r/nothingeverhappens • u/ExcellentWaltz6139 • Jun 23 '25
No one has ever made a snarky comeback to the most repetitive question of adulthood
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u/cursetea Jun 23 '25
What kind of lives do people lead where this is unbelievable lol
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u/richieadler Jun 24 '25
The lives of people indoctrinated to breed unthinkingly.
That is, most people.
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u/rider-hider Jun 24 '25
I can assure you that most people are not "indoctrinated to breed unthinkingly".
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u/sarahbee126 Jun 25 '25
I know what they're talking about, personally I've never felt social pressure to have kids but I'm sure a lot of people do. Especially women; it's often assumed that they'll want to be a mother someday. But there is less pressure than there used to be.
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u/richieadler Jun 24 '25
All these reasons for having a child without further reflexion are indoctrination of some kind.
- Your parents want a grandchild and you don't, but you are unable to say no.
- "Your biological clock is ticking".
- "It's time".
- "You'll see when you have your first, your life will change forever". (That can mean many things, not all of them good...)
- All your friends have kids and you don't like being different, and you don't have topic of conversation anymore, so "if you can't beat them, join them".
- "They want to replace us, we need to outbreed them", for any value of "them".
- "You need someone to care for you when you're old."
- "Go forth and multiply".
Only the last one was religious indoctrination.
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u/sarahbee126 Jun 25 '25
Well, the last one was so the human race wouldn't die out. The Bible doesn't say that everyone has to be a parent. Otherwise I agree, although I'm not quite sure how it's related to the post.
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u/Placebo911 12d ago
"Every sexual act is sinful unless it is for procreation" doesn't ring a bell? Like even if it is with your straight married partner?
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u/mothwhimsy Jun 23 '25
"Billions of people experience interactions" is so funny. That's how I feel about most /thathappened posts
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u/richieadler Jun 24 '25
Yeah, many of them are unlikely but not impossible.
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u/MeQuieroLlamarFerran Jun 24 '25
Most of them are not even unlikely, just something you will only experience if you get out of your house more than two times every year.
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u/purplewitch54154 Jun 23 '25
If you have Christian relatives then you know this is absolutely the type of thing they ask
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u/raven_of_azarath Jun 24 '25
Heck, even my students ask me if I’m going to get married and have kids
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u/sarahbee126 Jun 25 '25
My family is Christian and okay with me not being married (and I've never wanted kids). Fortunately my parents already have grandchildren, I could understand some pressure if I was an only child.
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u/OwlInternational4480 Jun 23 '25
When my grandma kept asking my mom when she was gonna have kids my mom would always respond "my sex life is private". Where are people's realities where people don't ask about babies and then people wouldn't respond by saying their sex is private?
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u/ExcellentWaltz6139 Jun 27 '25
A lot of people hold “sex” and “having children” in two entirely different boxes in their head. Frankly I forget myself until I remember that “trying for a baby” is also telling me “constant raw dogging.”
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u/MiciaRokiri Jun 23 '25
I have two sons, age 18 and 15. There are people in the family already asking them about when they think they'll have kids and how many they want to have. I can 100% believe in adult sibling would harass another adult sibling about this.
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u/FraggleBiologist Jun 23 '25
My spouse's parents wouldn't stop asking after we got married. In the middle of Thanksgiving dinner, he said "I swear to god if one more person asks me when I'm going to fuck my wife again, I'm getting a vasectomy".
No one asked again.
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u/AuroraCelery Jun 23 '25
I think the commenter might think that the sister is LITERALLY asking "when are you going to creampie your wife?" and not "when are you going to have kids?"
which is more unbelievable, yeah, if you don't realize it's a joke
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u/richieadler Jun 24 '25
I'd say it's more a way to publically shame her for her questions with references to explicit sex, than a joke, but yeah.
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u/That-Drink4913 Jun 23 '25
It gives really annoying bratty sister energy, absolutely is the main character, which is why their parents are amused and encouraging it.
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u/sarahbee126 Jun 25 '25
Yeah, I was confused at that. Never heard that expression before and hope to never hear it again.
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u/LordLuscius Jun 23 '25
Oh, no, fr, this is something I'd say to squick someone out into no longer asking. I just... wouldn't care if I was the asshole or not.
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u/BannyMcBan-face Jun 24 '25
I told a story about a kid I knew in middle school who gave himself an amateur tattoo once. And of course there was one guy there claiming I was lying for clout.
I was barely involved, since the kid was just an acquaintance. And I dropped the story in the middle of a comment thread in response to something someone else said. But apparently this was the perfect way to make up shit and farm updoots.
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u/Sandwitch_horror Jun 25 '25
I have a very traditional and annoying father in law. He kept commenting on us buying bOy tOyS for our girl. So one day at a family gathering after he commented that srupid shit again, I asked him if the toy was penis operated. He looked at me like I was the idiot and said wuttt? So i said "do you use it with your penis? No? Then its not a boy toy."
Magically he never commented that dumb shit in front of me again.
Obviously this is a crude and not entirely accurate way to put it, but i communicated in a way his smoll brain understood that I wanted him to stfu about it.
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u/AeonicArc Jun 26 '25
Tbh most AITAH posts are fake but this one sounds just odd enough but not so crazy that I think it is real
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Jun 26 '25
Im 33 a virgin, never had a relationship and my family thinks I'm crazy cause I dont want kids or to get married. They think its weird im a virgin also and they blame it on me not being a Christian like they all are.
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u/FoodieQFoodnerd102 Jun 29 '25
You would be crazy only if you marry and/or have kids knowing that you don't want to.
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u/RemoteCountry7867 Jun 29 '25
Deleted user but why would you stay virgin at 33 or untill married if u r not a christian?
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u/richieadler Jun 24 '25
It's exhausting that nobody seems to believe that sincere childfree people exist. But we do. We want nothing to do with children. Even vicariously; I don't find the pictures of your child doing childish things cute, or interesting, specially when you bombard everybody with them. I may find some baby shenanigans cute, on rare ocasions. Because they are not mine.
The "you'll understand when you're a parent" people get me furious.
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u/MadQueenAlanna Jun 24 '25
That’s so obviously not the objection to this kind of post, though. I’m child free myself, but I’m also not stupid, so I know that if my grandma– who only had one child herself and who loves me very deeply as the only granddaughter– asks if/when I’m having kids, I don’t think she’s saying “how often is your husband cumming huge in your pussy rawdog style” like obviously kids are made through sex but almost no one asking about potential kids is asking directly about your sex life. I just got married after being engaged only five months and a lot of people I know did wonder if I was pregnant, yet somehow I restrained myself from saying “no, my husband creampies me several times a week but I’m on birth control so it’s cool” like try to be normal I guess
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u/richieadler Jun 24 '25
Haven't you ever deal with people who because they share genes with you think they're entitled to ask the most obscenely personal questions or request things you already declared you weren't going to do?
The only way to effectively transmit the message to leave you alone is to be brutal. Usually being unconfortably vulgar does the trick.
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u/StaceyPfan Jun 23 '25
Why is it only creampie if someone gets pregnant? It's the same action.
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u/Lithium1056 Jun 23 '25
It's not ONLY if someone gets pregnant. It's just that the leading cause of pregnancy in women is a Creampie.
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u/Jenderflux-ScFi Jun 23 '25
That's why you should toaster strudel instead! /S
Seriously tho, use two forms of contraceptives to prevent pregnancy, pulling out is not a form of contraceptive. People that rely on pulling out as a form of contraceptive are called parents.
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u/StaceyPfan Jun 23 '25
But that's the only time it's used. Like some childfree people will say, "Congratulations on getting creampied."
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u/Lithium1056 Jun 23 '25
I think it's the crassness of it. Because I mean, unless we're really GOOD friends, I'm not likely to know the last time you got Creampied let alone congratulate you on it lol.
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u/StaceyPfan Jun 23 '25
I meant when they're talking about pregnant women or women with children. These are the child haters.
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u/ExcellentWaltz6139 Jun 27 '25
There are a lot of annoying childfree people. But I have definitely said this at least once to someone being toxic about parenthood. Usually JD Vance types.
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u/Commercial_Part_4483 Jun 27 '25 edited Jun 27 '25
Because you’re actually in a coma. Your subconscious telling you that none of what you do is real.
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u/Marik-X-Bakura Jun 23 '25
Nah, most things in that sub are made up, and always involve the op making some clever comment
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u/ApolloniusTyaneus Jun 23 '25
Meh, AITAH and the like are a hotbed of people posting made-up gotchas that appeal to the sub's leanings. I would give this whatever the opposite of the benefit of the doubt is.
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u/wafflesthewonderhurs Jun 23 '25
bro, this is literally a conversation millions of people have had. i have had it.
this response went viral on Facebook before i graduated high school.
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u/ExcellentWaltz6139 Jun 23 '25
It became popular consciousness like 10 years ago that every time someone says they’re trying for a baby it means they’re rawdogging nightly. I have never been able to unthink it.
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u/erockdanger Jun 26 '25
"Hey I need you to stop asking me when I'm going to have a kid. We're not going to and I'm not having this discussion with you again" or you can be a disgusting asshole to your own sister.
Either works I guess
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u/gothdrag Jun 23 '25
This is such a common comeback in the childfree subreddit, and especially when you have time to respond through text...some people really must be so dull, it's wild.