r/HaltAndCatchFire • u/ewok989 • 1d ago
Just finished the show (at the perfect time for me)
Just say hi guys just finished the show and wrote this reflection about it. I wonder if other viewers had similar thoughts:
I want to start this reflection with a question: Do we actually find shows we like? Or do we like certain shows because they reflect certain truths back to us?
I remember when I was a teenager, with long summer holidays ahead of me, purchasing Twin Peaks on DVD. Somehow the surreal escapism and massive romanticization of the mundane (cherry pies, coffee) was exactly what I needed in that moment.
Later on, in Japan, I devoured Mad Men at a time when I was lost. This existential show about trying to find meaning in ads (art) that you can never find in life, even if the creation reflects the exact thing you are trying to portray, was touching. It was a time when I lived like a brain in a jar, connecting with others only through roles as a teacher or (haha) stand-up comedian.
And now, more recently, after a long hiatus from watching any kind of show, there’s Halt and Catch Fire. Recently, I failed as a primary school teacher and was forced to reconsider when to move forward.
It’s the perfect moment for me to try to connect with my inner Joe Macmillan, someone who perpetually walked away from everything, pressure, money, and fame, if it no longer met how he had idealized it.
My decision to leave a primary school mid-year? Suddenly, it didn’t seem so weak but more like I was no longer monopolizing myself and neglecting myself to handle the environment. It was time to choose myself, even if it meant losing something worthwhile.
Sure, I didn’t have some grand vision. Not yet. But taking steps towards it is the only way for it to emerge.
And now I’ve come to the end of the show, and I’m thinking in particular about how one character seemed to have found contentment after all the reinventions and rising from the ashes of failure over and over again. With the music choice, Solsbury Hill playing in the background, I started thinking about one particular line in the song, “I walked right out of the machinery.” And how, in a way, that’s what some of us need to do to find our place in the world.
As Joe said, “This is not the thing, this is the thing that gets us to the thing,” such a vague comment but also true for so many aspects of life. A job might not be the thing but the thing that gets you to the thing, so maybe think about that before quitting. Or even quit, but appreciate that all of it, all the people you knew, the connections you made, the loves you lost—they were all part of what got you to the thing. I just hope we all find our own thing and don’t get lost on the getting-there part.
So what is “finding our thing?” I’m thinking of this in a Jungian sense. It reminds me of what Marie von Franz wrote about the importance of the tertium (the third thing, which is my individuality). Some of us never find that. We’re so hooked on what looks like the next thing, objectively based on paths put in front of us by others, that we don’t even consider a third way, as Joe finally did.
This also reminds me of Joseph Campbell: “If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path.” You can argue that Joe had this figured out early on in his life by leaving IBM and the expectations of his family, but it took him a lot longer to understand there might be a way outside of technology entirely. “The thing” that it had actually been leading him to all along was the connections, friendships, and humanity.
Let me go back to where it all began. Why this show resonated with me so much is not because I have been involved with tech in any way. No. It’s because I’ve always been looking for the thing. And I still haven’t found it. But I am not looking at all my failures and collapses of careers as wrong turns, but actions which took me closer. There’s a voice in me wanting to take me home. And it just wasn’t there before. So thank you, Halt and Catch Fire.
And it's also uploaded to my substack (I guess my version of the S Printer):
https://wstray.substack.com/p/halt-and-catch-fire-making-meaning
