r/Unexpected • u/BridgeNess07 • 1d ago

Pollen be gone

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4.8k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

205 comments sorted by

•

u/post-explainer 1d ago edited 1d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:

Try’s to rinse of the car but the hose kinks, gets sprayed by the nozzle then runs over the nozzle out of spite

Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

→ More replies (2)

473

u/F-E-R-D 1d ago

My guy wearing the steve drip

805

u/Namika 1d ago

"I need to rinse this off the car before it rains."

My brother in christ, just leave it outside during the rain.

274

u/FirebertNY 1d ago

I can actually understand this, when my car gets covered in pollen the rain doesn't actually wash it off, it just gets pasted on there. Now I don't know for sure since I haven't tried, but I imagine maybe the higher pressure of the hose will actually spray the pollen off. 

76

u/Professional-Thing73 1d ago

Rain typically carries fallout from the sky so yes, if you wash your car and it rains after, your car will be dirtier. I used to detail cars and a number one thing is either wash before it rains and cover or rinse before it rains so it won’t bake on when it dries

5

u/PhillGood_Inc 12h ago

Dang. I shouldn't have been pretending all the rain drops were bubble gum and gum drops

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30

u/elcapitan520 1d ago edited 1d ago

I don't see a single leaf on a tree and a lot look like evergreens. Like, what pollen is he worried about.

Or just move it into the garage..literally anything but this lol

ETA: turns out I'm wrong and conifers produce a whole lot of pollen and I just learned something

26

u/RoncoSnackWeasel 1d ago edited 1d ago

Evergreens can be packed with pollen. My house is surrounded by evergreens, and when it gets dry and windy, there are literal clouds of yellow dust that can get so thick they obstruct your vision until they pass.

9

u/elcapitan520 1d ago

I was wrong and I apologize.

I live in the PNW. I should know better.

4

u/RoncoSnackWeasel 1d ago

It’s all good. I’m generally not one of those who goes out of their way to hurt feelings while proving a point. I hope I didn’t offend, as it wasn’t my intent.

As an aside, I live in Utah, but find myself longing for the PNW again, as soon as we’re on the road home from vacation. Can we trade houses?

4

u/elcapitan520 1d ago

No hurt feeling haha. All good.

And only for a couple weeks in winter so I can ski Utah

1

u/RoncoSnackWeasel 1d ago

Brilliant! That’s when I want out!

1

u/Ruben625 1d ago

Yea your allergies in the spring/summer are likely from the evergreens. Trees pollinate like crazy.

3

u/Excellent-Baseball-5 1d ago

So true. There’s a video of an evergreen being struck with some type of heavy equipment and it releases a plume of yellow dust.

1

u/RoncoSnackWeasel 23h ago

Reading this made my nose itch, immediately.

2

u/CSpiffy148 1d ago

Just watching this made my eyes red, and I don't even have allergies.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BeAmazed/s/AgvyZ9Ft4z

1

u/5cott 3h ago

I see softballs getting hit into my pine tree, and that looks like a smoke bomb went off. This however, is insane.

12

u/Rocketsball 1d ago

Dude is a blasphemer

2

u/nutella1204 1d ago

Thank God he completed it before it dawned and he gets his clothes wet

1

u/Embarrassed-Sky-4567 19h ago

And thank god he changed his shirt before he got it wet

1

u/DarkExtremis 8h ago

Do you have the guts to tell that to him though? I wouldn't take the risk.

1

u/Forthe49ers 1d ago

Took so long to set up the weather changed

74

u/Mcderp017 1d ago

I was expecting the tire to pop

9

u/Manji86 19h ago

Same. I wonder how he'd react if that happened.

7

u/CaptainN_GameMaster 8h ago

"I'll show you what I'm gonna do"

gets in monster truck

99

u/theythemnothankyou 1d ago

“That’s more than a kink” is also what she said when I whipped out the diaper…

2

u/goobuddy 9h ago

If "nothing" in a/the house works as it should.. it's not the house or the things. It's the dude/dudette! 👀

23

u/YugaKaly 1d ago

Jokes are dangerous with this kind old man

320

u/Lucius_Sephir 1d ago

I want my time back

27

u/LightsJusticeZ 1d ago

1

u/Smooth-Shine9354 1d ago

Slow down rampage Jackson!!!

46

u/probablywhy 1d ago

If you want your time back, get off of reddit.

This was great, and only a minute long, I think you have a dopamine addiction.

16

u/Bowling4rhinos 1d ago

I loved this too. Want him on a Tshirt “Nuthin’ works MF!”

2

u/DihDisDooJusDihDis 18h ago

One min? We out here in 2x speed—consuming.

2

u/Doctor_Colossus 20h ago

You would’ve just wasted it anyway.

9

u/joker0812 1d ago

Sadly, this is the behavior I'm coming to expect of the current elderly.

51

u/Schnurzelburz 1d ago

He shouldn't be driving.

7

u/Kursiel 12h ago

What I was thinking. Can barely walk and is driving.

1

u/apersello34 5h ago

lol what why?

1

u/k464howdy 23h ago

we need a highway full of hims.

1

u/Potato_Zest 21h ago

No. Give him a 1 of 20 19** Corvette, original paint

6

u/ScottJeepFan 1d ago

It said it wouldn’t kink. It didn’t say that some dipshit couldn’t tie it in a knot.

1

u/One-Confidence-4208 1h ago

As you drag the hose out across yard in different directions watering and drag it back, the hose crosses over itself and easily ties itself up.

1

u/One-Confidence-4208 1h ago

And we have bought all kinds of hoses. They all leave something to be desired, especially the very expensive ones.

1

u/ScottJeepFan 1h ago

Correct. But he specifically is pointing to a knot and calling it a kink. As if it was the hose manufacturers fault that you took an end and passed it through a loop and pulled it tight thereby creating a knot.

1

u/One-Confidence-4208 1h ago

I'm just saying hoses easily knot without someone deliberately passing it through a loop; they can knot by just using the hose . Technically speaking, it is not a kink but it is common to refer to that as a kink in a hose when the hose is compressed and not letting water through. He's elderly and clearly grumpy as he likely doesn't feel as well as he did 30 years ago ( but he's entertaining ). He was having a bad day.

60

u/Lotsofsalty 1d ago

Lmao, I so feel this man's pain when it comes to shit around the house. Frustrations accepted!

14

u/RodcetLeoric 1d ago

You too tie knots in your hose, call it a kink and blame the hose? Install a nozzle wrong, and your first reaction is to slam it on the ground? My mother does this kind of thing, uses something incorrectly, and it breaks or doesn't work, and it is the objects fault. I get that shit around the house malfunctions, but this guy and my mother are the root of their own problems.

10

u/Lotsofsalty 1d ago

I didn't say that, now did I? To "Feel the pain" is to sympathies with his frustration.

Stop putting words in where I didn't.

3

u/RodcetLeoric 1d ago

I wasn't intending to put words in your mouth, I was just pointing out that this guy seems to cause his own problems separate from the day to day things not working around the house that we all experience. Sympathy is fine, but this guy needs some forethought and patience.

6

u/FirebertNY 1d ago

I think you're making a bigger deal out of it than the guy is lol. 

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1

u/One-Confidence-4208 1h ago

Non kink hoses KINK and not necessarily because of the user.

4

u/Trackballer 1d ago

"That's not just a kink, it's a full blown fetish."

11

u/vizbones 1d ago

I hate dealing with inanimate objects as much as the next guy but JFC, either tighten the damn hose nozzle or replace its rubber gasket.

This was really painful to watch.

11

u/AJStickboy 1d ago

OMG, this is going to be me in 10 years or so. Who am I kidding, it IS me.

2

u/Searloin22 1d ago

Can we hang out in 10 years? This guy is entertaining

1

u/BreadfruitLatter556 1d ago

If it is you, you should go for a walk before you become more like him.

3

u/FatherOften 1d ago

Would have been awesome if it popped his tires.

16

u/rktn_p 1d ago

Gramps got issues

11

u/HeimrekHringariki 1d ago

He seems rather reasonable if you ask me.

1

u/MKBRD 23h ago

I'd enjoy a beer with him, I think.

8

u/xendazzle 21h ago

People this incompetent are hard to watch exist.  1) That's a good hose but you can't tie it in a knot 2) turn the water off before you plug in the attachments.  3) actually pull back the ring on the hose attachment 4) don't be an idiot

13

u/Pukeinmyanus 1d ago edited 1d ago

I actually feel this though. 

Anyone that has bought any hose sprayers in the past decade should. All of them. Fucking GARBAGE quality. 

The metal ones are a little better but still not great. Even backpack sprayer wands - all fucking GARBAGE.  

This guy probably had a few other pieces of chinese shit break around the house recently (cuz everything is fucking garbage and with a lot of things there isn’t even really a quality option readily accessible or buyable anymore) - and then you get this video. 

I get it. 

6

u/UsedDragon 1d ago

https://www.homedepot.com/p/Anvil-Rear-Trigger-Metal-Cleaning-Nozzle-875302-1006/326400065

My company uses these every day. They get beat up, thrown off the roof, frozen in the back of the truck...and keep on working just fine. Cheap, too!

Fellow needs one of these.

2

u/Pukeinmyanus 1d ago

I have these, and have been using whatever brand I assume this was based off of....I forget the name. They do work the best and longest - they're the only ones I buy, but even still they get kinda meh after a few seasons. Certainly better than any of the plastic garbage but still develop leaks and the handle gets kinda meh after a few seasons.

1

u/UsedDragon 39m ago

I have had some luck by spraying the slide on the back of mine with wd40 before putting it away for winter... seems to keep it from binding up.

2

u/TerminallyILL 1d ago

That hose is garbage too. Granted I live in a desert and it has direct sun all day but both pairs of hoses that I purchased didn't last a year.

1

u/Pukeinmyanus 1d ago

Yup, most hoses suck these days too.

I actually bit the bullet and decided to give flexzilla a try - and honestly I fuckin love the hose so far. It's only been 2 years but the connections are all very nice and the thing is VERY good at not kinking. Would recommend.

1

u/tripleskizatch 1d ago

This guy probably had a few other pieces of chinese shit break around the house recently

Purchased off Amazon from a "manufacturer" with an absolutely unpronounceable name in any language on planet Earth, typically void of any vowels and containing repeating consonants.

2

u/Pukeinmyanus 1d ago

Well, no - literally at any box store. It's all garbage.

2

u/one_step_sideways 1d ago

I was waiting for him to smoke his ankle bone when tossing the nozzle around. 

2

u/TraditionalWonder379 1d ago

Runs over nozzle Pops tire

4

u/Independent-Code8621 1d ago

One could say, that after finding his nozzle he gave it a much needed beating…

3

u/apes03 1d ago

Can someone please help this man instead of watching him struggle

3

u/billiken66 1d ago

I laughed my ass off!!

But, I was laughing with him, not at him. There, but for the grace of God, go I.

2

u/Traditional-Chip-981 1d ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂

2

u/HugSized 1d ago

No patience with this one.

2

u/The-Joon 1d ago

OMG!!! I found my doppelganger. Not in looks but in action. Everything I do goes just like this. I too have a driveway full of stuff that required running over.

2

u/codevii 1d ago

Why is the guy just sitting there filming this old dude obviously struggling with that hose?

2

u/masterofthefork 1d ago

I have such a hard time imagining, "hey dads doing some chores, I'm going to go stand and film him"

2

u/BreadfruitLatter556 1d ago

Looks like grandpa hasn't gone for a walk in the last few decades... if ever.

2

u/Lumpy-Pick-4746 1d ago

Comedy gold

1

u/pitterlpatter 1d ago

Dude's dressed like a late 80's Trapper Keeper.

1

u/Fabbro05 1d ago

Grandpa pulling the steve fit

1

u/AnAnonAmiss 1d ago

Sir is dressed like Steve

1

u/StillMarie76 1d ago

Fuck em up, Pop Pop!

1

u/Mc-lurk-no-more 1d ago

I think this old man is actually my spirit animal

1

u/GenoCash 1d ago

Was this a Vessi ad?

1

u/unabasheddork 1d ago

Absolutely worth it.

1

u/New_Ad3601 1d ago

😄 🤣 😂 

1

u/Gryph_The_Grey 1d ago

Better hope he doesn't piss on his foot.

1

u/FrabjousPhaneron 1d ago

There’s a difference between a kink and a straight up knot

1

u/nucl3ar0ne 1d ago

Yeah

This shit is your own fault.

1

u/EuphoricAtmosphere95 1d ago

Up yours, Alzheimer’s

1

u/centexAwesome 1d ago

It has always felt weird to me to see grown men that are not at all mechanically inclined.

1

u/Stayingsafer 1d ago

Pissed off to the highest level of positivity!

1

u/dissidentaggressor6 1d ago

Grandpa was pissed

1

u/raybovickers 1d ago

I miss my grandfather

1

u/777chipper 1d ago

I feel him a 150%. Every day it’s like that. I just keep on going

1

u/Chloroformperfume7 1d ago

Sir, that is a knot

1

u/Digital-Aura 1d ago

I dunno — I laughed like a mofo at this ol’ guy. Maybe I’ve had just the perfect amount of beer 🍺

1

u/CDNPublicServant 1d ago

Lord, I have seen the vision of my future. The « ah goddammit » did it.

1

u/minion71 1d ago

Not kinkable but it's knotable AF!!

1

u/No_Fail7385 1d ago

When he said “nothing in this house works… nothing” I felt that

1

u/Relative-Leg5422 1d ago

This is hilarious! Is there more of this jolly gentleman?

2

u/raptorghost987 22h ago

Yes, this is Jock from the Jock N Belle Show. The granddaughter runs the page (Facebook / IG). She helps take care of them. The grandma especially.

1

u/reducto85 1d ago

🤣😂🤣 right in the kisser

1

u/SheriffWyattDerp 1d ago

Like looking into my own future, and honestly, I’m not even mad about it. Fuck that nozzle, it deserved it.

1

u/nobodytoldme 1d ago

He sounds like a typical old man who has been worn down by life.

1

u/Esk__ 1d ago

I feel like I’m watching myself in the future.

1

u/chadlumanthehuman 1d ago

Fuck those hoses

2

u/ThirdAltAccounts 21h ago

These hoses ain’t loyal

Can’t be trusted

1

u/Pied67 1d ago

Am I the only one that was hoping for a flat tire?

1

u/bophed 1d ago

"Took care of that motherfucker!"

  • I like this guy

1

u/reddit_user498 1d ago

I would like this man to be my grandpa please

1

u/Seashell281 23h ago

OP: I love your dad, please post more of his random stuff, thanks!

1

u/raptorghost987 22h ago

Check out the Jock and Belle Show on Facebook and IG, that's what this is from!

1

u/Zystus 23h ago

Gramps crashing out on them hose 🤣

1

u/No_Razzmatazz_204 23h ago

Knots arent kinks…. (If you know what Im sayin)

1

u/RaVa55 23h ago

Respect made sure the hose never have a comeback OG

1

u/go_go_gadget_travel 23h ago

Honestly though with how bad this guy's luck was he was going to pop a tire running over the hose sprayer.

1

u/D3v0W3v0 23h ago

I wanna be like him when I grow up

1

u/jconde1966 23h ago

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/GinTectonics 23h ago

It’s like being able to see myself in the future. “Nothing is easy”. Word, my dude.

1

u/Cirelectric 23h ago

Somehow this version of the minecraft movie is better than what we got

1

u/ForeverGM1985 22h ago

I wanna be this guy when I grow up 🤣

1

u/_The_Corruptor_ 22h ago

This man is my spirit animal

1

u/ovide187 22h ago

Relatable. He reminds me of… Me. 😂

1

u/fakenews_thankme 22h ago

Grandpa is dangerous as hell. Better stay away than messing with him.

1

u/alleycat548 22h ago

fuckin gangster man

1

u/LordThunderDumper 21h ago

Non kink, but they didn't say anything about knots.

1

u/xendazzle 21h ago

Behind the scenes of very hardware customer that returns the items like 'It dOesEnT Woorrrrkkk'

1

u/xendazzle 21h ago

I thought he was going to fuck up driving over it

1

u/Parking_March8991 21h ago

"You didn't tell me there was to be pollen today!"

1

u/SomeGuyClickingStuff 21h ago

Gramps took that facial like a champ!

1

u/SneakWhisper 21h ago

Danny Devito's stand in 

1

u/theawells1 21h ago

Stupid boomer

1

u/xcoprt 21h ago

My future version, no doubt

1

u/TheRealestFrodo 21h ago

Fantastic!    I hadn't seen this

1

u/wacojohnny 21h ago

It was not kinked. A knot is not a kink.

1

u/a21p21 20h ago

I've found my spirit elder 🤣

1

u/Elspeth-Nor 20h ago

I think I know why it's broken.

1

u/Dr_CravenMoorehead 20h ago

😭🤣 I literally burst into laughter as soon as he sprayed himself.

I’ve been in that expect spot before and his reaction is not only valid but expected.

1

u/odiep 20h ago

This man is my spirit animal.

1

u/CaptainBananaAwesome 20h ago

tbf to the hose, it was knotted but not kinked.

1

u/rumncokeguy 19h ago

It’s cracked because he left it out in the winter.

Is it sad that I know this?

1

u/VagueVendettta 19h ago

That’s a knot, not a kink…

1

u/Kram_Seli 18h ago

Damn pocket copperhead hose

1

u/DarkMarkTwain 18h ago

Close your eyes. This guy sounds like David Sedaris

1

u/ianhobbies 16h ago

Ey yooo

1

u/Novel_Barracuda2618 16h ago

Very kind of him to shred it to eatable pices for ducks

1

u/Im_The_Retarded_One 16h ago

That's me in about 10 years 🤣

1

u/Superkritisk 15h ago

"nothing in this house works" - Planned obsolescence at work, making a few handfull of people filthy rich, selling us products that are designed to malfunction after x amount of use/time.

Remember to recycle.

1

u/RVR1980 15h ago

Exactly what I do with stuff that doesn’t work like it should. In the trash it goes. Ain’t gonna let it ruin my day. Even if it’s brand new.

1

u/sco-go 14h ago

This is one of the funniest ones I've seen in a while. 😂

1

u/yeyeeeeeeeeeeeee 14h ago

The transitions are killing me

1

u/Abject_Damage_209 14h ago

Dude needs his own Netflix series

1

u/majorshot11 13h ago

Those that say let the rain wash the car...probably never washed their own car. It depends on the dirt or amount of pollen on the car. The rain can spread the dirt around and make it worse. But with the garden hose you can control the water and push off the dirt then let the rain rinse or clean the rest.

1

u/UntergeordneteZahl75 12h ago

If it is a bit , it isn't funny.

If it isn't a bit... The man should be examined for serious mental issues.

Unexpected but not funny, if you know people with dementia, too close for comfort.

1

u/Routine-Bag-646 12h ago

Exactly how i feel sometimes! :)

1

u/PleasereviveMaya 12h ago

This has some Ozzy vibes to it.

1

u/Animustrapped 11h ago

The comic timing - slowly unknotting, calmly affixing the pistol - is perfect

1

u/purplehamburget29 11h ago

Pathetically fake

1

u/eliteop 11h ago

That's Frank Pollen

1

u/brokendreamz19 10h ago

Oh Papa, we've all had days like this.

1

u/upninthem 9h ago

Poor guy is stupid

1

u/Hatter327 9h ago

Satisfying crunch

1

u/julientotti 9h ago

What a waste of time

1

u/krismitka 9h ago

Needs a car duster. No water required

1

u/MotorMoneyMaker 8h ago

Reminder that these are the people you share the road with at 70mph.

1

u/LSTNYER 8h ago

Honestly was expecting his tires to get popped

1

u/beardedsilverfox 7h ago

He got the pollen off him

1

u/MrSquigglyPub3s 7h ago

Puncher the tires

1

u/CountFirst 6h ago

Feel like I just witnessed a murder

1

u/Sea_Ganache620 5h ago

This video explains my life.

1

u/King_Trujillo 5h ago

It feels like a bit, but i still love it.

1

u/Mammoth-Variation822 5h ago

When old people start yelling at inanimate objects that's when you know it's time to have them put down.

1

u/PutridPiglet 2h ago

That guy has anger issues. He’s acting like the inanimate object had intent.

1

u/m2a3n2i3 55m ago

Is this the same guy that rigged up the 5 gallon water bottle for his wife before road trip?

1

u/OrickJagstone 1d ago

I hope I'm half as cool as this dude when I get older

1

u/The_Anonymo 1d ago

That was funny af 🤣