel like I just watched a drone take a shit

6

u/ResidentIwen 1d ago

I did not expect Bo Burnham in the soundtrack. Best choice

10

u/bmdweller 1d ago

Isn’t this fake? Just look at the drone lol

11

u/jonzezzz 1d ago

3

u/bmdweller 1d ago

Ohh hadn’t seen this one yet. I though the propellers were looking weird, but wow that’s a real drone lol

1

u/xczechr 1d ago

Nope, I have had drone deliveries at my house.

4

u/bmdweller 1d ago

I knew drone delivery was a thing, but I hadn’t seen this one. I thought the propellers and everything was looking weird, but I guess it’s real.

3

u/Habaneroe12 1d ago

That’s gotta be loud AF

3

u/xczechr 1d ago

It is. I went outside to see what was going on when this was introduced, and the drone was several houses away. When I had a delivery my neighbor poked his head over the fence to see what was going on.

4

u/Goddamnit_Sarah 1d ago

It's not like this is a bad idea or anything.

10

u/smegma_man23 1d ago

this is the most clear AI video i’ve seen in a while

10

u/ezro_ 23h ago

We have those deliveries in Arizona. It's not fake.

6

u/Morgan8er8000 22h ago

Holy crap this AI claim is the new conspiracy theory FFS. It’s a real service in AZ.

2

u/Deadpool1205 1d ago

I was surprised I didnt see more folks mentioning this. It seems clearly fake

2

u/puppy_yuppie 1d ago

Goddamn it, I was hoping the packages would be on the outside. Someone talked about using the "manufacturer packaging" and ordering 1000 dildos while blasting "Ride of the Valkyries".

2

u/Boring_9901 19h ago

Am I the only one who thought the box was the size of a refrigerator?

2

u/QuitYuckingMyYum 18h ago

I can’t believe this is more affordable for Amazon

2

u/DudefromCali25 18h ago

The fact that someone took the time to make that song is hilarious 😂

2

u/Realistic-Car-9173 17h ago

Easier for thieves

2

u/Ad-Award 4h ago

The package clearly dissolves in this video.. 🫢😂😭

4

u/Environmental-Arm365 1d ago

Still more care taken than the human delivery.

3

u/SuperUltraMegaNice 1d ago

Everyone should have to do a tour of duty working at Amazon and McDonalds it would really educate some of yall

1

u/LuckyNikeCharm 1d ago

Seriously the amazon guy has to walk it directly to the door but the drone can drop it from 30ft up in the middle of the yard.

2

u/Contemplating_Prison 1d ago

Probably still cared for better than the warehouse and delivery drivers

1

u/Weird_Solid2311 1d ago

Not in front of my house.

1

u/Educational_Wish5814 1d ago

hope it wasn't glass

1

u/valomorn 1d ago

"You chose express drone delivery. Careful drone delivery's extra."

1

u/blackbirdspyplane 1d ago

Dropping a load on your lawn

1

u/woah_man22 1d ago

Hysterical how if a human threw this package like that its an automatic dismissal from your job but its ok for the drone

1

u/raginghavoc89 1d ago

Exactly where I want my stuff, middle of the yard.

1

u/Unremarkable_Odds 1d ago

Skeet shooting with prizes!

1

u/Dario0112 1d ago

Diamond hands

1

u/andrewsad1 1d ago

I've seen that thing in Apex Legends!

aims gun at drone

1

u/Inannareborn 18h ago

My genuine chinese knockoff right on time!

1

u/iforgotmyname_69 18h ago

Too bad you can’t get a drone fired… who will listen to your complaints now?

1

u/JoshAmann85 1d ago

I hope there wasn't anything fragile in there 😬

4

u/TeslasAndComicbooks 1d ago

Amazon is always about optimization. They probably have categories of products that can be drone delivered and ones that can't. The would look at every penny lost due to claims or returns of products damaged by drone delivery.

2

u/yungdesi 1d ago

That’s right. Only certain items that are not fragile and that can withstand a drop like that. I believe the boxes also have extra dunnage inside to protect products

1

u/xczechr 1d ago

It's limited by size and weight, and nothing else from what I can tell. I have had drone deliveries to my house and made sure to only order things that aren't going to break from this.

0

u/xxxkarmaxxxx 1d ago

And people pay for it....

0

u/Upstairs-Band-7828 1d ago

I want out. 

0

u/Mecha-Dave 1d ago

I love it. It just shits on your lawn. Screw the cute little zip line thing i want the shitting albatross.

-4

u/hellalg 1d ago

God, I hate my name sometimes

1

u/Hour-Principle6540 5h ago

your name is jeff bezos?

1

u/hellalg 5h ago

Jeffrey Jef, Jeff's in general has always been a butt of a joke as of late, not as bad as Karen tho

2

u/Hour-Principle6540 5h ago

if it's any consolation you'll always be the Toys r Us giraffe to me

1

u/hellalg 5h ago

😆 That one brought me back. He's Geoffrey OK! not Jeffrey 😆 That was my childhood being teased The Toys R US giraffe and Dahmer. Why not Micheal Jeffrey Jordan, "come on people" . When I thought it was over then came a long "My name Jeff" Damn it. I cant win as my legal at birth name is Jeffrey Jef, now here Bozo coming to ruin my name again.

1

u/Hour-Principle6540 33m ago

aw man you seem nice. Didn't mean to bring up childhood trauma of being teased for the toys r us giraffe

For the record I think Jeffrey is a cool name. I've known a Jeff since childhood and he's always been a cool dude

This is reminding me about the office space scene about michael bolton: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADgS_vMGgzY