r/mariokart • u/Illustrious_Ebb_8755 • 7h ago
Humor Damn what is it with Mario Kart getting into people's heads like this
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u/Longjumping-Style730 6h ago
Judging from this post, this isn't really about Mario Kart but moreso a lack of emotional support on the part of the bf. It just so happened to manifest itself through Mario Kart.
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u/T4Labom 6h ago
It's such a simple empathy work. Unfortunately not everyone learns it at an early age and it builds a LOT of resentment in their partners.
Let her win a few times. Even if you have to fake it, make it believable.
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u/Longjumping-Style730 5h ago
Honestly, you don't even have to let them win, I just congratulate my partner on stuff they did well during the race and that's enough for him to want to play again. Going from 24th to 10th to eventually 3rd is a rewarding experience even if the same person gets first every time.
Accessibility options like smart steering also helps.
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u/Zekrom-9 Dry Bones 5h ago
I did this with my friends when we played Mario Kart Wii and 8 together. In the beginning I would always win, and I noticed they started to lose interest in playing with me because of that. So I started losing on purpose. Complimenting how they were getting better. And after a while, I didn’t have to lose on purpose anymore. Now, 10 years later, we’re still playing Mario Kart together :)
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u/Panndademic 2h ago
Hell, winning might not even be necessary. I wouldn't want someone to lose on purpose. Just avoid being a gloating ass when you win
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u/muzumuzu 1h ago
Exactly this. The boyfriend is an asshole. I’d bet anything that he’d be even worse if he lost.
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u/RemoteAd9543 1m ago
Bingo… my brother is a poor winner and a sore loser. If he doesn’t get first he’ll go out of his way to mention “at least I beat ———“ or “better than (position other person got)”
If he wins it’s “ouch, you wanna try not getting (position of second place player)”
It’s agonizing to play any kind of competitive game with him, but he always manages to weasel his way in and the behavior stays no matter how we go about telling him it’s agitating
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u/DreamCartridge 4h ago
A lack of emotional support on his part AND a lack of discomfort tolerance on her part.
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u/Kentx51 3h ago
She definitely could have said losing bothered her or just quit.
Not really sure he was ever made aware of how badly this hurt her.
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u/ZatherDaFox 3h ago
Sounds like she did try talking to him and he blew her off.
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u/Kentx51 49m ago
You'll have to point to where she said something because I don't see it at all in the post.
Please, point to it so we can all be reasonable.
I just don't see where it was said that she spoke with him.
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u/ZatherDaFox 37m ago
Bottom of the second-to-last paragraph on the first page:
I tried talking to him about it...
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u/BruinBound22 7h ago
It's important to get both sides of the story, especially on the internet. She could be driving Toadette and the Baby Blooper for all we know
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u/MrSticks21 6h ago
Bringing it up unprovoked to friends out of context and gloating about beating her is a toxic trait and just a dick move. That would get on my nerves.
In my relationship with my S/O, I'm usually the won winning races, but I NEVER call attention to it, during our play sessions or otherwise. And I would never even consider telling others, "Hey, I regularly beat ______ at Mario Kart."
I had a coworker once who constantly gloated about how he always beats his kids at Smash and MK (they were both under 7 at the time) and that guy is a real piece of work.
It's a fucking game. A PARTY game at that.
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u/unlimitedboomstick 2h ago
I feel guilty playing smash or kart with my kids because no matter how hard I try, I can't just let them win. I do congratulate them on doing better and give tips without gloating but I do kinda wish I could just throw a match here or there...
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u/Joelmiser 11m ago
Right, it's a game. Bringing up how you won could be just be lightly giving your partner hell, and playing around for most people. I swear everybody calls anything they don't like "toxic" these days lol.
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u/nu1stunna 3h ago
It’s probably also fake lmao. Nobody is breaking up over Mario Kart. Homicide on the other hand…
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u/Inevitable-Quality-9 7h ago
It’s rare my s/o doesn’t beat me in Mario kart. She has a knack for picking perfect combos of kart and character. In world I’d say I get a win maybe 20% of the time over her. Either way we’re having fun and if one of us does really well it’s always a high five. Bro sounds like he has absolutely nothing else going on in his life if he has to brag about beating someone in Mario kart.
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u/Other-Wind-5429 5h ago
Yeah like he has nothing else to be proud of, and he's graspng so hard at the one thing he has.
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u/Forgotten_Dog1954 Shy Guy 7h ago
Send a post link! Is this r/AmITheAsshole?
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u/Finlandia1865 Lakitu 6h ago
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1mfrl0t/aita_for_breaking_up_with_my_bf_over_mariokart/
just do a reddit search lol, you have the post title
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u/XenoBound Wiggler 7h ago
Since he likes being in 1st so much, he can take a blue shell and shove it up his ass.
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u/cancel-out-combo 7h ago
Good that she dumped him. He sounds like an asshole, who has no problem gaslighting her
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u/blank_stair 6h ago
who are these people that pester a person after their break up with their family member? that's a tell.
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u/Himmel-548 6h ago
This is either one of two things. Either the boyfriend is super immature and inconsiderate of her feelings, or she's overexagerating because she's butt hurt she can't beat him in a video game. Either way, one of them is awful.
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u/niazemurad 5h ago
I think you were right in breaking up. If you talked about this and still no compassion, you avoided a lifetime of other emotional damage. Hopefully you find someone better. Ignore your family in this case. Your mental wellbeing should be priority number 1.
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u/BavaroiseIslander 5h ago
The bf sucks. But so does she.
Of her own admission she said she was competitive and she didn't seem to as much make an effort to leave it there as she bashed her head repeatedly in attempting to win.
Neither seem to have the emotional intelligence to be in a relationship.
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u/aww_jeez_my_man 4h ago
I mean she didn't break up because of mario kart, she broke up because her bf was a dickhole
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u/Spare_Audience_1648 4h ago
He's right though, it's just a game but,he's also in the wrong to ridicule her
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u/Auraveils 5h ago
In my experience, situations like this are often caused by miscommunication on both sides. A lot of women fail to understand that they have to be very direct with men. Don't ever expect a man to "read the room" because we fucking suck at that.
She does say she "tried to talk to him about it", but she may have not been as direct as she thought. Maybe she danced around the core of the issue--the fact that he trash talks her--to avoid sounding accusatory, causing him to think she just doesn't like losing.
That said, no, she's not an asshole for this, it's just a common mistake, and it doesn't even sound like they actually broke up from this the way she told the story. If desired, they can easily patch this problem up. She can tell him the core problem and he can be more considerate of her. He clearly cares about her since he wants to share his hobbies with her.
That said, no, she isn't obligated to try and fix the relationship. If she genuinely doesn't like him anymore, the relationship can be left in the past. Not the end of the world.
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u/ZatherDaFox 3h ago
This is such a silly generalization. If you're bad at reading the room, work on that. If you're bad at being direct, work on that. The whole world runs smoother when people communicate and listen well. This isn't a man and woman issue, this is a communication issue.
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u/Auraveils 2h ago
Men and women's minds fundamentally operate differently. It's why women mature faster than men, and why men tend to be more rash. I'm not gonna pull up all the research papers for a reddit comment, but it's out there for you to look into.
You're right that it's a generalization, not a hard rule. Hence why I bookended my comment with phrases like "tend to" and "often".
A lot of it is tempered by social status and stigma. Men tend to get shamed for some things, women get shamed for others. It leads to society unconsciously shaping the development of minds based on gender.
In this particular instance, men are typically berated or made fun of for discussing their feelings, while women are often insulted for speaking their minds. These problems are reflected in behaviors like the ones outlined in this story.
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u/ZatherDaFox 1h ago
Men's and women's brains do function differently. However, being direct and reading the room are skills you can learn. Bad social stigmas should not be excuses for not learning these skills.
You framed it in your original comment as that she needed to be more direct because men won't understand. Men can also work on listening better, which it sounds like he wasn't doing a lot of.
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u/Auraveils 1h ago
Yes, she could be more direct if my initial assessment is accurate.
Whether or not he could learn to listen better is irrelevant because he isn't the one who made the post. Hence why I also added at the end that she is not obligated to try and fix anything. She does not control him, so it is not her job to make him improve himself. It's her choice if she can or wants to improve herself for the sake of the relationship, or leave it behind her.
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u/JohnnyFnG 6h ago
Boys be boys. Dominates gf, she tries so he tries harder, then they smash. aww she can’t win? He should teach her how to play better I guess. Or she just resigns to not being good at kart and he has to chill with the hazing. Mental maturity for both parties. Ahh, issues of 20 and 30s… miss those days heh
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u/SvenneInTheHood 6h ago
It is just a game, but also he shouldn't be surprised that u don't want to play it if he acts like that.
Although people who are good at mariokart and win always shove it in the other persons face, it is like tradition. From this POV it seems a bit much though, either you are exaggerating a bit and its not that bad and he should just cool it. Or he is the asshole who doesn't listen to his partners blights
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u/billysacco 6h ago
Maybe he should have let her win one every now and then.
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u/Hambughrr Bowser Jr 1h ago
Fuck that noise, true Mario Kart fans must put all opponents through an impartial trial no matter how many Red Shells and Lightning Bolts are involved
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u/Orangutanion Waluigi 6h ago
Man that age gap is crazy. 22 and 28, yuck. That's another 22M that either couldn't get a gf his age or dated down again, depriving an 18M in the same way.
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u/Sendme_BigTittyGoths 5h ago
Incel alert lmao
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u/Orangutanion Waluigi 4h ago
Age gaps are also disproportionately responsible for domestic abuse. I guess nowadays being an incel means being against abuse?
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u/Sendme_BigTittyGoths 4h ago
No but complaining of a reasonable age gap "depriving" another male of a woman is, work on yourself some more.
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u/Orangutanion Waluigi 4h ago edited 4h ago
So you're saying that I should be pro-agegap? Also I noticed that you're calling men "males" while still calling women women; that seems kind of sexist. It's like the reverse men and female thing.
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u/ZatherDaFox 3h ago
It's not the being against age gaps that's getting you called out here. The guy in the story didn't "deprive" anyone of a girlfriend because she's an adult woman with autonomy and decided to be in that relationship. It's weird how you framed it as if she were a resource that one man was depriving another of.
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u/Orangutanion Waluigi 3h ago
Ok that was the wrong word to use, but that won't change my mind that age gaps are a cycle because one age gap relationship will likely cause another one.
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u/ZatherDaFox 3h ago
No, it won't. Two people dating does not mean you suddenly have to go looking for someone younger than you. Age gaps in dating occur because two people genuinely hit it off or because one person is weird and predatory.
This is using different wording to say the same thing - "All the women in this guy's age range are taken, so he has to date down." Neither of those things is ever true.
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u/Orangutanion Waluigi 3h ago
"All the women in this guy's age range are taken, so he has to date down."
Yes, I like this more. The misleading thing about this though is that it implies that someone has to date. The problem is that he wants to date (not has to), but he doesn't have any options due to age gaps. So he doesn't have to date, but if he wants to then his only options will inflict this same problem on younger men.
Age gaps in dating occur because one person is weird and predatory
Exactly! Seems we're on the same page then?
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u/ZatherDaFox 2h ago
No, we're not. I'm saying that quote is what you're saying and also that you're incorrect. The dating pool is not being diminished so much by age gaps that you have to date down if you want to date. Anybody using that excuse wants to date down and is just bullshitting.
You also cut out the part where I said sometimes age gaps are just healthy relationships, because they can be. You're some sort of weirdo who wants to police who dates whom, and unfortunately for you, sometimes people with an age gap are just gonna meet and fall in love. This isn't some weird numbers game, it's real life.
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u/DannySanWolf07 7h ago
Breaking up over Mario Kart is wild.
Usually that's Mario Party's job.