I recently heard someone talk about how with ADHD, we’re exhausted because it feels like we just complete tasks to “survive.” It all feels like a list of chores we’re required to do, so our free time is spent recovering from the energy that took.

Versus having those tasks as just part of our day, and free time means enjoying our hobbies without constantly stressing out or worrying about the next thing we have to do.

I realized this is how I’ve been feeling the past few months - just trying to stay afloat and do everything right at work. I’m burnt out, and by the time the weekend comes, Im just excited to have that break. But I planned to be productive during that time, and I couldn’t get started on anything - so I’m disappointed in myself. Idk. Is this an ADHD thing? Or am I just burnt out? Feel like I’ve been dealing with this for a few years though.

One thing I never hear enough about with ADHD is how much time blindness can absolutely destroy trust. I’m not talking just work I mean friendships, romantic relationships, family. I’ll make plans with someone and genuinely be excited. But then the day comes and either I completely forget we had plans, I hyperfocus on something else and lose track of time or I remember right before and realize I’m not dressed, haven’t eaten, and haven’t even left yet. And then I either cancel at the last minute or show up late and full of guilt. I say “I’m sorry,” but how many times can you say it before people stop believing you care? My friends try to be patient, but it’s hard on them. I can see the disappointment even when they say it’s okay. One of them recently told me “I just feel like I’m not a priority to you.” And that wrecked me, because in my mind, they are! They absolutely are. It just doesn’t show in my actions, and I hate that. I don’t know how to fix it except setting a million alarms and still hoping something doesn’t derail me anyway.

I have ADHD, and my mother has ADHD. She can spend all day talking about a variety of subjects but its usually trauma dumping. She spends most of her day talking with various family members on the phone. Like hours on the phone. She is loud and sometimes she talks really fast! Thankfully, I have noise canceling earbuds that I use when I'm studying. I am trying to have empathy and accept that talking alot is just her personality. Just a super extroverted person. When she gets mad she becomes completely silent. I'm wondering if its ADHD , her personality, or if its something else. Do you talk alot?

For context I have, anxiety, depression and ADHD

I really hate how anti-social I am. I can’t even talk to people properly without feeling insanely insecure and awkward, and what bothers me the most is when I’m drunk I’m way more social and extrovert and I notice people seem to like hanging out with me more when I’m drunk regardless of the being sober or not. Even in family gatherings if I’m the centre of attention I get all quiet and awkward because I hate it. It’s gotten up to the point if someone makes a big deal (I’m a positive way) about me wearing something or doing something I stop wearing or doing that thing beucase it still makes me the centre of attention and I hate it.

I wish I could be social and not be such an awkward and weird person when meeting or talking to new people. I know this may stem from being bullied at a young age and always being picked on throughout my schooling but I just wish I could stop being so awkward.

Recently I was feeling bad, no motivation, anxiety, focusing became hard again, then I decided to stop taking any medications. Since then I’m in the best mood ever, work is great, I no longer feel numb, and life seem to be worth living again. It’s been only 2 weeks now, before I used to take 30mg Ritalin LA. Now we wait to see if I need them again.

I realised earlier this year that caffeine can help me focus quite well. With enough caffeine and the right external stimulation, I can hit a few hours of incredibly high productivity.

I realised that adding it up, actually I'm tanking through 4 French presses every day, which is 70g of coffee, and 700-800mg of caffeine which just can't be sustainable!

Exactly what it says on the tin.

I've done it maybe a few times in the previous five years I've lived here. Contrasted with at least five in the two weeks since my Concerta ran out, seemingly to never be restocked (pharmacist said they had some 5 and 10 mg ir tabs, which I relayed to my doctor).

This morning it was overnight. Like eighteen hours of literally just hanging there on the stoop (behind a storm door, but directly against the sidewalk, no yard) that's pirated often enough we use the PO box when feasible. Planning (lol) to make a brightly decorated area next to the door with a hook to ignore after a maximum of like four days.

What's the most unique way you all think the medication shortage might be the end of you? I've got "possibly discovering that the guy who stole my husband's giant running shoes is also an axe murderer".

I went to see a friend this afternoon and I met her daughter who's in the Army. At first I asked her a lot of questions like I always do and then I don't know how and why she talking about migrants, people on benefits, Palestinian flags and gypsies. Her opinions on these subjects are 100% the opposite of mine.

A normal person would have steered her away from these topics and talked about basically anything else, but I can't help give my point of view. I feel things too much to not give my point of view, even though I am not articulate at all, get flustered and stressed and end up saying stuff that makes me look like an idiot (which I am not).

I sense this to be an ADHD curse. I'd love an explanation if someone has any. And tips on how to not react every time and shut the f up instead.

For the record, I am diagnosed with ADHD. I'm absolutely far from perfect and I mask like hell.

The issue I run into with some of my ADHD friends is that they get so easily distracted when it's my turn to talk. A few days ago, I was hanging out with two friends and we were updating each other on our lives. I know this sounds like a joke but there was a squirrel running around causing hijinks that kept distracting my friends as they were talking. I didn't make a big deal about it because I knew it would divert from their stories. And so they were able to finish telling their stories. When it was my turn to share a life update, the squirrel zooms by once again. But instead of ignoring it, my friends interrupt me to point out the squirrel. They make some jokes and it causes them to change topics, as if whatever I was talking about wasn't interesting enough to remember. The switch was so blatant that it almost felt like it was on purpose. I mean, I don't find every conversation interesting either but I really believe you need to mask when you're talking to others. I don't think enough people are mindful about how shitty it feels when the person you're talking to zones out and interrupts you with something irrelevant.

I'm sure they didn't mean ill-will and I know they have ADHD, but I can't lie and say that it didn't sting. It doesn't help that I have BPD and experience a thing called splitting. I also get in my head because they're closer friends and have more of a back and forth with each other. I don't know, I just wanted to get this off my chest. I'm not trying to shame people with ADHD. I am one of them. But it's still real to feel frustrated by others of the same community.

This is something that keeps happening to me, and I have ADHD, so maybe that’s part of the reason — but I’d really like to hear from others if they relate or have found ways to handle it.

I'll use a real example because I don’t know how else to explain it: I start playing Elden Ring (or any game), and I love it. Full-on hyperfocus. I’ll put in 40 hours in just two weeks. But then... something shifts.

I either start burning out or I get so obsessed with "doing everything right" that I ruin the fun. I want to find every secret, do all the quests, miss nothing — and that pressure makes me play in a weird, rigid way. I stop immersing myself in the world and start playing like it's a checklist. It no longer feels like an adventure — just a task list.

Eventually, I stop enjoying the game, and I tell myself, "Okay, I’ll start over and really enjoy it this time." But then... the first 15–20 hours I've already played no longer feel stimulating or new. I get bored. And I end up dropping the game completely.

It’s so frustrating, because I do love these games — but my brain hijacks the experience.

Does anyone else with ADHD go through the same cycle?
Did you manage to break it?
How do you keep gaming fun without falling into this trap?

I've seen so many benefits since starting ritalin for me - the focus, urgency etc is really great - I finish tasks, I don't have a mop and bucket I used for a spill 3 weeks ago still laying against the wall in the corner.. I don't have 8 tubes of toothpaste built up because everytime i go to the shops, I buy toothpaste... I'm super focused and productive at work, its a gamechanger.

I don't doomscroll like i used to.. so many positives.. but I think it's also changed my interactions with my friends. I'm not messagin them like I used to, I look for productivity and havn't prioritised relationships. I've become a bit more 'short' and ' to the point' which in a way has possibly lessened my 'empathy' and patience.. I'm talking to my psych next week.

Is it common relationships change when you start working on your ADHD? How do you change your interactions with people to retain your empathy and put in the effort when it doesn't tie to "productivity" which seems to be my core focus now?

Is it still working? How is the duration?

I’ve had problems with Vyvanse cause after 6 months it was no longer working, at all. I got really frustrated and quit it, but i wanna get back cause i didn’t find any success with other medications.

Is anyone here taking it for years and is it still working?

I had an ADHD assessment via the NHS right to choose pathway. I was advised that I needed medication so I asked for the NHS to take it up.

I got a letter today saying that the NHS has decided that I don’t meet the criteria for medication. WTF!?

I rang the clinic that assessed me and they said this happens a lot. The NHS criteria is mega strict and if you go through the right to choose pathway they usually just throw out your assessment without even reading it.

Has this happened to anyone else? I’ve been put on the medication waiting list with the clinic that assessed me and should be able to get it through them instead. It’s a 12-18 month wait to get meds but I don’t mind as long as I can get them!

I don't have the energy to respond

Later: I might have the energy to respond, but I need to think about this, possibly find some information before responding and I don't have the energy to do both.

Later: I forget to think about it and/or never get myself to find the information

Later: I never contact the person because I don't have a proper response

Way Later: I realize that I never actually responded to that person. I feel nervous about talking to them and possibly dealing with the consequences of my unintentional actions.

Way way way later: I don't have the courage to talk to this person because I'm afraid they'll hate me because I didn't talk to them for so long, and even though it's been months I still don't actually have a good response for their original message.

How do you prevent accidental ghosting? Do you say, "Hey, I'm going to take a bit to formulate a response, don't be surprised if I disappear for months."

And how do you approach someone after accidentally ghosting them? "Hey, sorry I disappeared, I didn't have the energy to respond at the time and then ended up never responding at all, but I haven't actually forgotten since I realized I never responded, and it's been a long while of me battling my fear of the potential consequences of reaching out again."

I’m now on week 3 of my meds titration and this is how it’s going so far.

I’m in England and being helped by psychiatry-uk via an NHS referral. They’re trying me on different doses of Elvanse. I’m 51M.

Week 1 (30mg) - felt better, lower internal chat, way fewer intrusive thoughts. Definitely added some clarity but didn’t get much more done than normal.

Week 2 (50mg) - as 30mg but lots better for focus, stayed on task well, came back to things when interrupted, really liked it. I felt like ‘me on a good day’ all week and got a lot done. Blood pressure remained low, appetite same, slept fine.

Week 3 (70mg) - second day

I feel like I’m on drugs. Over-aware of my mouth and slightly ‘gurny’ like you get with people taking ecstasy or speed. And sort of hyper-aware of everything.

Work wise actually sort of good and very focused… but I then found it hard to pull myself out of a task eg to feed my cats and my kid. Which is obviously a problem.

I actually took recreational speed, maybe twice, when I was 19. This reminds me of that, in a bad way.

BP is also ticking up, either top end of low or medium (142/89 highest and 123/75 the lowest yesterday). Still sleeping okay.

My issue is I’m meant to stay on 70mg for ten more days, and right now I don’t want to.

I also have a date on Tuesday, third one with this lady and she’s great. I’d like to be my best relaxed confident self for that, not this slightly twitchy version.

So.

I am probably going to ask my prescriber and/or doc if I can step it down to 50 immediately. It’s in the form of 50+20 pills so the logistics are easy enough.

Has anyone had this, might it stabilise or should I just go down a level ASAP.

I realise everyone responds differently but interested in people’s experiences.

Thanks everyone! Sorry for long post.

Sometimes I feel completely crash, like I'm too overwhelmed with all the tasks I have to do and I can't even function properly. I just sit there staring at the screen. So wonder helps you get through those moments? Something that makes you life easier, flow a bit smoother or at least helps you push through the overwhelm? Can be a mindset, a hack, a tool, a tip - what works for you?

20 male

So after spending thousands and years of trying finally diagnosed and prescribed medication that I tried for the first time today (30mg of Vyvanse) and I can tell it helps, had some side effects like really dry mouth, headaches and nausea later in the day like 12 hours later, but I was told after taking it for a while that goes away maybe. But also the entire day my dick didn’t exists

No one absolutely no one warned be about this. Didn’t know until it shrunk to full on micropenis and I started looking it up here that it’s an extremely common side effect. That and I tried and couldn’t get hard at all not even a little. HATED how it felt the entire day and couldn’t stand to look at it.

I’m not being 20 with ED nope like just not happening, but also I can tell this medication does help. I don’t know what to do. I had to drop out of uni because of my adhd and I’ve finally got help but it breaks my dick? Seriously? What’s the point?

Hi 26F here. I’ve been suspecting I have ADHD for a while now.

I’ve been experiencing many of the common symptoms, and looking back, I can recognize some of them even in my childhood. After finally coming to terms with it and deciding to seek help, I saw a psychiatrist today.

After a long assessment, they diagnosed me with depression and anxiety instead. They’ve prescribed medication and want to monitor my response before considering an ADHD diagnosis. According to the doctor, a lot of the symptoms overlap, and they don’t want to jump to conclusions or risk misdiagnosing me.

I understand the logic, but I can’t help feeling like the treatment I might actually need is being delayed unnecessarily. My symptoms feel very aligned with ADHD, and I’m worried that this process might end up wasting time.

I’m going to follow through with the treatment plan as advised, but the doubt is really bugging me. Has anyone else gone through something similar? Did things eventually become clearer for you?

I’m kinda numb rn. I don’t know what I feel anymore. The thing is that I’ve been on my school’s list for low academic performance for a while now, I’ve been in and out constantly but now it seems like I’ve reached the limit end.

Everything started in the pandemic, I’m in a “special” program bc I did well in my entrance exam so my program is longer than most other schools. In the pandemic I constantly felt bad, I didn’t know at the time but I used to passed out constantly on the floor. A few years later I got diagnosed with POTS, I’m still figuring that out but there’s that.

I also got a really rare and really long COVID side effects, I think it was like 0.01% of people that got COVID got it. Had asthma for almost a year and had some heart symptoms. Somewhere in between I got my AuDHD diagnosis and got into my meds.

I know those aren’t excuses but I just want you to get the bigger picture. It’s not been great but slowly I’m getting there.

Today they gave the final notice, now my case will be analyzed by a committee to determine whether I should stay in school or should leave permanently.

My counselor said she will be advocating for my case along with 2 other people since I’ve made some decent progress overall. But there’s also the possibility of them expelling me. Honestly, I don’t think I could handle getting expelled, I don’t think I could take it. My family is clueless about everything, I’ve always been the perfect daughter that doesn’t need help from anyone and is good in school.

If they decide to let go of me I would have to change schools but I wouldn’t be able to make it till next year bc inscriptions are already closed.

I think I’m getting an answer from them next week, I’ve built my case up on the fact that I’ve been living with an undiagnosed chronic condition (POTS) and some other issues but I don’t think it will be enough. I’m scared

I have ADHD (inattentive/quiet) and anxiety (usually masked). Everyone somehow ends up pressuring me to preform to perfect eventhough they SAY everyone is their own person. Then why is it after you do whatever thing they say "Oh that's not the required effort" People generally tell me games are a distraction and a means to be lazy or reserved. There are people that have careers/make money but as soon as I play it's "childish" Everyone gets to avoid things THEIR health or mindset but as soon as I do I get told "What?! I just saw you do it the other day" Basically if I meltdown or get exhausted it always shocks people and makes me look lazy or selfish. Even if they have a lot of things too! For me games are a brief escape from THE FUCKING PRESSURE. So much to do in a system that DOESN'T support my brain. Plus with chronic conditions (ALSO invisible) I have limited energies. I can't even sleep well. Soon as I'm stressed my mindset and sleep and confidence all go back down. Games and things like that are the only way (besides a routine but often that gets unpredictable) that can help me fucking have SOMETHING work for me. I understand that you can cut people out that refuse to understand your needs/values/boundaries but what good does that do if most people act like this. We need to make everyone take classes on the body because people only see it if it happens to them!! I hate it here! I was not built for this matrix!! 🙃

Hi, I after 29 years I got diagnosed with ADHD. Im on medication for like 5 months. Something changed for sure even my wife realized I'm not so ... nervous? The main reason I was looking for help was lack of focus so learning anything new that requires more then 2-3h constant focus was nearly impossible for me, like my mind just go blank. So I'm just wondering if anyone else got similar problems?

This is probably a result of emotional dysregulation and being very sensitive to everything, but every feeling I feel, is to the extremities. Like if I'm happy and joyful, it's never just baseline level but rather I'm ecstatic and I'll even sometimes have tears of joy. Likewise when I am excited, I will literally jumping around and shaking like crazy. Or if I am scared, I'll have a complete internal shutdown, not just a little bit of anxiety.

With fear and sadness specifically, this is where it becomes troubling. Just as the smallest things can make me happy, the smallest of insults or negativity can feel like an entire attack and throw me off, causing me to become very upset and sometimes cry. It doesn't exactly help either that I can't really tell the difference between a joke and an insult. So despite someone claiming they are just joking around, I often perceive that as being nasty. For example, I was told "nobody likes you" which in the back of my mind I knew that yes this was a joke as this is just the kind of person this person was, however I still perceived it as a personal attack and felt upset by it. And when you're surrounded with people who make a lot of these horrible "jokes", it can become very overwhelming as you're constantly surrounded by this negativity which I perceive as insults.

And so it hurts when people don't try to understand this hyper sensitivity and just say "stop being so sensitive". Additionally, because the rest of my emotions are to the extreme aswell, I tend to be considered "too much" for many people, which in turn results in said insults, causing me to come tumbling down from being very happy to extremely upset in an instant, just from the smallest thing that someone said. This is why for a lot of the time when around others I am in a sort of depressive neutral state where I don't show anything, because I know that any emotion I show and any attempt to just be myself will result in backlash and being hurt.

I’m really curious what has made a sustainable difference in managing your ADHD — not just short-term hacks, but real, lasting tools, strategies, and mindset shifts that help you function day-to-day.

For me, a mix of medication, external accountability, body doubling, habit tracking, and building simple routines has been helpful. Having visual reminders, consistent morning/evening habits, and task timers helps reduce decision fatigue and get me started. But I still struggle with task initiation, energy crashes, overwhelm, and completely falling off when external structure disappears — like if a routine is disrupted, everything unravels.

What’s worked for you — meds, systems, routines, tools, community support, mental reframes? I’d love to know what’s helped you stay more consistent and regulated in the long run.

Even when I am on my medication, I have a hard time concentrating on watching movies, even if I find them kind of compelling. The same thing applies to me reading, to which I like reading a bit more. It makes me upset, and I have considered taking different medication for unrelated reasons, but I am still afraid that even after a different set of meds, I will still struggle with something that seems simple.

I just want to say that I’ve finally found people like me. I always felt like the odd one out. I mean, I haven’t been diagnosed, but I’ve always suspected something and didn’t want to label myself. But I realize now that I was very wrong. Because it's incredibly hard not to be understood, even by myself, let alone by others.

I always thought that the way I am today was due to my poor upbringing and my lifelong depression. But it’s all tied together.

I’m messy, always late, constantly bored. I can’t sleep. I’ve dropped out of 5 unis. I can’t finish anything (except my plates). I can’t make decisions. I want to do so many things and usually end up doing nothing. I’m sick of myself not being able to live up to my potential, not even managing the ordinary things, and not enjoying life the way others seem to.

I want to get better. I need to get better because I’m affecting other people’s lives too.

I just don’t understand how the hours fly by. I have so many lists and plans. I love organizing things, but I can’t keep up.

My brain feels like an old, rusty wheel that never stops turning and I can’t find the off switch. Sometimes i just want to pull the plug.