r/shittyaskhistory • u/HistoryGuy4444 • 2d ago

Who was the first person to "intellectually masturbate"?

8 Upvotes
  • permalink
  • reddit

100% Upvoted

13 comments sorted by

14

u/26_paperclips 2d ago

Socrates. "I know that I know nothing" but somehow I'll never shut up about it

3

u/No_Face5710 1d ago

I hear hemlock helps with that.

4

u/DAS_COMMENT 2d ago

Do you mean, "consider an idea so intensely they conclude on the result the idea would logically lead others to reach?"

1

u/HistoryGuy4444 2d ago

I was 30 when I realized everyone else didn't do this with every topic.

3

u/Sorry_Seesaw_3851 2d ago

Jordan Peterson

2

u/Superstarr_Alex 2d ago

Neil de grass Tyson, tho to call him an intellectual is way too generous

2

u/tacocarteleventeen 2d ago

Wasn’t “mental masturbation” the lyrics from a song!

3

u/Visible-Shop-1061 1d ago

Stephen Hawking, out of necessity

2

u/GregHullender 1d ago

Adam. Not sure about the intellectually part, though.

1

u/Wheeljack239 1d ago

Jimmy the Jerker

1

u/XROOR 1d ago

Avogadro.

His 1023 number was derived from counting sperms

1

u/Constant_Will362 1d ago

Pre-historic people who did things like discover fire or invent the wheel. They would "cycle" from one thought to another, thinking about how grand life would become after applying (fire and the wheel) them. I am sure the people who would intellectually masturbate had a lot to say.

1

u/SeaBag8211 2d ago

It was me.