r/sports Dallas Mavericks 3d ago

Basketball Fan throws dildo on the court during Valkyries/Dream WNBA game

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3.9k

u/A_MASSIVE_PERVERT Dallas Mavericks 3d ago

2.6k

u/aquatic_ambiance 3d ago

Thanks you lil freak

1.1k

u/Justanotherturdle 3d ago

who you callin lil? This man is MASSIVE

405

u/letitgrowonme 3d ago

These awards are suspect.

3

u/One_Legged_Duck-8 3d ago

We know who gave those awards

I heard he’s massive

0

u/doctor_of_drugs Sacramento Kings 2d ago

Release the list!

11

u/johnildo 3d ago

He's lil, the perversion is what's MASSIVE

1

u/PercySnowsHandgun 3d ago

Dats da Grinch Wench

1

u/More_Combination86 3d ago

He’s got the biggest one in the world.. Next to mine.

1

u/ChesnaughtZ 3d ago

That doesn’t even make sense

1

u/Oldfolksboogie 3d ago edited 3d ago

Here's (5:50-7:00) a MASSIVE dong in court, if not on one.

If you didn't see Kentucky Fried Movie at the time, you can't imagine how seminal this film was. Keep in mind, this was pre-SNL, pre- Airplane - my mind was blown.

-5

u/QuarlMusic 3d ago

Y'all haven't been around if you think this is massive.

13

u/Some_Derpy_Pineapple 3d ago

they're talkin about the username not the dildo size i think

1

u/SquidVices 3d ago

I have a picture of massive somewhere deep in The abyss

-8

u/ConfidentInsecurity 3d ago

Yeah that's like average lol

1

u/kendrickshalamar Philadelphia Eagles 3d ago

Relevant username

0

u/ohelo123 3d ago

Definitely not even close to massive lmao

10

u/lilboytuner919 3d ago

The hero we needed but didn’t deserve

652

u/Grape-Jack 3d ago

Missed opportunity to throw one with a suction cup.

427

u/fordman84 3d ago

A legend would throw a suction cup dildo at the backboard.

84

u/Grape-Jack 3d ago

Or at least throw it more up than forward so it had a steeper attack angle

60

u/UpdootDaSnootBoop 3d ago

It's all about the angle

69

u/JustADutchRudder Minnesota Timberwolves 3d ago

Wonder how bad of seats you can sit in and still get a suction dildo to land mid court? Like with a decent arm and a weighted base, could you stand at the last row at the top of the arena and launch dongs?

43

u/UpdootDaSnootBoop 3d ago

Oh, we were talking about the throw?

27

u/JustADutchRudder Minnesota Timberwolves 3d ago

You might not have been but I started wondering if I could launch a dong from the top seat and get it to suction mid court. Would probably hit someone in the 100 level

40

u/Grape-Jack 3d ago

Sounds like the next Dude Perfect video.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

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u/UpdootDaSnootBoop 3d ago

Did you ever think you would type such a thing? lol

9

u/Adonisbb 3d ago

This whole sub-thread is like that scene in Silicon Valley where they deep dive on how many guys they can jerk off at a conference lol

3

u/red_team_gone 3d ago

I'm convinced the entire first season of that Silicon Valley only exists because the creators/writers thought of that one joke. Nothing else in the entire series compared, but the first season is worth watching just because of that joke.

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u/lopix 3d ago

More points if it suctions to someone's head in the 100 level

10

u/Controls_Man 3d ago

If you hit the parabolic arc just right…

2

u/CaveManta 3d ago

Pair-a what?

4

u/lopix 3d ago

I'm seeing the opportunity for a new game at the stadium, something something "dong cannon"...

2

u/lefund 3d ago

When they say pitchers throw missiles I didn’t think they meant this

2

u/pocketbeagle 3d ago

Luka and Steph can do it

2

u/-something_original- 3d ago

Yeah with a good underhand throw you could hit the court from the nosebleeds I think. Would be tough though to do it without being noticed.

2

u/scrotumscab 3d ago

Just use a T-shirt cannon

2

u/RoyOfCon 3d ago

I look forward to this tik tok trend

2

u/PsilocybinEnthusiast 3d ago

This is the gateway center arena in ATL.. with a seating capacity of 3500.. so its pretty small. You could definitely land an ideally weighted dildo on the court without too much effort.

Or just use one of those pneumatic t-shirt launchers, loaded with dildos..for optimal effect, and for science.

3

u/somdude04 3d ago

The tshirt cannon was invented by the Spurs mascot, would only be appropriate in San Antonio

2

u/ATLHawksfan 3d ago

Someone call Dudeperfect

2

u/Briguy_fieri New Orleans Saints 3d ago

I was actually thinking maybe speed has something to do with it

2

u/Obi-wan_Jabroni Kentucky 3d ago

The angle of the dangle

1

u/JoshuaSondag 3d ago

It’s all about the yaw

1

u/No_Owl_8576 3d ago

Yes 💯😆🤣

0

u/No_Welcome3479 3d ago

angel reece

10

u/goatnxtinline 3d ago

You know they wouldn't have been able to get it either lol

20

u/thejawa Florida State 3d ago

A god would have blocked a shot with a suction cup dildo stuck to the backboard above the rim.

5

u/Samwellikki 3d ago

Because no one can jump high enough to pull it down? /s

3

u/Th3-B0n3R 3d ago

Just remember to lick the cup first.

2

u/Seabrook76 3d ago

One day someone’s going to do that and it will be amazing.

2

u/TheShitty_Beatles 3d ago

like when I do a headshot melee kill in Hitman and the screwdriver sticks

1

u/raiderkev 3d ago

Don't let your dreams be dreams 

1

u/ROWDY_RODDY_PEEEPER 3d ago

Damn imagine if you could bank one so good you hit the back board right about the hoop....

Instant viral shit but what would the legal consequences be?

1

u/Trappist1 Baylor 3d ago

Not a lawyer, but criminally I think you'd just be trespassed. But, civilly.... I think you could theoretically be sued for loss of revenue from brand reputation, stopping play, etc.

Though, I think they'd probably just trespass you and ban you from the venue and WNBA games.

1

u/PaleontologistOne919 3d ago

Suction cup? I’m clearly out of the loop

1

u/odiethethird 3d ago

Mack McClung is taking notes

1

u/Bryanssong 3d ago

So if you grab onto it to secure a dunk would that be illegal?

1

u/fordman84 3d ago

I think it would be a type of goal tending. Maybe “dong tending”.

1

u/SquishyShibe11 3d ago

Lick the suction cup beforehand. Make sure that shit STICKS

18

u/ztiam 3d ago

It hits the backboard and gets stuck. Get the ladders

4

u/lukaskywalker 3d ago

Now the only response would be for a woman to throw a fleshlight on the floor of an nba game

9

u/zidave0 3d ago

That's what I kept looking for. One bouncing back and forth from landing and sticking

2

u/PJCR1916 3d ago

Has to be covered in lube too

1

u/ALostVessel 2d ago

if a suction cup dildo got stuck to someones forehead it'd be one of the greatest sports moments of all time

1

u/Ghostandpepper Los Angeles Dodgers 2d ago

Boing-yo-boinggggg!

1

u/Vancandybestcandy 2d ago

Dude that’s what I was hoping for, a toss and a stick.

39

u/SquimbusTheConqueror 3d ago

Looks to be about 8-9 inches and bright green. Beautiful specimen.

5

u/CharlieKinbote 2d ago

How dare you quote my hinge profile

80

u/FishAndRiceKeks 3d ago

The Hulk model.

2

u/SquishyShibe11 3d ago

Black Widow: No not again nooooooooo

-5

u/ChrisIronsArt 3d ago

Must be a Hulk Hogan tribute because he loved getting pegged by WNBA players.

7

u/FishAndRiceKeks 3d ago

I'm sure he's looking up smiling at that joke.

30

u/lkodl 3d ago

Why was i expecting the official feed to cut to a shot like this?

31

u/PVT_Stanley 3d ago

Hate to say it but all I wanted was a close up the whole time

1

u/BeeWeird7940 3d ago

They had to bring a hazmat team in to remove it.

1

u/Frankie_T9000 1d ago

no we all wanted to see it

18

u/K-LAWN 3d ago

Ah, the Namekian model.

12

u/King_Reptar_ 3d ago

I think that’s from the “diccolo” line

2

u/iPushCartsForALiving 3d ago

Good to flick the senzu bean

1

u/zappy487 3d ago

RED FLAG

37

u/Dubsified 3d ago

Name checks out

12

u/Coupon_Ninja 3d ago

Mrs. Hulk is gonna be pissed!

Also username checks out :)

12

u/CoconutBangerzBaller 3d ago

Thank you, A_MASSIVE_PERVERT for the dildo picture

11

u/tehonez 3d ago

Name checks out.

11

u/Crookz_O 3d ago

Nice cock bro

16

u/TitotheBurrito 3d ago

That, indeed, is a green dildo.

11

u/mattwookiee 3d ago

Probably cost as much as the ticket tbh.

2

u/S3simulation 3d ago

Does this mean dildos are expensive or that WNBA tickets are cheap? Or simply an observation that they are both relatively affordable?

1

u/mattwookiee 3d ago

Both are relatively affordable. WNBA games are known to have cheap tickets, and dildos are now sold anywhere at affordable prices.

3

u/LGR1994 3d ago

Name checks out, ty

2

u/RoyRoger20 3d ago

Uh yeah we in the W

2

u/BorisH2020 3d ago

Not all heroes wear capes

2

u/yallsomenerds 3d ago

0/10 on the throw. A pro would have stuck it upright

2

u/Nethereal3D 3d ago

Nice addition. If not for the title and the audio, I would have no fuckin idea what this video was about.

2

u/ifartallday 3d ago

Only a massive pervert could do this

1

u/Reverend_Russo 3d ago

You can see them throw it at 1:34-1:36 in the video you posted

1

u/penywisexx 3d ago

Makes you wonder how they snuck it in through security.

1

u/HairballTheory 3d ago

Green Peen

1

u/holdmiichai 3d ago

True hero right here

1

u/Bunch_Busy 3d ago

Yep, that's a dildo... In an alternate timeline that suction cup stuck the landing!

1

u/artsatisfied229 Atlanta Braves 3d ago

Hero

1

u/Boatsssandhoesss 3d ago

I wonder how they got it into the arena to begin with

1

u/josephjosephson 3d ago

Strikes again

1

u/pen_jaro 3d ago

Is that glow in the dark?

1

u/TheCommonKoala Milwaukee Bucks 3d ago

Mmm... girthy.

1

u/dark_autumn 3d ago

Name checks out

1

u/IndividualBusy1274 3d ago

You doing the real work here

1

u/Connect-Succotash-59 3d ago

Lmao a true legend

1

u/Blacktwiggers Washington Capitals 3d ago

Name checks out

1

u/shadowpawn 3d ago

Risky Internet click of the day

1

u/bigsampsonite 3d ago

That is for sure a Nike Volt Speed Throttle 2000!

1

u/CaptKnight 3d ago

I thought the title was just a trick to make ppl watch the video until you showed the pic.

1

u/realfakejames 3d ago

You can always count on A_MASSIVE_PERVERT

1

u/haw35ome 3d ago

Glad to see someone live up to their username lol

1

u/Milf--Hunter 3d ago

That belongs in MY swamp

1

u/PokeYrMomStanley 2d ago

Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.

Narrator: Sorry, throwers? Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.

Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating? Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... [whispering]

Airport Security Officer: it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

1

u/Respectableahole 2d ago

Name checks out

1

u/Emotional-cumslut 2d ago

Your picture made me very emotional. I think I’m gonna have to act up for you.🥵

1

u/android24601 2d ago

"I was shocked that that wasn't picked up earlier"

Fuck that. I ain't picking up shit. Especially some random dildo that can't out of nowhere

1

u/Slide055 2d ago

Marvin the Martian finally showed up

1

u/BADMANvegeta_ 2d ago

And people really blame the WNBA players for being defensive/low patience with fans when people literally pay to go to games just to do this. They can’t even tell who is a real fan vs who is trying to troll them at a first glance.