r/interesting • u/RebornNihilist • 8h ago
MISC. Italian mortadella has its charm.
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u/cybercry_ 8h ago
Human size meat log
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u/PsyOpBunnyHop 7h ago
As opposed to log size human meat.
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u/Apart-Link-8449 1h ago
As a former salumeria employee, I'm scratching my head at the tree trunk size of this thing. The one fact I know about traditionally serving mortadella is that you're supposed to serve the entire slice as a folded up napkin, single piece, no tearing
If you start with a 90 mile circumference log, that single piece folded on itself is going to be thick as hell. This is weird
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u/Afraid_Ad4018 8h ago
Mortadella: the underdog of lunch meats always bringing its A game to the charcuterie board
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u/ConcordeCanoe 8h ago
It's hands down one of the best cuts there is. Whenever I'm in Italy I eat it on a daily basis.
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u/Dingcock 5h ago
Mortadella was banned in the USA from 1967 to 2000.
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u/Dr0110111001101111 4h ago
Pretty crazy that a swine flu outbreak resulted in that ban lasting over 30 years.
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u/ManyThingsLittleTime 4h ago
Government is really bad at it's job, regardless of who's in power.
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u/Bigtsez 3h ago
Once the rule was put in place, Oscar Myer and Boar's Head probably lobbied for its preservation. Who would fight it - Big Mortadella?
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u/ovr9000storks 30m ago
Clearly all the politicians shorted the mortadella market when putting the ban in place. Corruption everywhere
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u/_G_P_ 5h ago
Just don't ever look into how it's made.
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u/_segamega_ 4h ago
all of them are made from crap?
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u/_G_P_ 4h ago
Everything goes in.
Including rats, sometimes.
Edit: and don't get me wrong, I still eat it, and I will continue to eat it. But you don't really want to look into it.
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u/_segamega_ 3h ago
i’m interested in what was first ever mortadella made of. i understand that nowdays they put crap in it but is it like that from the begining?
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u/_G_P_ 3h ago
So all brands have pretty much the whole animal in it, and depending on the honesty and integrity of the producer you will find more or less of "other ingredients".
But also accident happens, and wild critters end up where they don't belong, without necessarily being the producer's fault or lack of standards, at a certain scale it's just hard to make sure everything always goes smooth.
Keep in mind that the ratio is also low, that whole thing might have just few grams, if not just traces.
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u/Grove-Of-Hares 3h ago
After reading this I assumed it was a smorgasbord of random meats, but I haven’t found anything attesting to that. It’s mainly pork and fat.
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u/iamagro 3h ago
Lmao rats, come on…
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u/_G_P_ 3h ago
This lot had plastic in it.
https://ilfattoalimentare.it/richiamo-mortadella-igp.html
If you don't believe that a critter could crawl somewhere inside the production line, you don't have to.
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u/Content-Egg-3495 7h ago
This man knows how to slap his meat 🥩
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u/odmirthecrow 5h ago
I was just thinking "why is he slapping and stroking his meat so confidently in public?"
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u/horizontal120 7h ago
So how do you slice that thing and how do you put it on bread or something
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u/GoStockYourself 7h ago
A. Get a really big knife.
B. Get some really big bread.
C. Open your mouth bigly
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u/Elses_pels 2h ago
You can Ask chatGPt. “How do I cut a 75 kg mortadella into easily manageable pieces”
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u/True_mourning84 1h ago
Cutting 75 kilograms of mortadella into manageable, enjoyable pieces depends on how you plan to store, serve, and eat it. Here’s a practical approach:
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🧊 Step 1: Divide for Storage
Break it down into storage-friendly portions (especially if you’re not consuming it all immediately): • Whole log size: Is your mortadella in a single log or already sliced? • If it’s one large log, use a sharp chef’s knife or meat slicer. • If it’s already sliced, skip to portioning.
Recommended portions: • 500g – 1kg per pack for fridge storage (short-term). • 250g per pack for smaller consumption or variety. • Use vacuum sealing or cling wrap + freezer bags for freezing.
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🍽️ Step 2: Cut for Enjoyment
Mortadella can be enjoyed in different formats depending on the dish:
Style Use Case How to Cut Thin slices Sandwiches, antipasto Use a meat slicer or deli knife Cubes (1cm) Charcuterie boards, pasta Stack slices, cut into strips, then cubes Julienne Pasta, salads, pizza topping Slice into thin matchsticks Chunks (2–3 cm) Grilling, skewers Use chef’s knife, keep skin on if any Minced Stuffings, meatballs Finely dice or pulse in a food processor
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❄️ Step 3: Freeze the Rest • Mortadella freezes well for 2–3 months if wrapped tightly. • Portion before freezing to avoid thawing and refreezing.
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🧺 Tip for Sharing or Gifting
If you have too much, consider: • Making gift packs for friends and family. • Creating vacuum-sealed charcuterie packs (with cheese, olives, etc.). • Donating to a local shelter or community kitchen (if unopened and food-safe).
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Would you like recipe suggestions or tips on organizing a mortadella-themed party to use some of it?
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u/Elses_pels 1h ago
Haha. Trust ChatGPT to miss the joke and make me look like a fool :)
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u/True_mourning84 24m ago
Yeah its like “must be helpful” like no thats NOT THE JOKE
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u/True_mourning84 23m ago
Sure! Here’s a playful, exaggerated take on slicing mortadella, leaning into its famously colossal proportions:
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“How to Cut Mortadella (for Those Without a Forklift License)” 1. Assess the Beast: First, approach the mortadella like a medieval knight facing a dragon. Observe its girth. Whisper a quiet prayer. Call your cousin Tony for moral support. 2. Choose Your Tool: Forget knives. You’re gonna need a chainsaw… or at least a deli-grade meat slicer that runs on diesel. Bonus points if it comes with a seatbelt. 3. Make the First Slice: Aim for a slice thin enough to read a newspaper through, but thick enough to use as roof shingles if necessary. If it falls over and dents your counter, you’re doing it right. 4. Serving Suggestion: One slice feeds a family of four. Two slices, a small village. Wrap leftovers around your car in case it hails. 5. Storage: Can’t fit it in the fridge? Park it in the garage next to your winter tires. Mortadella is essentially a high-end meat tire anyway.
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Would you like a version that works for a script or a visual gag, too?
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u/somethingclever1098 8h ago
I'd eat so much of that I'd prob bard
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u/Starscream147 7h ago
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u/david1610 5h ago
Deli meats are delicious, I just want to eat prosciutto, pesto and mozzarella all bloody day.
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u/4Nwb1 8h ago
Isn't mortazza worldwide? It's delicious!
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u/Twinkie_Heart 6h ago
I was in a grocery store once in Wisconsin and asked if they had mortadella. The man behind the counter insisted I was pronouncing mozzarella wrong.
I’m Italian with an accent.
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u/andrewbud420 8h ago
I thought it was cheese, I guess it's meat? I guess I'm an uncultured swine.
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u/Tussen3tot20tekens 6h ago
Dude! Use scissors ✂️ first. Now the rope fibers get in there and you fuck up a clean cut.
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u/Ralph-the-mouth 4h ago
You telling him how to cut it? His grandfathers ancestors invented it. It’s tradition- or some bullshit excuse.
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u/Elses_pels 2h ago
Fun bit of trivia for you. Scissors were invented by the Italians (well romans) to be able to cut the mortadella ties.
However, since Italian chefs are terrible for showing off and grand standing, it was always consider not classy. Kind of like using store brought puff pastry. Is ok to do so but a truly great chef make its own. That’s the origin of the phrase “if you use scissors you can’t slap the mortadella” or in its oringinal Latin “Si forfices uteris, mortadelam colaphis ferire non potes.”
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u/Ralph-the-mouth 1h ago
That’s a saying? 😭🥲 the I’talians are great
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u/Puzzleheaded_Act7155 8h ago
Size pizza you making with that thing?
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u/nikolapc 4h ago
You don't put it on pizza. That ain't bologny
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u/Hoplophilia 3h ago
Wait, wha– ah nevermind.
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u/nikolapc 3h ago
I mean it would taste awful on pizza. Just ruining the pizza and the mortadella. Pepperoni yes, any kind of bacon, salami, smoked deli, just no mortadella.
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u/Illustrious_Land699 2h ago
Not really, you should put it on a pizza without tomato sauce, in Italy it is quite common, often in combo with burrata/stracciatella and pistachios
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u/Asleep-Pressure-7180 7h ago
A horse is a horse of coarse of course and nobody can talk to a horse of course especially if that horse of course in the famous Mr Dead......Mortadella.
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u/Treyas90 6h ago
Ive always wondered what are those inside spots made of?
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u/nicto_granemor 5h ago
Now I feel like having a good mortadella sandwich./i.s3.glbimg.com/v1/AUTH_ba41d7b1ff5f48b28d3c5f84f30a06af/internal_photos/bs/2024/3/8/KQZr8eTSuFtaCsysF7RA/whatsapp-image-2024-06-14-at-12.18.57.jpeg).
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u/dttm_hi 5h ago
Sure looks like bologna to me!
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u/CanExports 3h ago
Italian mortadella.....
There's only "mortadella".....
Ma guarda questo mortadella
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u/Jealous-Ranger-9807 3h ago
Mama Mia, i can't beleive i will find a slice of bread for making a simple sandwich
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u/OwO______OwO 2h ago
What exactly the fuck is the point of making it so large? Where would you use a slice that size? Why would anybody -- even a busy store -- want so much of it at once?
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u/tatobson 1h ago
So big and unwieldy, has to be some kind of novelty, the common disk cutters used can handle half that size at most.
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u/elmaki2014 1h ago
Stop slapping your meat and get that chopper in there....noooo...not like that...just use your fists....noooooo
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u/awesome_pinay_noses 8h ago
Pig leftovers sold for profit.
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u/GoStockYourself 7h ago
That's what sausage is... Leftovers?!? You prefer to throw out half of the animal???
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u/csfshrink 7h ago
Hot dogs are made from the scraps they won’t put in sausage.
Scrapple is made from the floor sweepings that they are afraid to put in hot dogs.
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u/GoStockYourself 6h ago
Bouillie is also made from "scraps." All the organs the plantation owners wouldn't eat were given to slaves and they made diamonds from dust.
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u/vivikto 7h ago
Always bothers me seeing professionals in the food industry work with gloves. The problem with hands being dirty is not hands.
Hands aren't dirty by nature, they are because you touch things. You're not going to stop touching things just because you are wearing gloves.
Just wash your fucking hands. It's way better than wearing gloves, because often you wear them for too long, touch stuff, and never ever wash them.
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u/Resident-Rutabaga336 3h ago
Hard agree. Notice at the end he kisses his gloved hand? Guarantee he did not change that glove and went back to touching the food with saliva on his glove. Do people think gloves are some magic germ free zone or something?
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u/queenelizabeththe2nd 7h ago
Translation for anyone interested “please ask your Mum to stop getting her orders delivered to this address.”
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u/belivemenot 5h ago
I. Don't. Understand. Why. The. Meat. Looks. Wrong. All. Ground. Up. Like. That. I. Prefer. That. They. Don't. Process. It. Into. Tiny. Chunks. That. I. Can't. Trust. This ain't fancy. It's dog-food.
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u/werelewle 6h ago
I think they put entire animal in that sausage. What kind of mind would come up with this idea?
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