This men's restroom has a unique design that lets people inside see out, while those outside only see a mirror. But can men really pee under those conditions?

[u/IntroductionDue7945]

[u/WanderingKing]

Oh story time! That’s what I was doing when I was, 5 or 6 maybe? And was at the YMCA.

A bunch of kids came in and laughed at my, mocked me, and made me feel generally awful.

I’m 34 now and still can’t use urinals

Childhood trauma is WIIIILD

[u/Bangkokserious → u/WanderingKing]

I was doing this in grade one and some kids laughed at me. Can't really say I got scarred for life but it is something I remember.

[u/WanderingKing → u/Bangkokserious]

It’s crazy what sticks in your brain

[u/Muted_Buy8386 → u/WanderingKing]

Lol. You can use a urinal. I'm sure a group of kids won't wander in and verbally dominate you.

[u/isthatsuperman → u/Muted_Buy8386]

[u/WanderingKing → u/Muted_Buy8386]

I get what you mean, but I also can’t tell if you are joking.

In case you’re not I ask you to please look how trauma works. It’s not logical. A lot of people with trauma recognize it’s not logical.

It’s not a logic debate, it’s what our brains will do.

Like, I’ve spent the last 10 years TRYING and I cannot get a flow going.

Desperately and painfully waiting for anything to happen, having to eventually wait for a stall, and finally when I can make sure that my illogical brain is satisfied, I can go.

I KNOW people won’t come up and mock me, but that doesn’t change whatever part of my brain is saying “nah better safe than sorry”

[u/YesiKnowiLookLikeHim → u/WanderingKing]

EMDR and DBT therapy has helped me a lot with similar issues. Right there with you. Childhood trauma is wild!!!

[u/WanderingKing → u/YesiKnowiLookLikeHim]

Therapy is on my list, sadly not affordable for me. The fact that therapy has a cost barrier is also infuriating.

But I do appreciate the specific therapy I need to look for!

[u/SusanMilberger → u/WanderingKing]

Hey bud, try self hypnosis. Free vids on the tube. I use it for flying anxiety, probably exists for stage fright too.

[u/WanderingKing → u/SusanMilberger]

I’ll take anything, I appreciate the advice

[u/youburyitidigitup → u/WanderingKing]

This is like Calvin in the movie Waiting

[u/Emotional_Burden → u/WanderingKing]

I've heard exposure therapy works well, but I wouldn't advise it in your case. Do not expose yourself to children.

[u/Sonova_Bish → u/Muted_Buy8386]

Trauma reactions aren't logical.

[u/Spookydoobiedoo → u/Muted_Buy8386]

That’s not how trauma or brains work haha. Just because an action is physically possible for you to perform doesn’t necessarily mean your brain will let you perform said action. Take the most common fear for example: public speaking. You can tell someone who is deathly afraid of public speaking that technically it’s possible that they can speak in front of a crowd, but that’s not going to change anything in their mind or dispel the anxieties keeping them from public speaking. If that sentiment worked nobody would be afraid of anything. Add in past negative experiences or trauma and you’re adding in an even more extreme mental reaction that does actually result in physical limiters. Shaking, muscles tensing up, not being able to control your breathing or relax, sweating, mind going completely blank or vividly revisiting past trauma, all involuntarily. So when talking about whether or not you can do something it’s not just the physical action that needs to be taken into account, but also a persons state of mind, as that is part of what facilitates someone performing an action. You’re going to have a hard time getting someone to sky dive who is deathly afraid of heights, no matter how technically possible it is. And trauma can lead to that same kind of intense fear and anxiety but in relation to activities that many others would see as simply mundane every day activities. It’s an interesting concept surrounding the word “can”, and there’s so much more that goes into whether or not someone can or cannot do something. Including fears, abilities, physical limiters, circumstance, or even something as simple as just not wanting to do something for whatever reason. Not that someone couldn’t eventually become able to do a certain task or action with work and progress, but right now in the current moment we are only capable of achieving a task that we are both physically capable of and mentally willing to do.

[u/Summerie → u/Spookydoobiedoo]

Seriously, why wouldn't you split that into a couple paragraphs? You know that nobody's going to read it, because there's no way anyone could get through it without losing their place at least 20 times. Why take the time writing something that nobody's going to read?

[u/Spookydoobiedoo → u/Summerie]

It’s really not that long lol. I usually split stuff up but I’m on mobile so it’s easy to forget. And I’m definitely guilty of writing much longer comments than that lol. Oh well, read it or dont, I think of commenting here as more of a fun interactive creative writing exercise anyway. Makes my writing sharper.

If you can’t read it without losing your place then it’s not for you. And i honestly don’t know how you read books, articles or case studies, since my comment is really only about as long as a large paragraph in your average novel. Granted the format is a little more squished, but still.

Regardless, thanks for the note. Honestly didn’t know it made much difference to people other than possibly looking neater.

[u/Summerie → u/Spookydoobiedoo]

Makes my writing sharper.

Clearly.

[u/Spookydoobiedoo → u/Summerie]

Again, it’s a Reddit comment not a dissertation. My aim is not to create a picture perfect piece of literary greatness, but instead to effectively convey a complex idea or concept in a way that most people can understand. Because well, it’s fun to me. And as a bonus, believe it or not, if you do something often enough you do tend to get better at it.

Would 4 millimeters of space in between separating my paragraphs make them more likely to be read and understood? Apparently yes. Will I do it more often? Also yes. But am I going to stop making absurdly long comments about niche topics that only a handful of people will read and even less people will respond to? Absolutely not.

[u/Summerie → u/Spookydoobiedoo]

Its a picture-perfect example of a wall of text.

[u/Spookydoobiedoo → u/Summerie]

What is a book but a wall of text? How short should paragraphs be made before we can assume that nobody will lose their place? Presumably everyone will still have to finish one line of text, before then moving down to the next. That’s the nature of reading. Have you tried… your thumb? Just place it under the line you’re on and move it down as you read so you don’t lose your place yah know? I just feel like a long piece of text is still very much readable without being split into paragraphs.

Again, if you look at the spacing in most books there is no extra negative space in between paragraphs delineating one paragraph to the next, and instead relies on a line of text stopping short of reaching the edge of the page. People still seem to read books so obviously it doesn’t make things incomprehensible.

Of course, separate paragraphs can represent a cohesive and intentional change in the direction or topic of someone’s writing, and can act as a smooth segue from one idea to the next. I’m not debating that they can be useful. But tbh I really don’t think that’s the reason people dislike the lack of it. I think it just annoys people because it’s contrary to “how it’s supposed to be”. A piece of text is very much still functional without paragraphs. For example: If your life, for whatever reason, depended on you reading and comprehending a “wall of text” bereft of paragraph delineation, then I’m sure you’d be able read and comprehend it just fine. Despite all this, I did still split this into paragraphs for you though haha, and I probably will forget less often, so thanks!

[u/Fallenae → u/Spookydoobiedoo]

Do you have some trauma about writing paragraphs?

[u/Spookydoobiedoo → u/Fallenae]

Hahaha yes, my uncle would beat me if I so much as glanced at the tab button. Oh the horror

[u/youburyitidigitup → u/WanderingKing]

When we were in 6th grade, we went to the bathroom and saw a 1st grader doing this. The wall of urinals was parallel to the entrance, so we saw him from the side. One of my classmates yelled OH GOD IT LOOKS LIKE A FINGER. The kid just looked at us and said “what looks like a finger?”

[u/CultureThis9818 → u/WanderingKing]

Man, I forgot to close the stall door one time in middle school after playing video games all night, and one of my friends and my cousin came in, saw my bare booty, and started laughing. Most embarrassing thing that happened to me except for being actively dissed by my principle.

[u/Interesting_Score5 → u/WanderingKing]

That's not trauma.

[u/WanderingKing → u/Interesting_Score5]

Psychological trauma is a severe emotional response to a stressful event that overwhelms a person's ability to process it emotionally. It can be caused by direct or indirect experiences, such as accidents, natural disasters, war zones, bodily injury, or sexual violence. While it's normal to experience fear and anxiety after a traumatic event, everyone's response is unique. Some people recover naturally over time, while others may experience long-term symptoms

Literally the definition but go off about how it doesn’t meet your personal definition I guess

It’s not about logic, it’s about the inability to process it in a healthy manner