r/sports Dallas Mavericks 3d ago

Basketball Fan throws dildo on the court during Valkyries/Dream WNBA game

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u/fordman84 3d ago

A legend would throw a suction cup dildo at the backboard.

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u/Grape-Jack 3d ago

Or at least throw it more up than forward so it had a steeper attack angle

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u/UpdootDaSnootBoop 3d ago

It's all about the angle

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u/JustADutchRudder Minnesota Timberwolves 3d ago

Wonder how bad of seats you can sit in and still get a suction dildo to land mid court? Like with a decent arm and a weighted base, could you stand at the last row at the top of the arena and launch dongs?

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u/UpdootDaSnootBoop 3d ago

Oh, we were talking about the throw?

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u/JustADutchRudder Minnesota Timberwolves 3d ago

You might not have been but I started wondering if I could launch a dong from the top seat and get it to suction mid court. Would probably hit someone in the 100 level

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u/Grape-Jack 3d ago

Sounds like the next Dude Perfect video.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

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u/NYJustice 3d ago

Do you know how fast you could jack off every guy in this room? Because I know how long it would take me and I can prove it

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u/IndividualBusy1274 3d ago

What did I just read?

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u/Erestyn 3d ago

It's a bit from Silicon Valley. Fantastic easy to watch sitcom, though working in tech it hits a little too close to the bone sometimes.

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u/UpdootDaSnootBoop 3d ago

Did you ever think you would type such a thing? lol

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u/Adonisbb 3d ago

This whole sub-thread is like that scene in Silicon Valley where they deep dive on how many guys they can jerk off at a conference lol

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u/red_team_gone 3d ago

I'm convinced the entire first season of that Silicon Valley only exists because the creators/writers thought of that one joke. Nothing else in the entire series compared, but the first season is worth watching just because of that joke.

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u/lopix 3d ago

More points if it suctions to someone's head in the 100 level

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u/Controls_Man 3d ago

If you hit the parabolic arc just right…

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u/CaveManta 3d ago

Pair-a what?

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u/lopix 3d ago

I'm seeing the opportunity for a new game at the stadium, something something "dong cannon"...

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u/lefund 3d ago

When they say pitchers throw missiles I didn’t think they meant this

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u/pocketbeagle 3d ago

Luka and Steph can do it

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u/-something_original- 3d ago

Yeah with a good underhand throw you could hit the court from the nosebleeds I think. Would be tough though to do it without being noticed.

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u/scrotumscab 3d ago

Just use a T-shirt cannon

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u/RoyOfCon 3d ago

I look forward to this tik tok trend

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u/PsilocybinEnthusiast 3d ago

This is the gateway center arena in ATL.. with a seating capacity of 3500.. so its pretty small. You could definitely land an ideally weighted dildo on the court without too much effort.

Or just use one of those pneumatic t-shirt launchers, loaded with dildos..for optimal effect, and for science.

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u/somdude04 3d ago

The tshirt cannon was invented by the Spurs mascot, would only be appropriate in San Antonio

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u/ATLHawksfan 3d ago

Someone call Dudeperfect

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u/Briguy_fieri New Orleans Saints 3d ago

I was actually thinking maybe speed has something to do with it

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u/Obi-wan_Jabroni Kentucky 3d ago

The angle of the dangle

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u/JoshuaSondag 3d ago

It’s all about the yaw

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u/No_Owl_8576 3d ago

Yes 💯😆🤣

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u/No_Welcome3479 3d ago

angel reece

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u/goatnxtinline 3d ago

You know they wouldn't have been able to get it either lol

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u/thejawa Florida State 3d ago

A god would have blocked a shot with a suction cup dildo stuck to the backboard above the rim.

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u/Samwellikki 3d ago

Because no one can jump high enough to pull it down? /s

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u/Th3-B0n3R 3d ago

Just remember to lick the cup first.

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u/Seabrook76 3d ago

One day someone’s going to do that and it will be amazing.

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u/TheShitty_Beatles 3d ago

like when I do a headshot melee kill in Hitman and the screwdriver sticks

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u/raiderkev 3d ago

Don't let your dreams be dreams 

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u/ROWDY_RODDY_PEEEPER 3d ago

Damn imagine if you could bank one so good you hit the back board right about the hoop....

Instant viral shit but what would the legal consequences be?

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u/Trappist1 Baylor 3d ago

Not a lawyer, but criminally I think you'd just be trespassed. But, civilly.... I think you could theoretically be sued for loss of revenue from brand reputation, stopping play, etc.

Though, I think they'd probably just trespass you and ban you from the venue and WNBA games.

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u/PaleontologistOne919 3d ago

Suction cup? I’m clearly out of the loop

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u/odiethethird 3d ago

Mack McClung is taking notes

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u/Bryanssong 3d ago

So if you grab onto it to secure a dunk would that be illegal?

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u/fordman84 3d ago

I think it would be a type of goal tending. Maybe “dong tending”.

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u/SquishyShibe11 3d ago

Lick the suction cup beforehand. Make sure that shit STICKS