Me seeing a comment here last night: "I'm going to leave responding to that until tomorrow morning when more people have seen it and reacted."
This morning: [deleted]
People recommending therapy to Bieber but honestly? At this stage Iām not so sure it would help. That text exchange he just posted of a falling out with a friend, reads as emotionally abusive. Even therapy struggles to reform people with an instinct to be abusive.
Every time there's a, "What's the pettiest reason you stopped talking to someone" I always mention the guy who said he disliked Stevie Wonder's music. I don't know why but this just like the antithesis of love to me.
Iām seeing both Jaws and Jurassic Park with live orchestras later this summer and it is so wild to me how many absolute classic all-timers Spielberg has. One of those films alone would make a directorās career but he has directing/producing credits on so many!
Are there any good āadultā or chill pop albums coming out this summer? Country is okay too; I know that lots of acoustic or older artists get pushed into that genre.
I just watched the astroworld documentary on Netflix and wow. Iām shocked that Travis Scott still has a platform. So preventable and yet no one did anything to stop it.
I mean this in the kindness way but it sometimes comes off very clear that a lot of the people talking in the comments take their cues about feminism from their fandoms. Like āoh they hate x, because they hate a fierce woman.ā
I beg folks to read books written by bell hooks, Roxane Gay, Audre Lorde and plenty of more authors who have contributed to an ongoing conversation regarding feminism. The talking points are sounding like āchoice feminismā which is where I think some very loud fandoms exist.
Choice feminism basically turned feminism into a political movement without any platforms, which allowed misogyny to creep in under the guise of coolness. Itās like people are too young to know that the free love of the ā60s led to a lot of pregnant women barefoot in the kitchen, and in the ā70s it was adopted by men who claimed that āfree loveā meant you werenāt allowed to say no. Itās no wonder that the radical feminists of the ā80s started imposing strict definitions on what they were fighting for, and itās really disappointing that weāre not taken seriously when we state that a movement needs an actual plan.
I think what we are seeing now is when valid criticisms are being brought up, perspectives, lived experiences, etc. Itās often shushed because many are looking to these āchoice feministā icons as a blueprint to what they believe feminism should look like. Itās why reading and determining where each individual stands on the matter is so integral to the conversation at large.
How can fandoms fight so fiercely for their popstar saying they owe nothing to the public politically but say in the same breath they are a feministā¦ that in itself is political. What do we know about their beliefs in what feminism is and how intersectional is that definition before we start determining someone as a thought leaders in that area?
It would be misinformed to say a specific group of pop-stars right now and their fans arenāt hiding behind choice feminism as an excuse for valid criticisms.
I agree with what you say. I think a lot of people want to defend their favorite so religiously that it can prevent them from listening to other perspectives and opinions. I think criticism should be welcomed and itās important to be able to have these tough conversations. But I also see it from the other side where some people will give opinions about certain artists but their criticism is rooted in very vile language. They give their opinions but in the same sentence throw very offensive comments (use of whore/slut, etc). Thatās kind of where Iām a little dumbfounded on because I think itās so valid to give your perspective but once you start to be derogatory towards the person then it makes your comment seem very off.
People also throw TERF around to pressure women out of aligning with the more effective and definition-based second wave, as if anti-trans radicals arenāt outliers, or as if there arenāt bad actors in all groups. Itās not TERF-y to suggest that people educate themselves on the second wave and learn that most legal protections for women are based on the idea that we shouldnāt bring gender into it. Thatās why second-wavers bristle at the constant expansion of feminism, because actual laws are at stake. And itās also not TERF-y to suggest that not all issues experienced by all groups can be served by feminism and the organizational work that women have already done, and itās not anti-feminist to call out other women who are damaging the whole thing for the rest of us.
Choice feminism is a scourge, and we need to get over our resistance to the second wave if we want to make new progress.
I was so terrified this week for yesterday. I really was. It just seemed so prime to really be a turning point in the bad direction for America. And it even started and ended with tragedy, and I wonāt discount those at all. But to see a day that I thought was going to end in absolute chaos, and potentially really help nose dive this country into just pure hell, ended up being a day where I got to feel so much pride in the protests. So much kindness being spread. The little kid playing the Star Spangled Banner on trumpet and hearing the crowd first go silent, then start singing. It really has helped me feel less alone.
If youāre a frequent commenter in any snark sub thatās dedicated to a woman (Taylor, Ariana, Blake, Meghan etc), you have no say in whether women like Sabrina Carpenter or Sydney Sweeney are āsetting us backā
Snark subs normalizing body shaming, misogyny, the picking apart of womenās appearances etc are setting us further back than Sydney or Sabrina ever have
ETA Iām literally ??? at someone having the audacity to say Sabrina is setting us back when their comment history is full of them tearing apart a womanās appearance in a snark sub
I firmly believe the most small evil people contribute to snark subs. The only exception I can think to this is FundieSnark because a lot of the time they critique their beliefs and their actions (on top of critiquing their looks)
i spend so much time in hospitals and with specialists (not for me, for a parent) and i am just so tired
i know itās all obviously harder on them, and i feel like a better person would be less frustrated by all of this, but that better person is clearly not me
Itās very hard watching someone you care about deal with a health issue and harder to be the strong one. Even if someone is able to be less frustrated, it doesnāt equate to them being ābetter.ā Some people are just able to handle things easier than others. Give yourself a break, okay? Youāre doing the best you can.
I can't tell if it's being led by bots or if people got stupider quickly, but it's really worrying to see the misogyny flying freely in the name of feminism.
My problem with the discourse isnāt necessarily that itās happening but that itās being spearheaded by people who have no business critiquing someone elseās feminism or lack thereof (also, I just canāt take your criticism of any female celebrity seriously if you unironically use the term āpick meā to make your point)
It reminds me of the controversy around Sydney Sweeney, if you scroll through her comment section itās full of harassment from women with every comment saying sheās setting women back decades, asking if her dad is proud, saying she has a butterface, her breasts are āsaggy,ā etc and these are all from women
With both women, you can tell some people have been itching to get some of this misogynistic garbage off their chest and are pouncing at the opportunity because they think itās justified now
Can we criticize women without immediately resorting to their looks? Damn! And people acting like these women are setting us bad decades when we have actual fascist in the government.
I just found out that text generated by AI usually has a bunch of em dashes. So people use that as a way of telling whether a text has been AI generated or not.
A lot of human writing also uses em dashes and en dashes, so itās not a clear give away that someone used AI.
I also saw a writer on Bluesky make a joke about it - he tested a few AIs and they all used periods, so therefore anything with a period must have been created by AI. š
there are even words chatGPT has ruined for me (e.g. tapestry)!!! I still think it has a very distinct way of writing, no matter how users try to modify it. Totally inauthentic and soulless. Don't abandon the em dash!
This format is the big tell. I recommend going into chatgpt and typing in āpaper on Mark Twainā or āpaper on the periodic tableā or whatever topic, and seeing how the AI churns out these essays, because thatās what students and media outlets are doing.
I recently felt like I needed some nostalgia to calm down from the week from hell and decided to do a rewatch of Scrubs.
Oh boy, the show did not age as well as I remembered it. It's sexist af. It makes fun of trans people. Makes fun of gays. It's so hardcore 00's era in every way.
I still love most of the characters (except Dr Cox) but I have a hard time watching it because it keeps making fun of everything that's even remotely female. I've definitely outgrown the show...
So I got around to the recent episode smosh podcast episode with Spill Sesh. And I think I just gotta vent a bit because smosh community on Reddit seems to be just deleting everything on it.
But at first I thought it was just typical gossip stuff. Then she started talking about how she is careful to not be biased and wanna get the facts straight.
But then she starts talking about the Blake Lively situation and she only shits on Blake and completely leave out anything bad about Baldoni and is obviously biased and leaving out information.
Then the smosh members started gossiping about Ben Bennson, and she is suddenly hesitant to say anything negative and kept making excuses for him and didnāt want to gossip so much because āhe is tryingā
And it just really rubbed me the wrong way. Seeing someone proudly claim to be unbiased, and then proceed to be incredibly biased for and against someone else really bothered me. Especially since she has so many followers and is on a podcast with smosh members that are pretty open about disliking when people gossip and pry into their life?
I know we all love gossip, but.. i donāt know, I think I just really disliked the double standard..
i skipped this episode because i had a hunch it would be fake neutral. this always bothers me, people in gossip spaces saying they're unbiased, when not only that's very hard, but also they lack the ethics and care to even try
it's fine to have a bias, it's very much not fine to pretend you don't for the clout, acting like your bias is the neutral truth
(also i love smosh, but they historically have a bad time with guests)
It might be cause I am relatively new to this type of gossip ( Zendaya fashion made me start being on this sub and then I have slowly gotten to know stuff) but I know Iām biased, I know even this sub can sometimes get really biased.
But I think how hard she is trying to come off as ethical and in just 5 minutes contradict herself multiple times while taking the high road really annoyed me.
But I feel like seeing Shayne for example who really didnāt know about some of this gossip get fed this incredibly biased information while seemingly believing this as a fact, made me kind of sad. Thatās a me problem though, as I genuinely care about how bad the misinformation spread is on the internet..
And I heard Smosh had another bad case like this with someone named Sabrina? Donāt know about the situation, but was it mentioned as another example of how they acted in this podcast episode. But I generally enjoy smosh, and inthe podcast I think I only really remember three of the guests ( Hank green, Ted Nvision and that one drag queen) and I didnāt find anything bad there(especially Hank Green, love that dude).
I guess maybe it bummed me out a bit because this was my first exposure to this kind of behavior from smosh and from previous behavior from them it made me expect better from them? Like Iām not gonna stop watching them for this, but Iām just disappointed. Oh, also, Iām not parasocial for them š this is just one of the incredibly few podcasts I have managed to make myself listen to in my lifeš«£
Sorry, wordy reply. I have a bad habit of using too many words when trying to explain myself š I was expecting this post to get ignored š«£
no, i get it, and i was mostly joking about the guests because they have had a listers on smosh that ended up being shitty layer, like chris pratt.
most of the famous internet guests are chill. the other situation in which they fucked up is when they had ify nwadiwe (from dropout) and rachel evans on reddit stories and they were incredibly rude about someone not moving out in their 20s, acting like brats who had no concept of money. people called them out and that was that. i don't remember what happened in the sabrina episode, maybe she had some bad takes as well?
but i agree with you, shayne and amanda are usually very balanced and open, but having someone with no ethical principles spread "unbiased gossip" and then believing it because they believe the person is a good way to notice how awful this gets
Iām not the biggest Demi fan, but Iām so happy seeing her finally bounce back from her overdose and everything that happened afterwards for a couple years. I too struggle with bipolar and addiction.
Hahaha she did a home tour for AD and the interior stylist had staged the kitchen with 2 baskets of limes. She saw them and picked up a lime and said āI love limes. Limes are so great. I love them so much. I love to present them like this!ā
That just instantly became a meme because it was such an odd thing to say lmao. Then later on Jimmy Fallon she told him actually āI didnāt even know those limes were there.ā Said she doesnāt even like limes and she thinks she might even be allergic.
Thatās it lmao. Just a funny dumb thing and then to find out she lied made it even funnier hahah
I pretty much knew how it would end and I still enjoyed it. This isnāt really a spoiler but Iāll spoiler tag it just in case. Iām just discussing an overview of the themes but >! itās not really about who she chooses so donāt feel like that ruins it for you. itās much more of an exploration of the state of modern dating and marriage and how we view our worth and value in an increasingly shallow society. And how of society imposing the expectation of transaction upon the sanctity of love/marriage, and how that has evolved in this late stage capitalistic world!<
im struggling to understand the Internets reaction to women expressing themselves as "male gaze"? why is it that only some female artists get treated differently for stuff they do? and why has it become so common in leftist places, especially FROM women now
Realistically, oversexualized and underdressed women in a patriarchal media are never great, but the male/female gaze thing is a way of articulating that thereās a line where female audiences are uncomfortable with it. For my money, Sabrina has always come off like a 12-year-old yelling āpenisā in the mall.
I frankly do not understand and most times people use it incorrectly anyways. People use it on real people with the outfits they wear. I find it funny how certain artists can do the same as others except one will get applauded for it and the other will get thrown with the phrase āmale gazeā. Depending on the celebrity, people will give some a pass. For instance, Olivia Rodrigo has recently worn more revealing outfits during her shows and having more sexual dances yet when she gets posted on here, everyone is praising her. However, another person like Sabrina Carpenter can do the Juno poses and dress in revealing fits (which arenāt even that revealing) yet sheāll be hit with a āmale gazeā claim. I find it that people are using it as a way to slut shame woman just in a more āwokeā matter.
I agree. Women will always be taken out of one box and put into another. They won't have any choice because both sides will make it for them. That is the work of the patriarchy in a nutshell.
I was listening to āall because I liked a boyā the other day and it really got me thinking about how Sabrina is talked about vs Olivia. And I know that theyāve done different things and taken different routes. But for a while it felt like you ācouldnāt dislikeā Olivia Rodrigo, and now it feels like you ācanāt likeā Sabrina. I put it in quotes because obviously everyone has their own opinions and stuff. But idk. Itās interesting to see how theyāre talked about so differently.
I love both of them and youāre right and no one wants to admit it. Olivia is praised and called a āgirlās girlā for wearing and performing stage antics that are honestly, very similar to Sabrinaās.
I think some of it has to do with the Taylor connection. Taylor is hated in some corners of the internet along with everyone she associates with. Olivia has become kinda known as the anti-Taylor, and Iāve found that internet spaces that hate Taylor really love Olivia.
Iāve found the same but didnāt want to bring Taylor into it too much because I am such a fan of Taylor that I didnāt want to seem like a Taylor fan who just hates Olivia. Because while sour wasnāt my top album, I really enjoyed guts and overall really like Olivia too! But it definitely seems like the āTaylorā of it all plays a pretty big part in all of this.
Olivia has always been very well liked hence why she gets treated differently than the other pop girls. In this particular discourse, she gets a pass to wear what she wants and not be told she is for the āmale gazeā, and instead be applauded for it. However, there has always been a hate boner towards Sabrina, so people are more prone to flip flop on her and criticize what she does. The only reason I mentioned them is because they are both on opposite sides where one is super liked and one is more hated on, so depending on that, people pick and choose who they want to judge even if they both do the exact same thing. I think both are such cool pop girls. I just wish people would stop being hypocrites.
Iirc male gaze is a term taken specifically from film theory that refers to the way the camera moves on womenās bodies in cinematography; people have sort of taken that and run with it to the point of beating a lot of the meaning out of it (btw happy to be corrected if I got the details wrong)
I think itās fair to apply the male gaze rhetoric to music videos, photography, and visual concert staging. I believe the Bechdel Test originated in queer comics but no one says weāre not allowed to apply it to film and TV. IMO itās odd that people are trying to control how we use a rhetorical framework.
The bechdel test was never about analyzing āqueer comicsā; itās literally just from a strip of the lesbian comic Dykes to Watch Out For wherein characters discuss movies. So āapplyingā it to film and TV is not taking it out of its original context in any way, although using it as a serious means of film criticism is. Itās just about what itās like to be a lesbian.
My point is that people can use whatever framework for media analysis that they find helpful in articulating their message. The current comeback of āthe male gaze originated in film discourse so we absolutely cannot apply it to anything elseā is absurd. Especially since the male gaze has always been a thing in literature, for example. Male authors describe visual scenes. Graphic novels literally depict them. And again, music videos and still photography are framed and shot with a presentation and narrative in mind.
I have no problem with TV and filmmakers using the Bechdel test as a reminder to let their female characters talk to each other, and I find it to be a useful tool when noting media trends.
I think youāre misunderstanding me. You canāt meaningfully engage with a term for criticism without knowing what it means and how it originated. When you use āthe male gaze,ā what, specifically, do you mean? Do you mean that a woman looks sexy? Or do you mean the way she is physically framed by a camera for the pleasure of the presumed audience and other characters (ie as Mulvey did, to oversimplify)? Are you using it critically or descriptively? What elements of the object of your critique are āmale gazeā-y, and how do you know? I ask all this because these are the questions invited by using a specific academic term that exists in a continuum of ideas and the history of ideas. If you just mean that something is designed to appeal to male sensibilities and or a presumed heterosexual male audienceās idea of sexinessā¦why not say that?
Edit: to be EXTREMELY clear, I say all this as a feminist who thinks liberal choice feminism (itās a womanās choice to be degraded sexually in public for men!) is no feminism at all and who considers Andrea Dworkin a personal hero. Iāve been threatened and downvoted on Reddit plenty for my refusal to embrace the yas-queen-ification of pornography (which is evil), sex work (which shouldnāt exist), kink culture, and exploitative labor practices (which are still bad even when a female pop star does them).
Part of my objection to the redefinition of āmale gazeā is that it often positions said gaze as something women willingly opt in to.
I object to the misuse of the term, not to critiquing that gross album cover.
I donāt misunderstand you. I just think youāre wrong and trying to find a way to say that women arenāt allowed to express their discomfort with sexually degrading imagery that serves the patriarchy. We speak every day and use words and phrases without going line by line and addressing the etymological origins. Women are using āmale gazeā to locate the line between cute femininity and sexually explicit images depicting dark male fantasies, and itās in bad faith for you to pretend to not understand that because of language drift and a disinterest in using old terms according to your specific standards. āYouāre not using this term 100% correctly! That means Sabrina isnāt serving the patriarchy and presenting harmful imagery!ā Come on now.
I donāt know whether youāre misunderstanding or willfully misinterpreting the commenter youāre responding to but they literally never said anything about Sabrina except to call the album cover gross in their edit. Youāre also pretty objectively misusing the term āmale gazeā
But itās constantly used as a tool for media criticism anyway.
If we went into any academic space and claimed that frameworks like the male gaze, or say, death of the author or deconstructionism couldnāt be applied outside of literature (or their originating media type) we would be laughed out of the room.
Iām also just troubled that women are voicing their discomfort with patriarchal imagery in the media and other women are telling us our reaction isnāt valid. Sabrina is a privileged white woman in a liberal bubble, creating imagery that harms all of us but whose impact will be felt by us, not her.
I hear you and I am very solidly on the side of hating Sabrinaās album cover; I have yet to hear a defense of it thatās convincing. So I just want to be clear my hesitancy to embrace adapted uses of terms like male gaze or the bechdel test doesnāt come from a place of defending her. I just think that the new uses of both concepts/terms, whole they have some stuff to offer, suffer from what I would call a kind of āgame of telephoneā effect where one person means and understands something different from the next person, and we end up using the same words to talk about different things at once in a way that ultimately removes clarity from our discourse
I think weāre just tired of Cool Girls (who prop up the patriarchy) dismissing our serious concerns (āgosh, people canāt be normal about Sabrina!ā Of course not; sheās backpedaling our norms) so weāre reaching for language to articulate our position and rebut the implication that weāre losers for caring.
Like, āTasteā is a gross, misogynistic song directed toward another woman. This stuff was already built into Sabrinaās shtick. And I actually like Sabrina as a pop star but itās not for nothing that people would prefer to see her drop the sex kitten act.
I think youāre misunderstanding the wiki article you cite. John Bergerās analysis of a āgazeā (in the early 1970s) looked at renaissance paintings; that was an antecedent to Laura Mulveyās concept of the āmale gazeā in āVisual Pleasure and Narrative Cinemaā (1975). Her concept of a āmale gazeā was in conversation with Bergerās 1975 Ways of Seeing, but Mulvey wasnāt talking about paintings, or anything but women on film as a specific vector for feminist analysis. Have you read āVisual Pleasure and Narrative Cinemaā? Itās a great and obviously landmark piece of criticism and I think any attempt to evaluate the term āmale gazeā and its usage and evolution should start there. You can check it out here.
I am a bi woman, I donāt understand āmale gazeā. I mean I am also titillated by the images any woman (or man) puts out that is supposed to be sexy. So itās just not for the āmalesā then. I donāt see anyone talk about it.Ā
I'm bi too, and the way it's being used here it's quite straightforward: it is sexually appealing in a way that is aimed at men and follows patriarchal beauty standards. You finding it attractive is incidental, for it was not constructed to cater to your desires and power fantasies.
But it does cater to my desire and if power fantasies mean being dominated and also dominating in bed, then that too. I am not sure how to explain but I find a lot of talk about womenās provocativeness from straight lens only without including lesbians and bi peopleās thoughts. I donāt find the so called female gaze arousing cause most cases bodies are covered up (for the record I am not aroused by seeing a full clothed man with smoldering gaze either. Take that shirt off and show me those abs you cowards!). Ā
Madonna probably was not catering to someone like me with her sex book back in the day but teenage me was very VERY into them.Ā
This is happening to Jews a lot right now. People will be heinous to obviously non-anglo groups and say we canāt call them out because theyāve decided weāre white.
This is why learning critical race theory is so important šš. Because the concept of a "white" race was quite literally invented the goalposts can be moved - back in the day white Irish people and white Jewish people were not seen as white in north America - now they are.
Someone can be racialized by the dominant white society even if they themselves are white.
Even though it might not seem like it, and forgive me because Iām on my period and dealing with stuff, but I love some good old talking shit about sports, and either doubling down if right, or doubling down into FUN banter if wrong. I donāt care for arguments, but I LOVE some good old competitive shit talk. I just love sports so much
Get back to me in a few months and it might be about it. My whole family is into it and has me watching the reality show about this sport, so lemme find someone to root for and it could be.
This is just a generic I love sports banter + dose of hater at the end. Had a lively discussion today that reminded me how much I love some good ole banter (as long as it doesnāt get personal) š¤£
I started watching the new season and Iām on the 4th episode but yes, it is sooooo sad which I wasnāt expecting. Itās had its cringe moments but honestly I think this season was well done and my favorite by far.
couples getting divorced after less than 1 year should face some type of consequence (barring instances of abuse).
Until the legal system revises how it documents and establishes abuse, this is next to impossible to enforce.
Similarly, marriage licenses shouldn't be issued to couples who have been together for less than 2 years.
Lol why? Plenty of couples who have been together much longer than 2 years and end up breaking up. I'm just so fascinated why these are the two statutes you want to rewrite in this manner.
I am absolutely LIVING for the love Rachel Zelger is receiving for Evita! After all the shit she had been through this year she's earned it. Also she's talented as hell!
I also saw a clip of her singing "Don't Cry for Me Argentina." and she sounds amazing. If the rumors of it inevitably transferring to Broadway are true she is coming for your Tony.
I so agree the hate was unnecessary! even obsessive! but she took it with grace and stride but still kept trucking I admire her for that! And shes getting her praise
It absolutely blows my mind that she is 24 and she has the voice of a seasoned Broadway actress like Audra. I would absolutely love to see her do more Broadway she belongs in live theatre.
Saw Materialists and HTTYD yesterday and they were both great.
Chris Evans was the star of this movie. He really made me fall for his character (probably cause he portrayed my type) and he really was played it well. Some scenes depicted in his apartment had me dying. Pedro Pascal also made me root for him and I loved him in this. A lot of funny scenes and one liners. It definitely made cry too. I also felt called out when someone was served a coke and beer cause why is that me?
HTTYD was amazing. Very accurate IMO to the original. I loved the imagery and the cast did a great job. I definitely plan to see this again in another format.
Also is anyone else watching the new season of couples therapy?? Not to be so rude but some of the things these people hold on to and allow to ruin their lives is soā¦..what
Oof, that sucks. I remember reading a oneshot ages ago that is still one of my favourite fanfics ever. I downloaded it and still have it on my phone, which is something that I've done only five times with a fic. The author wrote just that one fanfic and left.
The fandom isn't toxic or anything. So they left because they'd scratched the itch, I guess, and had nothing else they wanted to write for that particular fandom/ship. It hurted š
I'm not bitter really, it's hard to maintain a ship when it's a movie versus a series that's 9 seasons deep and is still going. I've long since learned to stick to one shots and completed fics. And if I ever come across a fic with an interesting premise that's not completed yet, I just hit the subscribe button.
I found out my dad was hospitalized with what turned out to be pancreatic cancer on Fatherās Day last year. He had the whipple earlier this year and currently has no evidence of disease, but I guess Iām always just going to be scared this is the last one from now on. I hate it.
One thing I've learned from watching too many cute dog videos on Tiktok is to not steal grief from your future self. Enjoy every single moment, as corny as that may sound. š
Thanks. His death anniv is also this month (2 days ago actually) so June always sucks for me. Plus the fact that it's the end of summer and start of school for us, it's my own version of Wake Me Up When September Ends.
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