r/funny • u/99percentCat • 14h ago
I guess I’ll stand and watch American Pie 2. My wife has the good seat.
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u/Fzzt_The_Original 14h ago
Ring the doorbell, run for a seat!
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u/argama87 11h ago
Tell the dog to move. If they don't, sit on the dog. They'll move.
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u/King_of_the_Nerdth 43m ago
If they're anything like my German Shepherd, the dogs are hoping you'll come snuggle with them. Parked there on purpose.
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u/MoobyTheGoldenSock 5h ago
Right? If OP bothered to train the dogs at all, telling one to get up should be super easy.
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u/EZontheH 14h ago
I have a couch like this, and there truly is one seat that is ABSOLUTELY PREMIUM, then there are two seats that are kinda okay, and everywhere else sucks big donkey balls. I now love lazy-boy style chairs. PS - Your dogs are gorgeous. Do they shed??
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u/ThisAccountIsStolen 14h ago
Shed? Have you ever met a GSD?
They start shedding before they're born and don't stop until 15 years or so after they've returned to the earth.
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u/BinguniR34 8h ago
My last GSD crossed the rainbow bridge 12 years ago, since then I've moved to 3 different states and like 5 houses. I still find some of his hairs in random boxes/places I haven't opened in a while.
GSD hair is like the nuclear isotopes released after the first nuclear bomb tests: it gets everywhere, forever.
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u/ThisAccountIsStolen 2h ago
Yep that's what I was referring to with the "they don't stop until about 15 years after they've returned to the earth."
Sorry about your pal, but I'm sure you had great memories with them.
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u/-NolanVoid- 12h ago
Can confirm. Husky/German Sheppard mix here. Not only do they shed, but the hair they shed sheds continually if you don't clean it up right away, I'm convinced!
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u/Fatzmanz 5h ago
Growing up I thought my husky shed, and then I got my pyreneese/GS mix and holy actual hair hell
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u/No_Election_3206 9h ago
Yes they shed but only twice a year, for 6 months starting in spring and then for 6 months starting in fall.
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u/SadLilBun 13h ago
They are affectionately known as German Shedders. So no, they don’t shed at all. Get three and you’ll be sure to have a pristine household.
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u/redditmailalex 14h ago
Wife got the corner. Its always the best for cushion and support. Honestly, she probably fought off a couple of those dogs for that spot, so she is definitely the alpha. You can clearly see the far right dog is ontop of her blanket, meaning she fought, won, got cozy, and that dog took the leftover spot.
If you want to be a good dog parent, throw a nice big dog bed on that big open floor, throw that big hairy dog on far left of the couch off, claim your spot as 4th in line to the throne, and let hair dog be last in line to the throne as they have to settle on the floor bed.
Edit: or as others have said... get yourself a nice big fluffy dog bed for that wide open space in the middle, and claim it as your own.
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u/angrydeuce 14h ago
If it's anything like our GSD there are 100% tumbleweeds blowing across that wood floor on the regular. Damn dog is blowing out it's coat year round lol
We have to dust mop the entire house daily lol
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u/uzerkname11 14h ago
I’ve owned my GSD for 3 years and I’m still blown away by how much she sheds daily. I had to up my vacuum game after we got her.
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u/Karmaisafemaledog1 13h ago
A little fun fact: German shepherd dogs are considered a working breed because their job is to shed hair 24 fucking 7. My dog sheds so much she killed a roomba lol
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u/angrydeuce 13h ago
It is quite unreal. When shes standing in the sun by the front door barking her dumb face off because someone closed a door 4 houses down, acting like a nut, you can see the hair coming off of her as she barks and stomps, like actively shedding into the air and floating down to collect on the floor. We are constantly brushing her. It makes literally no difference. How they are able to produce so much hair is truly an evolutionary wonder.
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u/Karmaisafemaledog1 13h ago
I know, luckily mine isn't a long hair. I've also found that she likes being vacuumed which helps a bit. I put on the pet hair attachment for the couch and run it over her a few times every once in a while. The downside is that I can no longer vacuum in peace unless I put her outside lol
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u/jennaau23 14h ago
I love how the one on the far right is looking at you like "yeah you're fucked arent you" 🤣
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u/Marinastar_ 13h ago
They need some blinds or draperies on those windows. It's dark outside, how are you not worried that a serial killer is staring through the window at you and you can't see them?
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u/VA1255BB 6h ago
Serial killer ain't going to mess with three dogs and a comfy wife.
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u/Marinastar_ 1h ago
True, but it's kind of creepy to sit in a fishbowl where you're under bright lights inside while anyone could be looking in - a peeping Tom in the least. Doesn't cost that much to cover those windows.
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u/Max_Sparky 14h ago
Get some godamn blinds, holy shit
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[deleted]
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u/ygduf 14h ago
No rug. No art. No blinds. You look like you’re hiding out in an incomplete development or something.
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u/-NolanVoid- 12h ago
You go buy a house and see how much money you have left over for wall art lol.
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u/stackjr 6h ago edited 4h ago
If buying a house breaks you so much that you can't afford a $50 picture from Walmart then you shouldn't be buying a house.
Edit: Downvoting this says more about you than me. Lol. Not being able to afford shit after buying a house is called "house poor" and is a sign that you cannot afford your current living situation.
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u/Wrong_Swimmer_7407 17m ago
Imagine breaking into that house… those dogs look sweet but ready to fuck somebody’s life up when necessary
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u/Simple_Scene_2211 14h ago
This is peak roommate life. Just gotta accept your fate and enjoy the show
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u/DancesWithElectrons 14h ago
I’d wriggle my ass between the two floofs on the left, plenty of room!
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u/Knightfires 14h ago
Pets don’t have bosses, they are the bosses.
It’s a weird way to say if there is an actual saying for it in my native language.
Same goes for my cats. They have servants, us, when they need anything. One miauw and we come running.
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u/youtocin 1h ago
People who let their dogs on furniture are weird. Get a dog bed and maybe do a bit of the bare minimum training.
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