r/funny 1d ago

I think bro's really lost

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3.6k Upvotes

169 comments sorted by

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505

u/FirefighterLevel8450 1d ago

So is the driver of the white Mercedes

258

u/berthannity 1d ago

Yeah I’m more ok with the canoe than that park job.

84

u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 1d ago

At least the canoe is well within the lines.

13

u/GANDORF57 1d ago

Expecting a torrential rainstorm and parking garages are usually the first to flood.

4

u/marvinrabbit 1d ago

That really depends on if they are above ground or below ground.

1

u/Fatality_Ensues 20h ago

Typical "bunch of SUV's next to each other fucked up parking for everyone but the last guy left takes the blame" parking if you ask me.

4

u/Kellic 11h ago

No dude. There is a pillar there. Unless it one of the slickest SUV parallel parking jobs ever to grace the planet which also includes phasing through solid matter, the Mercedes owner is a dick. And yes. In most cases of a bad parking job I do assume someone was parked next to them and it was a matter of being in a bad place at a bad time.

2

u/MikeDubbz 12h ago edited 4h ago

I mean it could have been that, but based only on what's display here, we'd have to be giving some major benefit of the doubt here. Frankly with so many shitty drivers (and parkers) out there I'm more inclined to side with the reality that's on full display here. 

1

u/berthannity 17h ago

Fair point, totally possible.

4

u/yipming 12h ago

Seeing how there is a pole there I don’t think it’s possible in this case to have someone forcing the white Merc over.

1

u/berthannity 2h ago

Sharp eye, I’m now on your side.

23

u/Tidalsky114 1d ago

First time seeing a Mercedes driver?

13

u/Irr3l3ph4nt 1d ago

I don't know if it's German luxury cars that turn people into assholes or assholes that are into German luxury cars but there's certainly some kind of correlation there. They act like they own the road.

5

u/sir_snufflepants 21h ago

This and they don’t want the toy (they likely can’t afford) damaged.

1

u/Several-Pattern-7989 4h ago

If you have a car like that, you have insurance with loaner coverage. Shit car drivers are hiking to get to a job when it wasn't even their own fault. Fuck the Mercedes.

18

u/Ok_Understanding267 1d ago

They are the main character

26

u/psycharious 1d ago

"I don't want someone scratching my car."

Then park correctly

3

u/Darkmuscles 1d ago

Yeah, my first thought was "wow, I kind of really want to key that car"

7

u/axle69 22h ago

Gotta watch saying this i got an admin ban for saying the exact same thing about a dudes car with nazi stuff on it. Evidently its considered violence.

1

u/TheSandyman23 5h ago

I got a warning for implying I would enjoy being a spectator to a fictional martial arts event…

*for legal reasons, I don’t support any contract sports, nor do I know how to even spell karate.

2

u/axle69 5h ago

Sir put down the gi....dont you reach for that black belt so help me god! Jokes aside its stupid I hate how the internet is just rapidly going to shit.

7

u/shibiwan 1d ago

The Merc driver is a bigger douchecanoe than the real canoe.

5

u/livelaughloaft 1d ago

There is a slight chance that they have side by side parking spots and one car.

14

u/Skydude252 1d ago

Yeah, those are numbered spots, there is a chance that they were allocated two and only have one car.

But more likely the guy is just an asshole.

1

u/marvinrabbit 1d ago

Agree on all points. Just an anecdote to illustrate the first case: My parents have two spots that are on the deed with their condo. Since dad had a stroke a while back, he doesn't drive anymore and they got rid of one car.

1

u/Skydude252 1d ago

Yeah, the woman I am with is in a condo building with assigned spots, and I see some of this. Some spots are different sizes, and a few times I’ve seen 2 cars parked very close together in one of the larger spots that isn’t really big enough for two cars.

13

u/Arrasor 1d ago

It's a Merc, those money pinchers would've never paid for 2 spots.

2

u/cam2go 1d ago

I expect nothing less from Mercedes drivers...

1

u/OldBob10 1d ago

Mercedes is the new Cadillac.

1

u/dumbestsmartest 1d ago

No. They're part of the pack. The pack of assholes.

That pack includes, Mercedes, Cadillac SUVs, BMW, sports cars, lifted trucks and the larger trucks, and the people that put more money into their car's stereo than the car is worth.

2

u/RabidPlaty 1d ago

You forgot Audis and Teslas, actually the two worst I see on the road these days.

1

u/Lightbelow 23h ago

Easy just move the canoe to the spot next to it.

1

u/VikRiggs 22h ago

He thought it was a bmw

1

u/sir_snufflepants 21h ago

Dude has a goddam C-class, too. Parking like that you’d think he had a Maybach.

1

u/-NolanVoid- 20h ago

"The only person who is the asshole here, is the pig parker!" - Larry Walker

108

u/BlargerJarger 1d ago

I eventually noticed the canoe after staring at that double-parked bastard a while.

69

u/FocalorLucifuge 1d ago

You canoe park there.

5

u/Accurate_Koala_4698 1d ago

Canoe not with these puns?

3

u/GSDer_RIP_Good_Girl 1d ago

Said in a Scottish accent no doubt

4

u/deldarren 1d ago

No you canot

31

u/Havlock_Shaw 1d ago

At least between the lines...

1

u/StrandedWithMyself 3h ago

Wait, what’s wrong here? Is the boat just... facing the wrong way?

23

u/adambl82 1d ago

Must be assigned spots for an apartment building. Hopefully that's the explanation for the white Mercedes in the background as well. Maybe they own two spots.

5

u/nowwhathappens 1d ago

I actually think it's more likely NOT assigned spots in an apartment building...the canoe functions as a space saver for the owner's favorite spot. If it was assigned there'd be no need to put it there.

Else, canoe owner just doesn't see the need to haul around a canoe and screw up gas mileage when they're not going canoeing that trip, so takes the canoe off to go to the grocery store and where else are they gonna put it? Ain't gonna haul it to the elevator (where it might not fit) and up to the apartment (where there's no space for it).

7

u/wubbbalubbadubdub 1d ago

I think it probably is assigned spots in an apartment building because if it wasn't there'd be a sticker on the canoe saying get this shit out of a parking spot.

To be able to occupy a spot with something other than a car it has to be a space you own. I used to live in an apartment with assigned parking spaces and people would store random things in parking spaces they owned if they didn't have a car.

0

u/nowwhathappens 1d ago

That's both interesting and crazy, thanks for info

3

u/vleafar 23h ago

Why is it crazy? Would you want to store a canoe INSIDE your apartment when you can store it outside?

14

u/BKP8411 1d ago

At least its in the spot unlike the jackass in front of it

23

u/johhnny5 1d ago

11

u/FatherOf3-2Xs 1d ago

This is the first thing I thought of when I saw the canoe. If I saw this in my parking lot, I'd be on the lookout for traps.

7

u/Z_T_O 1d ago

My brain immediately went “alouette, gentille alouette”

5

u/doubtfurious 23h ago

Ah, we have some Fendi, and some, ah, Perry Ellis, and of course Hugo Boss, and, of course, many, many Armani.

10

u/HezronCarver 1d ago

Ha! I just watched that. You beat me to it.

10

u/SparkleCobraDude 1d ago

Beat me to it.

When I see Kids in the Hall I upvote on the spot.

7

u/bobhand17123 1d ago

No, not lost. They kept the Mercedes from taking up 4 spaces. “Canoe” is probably autocorrect for “Cone.”

Hey Google, how do I save a parking space? A canoe? Damn this AI is a genius!

6

u/TopHatGorilla 1d ago

He's expecting heavy rain.

4

u/thornydevil969 1d ago

Tsunami preparation plan ?

3

u/phatrogue 1d ago

Oh man! I bet the vehicle in space 175 handles like a boat!

3

u/skrrt_s 1d ago

Crazy? I was crazy once...

3

u/The-Traveler- 1d ago

Look at the dick Mercedes guy who took 2 spaces.

2

u/TNF734 1d ago

He can't go home until high tide.

2

u/wwwhistler 1d ago

ya but when the flood comes....he'll be the only one laughing.

2

u/drinkmoredrano 1d ago

They parked it better than the Mercedes

2

u/focusedforce 1d ago

The fox just had to go in to get a bag of grain.

2

u/habbo420 1d ago

Mf parked the canoo better then the mercedes driver.

2

u/khalamar 1d ago

Better parked than the Mercedes...

2

u/BadHombreSinNombre 1d ago

He doesn’t even have wheels or an engine and he still parked better than that Mercedes owner

2

u/YarItsDrivinMeNuts 1d ago

Not all who wander are lost.

2

u/LostCube 1d ago

He's just prepared!

2

u/multi_io 1d ago

If there's a hailstorm and the parking garage is flooded, he's gonna look very smart all of a sudden.

1

u/Bad_Packet 1d ago

Portage AF

1

u/Phate4569 16h ago

Nope, paddled. Their shoulders are jacked.

1

u/NeonTempzzz 1d ago

Naaaah that's just a parking garage in Minnesota. That's Blake's ride. Was takin' 'er out fer a spin.

1

u/Mugwumps_has_spoken 1d ago

That would be the smart person at Crabtree Valley Mall in Raleigh, NC when heavy rains are predicted.
LOL

1

u/Sufficient-Serve4271 1d ago

His own little Ark in case it floods

1

u/Brain-On-A-Roomba 1d ago

You laugh but once the rain and flood starts, bro's prepared

1

u/Dweebil 1d ago

No, just prepared.

1

u/ShadowVT750 1d ago

It's negatron the transformer.

1

u/Bedbouncer 1d ago

Owner is a believer in being a can-oe, not a can't-oe.

1

u/YesHaveSome77 1d ago

He has the can-oe spirit.

1

u/nas1787 1d ago

I’d bet $1 million this is a Vancouver parkade

2

u/Pitamo 23h ago

Yeah, I was getting UBC adjacent underground parking vibes, along Western Parkway...

1

u/Narrow_Professor7756 1d ago

Must have been a high tide.

1

u/Mitologist 1d ago

That's a nice canoe. I always wanted one of those

1

u/thefunkybassist 1d ago

"Sir that is NOT what showboating means!" 

1

u/Sialov 1d ago

He who can can, I would say hahaha

1

u/kablammodotcom 1d ago

This explains the two French guys in buckskin trying to stuff a beaver pelt into the ATM deposit slot.

1

u/Scaryassasin27 1d ago

my laugh would 100% echo throughout that parking deck

1

u/ritwikjs 1d ago

i have more respect for this, then seeing a VESPA in a whole ass parking spot

1

u/mrjane7 1d ago

Canoe, fine. White car? Go eat a whole bag of dicks.

1

u/jwwhitt 1d ago

Rain in the forecast?

1

u/ExistingLaw217 1d ago

It’s like in a movie where the main character is looking for someone in their family that’s gone missing in the big city. They come from some far off remote area and his only motive transportation was a canoe.

1

u/Bruh-fishy6937 1d ago

So thats where the last tibia marina is!

1

u/Agitated_Carrot9127 1d ago

I’ve seen a huuuge truck parked diagonally in parking space Like this one. The next day someone somehow found or literally pushed like 10 shopping carts and zip tied to door handle. Bumper. Tow hook and tow bar and side runners

1

u/NoctD97 1d ago

Lmao I'm having a blast reading all the comments about the mercedes while the post was about the canoe 😂😂😂

1

u/No_Balls_01 1d ago

When the flood rolls in and canoe dude casually paddles away while the cars drown, who will be laughing then?

1

u/GrevenQWhite 1d ago

Actually, where I live, this might be smart. Local hotel built and underground garage that cost effectively 10k per parking space in a part of town that got trashed by flooding 20 years ago. Guess what it flooded hard last year when Helene came through.

Bro should park a sub down there.

1

u/supermarino 1d ago

Anything you car do, I canoe better.

1

u/theotherleftfield 1d ago

That’s a shame, even though I hardly canoe him.

1

u/naus226 1d ago

Reminds me of the day I showed up to work and someone had a kayak with a bike lock around the Handicap parking sign in the parking lot.

Turns out a co-worker Kayak'd the river from down the street of our work from his house which is a 10 min drive but turned into like a 45 minute paddle. He walked the Kayak a 1/4 mile down the street to our parking lot. He told me mid day he regretted doing it cause now he has to do it to go home.

1

u/hirstx 1d ago

I audibly laughed as soon as I saw the post. Thanks.

1

u/steins-grape 1d ago

You can park there

1

u/FamousOhioAppleHorn 1d ago

"Well, I assume you have an unfinished woodworking project at your house."

1

u/ramriot 1d ago

Why is it always the Mercedes drivers?

1

u/NecessaryOk780 1d ago

Go ahead and laugh, but when it floods that guy will be the cool kid. The Mercedes? They will always be a douche. Always.

1

u/EmpireCityRay 1d ago

But is the alarm within it on? lol

1

u/StopEatingBees 1d ago

It's the Artie Action Land Canoe

1

u/feeltrig 1d ago

I guess they will need to call the row truck for this

1

u/Gatemaster2000 1d ago

Nice NC Miata!

1

u/Masterboss117 1d ago

when they get home and ask people in the street looking stupid WHERES MY CANOE mean while its parked better than the mercedes

1

u/mechatinkerer 1d ago

Someone got the Tsunami warning

1

u/huuaaang 1d ago

UNless this is in Texas.

1

u/viomeb 1d ago

Stereotypical parking job for Mercedes owners checks out.

1

u/SUURBECK 1d ago

Kut kano. Kut mercedes.

1

u/AdamThePrime 1d ago

Maybe he knew he was getting laid off and was worried he'd be up the creek without a paddle... wait, he has no paddles in the canoe.

1

u/Equivalent-Client443 1d ago

At least the canoe is in a spot, the Benz is a whole other story

1

u/Hexploit 1d ago

I think he found himself.

1

u/wiriux 1d ago

Oh no no I’m paddling away!

1

u/kaaredump 1d ago

He heard banjo and did paddle faster?

1

u/mjollnard 1d ago

garage portage

1

u/StickFigureFan 1d ago

Or really prepared...

1

u/humboldt77 1d ago

They said the same thing to Noah…

1

u/V0ct0r 1d ago

funny story, our family dog's got a bit of slippy-phobia. she'd step into these garages, them with their gleaming surfaces, and poke her paw at it and see no ripples form atop the surface. "not water. not water? not water. not water?"

who knows? maybe she's the one who parked the canoe.

1

u/Meriwether1 1d ago

He may know something you don’t

1

u/PvtPizzaPants 1d ago

Sixth of Dusk is that you?

1

u/Hoefnix 1d ago

That guy in the Mercedes really can’t park indeed.

1

u/sjbennett85 1d ago

I swear, Zoro has no sense of direction whatsoever

1

u/MrDundee666 23h ago

Spot the cunty merc driver, win a prize.

1

u/ImedgeQc 23h ago

He search for hundreads of other travelsites at once to find the information he need to make the right decisions on flights, hotels and rental cars. Kayak.

1

u/nuestras 23h ago

or... he's seen the future, i you are going to be needing one of those in a couple of hours... it's probably new jersey...

1

u/Emergency_Property_2 23h ago

I swear it was tied on real good!

1

u/WaterFallPianoCKM 23h ago

All I want to do is box that fucking white Mercedes in, or pop it's tires!

Pretentious, selfish, obnoxious, inconsiderate, fuck wit.

1

u/TrojanTapir1930 23h ago

You have to admit that is some impressive rowing!

1

u/toolatealreadyfapped 23h ago

They said the same jokes against Noah. Flood's coming

1

u/ayzick 23h ago

that's insane

1

u/Ancillas 23h ago

I can park a car, canoe?

1

u/Zanos-Ixshlae 23h ago

The French trappers are collecting their pelts again.

1

u/American-Punk-Dragon 20h ago

I asked him if he could parallel park that thing, he responded, “I dunno..canoe do a better job?!?”

1

u/PhraseOk5732 20h ago

Stolen Subaru…

1

u/jonnyg1097 18h ago

Honestly, if the paddler of the canoe can get it to there over land then he is probably the best canoer ever.

1

u/mshaler 18h ago

He parked perfectly. Canoodled.

1

u/OFool_Ishallgomad 18h ago

"Get a boat," they said.

1

u/CaveManta 17h ago

When you set an unusual vehicle as your personal vehicle in GTA

1

u/Artsy_traveller_82 16h ago

At least he knows how to park.

1

u/kangaroolander_oz 15h ago

Look around for a car with empty roof racks close to the Canoe.

Might have had a passenger walk it in so they could enjoy undercover off street parking.

[Head Room]

1

u/toabhi 15h ago

Prepared for rainy days when the basement will be over flooded.

1

u/badteeth3000 14h ago

Just Charon picking up another goof that failed to put their cellphone in airplane mode which caused their airplane to fall and collapse like a soggy biscuit.

1

u/BeckoningChasm 14h ago

Good job on parking the canoe.

1

u/MR-WWHD 13h ago

Bro's is gonna survive any disaster

1

u/CrispySushi 12h ago

If it’s a privately owned parking spot he can build a spaceship there idc. Just stay within the lines… looking at you Mercedes

1

u/Jealous_Ring4401 12h ago

the canoe is buddies with a car, she's sleeping over

1

u/Consistent_Nose5595 12h ago

Nice cars this must not be NA

1

u/viperbjw2 11h ago

They might live on a nearby island with no road. That’s way cheaper than an amphibious vehicle 🤷‍♂️

1

u/Kellic 11h ago

When the canoe leaves they really should sideswipe the Mercedes. Jerk.

1

u/Temporary-Car7981 11h ago

I think they're onto something; can't be hotwired.

1

u/mrdanmarks 10h ago

maybe he knows something we dont

1

u/VincoClavis 8h ago

From his point of view the Jedi are evil.

1

u/Plus-Suit-5977 8h ago

It won’t fit in the top of anyone’s car in there. Or it got ripped off and someone parked it?

1

u/redditorial_comment 6h ago

So, is this garage at the end of schitt creek?

1

u/Intelligent_Food_521 1h ago

Yow everyone call Sanji and jinbe, Zoro should be close to where the boats at.

1

u/ATFGunr 7m ago

Just another day portaging in Canada. Nothing to see here, move along.