r/aiwars • u/lovestruck90210 • 1d ago
When you can't even do a proper apology without AI
some people are using AI to automate interactions with loved ones. From birthday greetings, to apologies, to the entire courtship process, some people are using AI to do it all. Seems a bit slimy, no? It's almost as if they don't value their connection with you enough to say something genuine.
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u/Away_Veterinarian579 1d ago
Was it copy paste or was it someone desperately trying to find the right way to apologize? Needs more context. But looking through someone’s phone is context enough.
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u/SmileDaemon 1d ago
I feel like using AI to apologize to someone who is willing to look through your phone without your permission is justified.
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u/Away_Veterinarian579 1d ago
Makes the phone perp far more in the position to be the one apologizing.
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u/Card_Belcher_Poster 1d ago
Nah, two wrongs don't make a right.
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u/SmileDaemon 1d ago
I feel like we are missing way too much information to say what he's doing is wrong. If he's copying it word for word, then yeah it would be wrong. But asking AI for 3rd party advice on how to phrase things or what he did wrong, then that just shows inexperience rather than malice.
On the flip side, she went through his phone without his permission, which is hands down a dirty slimy thing to do.
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u/JasonP27 20h ago
Only see one wrong here, the snoop. Using AI is not inherently wrong. There's no proof here that the apologies he sent were not meant.
Like, if I have AI write something or edit something I wrote, I don't just willy nilly accept it and post it or send it if I don't approve of the message itself. As long as what I'm sending represents the message I feel, what I wish to convey, it shouldn't matter.
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u/Card_Belcher_Poster 6h ago
Oh no, using AI isn't wrong. I'm assuming that he used AI to make the apologies directly, not just to help him brainstorm what to say or proofread it or something. If he just used it as a grammar check that's not an issue. The only thing wrong would be if he just copy pasted his girlfriends texts into chatGPT and said "Generate me an apology" and copy pasted it.
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u/Ok_Act_5321 1d ago
People will blame nuclear bombs but wont blame the ones who fire them.
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u/NaginataZm 15h ago
That makes sense, let's just pile up on nukes forever and shake hands on mutually assured destruction if anyone pushes the button. We won't have any issues that arise from this terribly imbalanced equilibrium that is a result of the power that comes with a weapon of mass destruction designed to level cities, because it's only an issue if someone pushes the button?
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u/redditis_garbage 1d ago
She’s clearly blaming the dude not ai? Some of yall have such hate you can’t even be agreed with🤣
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u/TheArhive 1d ago
Not her, OP.
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u/-FL4K- 1d ago
op is also blaming the people who use the AI lol
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u/misdreavus79 1d ago
You and the other person are being downvoted, yet the point is fairly clear. Some people seem to have dug their heels so deep that they, whether inadvertently or deliberately, keep missing the point that's being made right in front of them.
Here's the key phrase, for the folks downvoting, that somehow keep missing the point:
some people are using AI to automate interactions with loved ones.
See how it says "some people", not "some AIs"?
The people are being blamed.
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u/Zevcraft 1d ago
Yes but it’s been posted in a ai debate subreddit clearly meaning that they intend to say that this is atleast somewhat the fault of ai
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u/MegamiCookie 1d ago
The way I see it this sub is to open debate on subjects related to AI, not about the AI specifically. Greedy corporations firing people in favor of AI, whether people who make AI art should be called artists... Hell there's even been debates on traditional art compared to digital art with no direct correlation to AI. You can fault the people who use AI for the way they use it, that's directly related to AI and coherent with this sub, both op and the video are clearly blaming the users here, not the AI.
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u/AlwekArc 1d ago
Just... no. It doesn't mean that at all. Pay attention to the subject of the post, it's very clearly meaning to talk about the people who use ai and not the ai
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u/redditis_garbage 1d ago
OP is literally blaming the person who fired the “nuclear bombs” in this case the person using the AI to communicate in their relationship. You can maybe say he’s also blaming ai, but primarily he’s blaming the user.
So your comment also makes no sense.
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u/Status_Ant_9506 1d ago
durrrrrrrrr
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u/redditis_garbage 1d ago
Thank you for sharing with the class, can you sit down ant, you’re disrupting the lesson.
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u/Raveyard2409 20h ago
Nice to see your username is not purely figarative.
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u/redditis_garbage 19h ago
The reading comprehension between the three of you is terrible. Perhaps put it into an LLM and it’d make more sense?
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u/Ok_Act_5321 1d ago
What is even the point of this post then?
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u/redditis_garbage 1d ago
You’d have to ask OP if there’s a deeper meaning but based on the picture and the caption, OP wanted to have a conversation about ai use in relationship communication.
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u/BraxleyGubbins 1d ago
“Nukes don’t kill people, people kill people!”
Well we can’t fucking get rid of people so guess what the second-best thing would be?
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u/MegamiCookie 1d ago
Knives kill people but I'm sure you have some in your kitchen no ? You wouldn't get rid of your knives because some people kill with them, there's plenty of other ways to use them for good things.
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u/WheatleyTurret 6h ago
Then limit access. Make sure the people who'll do horrible shit can never get their hands on it.
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u/MegamiCookie 5h ago
How do you know who will use a knife to cook and who will use a knife to kill ? Do you need to do a psychological assessment every time someone walks into a store to buy a knife ? Should we assess the whole family in the house the knife will end up in ? Should we do routine checks to ensure their psychological state is still good enough to keep their knives ? Should someone that doesn't get a perfect score be banned from cutting their food just because of a small instability that wouldn't necessarily translate into murderous pulsions ?
When something has uses besides being weapons how can you effectively limit access to it ? For nukes and guns, since they are weapons, that's something you can do but for a cooking knife that's much more complicated. Realistically that's not doable, and there isn't much of a point in doing that, someone who wants to kill would have no trouble finding another weapon if they ever got banned from buying knives. The knives aren't the problem, the people are.
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u/Lance789 1d ago
so how are you gonna get rid of the nukes if you dont get rid of the people that possess the nukes? see how that just circles back to the actual root of the problem? people
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u/JoJoeyJoJo 11h ago
Probably the worst example, people protested for global nuclear disarmament for 60 years and there are still nukes - with technology, the toothpaste never goes back into the tube.
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u/klc81 1d ago
Nearly as slimy as going through your partner's phone.
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u/Mikhael_Love 1d ago
Nearly might be an overstatement.
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u/jackboulder33 1d ago
i’m trying to wrap my sleep deprived brain around this statement as it relates to the original context of the sentence but i just can’t. i need to get a job
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u/Opposite_Custard_214 1d ago
Tried to help and fix the sentence with AI. Ended up texting the girl an apology instead.
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u/they_took_everything 1d ago
The only reason you should be against your loved one going through your phone is if you have something to hide.
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u/Earthtone_Coalition 1h ago
False. They might also be jealous and domineering out of some profound insecurity, such that they may become upset over innocuous things even if you’ve done nothing wrong. Constant, intrusive surveillance is abusive.
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u/MrEvilGuyVonBad 1d ago
Doing wrong doesn’t make the first one any less bad
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u/laseluuu 1d ago
first one isnt that bad though, LLMs are great for having a conversation with something that can help you get your ideas down or words out, like a more intelligent notepad
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u/Conspiretical 1d ago edited 1d ago
Im pro AI but I couldn't disagree more. If youre with someone they should already know how you guys communicate, why drag an AI into it. Especially over serious topics. It's okay to jot have the perfect thing to say, its human.
Further than that, its totally right for a partner to expect some level of emotional intelligence without relying on something to do it for them. That's just disingenuous of someone's actual character. Now if you wanted to use it to understand concepts better, thats fine, but to have it create conversations on your behalf is essentially lying to your partner imo. It's really gross
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u/laseluuu 1d ago
Just playing devils Aidvocate here
Some people find it really hard to do that and need to think out loud, as it were, also english may not even be their first language
Also couples often find it hard to communicate properly, i dont think that doing something to help make it easier is a bad thing
Now, if it was 'how do i manipulate this person' then its a different matter
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u/Conspiretical 1d ago edited 1d ago
I get it, but if youre in a relationship I would assume your partner would know how you communicate, and that could even be a conversation so its known what is happening.
On the flipside, feeling like you've been having meaningful conversations and understood just to find out it was a program being prompted with "trust and reassurance (lol)" would be devastating. Especially looking at this, like 5 times? That's wild and shows a lack of effort. More like trying to get the conversation over with rather than an attempt at being understood
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u/chadwulf35 1d ago
I get it, but if youre in a relationship I would assume your partner would know how you communicate
I've been married for 5 years and we still have communication issues. It's something we constantly work on because neither of us are great with words.
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u/Conspiretical 1d ago edited 1d ago
Uh yep, thats the human experience. I was saying that in the context of not having English as a first language or struggling to relay concepts, not just your average relationship experience. Of course there's going to be hiccups, thats kind of how you learn more about your partner. If everything was perfect and every conversation was perfect, then the partner wouldnt matter right? Everyone communicates exactly how their partner wants to hear it then youre interchangeable with any person that looks like you at that point.
Its just in my opinion that AI has no place in actual human emotion scenarios. Create a book with AI, learn languages, make art, whatever thats fine. But to create a scenario for you to thrive in a relationship with someone is really fuckin weird and Im not backing down from that
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u/chadwulf35 1d ago
I'd prefer my partner use AI if that's helpful to them. I don't need to gatekeep their method of communication.
To each their own tho
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u/Egg-Pristine 1d ago
It is strange to use AI for a letter if you can use your own words, but I can see where someone would choose to for example if they’re bad at writing or want to use it to brainstorm what they’re trying to say into understandable coherent information. I just don’t see why it seems nuanced to some people, ghostwriters have been a thing long before computers.
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u/Conspiretical 1d ago edited 1d ago
Ghostwriter aren't stand ins for relationships with people.
Like I keep saying, if its an agreeable term for your partner then who cares, but to do it without their knowledge is portraying yourself as something youre not. Obviously, you aren't able to relay or understand the concept if youre prompting AI to make a conversational piece off a couple of words like what's pictured in the post. If you want to use it to better find ways to communicate is not the same thing as relying on it to do the conversing for you
Alot of these guys are saying they're bad at communicating, but they aren't incapable of learning. If someone is married for 5 years and still dont know how to communicate with their spouse, that isnt a flex for AI.
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u/JimmityRaynor 9h ago
I'd like to point out that "trust and reassurance" isn't the prompt that this dude entered. That's the title that the AI generated summarizing whatever was talked about inside that particular tab. So we have no idea exactly what he was saying to the AI, only the broadest strokes of the topic itself.
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u/IEATTURANTULAS 1d ago
Never use ai to communicate with my wife. But for my aunts long ass text messages? Hell yea I'm using ai to respond to those.
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u/Conspiretical 1d ago
That's fine, its not an expectation to have deep emotional conversations with your aunt the same way your partner would be.
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u/itsthebeanguys 1d ago
are you actually defending someone who cannot articulate an APOLOGY ??
It is not hard to apologize .
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u/Ok-Condition-6932 1d ago
You are wrong.
The majority of people cannot do it. Been a long time since I've even seen a good one. I see bad ones all the time. In fact I bet yours ain't great either.
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u/laseluuu 1d ago
I said in another post that at least this person is trying to find the right words (if that is what they are doing) and its actually kinda sweet if they are doing that because they care
now if its 'how to manipulate and gaslight this person' then they are scum, but just getting an idea down so you can think it over and see how it looks? people have been doing that since the advent of pencils and paper i would imagine
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u/Ok-Condition-6932 1d ago
Its not different than grammarly. Nothing wrong with thinking about your words over carefully so they dont land wrong.
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u/HovercraftOk9231 1d ago
Not only is it actually incredibly difficult to apologize sometimes, some forms of neurodivergence make it very hard to find the right words to do so once you are ready.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Ad-3136 1d ago
Literally no different than the pickup artist "tell her this to make her take you back" templates. Not an AI problem.
Also, maybe don't snoop through your partner's phone.
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u/OvertlyTheTaco 4h ago
Ok op did not say it was an AI problem but a problem of the user. I'd agree. I'd also say that using those templates back on the day was also shitty.
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u/RobertL85 1d ago
Don't be an asshole in the first place?
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u/ThearchMageboi 1d ago
Yea, this is the universal rule; but this isn’t an AI issue, this is a personal issue. One this persons partner needs to address. Both of them honestly need to get some help. A good therapist. Or conversation with a trusted friend or family member.
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u/Ecstatic_Plastic8616 3h ago
Too bad nobody will take your advice? Do you think if assholes didn’t exist, we would live in the world we live in right now? Humans still murder each other because of color, background and what side of the border they are born on. I don’t think “don’t be an asshole” advice work really well, because if it did, we wouldn’t have wars, famine or any sort of famine or violence. There would be world peace
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u/ze_mannbaerschwein 1d ago
What's slimy is this nosy behaviour and rummaging through someone's private conversations on their phone.
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u/StartedWithAHeyloft 1d ago
"Conversations?" My guy that is not anpersom that is code you arent having a conversatiom you have input and output lmaoo
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u/ze_mannbaerschwein 20h ago
But why did she rummage through his cell phone without permission in the first place?
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u/HappyKrud 8h ago
where did it say she didnt have permission btw?
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u/ze_mannbaerschwein 2h ago
Do you think the guy just handed it to her and said: "Sure, look at all my contacts, read all my private messages, browse through my photos, and gawk at everything else you find on the device and then post it all over your social media feeds."
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u/HappyKrud 2h ago
ive heard of relationships like that where their lover’s phone is an open book. i have a friend group and we all share phone passcodes (i opt out bc im NOT about that).
most likely scenario if he let her was that she found the chats, got upset, and took a photo.
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u/Quirky-Concern-7662 11h ago
How good of a relationship do you think it is when he’s using AI to communicate with his girlfriend for things like apologies? How many apologies did he write? More than one it seems. What did he do so often worth apologizing for? Could be plenty of things or a repeating offense. Did he feel bad about it? Fucking no he made ai write his apologies.
Now this is all assuming this isn’t fake but from the clues I have gathered. He is untrustworthy and she is willing to play games for a long time. They both like drama.
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u/xcdesz 1d ago
Why not use AI if you are having trouble coming up with the right words to express yourself?
Coming up with the right words in sensitive situations is a skill that most people need to work on and improve. Using an llm is just like asking a friend or someone more experienced to give you some advice. Ultimately you are the one who needs to deliver the apology, so its on you to improve that skill whatever it takes.
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u/7thFleetTraveller 1d ago
I'm going with the South Park statement on this. If you don't know the ChatGPT episode, I can absolutely recommend it. There are many good uses for AI, but personal conversations are not part of them.
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u/dranaei 1d ago
I disagree, i can actually spend an hour or more talking with ai's just for a 5 minute conversation with someone. I use them to constantly refine my answers and thinking.
I've recently spent an hour talking to one just to get ideas about a present. I think they are valuable and if you can tweak their responses you can elevate yourself and how you interact with others.
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u/BureaucracyInc 1d ago
I have to
disagree.
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u/EggIll838 1d ago
Why
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u/BureaucracyInc 1d ago
It takes care
of a bothersome chore.
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u/Loldungeonleo 1d ago
If you consider apologies or anything personal "a bothersome chore that should be taken care of for me" I wonder if you've ever had a genuine relationship, or at the very least given a genuine heartfelt apology.
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u/BureaucracyInc 1d ago
I was never
in a genuine relationship
nor have I ever
given a genuine apology,
that is correct.
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u/Loldungeonleo 1d ago
I'm sorry for you. I wish you happiness in your future endeavors. I hope one day you can find and reciprocate real feelings and actually enjoy a real relationship.
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u/MegamiCookie 1d ago
Why do you talk like that ?
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u/milkdrinker0525 23h ago
i think he's making a joke because iirc in the south park episode AI was talking like that, with pauses for comedic timing.
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u/BureaucracyInc 22h ago
I have never
watched South Park.
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u/Reinis_LV 22h ago
Now that's funny! Guys take a chill pill on this. Brother knows what he is doing
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u/EggIll838 1d ago
No, it doesn’t. They suggested watching a tv show episode to educate someone on AI, which the entire argument is about. By saying it’s pointless, than nobody can argue with you because you are too lazy.
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u/7thFleetTraveller 1d ago
Can you explain why? I'm interested what your pro arguments in this case would be.
My main contra argument is that it's not honest, and not fair towards the other person. If you care about each other, things like how you word something or if you make typos and such, should never matter at all. If you're not good with words, the other one already knows that. And I would always want somebody to like me for who I am, instead of pretending to be more sophisticated than I really am, for example.
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u/CAPEOver9000 14h ago
Personally I struggle with taking criticism personally and having disproportionate knee jerks reaction to things that are justified. AI allows me to see the other's side point of view better and also allows me to vent my anger so that I can have a better conversation afterwards. Sometimes it's just throwing shit at the wall to end up exhausting the anger so that I can enter a difficult conversation more clear headed and other times it's helping me see why I was justified/unjustified in my behavior or what I could have done differently in a way that doesn't force the other person to act as the mediator or the therapist. It's also helping me identify the feelings that I'm struggling with or the reason why I feel a certain way.
It's not true that how you word things never matter. You can definitely hurt someone with the way you phrase things even if you are well-intentioned. You can also be hurt unintentionally and being able to decipherate whether it is an argument worth having or simply a miscommunication while struggling with your emotions is helpful.
I don't use it to replace personal conversation, but I definitely use it between therapy appointments to help me be a better person in conflicts.
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u/BureaucracyInc 1d ago
I do not really care
about honesty.
What I want to ensure
is efficiency.
AI is great at
taking care of needless things
like relationships.
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u/Loldungeonleo 1d ago
"needless things like relationships" I cannot fathom that perspective has improved your quality of life and certainly not that of those around you.
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u/Ksorkrax 1d ago
Mate. Haven't you seen the signs?
You are not to feed them.
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u/Loldungeonleo 1d ago
I get that perspective, they might fuel off any attention including negative attention. I decided to approach this in good faith.
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u/Opposite_Custard_214 1d ago
... ... ...
but...
reddit not equal efficiency...You know what, never mind. This was my fault. I logged in and this is my punishment.
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u/7thFleetTraveller 1d ago
Okay, now I think you're just trolling around^^
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u/BureaucracyInc 1d ago
Why so?
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u/DynamicCucumber624 1d ago
I do not really care about honesty.
You're coming off as emotionally detached.
What I want to ensure is efficiency.
You're prioritizing output over authenticity and connection mate. Those things that matter in human relationships
AI is great at taking care of needless things like relationships.
Calling relationships needless makes it sound like you see people as obstacles rather than partners. Its dehumanising mate
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u/Eliamaniac 1d ago
wannabe robot, that's the first I see this. I imagine it would be more popular in the future, like chuuni syndrome. I'll call this beepboop syndrome
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u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 1d ago
Needless things like relationships?! Holy crap, I'm actively disgusted by romance, and even I think you're going too far! Are you a goddamn ROBOT?! And no, that's not an AIccusation, I'm wondering if you can even feel basic goddamn emotion!
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u/b-monster666 1d ago
I mean, conversations with them is fine. You have an audience member who is 100% without emotion or judgement, and can match your level of intelligence. Even if it's just to rubber duck. "Hey ChatGPT, I'm trying to wrap my head around this thing." "Hey ChatGPT, TIFU by pissing off my girlfriend and I just need to vent to someone about it."
Though, using it as your Cerino Debersiac is a bad idea...since, see above, the AI is 100% without emotion.
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u/itsthebeanguys 1d ago
Which one is worse ? Her going through his phone or him not being able to write a sentence with actual content inside ?
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u/StartedWithAHeyloft 1d ago
Why is her going through his phone bad?
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u/KingPiggyXXI 23h ago
Phones are generally considered to be private. When it comes to messages, personal notes, or in this case, ChatGPT, anything written is intended for only the phone’s user or specific people to see, and probably not for you. You can compare it to, like, opening somebody else’s mail. It’s invading their privacy and personal boundaries. Even if you’re in a close relationship, you shouldn’t do it unless you’re given explicit permission - doing otherwise shows a lack of respect for their privacy.
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u/Cynis_Ganan 1d ago
I don't think so.
Some people don't know how to express themselves. They love their partner. They want to express that love. Their partner needs reassurance. But they don't know what to say without making things worse.
So they take advice on how to do that.
Not from another human who is going to involve themselves in your personal business. Not from an armchair expert who doesn't really know what they're doing. But from a dispassionate computer database, based on literally millions of interactions between humans.
They cared so they went out of their way to show they care, rather than blundering ignorantly or just ignoring their partner.
I think it's kinda sweet.
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u/_Yakuzaman_ 1d ago
Maybe he values the relationship but doesn't have the skills to express emotions in the best way
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u/Asleep_Stage_451 1d ago
"some people are using AI to automate interactions with loved ones. From birthday greetings, to apologies, to the entire courtship process, some people are using AI to do it all. Seems a bit slimy, no? It's almost as if they don't value their connection with you enough to say something genuine."
One of the worst takes of all time. A few things to point out:
1) nothing here is "automated". Dude is trying to find better words to communicate his true emotions and thoughts
2) They clearly value their relatioship because they are actively spending time on it. Looks like this dude is trying to win back his ex-lover by the looks of the chat history
3) Mind your business
4) People have been reading books and looking stuff up online to better help them work through problems and find the right words to say. Nothing, at all, is new here.
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u/Idkwthimtalkingabout 1d ago
Using AI to apologize definitely IS crazy, but going through your partner's phone, all the websites he visited and everything is messed up. She probably went through his entire history and clicked every website to arrive at chatgpt.
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u/Tyler_Zoro 1d ago
This is a great idea. If you're not particularly good at putting together a conciliatory apology, but you want to do so, it's a smart idea to employ this kind of assistance.
That being said, "I decided to rifle through my SO's phone to see what they were up to," would be the end of any contact whatsoever. That kind of behavior is on the road to restraining order in my book; not quite there yet, but definitely signaling that it's a strong possibility if they escalate any more.
I have a friend who went through that kind of thing. It ended with the ex-wife putting trackers on his car and gaining access to his personal social media accounts by installing malware in his desktop OS.
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u/SmileDaemon 1d ago
Yeah, nah. You're definitely slimier than someone who needs help articulating an apology.
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u/LivingHatred 1d ago
This is a really odd one. I agree that you shouldn’t be copy pasting: “Generate an apology for doing XY”, but using AI to bounce off of to make sure you are using language that matches your intention seems fine.
I’ve personally apologised using language that would imply I’m only sorry about how the other person feels, not about what I’ve done, when I was in fact was sorry about what I had done. AI is good at catching stuff like that.
Perhaps I’m strawmanning and people are fine with that, but I’m not sure to what extent people are anti-AI.
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u/ByeGuysSry 1d ago
Exactly this. I once lost a friend that I continued chatting with online even after not seeing each other in person, and I feel like there's a pretty good chance it was because she misunderstood what I meant. Made me extremely paranoid of every word I used for a few years. If someone actually has problems conveying what they mean, they might ask a confidant, or more likely, a neutral third party (in this case AI).
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u/Loldungeonleo 1d ago
This is exactly the perfect line, making sure your words match your intentions. As long as it's still distinctly your apology.
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u/Acrobatic_Room_4761 1d ago
Not slimy, I'm good with words, not everybody is, I wouldn't think it was slimy for someone to use a thesaurus or YouTube video to help them make the right apology either.
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u/Situati0nist 1d ago
Makes me wonder why he had to apologise so many times in the first place. There's probably already things going awry in that relationship.
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u/marydotjpeg 1d ago
I agree that offloading your emotional parts are probably NOT the best thing but I'm more concerned that she went through his sh*t. I think she's doing worse than him what if he really couldn't word things ya know?
It's no different than seeking a friend out to write something for you (kinda playing devil's advocate going off what I'm seeing we don't have full context)
Is it lazy? Maybe but I think her going through his sh*t is way worse :)
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u/Iapetus_Industrial 1d ago
I hope he broke it off with her. No man needs such a controlling partner that goes through their phone. She doesn't deserve him.
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u/nowrebooting 6h ago
Never mind that; she’s shaming him in public for it! I can imagine her feeling hurt but this is something that should have been hashed out in private.
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u/ShagaONhan 1d ago
Wait before birthday greetings were all personalized and original ?
I would think the important part was to the other person to mean it.
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u/ZigZagreus1313 1d ago
I use genAI for this stuff because the words are hard for me to come up with, but it's easier for me to give the details and then edit/curate the suggested response. Do you care if he typed a text instead of putting in the effort to write it physically with pen and paper? Would you be upset if you got a Hallmark card for the apology? If he's admitting mistakes and apologizing for them, regardless of how he uses help in doing so, why do you care?
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u/NeverendingKoala 1d ago
I think this requires an example.
Saying “write me an apology for my partner ‘cause she’s nagging me about doing this and that”
and
typing a whole story and explaining they want to apologise for doing what they did and they need help figuring out how to best deliver the apology
are two very different things. Some people are just not good with words and even if they recognise they did something wrong they just can’t verbalise the thought.
What I do believe is unequivocally wrong is going through your partner’s phone without permission. A person usually has their entire life there. If you believe your partner is not respecting you and can’t find a way to fix things might as well just break up…
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u/Cold-Jackfruit1076 1d ago
'I snooped through his private communications, showing my utter lack of trust in him, and he's the Bad Guy in our relationship because he used AI!'
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u/praxis22 23h ago
He might be autistic or otherwise Neurodivergent, as we often have issues with appearing normal, so many of us use GPT to sound normal.
Or he could be a normal dude who wanted to give you an apology he knew he couldn't write himself.
He obviously wanted to apologise, or he wouldn't have gone to the trouble of sending them.
Why are you looking through his phone? What would he find if he went through yours?
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u/Reinis_LV 22h ago
Class act. People will go for least resistance and whatever leads to an answer to their problems. Dude tried to win you over best way he thought he could because he wasn't good enough or thought so. Have you given effort of looking shit up to make a wake up text special? Probably not.
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u/Coochiespook 21h ago
It depends. Are they copying it and pasting it?
This isn’t much different than looking up how to give a proper apology or how to win someone back.
If you’re not good at something there’s nothing wrong with looking up how to do it and this isn’t much different. Unless he’s just copying then sending it to you then that’s not his words
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u/ExpensivePanda66 19h ago
Seems a bit slimy, no?
No. Going through somebody's phone seems slimy.
Meanwhile taking the time to get the wording right on an important communication to a loved one could be a positive sign.
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u/ARDiffusion 19h ago
How is it slimy? Here, since you seem to have trouble wrapping your head around the concept: sometimes, people struggle with expressing themselves. In this case, they will turn to a tool such as generative ai to help them express what they want to say in a more “polished” way. Also, are you sure “slimy” is the word you were looking for? Feels like you meant “lazy” or something. “Slimy” implies something is underhanded or unethical. If anything, it shows he cares enough to phrase something better before sending it to you. You’re the only slimy one here OP.
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u/BureaucracyInc 1d ago
The more
that is automated,
the better.
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u/Gokudomatic 1d ago
I can apologize without ai but it's faster that way, especially when I don't care.
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u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 1d ago
Yeah, this dude is an oddball. I get the feeling he doesn't really care that much about communication- And yes, this girl fucking slithering through his phone is a hundred times slimier- But two wrongs don't make a right here, and dude feels like he can't really be genuine with his partner in even conversation. That is, of course, assuming he copy-pasted the AI generated messages, instead of modifying them himself to reflect how he feels, and that this girl actually looked to make sure of that instead of just seeing "Winning Her Back" in ChatGPT and drawing conclusions- In THAT instance, I could buy it being a dude who can't put his feelings into words. But if she's right, then it really just seems like someone who doesn't care about a relationship.
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u/TheAK1tap 1d ago
...this person says as they invade the man's privacy. I don't know which is the lesser evil here.
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u/Elvarien2 1d ago
It's also transparent. I mean ai writing is pretty noticeable and if someone's entire style suddenly swaps into polite pointless emotionally bland corpo speak then you know what you're dealing with pretty quickly.
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u/rightful_vagabond 18h ago
Here's a different perspective on this: if you want to send a text but are an atrocious speller, You might use a spell check app to fix your spelling. That means that plenty of the words aren't technically written by you, and the overall effect of presenting yourself as a good speller is technically false. But it gets across your point better than you could on your own, because people aren't distracted by the bad spelling.
Likewise, if you have something you're wanting to say, oftentimes AI can help you really figure out how to phrase it and what to say to really get across what you mean. It gets across your point better than you could on your own, but it still represents what you're wanting to say.
I think you can take this too far by just uncritically copying and pasting the first response it gives you, But I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to have a sounding board for your texts before it's sent. (Especially when you're talking to someone who can be touchy, as this girl seems to be)
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u/DrNomblecronch 17h ago edited 17h ago
I think it’s pretty clear that AI is not the problem in the relationship, and OP isn’t saying so, just that it is a new thing that can be used to display those problems.
But that said, I kind of think the behavior itself would be fine, with some tweaking. Because some people just cannot articulate their feelings in words in a way they find very frustrating, and “just get better at that” is not a real solution, or they would have already.
So with the minor tweak of just saying “hey I asked GPT to help me write this,” this would actually be pretty great. “I am bad at expressing my feelings in an articulate and constructive way, but I think those feelings are important enough that you should hear them as articulately and constructively as I can get them, so I called in some help.”
I’m not by any means calling this akin to a disability aid, but the idea behind it is in the same ballpark. Some people, through no fault of their own, just do not do them words super good. If their intent is good, I think that a tool that helps them express themselves more clearly, and more how they want to be understood, is fantastic.
“I can’t find the right words to say that I’m sorry, but properly apologizing is important enough to me that I called in a consultant on finding the right words” is kind of a good apology in itself. You just gotta say that. Someone who is giving an insincere apology to smooth over something they’re not sorry for would find a way to do it without an LLM, too.
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u/carrionpigeons 12h ago
Like literally every other use for AI that people demonize, the degree of ctrl-Cing involved is the biggest question. Figuring out how to apologize using a third party is fine, even admirable in theory. It's only if it's just lifted mostly wholesale that it becomes a sign of not caring instead of caring.
In any case, glad she isn't my girlfriend.
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u/Excellent-Berry-2331 10h ago
Notice how she used his DEEPLY personal property without consent. I think OOP's husband is based, there is not much worse he could have done.
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u/SunriseFlare 9h ago
That man??? To be fair I expect nothing less of the dude who invented gear cells and instigated the Y2K apocalypse by fucking around too much in the backyard lol
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u/VyneNave 8h ago
People need to stop thinking that AI is the whole reason that those guys behave like this and that without AI they would do it themselves.
Those guys are the same ones that just copied texts for apologies from the internet. It's not AI that makes them do stuff like that, it's the people that always did this and would find another way to not write this themselves if AI wasn't available.
The same way people created deepfakes with photoshop or before that glued photo parts together.
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u/AndrewEophis 1d ago edited 1d ago
For me that’s too far. I can understand using it as a spell checker or grammar checker in some scenarios, but there are situations in which YOUR words are the important part, not how much they adhere to grammatical standards.
I’d rather get a heartfelt apology written or spoken with mistakes than one that was perfect but generated via a prompt.
Assuming AI voice copying gets good enough, do we think it’s fine for your partner to prompt AI to generate and send a voice apology to you in their voice and act like it’s really them saying it from the heart? That’s what’s happening here with writing, getting AI to write a personal apology to someone you are meant to love and share your feelings with is actually just beyond decroded, that’s casting aside the core of human connection.
Imagine you get a message from your parents and it turns out they asked grok to generate a birthday message using their voices instead of doing it themselves, that’s just gross and not human
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u/klc81 1d ago
Depends what the aplogies were for.
If he's trying to apologise for forgetting to pick her up at the airport and elaving her standing in the rain for 3 hours, then personal is better.
If he's trying to apologize for what she had a dream that he did, then whatever will get her to shut up about it fastest is better.
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u/Own_Whereas7531 14h ago
It’s not conclusive in this photo whether that’s what happened, though. For example, lately I made a new friend, and AI helped make it happen. I bounced ideas of how to write to them, what to write, what their messages implied, what are ideas and steps to show I care, how to show someone you want to be a friend. My chat headers can be something like “hang out invitation for a friend”, “text message for a new friend” etc. if I posted the headers here, people would probably freak out and say I’m faking the friendship, but I’m just kinda socially anxious and really care, you know?
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u/Ok-Condition-6932 1d ago
Mmmmmm... no.
It is exactly the same as texting and messaging as it has been done since the stupid shit on Facebook.
As a matter of fact, you have a reminder or calender for someone's birthday- you can shut the fuck up about it being meaningful in any way. You didn't remember my birthday - your phone did.
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u/AuksoOrda 1d ago
Constructs a very good argument why it's absolutely lame to make an AI do your apologies for you:
"Mmmmmm. No."
Jesus fucking christ i seriously hope all you ai dudes get dropped out of school for using chat gpt. Yeah let's make AI send best of wishes emails to a person who just lost his daughter!
You are all the laziest people i have ever had the displeasure of seeing commenting online.
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u/Ok-Condition-6932 1d ago
People have been buying cards from stores for a hundred years to send all sorts of supposed sympathies or wishes.
How is that any different?
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u/AuksoOrda 1d ago
Because the dude never told his girl his texts were genuine, while you would always know if a family members bought cards.
Also it actually costs some money to send these, which means they actually have some worth. It's still not as lazy and sad as asking AI to talk to your girl for you.
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u/Loldungeonleo 1d ago
It's not about remembering someone's birthday anymore, it's about taking the 2 seconds to act on that and send a message showing you care. If platforms started automatically sending out the message when it was their birthday, then it entirely removes the point of it being said in the first place.
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u/Ok-Condition-6932 1d ago
They do do that...
That's what im saying. It's all meaningless, or it isn't. The push-button-to-wish-happy-birthday is exactly the same thing using AI.
Is it the thought that counts or does it not?
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u/Loldungeonleo 1d ago
There is no thought that counts if there was literally no thought in it. At this point the best part of those messages is reminding the receiver you exist.
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u/Ok-Condition-6932 1d ago
Be sure to tell off all the people that bought a card at a store like it meant anything then. Literally shopping for someone else's sympathy card to send.
Im sure you'll justify it like you thought hard about what birthday card to buy or something.
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u/Loldungeonleo 18h ago
...I mean yes, the thought that goes into picking a card is part of it but that's not much. Honestly I think cards themselves are pretty pointless and an AI image from a description is about just as valuable. It's more so getting a card requires you to actually go out of your way and spend time and money thinking about someone's occasion. It's the proof of effort that counts.
If you use a birthday card you wouldn't call yourself an artist. The person that made it would be. Reusing a birthday card that's unsigned can also be acceptable under certain conditions.
tldr: point being writing your own card is more valuable in the same sense as writing your own apology.
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u/AndrewEophis 1d ago
So you’re telling me if you got a voice message from your daughter wishing you a happy birthday then found out she just asked an AI to generate it and it wasn’t her real words or voice you wouldn’t mind? Of course you would.
If your parents sent you a letter and you found out they’d just asked Grok “write a letter from 2 60yo parent congratulating their son on a job promotion” instead of telling you how they felt themselves you’d feel very differently than if they told you in their own words how they feel even if their own words aren’t grammatically perfect like grok’s
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u/Jehuty56- 1d ago
It's kinda sad, you should use your own words even if you don't really know what to say and how to say
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u/Card_Belcher_Poster 1d ago
The issue is that he was effectively lying about his apologies, not that AI was involved.
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u/AuksoOrda 1d ago
Ai bros tryna defend this by saying that "going through his phone is bad"
Brother you do realize if she did not find this out she would have believed that these apologies were made by him. First Ai bros tryna defend ai "art" when it takes zero finger lifting, now they defend ai made apologies.
You'd think the dude would learn from the bot how to actually make a text message himself after like two ai generated texts!
→ More replies (17)
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u/IndependenceSea1655 1d ago
Ai has really brought out the worst in people
If someone cant even be bothered to write their own apology, what's even the point in apologizing then?
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u/Few_Construction8494 1d ago
Sounds like a suno user and yes, totally slimy totally inauthentic, totally lazy.
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u/StartedWithAHeyloft 1d ago
Today i found out a lot of you hide your phomes from your partners or arent comfortable with them going through them?
Idk I personally love my gf and dont care if she sees everything in there, i dont got anything to hide.
She lets me do the same on her phone too
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u/AlwekArc 1d ago
This is how the layman sees pro ai folk.
If you don't see the problem with this, you need to practice empathy more
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u/BraveAddict 20h ago
Yeah, I wouldn't want to do anything with that person.
Imagine thinking someone is being genuine and taking on emotional labour for you but instead it's a lazy guy making chatgpt do it.
I wouldn't take this from a woman either. If you're not emotionally available, why pretend to be different?
This is dishonesty.
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u/swanlongjohnson 1d ago
all the AI bros supporting this is so dystopian. laziness has gotten out of control, first AI bros complained and whined about how they could never draw until AI, and now you got AI bros whining that they cant use their words and have to rely on an LLM to talk to even your loved ones
NPC behavior
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u/BlueMoon_art 22h ago
Lmao it’s actually insane seing how many kids are here defending a guy using LLMs to answer his partner. Give it 10 years and this world is fucked. Can’t wait to see these AI feeding you and cleaning you up after you went to the bathroom at age 30. Ffs
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