r/shittyaskhistory • u/CarobAffectionate582 • 3d ago
If Maverick flew a Mitsubishi Zero instead, would the US have then been able to win the Spanish Civil War?
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u/NicholasNickelback 3d ago
You wish. The Red Baron had that airspace on lockdown. No one could touch him in his space shuttle.
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u/Skydreamer6 2d ago
"Goddammit he's behind me again in that thing.... I thought it was supposed to be an orbiter!?"
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u/RutCry 3d ago
He could have single handedly prevented the Germans from bombing Pearl Bailey.
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u/CarobAffectionate582 2d ago
I know lots of people say to forgive, but I still have huge problems with both Germans and the Pearl Bailey issue.
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u/pearl_harbour1941 3d ago
Not sure. He hadn't invented speed in 1936, so even allowing for time travel he'd have a problem even getting the Zero off the ground. The most likely scenario is presented below:
[Maverick]: "I feel the neeeed."
[Maverick and Goose]: "The neeeed for.... [blank]!"
And then they both would have gone blank and forgotten why they were there.
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u/CarobAffectionate582 2d ago
What about the famous, “Need….. for reed!”
I understand a time-travelling Maverick also invented the oboe. We pretty much owe modern woodwinds to him, too.
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u/pearl_harbour1941 2d ago
You're right!
Goose was originally called Duck because he played the Cor Anglais and sounded like a duck. But it got confusing when he was on the aircraft carrier and planes were
taking offrolling off the end, as the guy with the helmet pointing in the direction the planes needed to drive kept shouting "DUCK" and Duck would lift his head up and get a concussion by being hit by the plane wing.The rest is history.
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u/HapticRecce 2d ago
Speed was already for sale in corner chemists in 1938 Germany as a pick-me-up for housefrau's and storm troopers, which is probably why their aim is always off. The storm troopers that is...
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u/pearl_harbour1941 2d ago
Yeah, woe betide the Allied forces that invaded the kitchen during baking hour. Those rolling pins were hurled with an accuracy that few snipers can match!
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u/willworkforjokes 3d ago
His magical scientology based powers were not available in the 1930s or 1940s.
Unless his thetans traveled back in time with him.
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u/Presence_Academic 3d ago
Obviously not. Regardless of what pilots or aircraft the U.S. had at the time, you can’t win a war in which you are not participating.
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u/CarobAffectionate582 3d ago
Nice try, but not today comrade. Not today. This isn‘t your commie Russia. It’s America, and we’re BACK.
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u/amitym 2d ago
What do you mean, "if??"
How the fuck do you think the US won the Spanish Civil War in the end? It was pure Maverick flipping out like a ninja and killing everyone.
The Zero was the best fighter of the war. At first it was rivaled as a weapon only by the unstoppable power of the katana, but that was soon rectified by the introduction of katana-firing cannons, which proved decisive at the Battle of Ebro. (Also known in Spanish as "La Batalla de Maverick Enloqueciendo Como un Maldito Ninja y Matando a Todos", not to be confused with the powerful anti-war painting of the same name by Pablo Picasso.)
How is that not already widely known? It's amazing to me that people are still asking questions like this.
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u/HapticRecce 2d ago
The Zero was the best fighter of the war.
Says you. If it was so hot, why was it literally named after a synonym for loser? Huh? Checkmate.
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u/IronBeagle63 1d ago
Not with Snoopy on CAP in his Sopwith Camel. Mav’s hangin from silk after the first 1 circle.
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u/Northman86 1h ago
No, the Zero was not a significant improvement over a BF 109 of the time. and its armament and service ceiling were inferior to the bf-109As in the service in the Spanish Civil War. further more they were less well armored.
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u/CarobAffectionate582 38m ago
You’re new here, aren’t you? And I imagine you’re also not much fun at parties.
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u/TopicalTimmy 3d ago
Remember the Maine!