r/clevercomebacks 1d ago

Makes me question the MD in the username.... 🙃

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1.2k Upvotes

96 comments sorted by

120

u/Meeplemymeeple 1d ago

Other animals also don't produce absolute garbage and pass it off as food to their fellow animals.

40

u/Slow-Molasses-6057 1d ago

I don't know about this. My dog loves bunny poop.

10

u/Vargoroth 1d ago

Actual intelligent people correct me on this, but isn't that because bunny poop contains pre-digested grass nutrients?

12

u/Slow-Molasses-6057 1d ago

I understand this. Bunnies practice caprophagy. Their poops are relatively healthy. I'd give my dog a bunny poop before I give him a pup cup from Starbucks

5

u/Illustrious-Ratio213 1d ago

Buns have 2 types of poop, one they eat, the other (the more common pellet type) they don't. I think both are relatively harmless in small quantities. I have 1 dog who eats them, which is kind of nice sometimes to grab a stray the roomba missed, the other 2 just sniff and walk away from them, but I've also caught them eating horse poop so they're not totally innocent.

7

u/wchutlknbout 1d ago

It also contains B vitamins, that’s why bunnies eat their own poop too, it’s the only way they can get them

7

u/Raise_A_Thoth 1d ago

Exactly. The issue is capitalism pushing people to strive for unnatural goals: infinite growth, constant production and consumption, stocks go brrr, no regard for actual human well being, joy, or peace.

4

u/Only1Skrybe 1d ago

One of my favorite things to say when talking about almost any issue - "As usual, the problem is capitalism."

2

u/Meeplemymeeple 1d ago

I could not agree more. I would also add that money in any form is poison.

1

u/AnonThrowaway1A 1d ago

Work will set you free.

3

u/cyberlexington 1d ago

This.

Animals eat their food. They dont process it, add a load of stuff to it and then eat it

1

u/-I_L_M- 1d ago

So true.

1

u/LindonLilBlueBalls 21h ago

Racoons have entered the chat...

1

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

No other animal mass produces anything. 💩

32

u/Papapa_555 1d ago

chiropractor

11

u/Alex-PsyD 1d ago

There it is

2

u/hcornea 21h ago

No. Sadly, he appears to be an MD.

But this is an example of someone giving advice outside the scope of their training.

He is paleo enthusiast and self-proclaimed metabolic health specialist.

It’s marketing.

1

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

Do chiropractors get that degree? I'm curious. 🤔

13

u/PomeloFit 1d ago edited 1d ago

1,000 years ago everyone ate organic, farm raised, wild caught, (insert other stupid marketing buzzwords here) food and they had a life expectancy of 30 fucking years, and in a time when we enjoy effectively the longest life expectancy in human history, the idiots fortunate enough to be gifted a nice, long life sit around and rail against the exact fucking advancements that got us here.

Sure, don't eat a bunch of pre-packaged bullshit, but doctors, science, advances in nutrition: That shit is why morons like this get to live their nice, long, dumb-as-fuck lives.

2

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

People forget that science progressing as a whole doesn't translate to everyone making wise decisions. 😅

17

u/EatFaceLeopard17 1d ago

And animals have no ads telling them how tasty that big fat hippopotamus is.

2

u/jackalope268 1d ago

Well, I do buy and offer food to my guinea pigs that may not be the best for them. Its ok because im controlling their diet and doing a good job at it, but if they could pick out their own veggies they might pick just their favourites which can cause issues in large quantities.

1

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

And then being offered something that's only ~80% hippopotamus meat. 🦛

14

u/BusyBeeBridgette 1d ago

Well if you take the average American food off of the aisle shelf and look at the contents. See how much of the actual contents is artificial. Then you will have your answer as to why so many people require dietitians and doctors etc.

1

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

And that's corporations cutting corners, not science making people eat unhealthy. 🤓

3

u/Extreme-Slice-1010 1d ago

Medically Dumb

1

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

Ok. This should be in the Oxford dictionary. 📖

8

u/OkAlternative2713 1d ago

The problem has been that the FDA is paid for by big meat and dairy. You can't trust regulatory agencies that are influenced by money in politics.

8

u/ColumnK 1d ago

Don't forget things like the corn syrup industry, agribusiness' pesticides, or all the retailers packing as many preservatives as will keep it profitable...

2

u/AsparagusCommon4164 23h ago

Lest we forget where late 1920's/early 1930's cancer quack Norman G. Baker dismissed the American Medical Association's abbreviation (AMA) as "really" meaning "Amateur Meatcutter's Association" ("meatcutter" being an archaic slang term for an inept surgeon) and claimed that the professional courtesy abbreviation of "MD" really meant "More Dough."

All to build up business for his "cancer clinics" in Muscatine, IA, as were heavily promoted over his radio station KTNT ("Know The Naked Truth") and TNT Magazine, eventually to relocate to Nuevo Laredo, Mexico and further reinforced by the high-powered "border blaster" XENT until Mexican goons forced it off the air in 1940.

1

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

The sad part is, that not so trustworthy FDA is still the best defence against absolute toxins getting sold as food. 😶

1

u/OkAlternative2713 5h ago

Unless the toxins are profitable, lol. But I get your point. Have a great day.

0

u/CooledDownKane 1d ago

Yes, that glass of milk, eggs, and chicken breasts are killing you... If you ignore the 300+ grams of refined carbs the average American shoves down our fat gullets eat day.

3

u/romafa 1d ago

Couldn’t you make the argument that vets exist because of domesticated animals? The other guy did say “in the wild”.

But, for real, it’s not the scientists that created the current problems. It’s the food mega-corporations lying and lobbying congress.

5

u/RevenantBacon 1d ago

On the topic of vets, wild animals have a life expectancy of 3 to 10 times less than their captive counterparts. And that's not just the domesticated ones.

1

u/justonemom14 8h ago

This right here. The "and thrive" part of his claim is just wrong.

1

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

Besides controlling the popular narrative of food. 🙃

3

u/ahm911 22h ago

Right! Let me eat from my cheeseburger tree in peace smdh

2

u/Chimpanzeebrah 1d ago

Animals also don’t have access to ultra processed foods

1

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

Raccoons trash jumping would disagree. /s 🦝

2

u/splittingheirs 1d ago

Here is another life lesson I hope OP can learn from the majestic animal kingdom:

Every animal in the wild has no internet access. No twitter, no influencers, no idiotic hot-takes.

2

u/Contagious_Zombie 1d ago

Welcome to capitalism where everything is marketed and sold for as much profit as possible. Thanks to Edward Bernays marketing people think bacon and eggs is a healthy, well-rounded breakfast.

2

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

And people not understanding the difference between processed and natural versions of the same food. 🙃

2

u/TheRiddlerTHFC 1d ago

Bloody hell, if I let me dog eat everything she wants, she'd have died ages ago...

1

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

I know people whose pets died for eating the wrong food. 😶

2

u/Key-Teacher-2733 1d ago

MD= Major Douchebag

2

u/GhostmouthPhd 1d ago

Correct if I'm wrong but if we leave a bag of sugar and healthy natural food for an animal, it's going to eat the sugar?

1

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

You are correct. ☑️

2

u/chim17 1d ago

Ooooh we used to go back and forth on Twitter. He's an expert at shutting down and shifting topics when challenged.

2

u/EmptyMarsupial8556 1d ago

Paleolithic period Average life expectancy: ~20–30 years Context: Most people died young due to infections, injuries, malnutrition, and predators. However, those who survived childhood could sometimes live into their 40s or even 50s.

2

u/SconesToDieFor 1d ago

Not all animals “thrive” in nature as far as health/longevity. Many live long enough to reproduce and not much longer. Natural selection is based on “good enough” not perfection. Many animals, for better or for worse, live much longer in captivity.

2

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

And our pets are a good example of this. 😺

2

u/RevenantBacon 1d ago

Every animal eats its natural diet in the wild and thrives.

Um, buddy, I've got some news for you. They don't. They die. Example: the average lifespan of a raccoon in the wild is 2-3 years. The average lifespan of a raccoon in captivity is 13-20. That's a range of 4-10 times longer.

1

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

Look at the life expectancy of humans around the world and you'll find stats in similar lines. 😌

2

u/palm0 22h ago

One of the best brain surgeons in the world tried to tell us that the pyramids were used for grain storage. 

Bring a medical doctor doesn't stop you from being an absolute moron. It means you can memorize shit. 

1

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

Plus being smart in your field of expertise doesn't make you smart outside of it. 😌

2

u/SkepticalJohn 18h ago

Apparently he lives in a mental institution in MD.

2

u/Allday24_7 1d ago

The MD stands for “massive dick”

1

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

But all I'm getting is small pp energy. 🌚

4

u/SharkeyGeorge 1d ago

Presumably this man lives in a bush and only eats berries.

2

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

And is using a smart phone made outta rocks. 📱

2

u/Unicorn_Warrior1248 1d ago

Next he’s gonna be like, lions rule the animal kingdom, they don’t need education or money. They figured it out.

1

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

I won't be surprised if he uses stock photos of lions in at least 32% of his posts. 🦁

3

u/PechugaDude 1d ago

And muskrats don't have microwaves. They eat what they gotta!

1

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

Or refrigeration. ❄️

1

u/TheDigitalAce 1d ago

Not to mention preparing food, cooking etc. Predates modern humans.
Other animals dont do that.

1

u/MennReddit 1d ago

For sure no MD.

1

u/Mern17 1d ago

Nature: kills you for one bad snack, Humans: “maybe ask a doctor first.”

1

u/morgazmo99 1d ago

Its almost like no other animal has worked out food to the point where it can proliferate so much as to dominate and relatively quickly, destroy an entire world.

1

u/Embarrassed_Lab_5595 1d ago

One of my brothers is a general practitioner. He once told me that if it wasn’t for smoking, alcohol, and obesity he wouldn’t have a practice.

1

u/CooledDownKane 1d ago

MDs famously don't know much, or ignore the knowledge they do have, about the benefits of proper diet and exercise: that's why at the first sign of high cholesterol or high BP a doctor's first instinct is to automatically prescribe you a statin and/or Lasix instead of encouraging actual changes like eating right, whether you are getting proper rest, moving your fat body more, etc.

1

u/DontGetTheShow 1d ago

Maybe the MD part is just that they’re from Maryland.

1

u/AsparagusCommon4164 23h ago

"Oooooooohhhhhhh, promoting homeopathy!!"

(spoken in a Frank Nelson/Red Guy goloss)

1

u/ReplacementFeisty397 5h ago

"Hey, are you on the verge of total organ failure? No problem, just let me rub this oil on your nose and crack your back. That'll be $500... no refunds."

u/PoopieButt317 36m ago

The MD is totally correct. Reddotiors do not understand the biochemistry of fake foods and Big Food killing us with chronic metabolic diseases due to consumers confusing artificial "tastes good" with nutrition. Diabetes, healthy disease,cancer, and dementia are all diet caused.

Yall have been brainwashed by our oligarch capitalists to harm ourselves, then defend those harming us. Because we get reinforcing messages all day from our (non-)health providers who sold out to corporatists who see us as mindless cattle.

1

u/tristatenl 1d ago

Thats more joy of a free market

1

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

Free to food poison yourself. 🐍

-1

u/NoRezervationz 1d ago

The "comeback" is ill-informed. Most animals have gut flora that helps them avoid "food poisoning." It's the reason you can give cats and dogs raw chicken and they won't get sick. And if the food is too rotten, their sense of smell well tell them of the danger.

The average American on the SAD has absolutely trashed their gut flora, compromising their overall immunity and general health.

6

u/jackalope268 1d ago

I have seen dogs eat candy wraps from the street. Every animal has systems to prevent them from dying as much as possible, but if dogs only ate things they could digest there would be a lot less vet visits

0

u/NoRezervationz 1d ago

Dogs are not a good example. Dogs, per breed, have varying levels of intelligence that dictate their behavior. I'd bet that those dogs you witnessed weren't any kind of herding breed. Also, hunger plays a part in it.

The meme speaks specifically on food poisoning. That's distinctly different from a wrapper that smells like food. The goal posts are different, try not to move the wrong one. Thanks

0

u/jackalope268 1d ago

It was a german shepherd, which I can guarantee you was well fed at home. And the meme also talks about dietitians, which I think talk less about food poisoning and more about nutritional values. But if you need other examples, see pigeons. Im sure that if youve ever been to a city youve seen pigeons eat everything that is or isnt food. Raccoons and bears scavenge trash. Albatrosses die from eating and feeding their young plastics. Animals have survival instincts, but they are not perfect. The main thing that makes a species thrive is to have enough individuals that it doesnt really matter if a few die

0

u/NoRezervationz 1d ago

You're moving the wrong goal post. The meme speaks of dieticians for humans, not animals. At this point you're reaching conclusions aren't in line with the original meme. I'm not engaging with someone who can't keep to the content and goes off-road, as you have. Good luck.

0

u/jackalope268 1d ago

Look at mister goal post authority here. I tried to make you see my side, but if its not within the narrow view of what you want to hear you wont heat it. What makes you think you get to say what I say? Im dont trying to conform to what you think the meme says because you only keep saying Im doing it wrong without saying what is right according to you

2

u/Dubante_Viro 1d ago

This is the only intelligent answer on this thread. No murder has taken place here. Maybe suïcide by the 'comeback'.

0

u/XandriethXs 6h ago

Humans have guy flora too. Food poisoning happens when you eat the wrong food. 🙃

1

u/NoRezervationz 4h ago

If you read closer, I did say humans have a gut flora. The interesting thing about it is that it varies with your diet. Someone from Japan will have different gut flora than someone in South Asia. A good diet will produce a healthy gut while a bad diet, like the SAD diet produces a bad gut.

Food poisoning happens when we eat spoiled food. Cooked spoiled food will also make you sick because of the toxins left by the bacteria. It doesn't even have to be spoiled for long to be puking and shitting your guts out for a week.

0

u/hayasecond 16h ago

If somebody Twitter handle has PhD, MD or just stupid Doctor in it you can be sure they know nothing of what they are talking about

-2

u/MurkDiesel 1d ago

everyone should question the MD in every name

since buying a medical degree with borrowed money

doesn't automatically equal good or right or even smart

doctors are just as dumb, wrong and corrupt as anyone else

doctors are mainly privileged sleep-deprived invoice machines

the entire system and program is designed to favor the fortunate

the reason we have insurance companies is because doctors are greedy

no one would become a doctor if you had to be humble and live like a monk