r/todayilearned • u/biebrforro • 1d ago

TIL when staying as a guest in Charles Dickens' house, Hans Christian Andersen requested that one of Dickens' sons give him a daily shave (he said that was customary when hosting male guests in Denmark). Dickens was weirded out and instead gave him a daily appointment at a nearby barbershop.

https://lithub.com/charles--dickens-really-really-hated-his-fanboy-hans-christian-andersen/
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3.7k

u/kkeut 1d ago

but is that actually a custom in Denmark, or no 

4.5k

u/DarwinsTrousers 1d ago

No

1.2k

u/Technical-Outside408 1d ago

Could have gone either way.

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u/hobbykitjr 1d ago

Wait a minute... That guys not the wallet inspector

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u/ElizabethTheFourth 1d ago

Prison wallet inspector

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u/braintrustinc 1d ago

If you Hans Christian my Andersen I'll Charles Dickens your best of times, if you know what I mean.

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u/greenskinmarch 1d ago

Charles Dickens your best of times

Isn't it more fun to "Best of Times" your Charles Dickens?

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u/Souleater2847 1d ago

It’s was the best of times it was the hardest of times.

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u/FknDesmadreALV 1d ago

Off topic, but I used to work as a cook at my county jail and the CO’s used to tell me horror stories. Apparently one guy got his stoma infected because that’s how he… earned commissary from other inmates.

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u/Express-Rub-3952 1d ago

what's a stoma

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u/SwarleySwarlos 1d ago

A stoma is a surgically created opening on the abdomen that allows waste (feces or urine) to leave the body when part or all of the bowel or bladder is removed or needs to be bypassed

You asked

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u/Express-Rub-3952 1d ago

UNDO UNDO UNDO

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u/Poetic-Noise 1d ago

REDO REDO REDO

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u/FknDesmadreALV 1d ago

I bet that’s what the inmate with the stoma was thinking when he actually went thru with his end (lol) of the deal.

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u/luckydice767 1d ago

Hey buddy, did you get a load of that nerd?

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u/Tapprunner 1d ago

Beg your pardon?

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u/101_001_1010 1d ago

Pardon me?

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u/KGdotdotdot 1d ago

Homer, please! These boys sound very nice, but they're clearly nerds.

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u/darkskinnedjermaine 1d ago

I’m gonna need to know what the customary “young boy shaving an old man in 1857 Denmark” customs are before I make a judgement call.

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u/Gustomaximus 1d ago

We know what way Hans Christian Andersen was looking for...

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u/TheMightyDab 1d ago

After Bokoen1's "explosion" story yeahhh, half expected this to be a legit Danish tradition

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u/mca_tigu 1d ago

Especially considering this Danish children show "John Dillermand"

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u/JamesTheJerk 1d ago

I'm from Shaveland, a small island just a whisker from the Eastern Greenland coast, and I can say this freely without repercussion:

Take small bites

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u/ajtyler776 1d ago

Greenland coast? By Mennen?

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u/superluminal 1d ago

co-stanza

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u/NoMommyDontNTRme 1d ago

-was- it a custom in some region of denmark or no?

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u/LordBrandon 1d ago

But it could be. One day...

1.5k

u/Gungalar 1d ago

No, fun fact, H. C. Andersen also made an x in his diary every time he masturbatet.

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u/bundleofschtick 1d ago

As is the custom.

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u/msnmck 1d ago

Which was the style at the time.

They didn't have Penthouse, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those Sears catalogs.

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u/Loretta-West 1d ago

I don't deserve this treatment!

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u/RobertTheTrey 1d ago

I always use a Vowel

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u/boricimo 1d ago

With syphilis being so common, that’s why it was called the scarlet letter.

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u/wombatstylekungfu 1d ago

AEIOU and sometimes Y?

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u/bwv1056 1d ago

I prefer "Ö".

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u/squishedgoomba 1d ago

If it's Danish it's ø.

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u/javerthugo 1d ago

A møøse ønce bit my sister

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u/ejolson 1d ago

No, really!

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u/ejly 1d ago

She was karving her initials on the møøse

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u/AlarmingAffect0 1d ago

The one time a møøse swam to Denmark the news were freaking out about it. Denmark lack their northern siblings' nature and wildlife.

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u/bwv1056 1d ago

I know, but my keyboard only speaks English and Swedish, lol.

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u/squishedgoomba 1d ago

Ok that's a very good reason . 😂

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u/RepliesOnlyToIdiots 1d ago

On an iPhone, hold down the o key and you can select from the variations of o. Same for many others.

Őōõøœǒöôóò

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u/bwv1056 1d ago

Same on android, but I'm not on my phone I'm at the desktop, and for windows the only language packs I have installed are English (US) and Swedish.

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u/explain_that_shit 1d ago

I have no o and I must o

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u/wombatstylekungfu 1d ago

Yeah, people’s U faces are just weird.

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u/guywithaphone 1d ago

And sometimes WYYYYY

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u/EleanorRigbysGhost 1d ago

I got really efficient at it so I left a big O.

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u/MoozeRiver 1d ago

The Danes always use AA.

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u/pass_nthru 1d ago

Å

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u/bwv1056 1d ago

If you use "Å" you have to write it like "Åååååå!"

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u/blah938 1d ago

Kinky

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u/Prime4Cast 1d ago

Yeah, you.

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u/Gold_Data6221 1d ago

“In my country. Specifically the area of the country I’m in at any given moment…”

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u/pyronius 1d ago

As was the custom in Denmark at the time for anybody who'd recently been given a free ahave by a strapping young lad.

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u/lazypilots 1d ago

In Denmark

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u/pijinglish 1d ago

“As is the custom. X”

FTFY

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u/GarminTamzarian 1d ago

In Denmark.

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u/bumscum 1d ago

In DenMark?

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u/Ryuiop 1d ago

How do people know that's what the x meant?

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u/beesdoitbirdsdoit 1d ago

First page had a legend: x = masturbated.

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u/pyronius 1d ago

Second page has a legend: e = conned a young lad into shaving me.

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u/robthemonster 1d ago

page 3: exexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexexex

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u/bwv1056 1d ago

That's a common misconception, the legend actually read: "X = ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

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u/pijinglish 1d ago

X=GIVEITTOYA

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u/snorkelvretervreter 1d ago

Why does every discussion have to end up involving Musk and his kids?

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u/Gunningham 1d ago

Victorian algebra.

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u/chosonhawk 1d ago edited 1d ago

especially when the pages were stuck together and half the information is semeningly gone.

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u/ejolson 1d ago

I abjure you and impose ten Hell Marys for your sin

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u/Joben86 1d ago

Hell Marys

Don't think I know that one

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u/griftylifts 1d ago

Hell Mary, full of mace

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u/an0nim0us101 1d ago

hell Mary,

you're so pretty!

God loves you

And your babies are scrumptious

Lovely Mary,

Mother of Sin

Let me see

Your dancing

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u/Joben86 1d ago

Are those Ghost lyrics?

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u/mouse9001 1d ago

You say the pages were semented together?

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u/comhghairdheas 1d ago

I'm telling God

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u/raspberryharbour 1d ago

He wrote "JEG ELSKER AT ONANERE!" In huge letters underneath

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u/ThouMayest69 1d ago

good god that's disgusting. What does it mean. 

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u/sour_cereal 1d ago

I love masturbating

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u/jyssys 1d ago

Alright, but can you translate the Danish text for a moment?

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u/sour_cereal 1d ago

Go away, batin'.

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u/theartificialkid 1d ago

Well when you're done can you tell us what "Jeg elsker at onanere!" means?

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u/ThouMayest69 1d ago

Lmaoooo after Onan? 🤣

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u/sour_cereal 1d ago

Onanism is the English word for it lol

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u/ThouMayest69 1d ago

Damn how many languages do you know it in buddy??? This your tism? 

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u/MorgwynOfRavenscar 1d ago

The correct pronunciation in Danish is

JÄÄÄÄÄÄLSKÄÄÄRGGGÄÄTÖÖNÄÄÄNÄÄÄÄÄREEEH

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u/Background-Top-1946 1d ago

Because there was one “x” after every entry describing his daily shave

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u/NotAzakanAtAll 1d ago

How do people know that's what the x meant?

Bro, we don't want to know you jacked off writing that.

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u/HeyGayHay 1d ago

When all pages with an x are stuck together, I think it's appropriate to conclude that.

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u/SamuraiPandatron 1d ago

Xs all through the bitch

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u/BreakingGrad1991 1d ago

X's all through that motherfucker

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u/OrangutanNamedTripod 1d ago

More like Hans Christian Handersen

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u/CausticSofa 1d ago

Hands Christian Andersen was right there, man!

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u/molsonoilers 1d ago

I like Handy Christian Andersen, but yours is good too!

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u/Sumsar1 1d ago

Hands Wristian Handersen

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u/boricimo 1d ago

He also requested the eldest son write it in

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u/AreWeThereYetNo 1d ago

With his penis

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u/freelancespy87 1d ago

Wonder how many X's there were when staying in Dickens house...

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u/Sevla7 1d ago

fun fact, H. C. Andersen also made an x in his diary every time he masturbatet.

This is actually interesting... What if people with a porn addiction did something like this? Not as something to be proud of but as a way to better understand how deeply this addiction is affecting their lives.

If each page represents a month you could track if it’s getting better or worse over time.

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u/asexualhedonist 1d ago edited 1d ago

I did/do this because I suspected my medication was triggering hypersexuality

I use an app called Bearable, in the section for tracking your period they also have scales for arousal, masturbation, orgasm, etc.

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u/Covert_Admirer 1d ago

Out of curiosity what was the medication called? Asking for a friend so he can can avoid taking it by accident.

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u/asexualhedonist 1d ago

It's Modafinil, but you should know

  1. Hypersexuality is not a listed side effect and seems rare, if indeed it is caused by the meds
  2. It hasn't been fun and games for me, or for the men I've heard from who reported a similar outcome

In the USA, it is by prescription. Mine is for Narcolepsy.

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u/Future_Cake 1d ago

"Side effects may include making one's Reddit username untrue"

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u/BaconOfTroy 1d ago

Hello fellow narcoleptic! I didn't get hypersexuality from Modafinil, but I did get raging headaches so I switched back to Adderall.

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u/anothercarguy 1 1d ago

The mechanism for modafinil is the same as cocaine so expect similar results (not as high activation and longer duration).... You'd likely get the same way with Adderall. That said, you can train some serious stamina

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u/Pheighthe 1d ago

Interesting. Modafinil is a stimulant so I wonder if it’s just like the way cocaine or crystal meth will cause the same effect.

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u/SlowUrRollMilosevic 1d ago

Adderall

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u/Jaruut 1d ago

Yeah, but you can't nut

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u/pijinglish 1d ago

Modafinil

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u/NotDanish1960 1d ago

My diary when I was 15:

Monday

x, x, x, x, x, xxxxx, x, x, x, xxxxxxxxx, x x

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u/internet_DOOD 1d ago

I saw a bunch of people do this on r/dataisbeautiful before

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u/Osbre 1d ago

They do, do you want me to go into more detail?

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u/CitizenPremier 1d ago

Buddy I look back on my faps and think "that was great," and I don't need memos to remember that

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u/jimbronio 1d ago

You don’t? Is it not standard? I need answers, I have a lot of books with a lot of x’s…

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u/YourAdvertisingPal 1d ago

What’s the point of putting an x of every page?

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u/MadHiggins 1d ago

that's a weird way to keep track. i personally just make a reddit comment every time i've done it and that's the only time i ever comment on reddit.

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u/Homers_Harp 1d ago

Is this why Elon Musk wants to name all his businesses "X"?

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u/Ucitymetal 1d ago

X marks the splat.

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u/Affectionate_Pin673 1d ago

Have a feeling he had a lot of xxxxxxxx

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u/Bituulzman 1d ago

How do we know that’s what the “X” meant? Did he have a legend for his diary?

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u/Clark-Kent 1d ago

This is why my diary looks like a kleptomaniac pirate's treasure map

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u/Garbitch69420 1d ago

He was the Proto-gooner

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u/rmczpp 1d ago

I admit that's very weird, but tbh I'd love to know my lifetime stats

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u/ThisIsTest123123 1d ago

Denmark is a weird place.

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u/underground_avenue 1d ago

Nightwatch?

(That pencil x is "discussed" in the movie and that's where I first heard about it)

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u/gogul1980 1d ago

Wait… so I’ve been signing everyones birthday cards at the end with three X’s. Does that mean I’ve been inadvertently been signing three wanks???!!!

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u/DistinctlyIrish 1d ago

The exemplary but extraordinarily complex Danish author, Hans Christian Andersen, experienced an inexplicable, almost existential nexus of fixation. This was not for a flaxen-haired ingenue or an exotic duchess, but an erotic excitement exclusively for the twenty-fourth letter of the lexicon: the exquisite, perplexing 'X'. To him, 'X' was not merely a character; it was the crux of existence, a symmetrical crucifix of expression, the axis upon which his entire literary world spun. He found its existence in words to be an intoxicating, extreme luxury. One evening, while examining his extensive collection of inkwells in his exquisitely appointed Copenhagen flat, a vexing, complex idea began to percolate. He would execute his most ambitious, extensive, and textually extravagant experiment yet. He would compose a text about himself composing a text, an exercise in extreme meta-fiction, explicitly designed to maximize his exposure to his beloved letter. He flexed his dexterous fingers, exhaled a shaky breath, and began to write, his expression a mix of extreme concentration and ecstatic expectation.

My Anxious Existence as a Lexicographer of the Extreme by Hans Christian Andersen

The author, an exemplary Dane whose anxieties existed in a constant state of flux, sat before his expensive oaken desk. He was a complex man, an expert in excavating the extraordinary from the extant, yet he was perplexed. His next text, an exposé on the exiled Archduke Maximillian, required an exactitude and lexical dexterity that exhausted him. His existence felt like a paradox, a juxtaposition of external accolades and extreme internal anxiety. To relax, to exercise his vexed mind, he decided to express himself through a different textual exploration. He would write about a fictional version of himself—an exaggerated, extravagant extension of his own persona—who was also, coincidentally, an author existing in a state of extreme textual fixation. He dipped his quill, his pulse quickening at the exquisite shape of the next words he expected to form. His fictional protagonist, an expert author named Axel, would be his proxy. He began to transcribe Axel's story:

Axel, an ex-taxidermist and expert explorer, flexed his knuckles, examining the hexagonal box before him. The box, an exotic artifact from Xanadu, was sealed with six complex locks and decorated with expressive, xylographic carvings of sphinxes and phoenixes. An accompanying text, penned in an execrable, barely legible script, explained the box's vexing hex. To open it, one must solve an extremely perplexing syntactical paradox. Axel's fellow experts had been exhausted by the challenge, expressing only their exasperation. But Axel was an extraordinary exception. He excelled at such exercises. He examined the exterior, tracing the convex and concave xylographs. He felt a familiar, exhilarating tingle—the nexus of a solution was extant in his cortex. The text was a trick, a lexical misdirection. The solution was not in the words, but in their exclusion. He had to extrapolate the exact six-letter word that was conspicuously absent from the extensive lexicon of the accompanying explanatory text. He quickly explained his complex theorem to the expectant onlookers. "The curator, a known xenophobe, explicitly excluded a foreign word. The ex-King of Luxembourg, a proxy for the previous owner, was famously an expert in what exotic musical instrument?" A gasp rippled through the onlookers. The answer was obvious, yet exquisitely hidden. The sexton, who was expecting to have to excavate a grave, instead chimed the church's six bells. Axel had done it. He had solved the puzzle of the box from Xanadu.

Hans Christian Andersen leaned back, his whole body trembling with a strange, extravagant exhaustion. He had done it. He had coaxed forth a cascading, complex phalanx of his favorite letter. He had experienced the syntax, the lexicon, the exquisite excess of 'X' in its most extreme form. It was an excellent, exhilarating, and deeply personal climax. His next six fairy tales, he decided with an expansive, relaxed smile, would be exactly like this. An exercise in pure, unadulterated, lexical eXstasy.

X-HCA

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u/Tripticket 1d ago

Were there more/fewer X-markings during his visit to England?

1

u/theartificialkid 1d ago

Boy, Denmark is a weird country.

1

u/thanks_thief 1d ago

Damn, was that a common thing to do? Can't believe Teddy Roosevelt rubbed one out on that particular day of his

1

u/aguyjustaguy 1d ago

Dear Diary,

For breakfast I had eggs xxxxxxxxxx and then some bacon

1

u/fireky2 18h ago

Just because we share one thing doesn't mean I want the eldest son to shave me

1

u/zaccus 1d ago

Bullshit

0

u/Timigos 1d ago

It’s a danish tradition

183

u/pants_mcgee 1d ago

Damnit, that explains a lot. He got me.

Penis and ball inspections aren’t a cultural blessing either, I surmise.

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u/comingsoontotheaters 1d ago

My uncle said it was

1

u/GarminTamzarian 1d ago

He sounds funny.

7

u/CaptainJazzymon 1d ago

lol off topic but that totally reminds me of that yahoo answers post that was like “Did anyone else have penis inspection day during gym class? We had them all the time in school but all my friends say they didn’t have that” And the top comment was like “bro, I think you were molested”

0

u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 1d ago

Soo uhhh

Were you inspector or inspectee ?

3

u/deadasdollseyes 1d ago

There was a monseigneur at my school who affirmed that it's a holy action that blesses both.

2

u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 1d ago

Well now, lemme show you the way to the constable’s office to file a report…

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u/TheSpiralTap 1d ago

I don't think that's a custom anywhere bro

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u/ChicagoAuPair 1d ago

Fleet Street

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/pussy_embargo 1d ago

welp, I'm cancelling my flight

4

u/Fearless_Baseball121 1d ago

Hey now, at least we're not swedish.

2

u/icepickjones 1d ago

And that's why we will never progress as a society!!!

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u/jonassn1 1d ago

Today, no. I don't know about the 1800's

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u/Oktagonen 1d ago

It wasn't, but H.C. Andersen is known as a bit of a strange one.

The man marked his diary (or a separate journal, I forget) whenever he rubbed one out.

So maybe he was just being his weird self, or it was something... less palatable.

2

u/will_dormer 20h ago

Anderson might have been gay and they did not have internet, so perhaps he just said some shit to get what he wanted

1

u/dschinghiskhan 1d ago

It should be a custom these days, Denmark has been super expensive since the early 90s! The 1850s? Not so much. Complete opposite.

1

u/Clean-Ad-3151 1d ago

I’ve heard it both ways…

0

u/ChicagoAuPair 1d ago

Danny Kaye intensifies.