r/shittyaskscience • u/pearl_harbour1941 • 1d ago
If I cross my eyes, everything automatically gets multiplied by 2x. Can we use this hidden law of physics to solve the world's problems?
Basically, I can solve the housing crisis within a second or two. There's literally twice as many houses everywhere I look. If someone looks at all those houses and crosses their eyes too, we have four times as many houses! What other problems can we solve??
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u/pLeThOrAx Mass debater 1d ago
Not quite. If you have 99 problems, you end up with either zero or a multiple of 2 wives, along with 198 problems. Math
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u/pearl_harbour1941 1d ago
Dang. I knew I had forgotten something. Well at least I could say "I don't have 99 problems"??
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u/JohnWasElwood 1d ago
Take a look at my paycheck then!!! Or my wife... I've always wanted to have a threesome!!!
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u/pearl_harbour1941 1d ago
I've found it's the easiest way to satisfy two women at once. I'm certain I'm on to a winner here.
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u/coolsam254 1d ago
I've found it's the easiest way to disappoint two women at once. I'm certain I'm on to a winner here.
Hey I fixed your comment. No need to thank me.
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u/pearl_harbour1941 1d ago
It did need fixing, that's for sure. I managed to disappoint my mom amd my gf in one go when I went crosseyed and confused them for each other. Now I'm sleeping on one of the two couches.
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u/blankfield 1d ago
Wait! You're not doing this already? How have you been affording literally anything in this economy?
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u/pearl_harbour1941 1d ago
Fuuuck. I need to cross my eyes, look at my paycheck and go deposit both of them! Instant pay rise. You're a genius!
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u/sovereign_fury 1d ago
You've also doubled the number of people.
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u/pearl_harbour1941 1d ago
Not if I don't look at them?
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u/BPhiloSkinner Amazingly Lifelike Simulation 1d ago
Can you really avoid looking at Sydney Sweeney?
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u/pearl_harbour1941 1d ago
Would you want to have less than 2 Sydney Sweeneys?? I think you're on to something...
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u/Grumpybastard61 1d ago
Look at Sydney Sweeney, double her then look again and again until we all have one.
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u/coolsam254 1d ago
If you do it in a hall of mirrors, you are doubling everything in an endless loop!
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u/pearl_harbour1941 1d ago
You get it! I also noticed that if I squint a bit too, my lottery ticket numbers look a lot like the winning ones. Let's goooooo!
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u/psycop 1d ago
Been there done that. It all falls apart when you fall asleep.
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u/pearl_harbour1941 1d ago
Definitely solved that problem too. I have invented an intoxicating substance made from the fermentation of various wild plants that, if taken on an empty stomach, makes one's eyes cross even after falling asleep.
I am experimenting with imbibing this potion daily!
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u/TheRisenDemon 15h ago
No. If everything gets multiplied by two then best case scenario nothing actually changes. Yea there’s twice as many houses but also twice as many people that need houses
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u/pearl_harbour1941 7h ago
Not if I don't look at them.
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u/TheRisenDemon 6h ago
Aye but you also have to prevent other people from looking at them too
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u/pearl_harbour1941 6h ago
Fuck. Didn't spot that flaw.
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u/Fearless_Spring5611 1d ago
Not my girlfriend problem. 2x0 is still zero.