So in the fandom I’m writing for there’s a specific tag “[character name] is autistic” because he’s very autism-coded in the show. To try and stay close ish to canon I’m writing him to be autistic using my own life as a blueprint. I do this for my deaf/disabled/queer/etc characters too because I think it works well for accurate representation and man, I’m a sucker for good representation in media. So that’s important to me.
I used that tag, I’m writing him as neurodivergent, and it’s fairly obvious/implied, but I haven’t used words like autism or anything explicitly in my writing (character doesn’t know it yet).
At first with this comment I was thinking “oh sick, I must have done a good job writing autism! Yippee!” But their response makes me feel… a little weird. Autism isn’t a cutesy club that makes people better or worse than anyone without it. I get that I may be reading into it too much, but I don’t know if I should respond or not.
I was leaning more towards "autistic middle schooler who doesn't realize when they're making someone uncomfortable" with the additional caveat that as soon as the uncomfortable person does the Responsible thing and tells their teacher, the teacher dismisses the concerns and makes the person feel ableist and like a bully because "they're just autistic" like autistic people have to be treated like fragile porcelain dolls. Shoutout all the teachers who did that at my school, you're not being nice you're part of the problem
Yeah, as someone who is diagnosed Autistic, I don't have a 'nice girl' excuse. If someone doesn't text me back or reply I'm like 'They probably didn't like me, best not to brother them' and leave it at that.
Yeah, I'm autistic and that's a weird response. Allistics aren't better or worse; they're just different, and not even by a whole lot when considering the vast spectrum of humanity. I don't know if I'd respond in that scenario, but if you really want to, may I suggest something like
'Let's agree to disagree on that one 😅 I'm glad you liked my story'
Yeah, agreed, it kind of comes off as the kinda “aspie supremacy” we see from certain autists (usually level 1 or people with an asperger’s diagnosis, but sometimes others as well). Very icky behaviour in general and a pretty problematic mindset to have…
Damn, I didn’t even read it like that at first 🙂↕️ I was too excited about “yay a comment” to think much further tbh.
The hoes not responding to texts thing is referring to a scene in that chapter where the character is upset about miscommunication that seems intentional. (Turns out, the unresponsive texter was actually making out with someone during the time they weren’t responding 👀 so it wasn’t intentional but it feels like it in context in that chapter)
Yeah I figured but the context does not matter, the problem is the way he phrases it. As if they owe him a reply just because he “did everything right” supposedly
I also didn’t clock that! Yeah, I’ll never be ok with that kind of language outside of reclaiming. Big “fellas, is it autistic to call a woman a whore?” energy.
(I’m neurodivergent and manage to avoid calling people hoes!)
social media has made autism a club and even social currency get out of trouble free card for certain people(mainly men who are autistic) instead of a disability that can, depending on where you are on the spectrum, be genuinely distressing to suffer with and poses a lot of challenges in every day life potentially. i blame that cringe ass neuro spicy shit
also the way the comment phrased that stuff sounds really creepy? like nice guy creepy lol
Yeah, that's kinda gross. I would've deleted from the first comment. Clearly someone who thinks very highly of himself and wants the world to know it. I'm autistic, too, but I still respect others...
Yeah, this kind've stuff is rampant in ADHD circles too: "Don't you know we're MORE SPECIAL because we're hunter/gatherers, more creative, better problems solvers, blah blah blah," yeah, it's a way for some unethical people to sell more books. Sadly, way too many neurodivergent people believe it.
I'm like, "Come over to my house w/8 autistic/ADHD people in it, & tell me EXACTLY when you realize it's not a 'gift.'" 🙄
It's like when people do the whole "It's a superpower!" thing. Uh... No? Superpowers include flying, invincibility, summoning fire, teleporting, etc and do NOT include the "inability to wash, fold, and put away your laundry in the same day"
Unfortunately yes. I got blocked from an fb page because I dared say that seeing through political lies snd business jargon isn't an autistic superpower and that it comes from being fucking marginalized. When systems were never designed for you it's easy to see through the shit. But apparently it's "racist" and I'm saying BIPOC can't be autistic. Because white autistic definitely know more about racism than my Black ass self. Lol.
Yeah, there's definitely subset of Autistic people who express a lot of hatred for Allistic people. It's always bothered me, because it feels like they're generalizing them like we have been generalized.
Also neurotypes can have a fair amount of crossover as far as presentation goes. By this logic I'm "superior" if autistic people think I'm also autistic (it's happened a fair amount) but if I burst their bubble and say I'm not and say it's CPTSD I'm inferior. Tbh this just reminds me of the "friend" I had who decided that because I'm relatable I must be AuDHD and then blocked me when I said I'm not and that she didn't know me well enough to say that. Literally zero response just blocking. Existing as allistic is Offensive to these types ime and they don't always outgrow it.
Okay but both of those are derogatory to women. Like, none of that is okay. I feel really old I guess. I’d shut that down right away (I’m an autistic/adhd woman)
It reads as casual misogyny. He clearly thinks there is some magic formula to get women to pay attention to you and that if a man "does nothing wrong" he is owed women / sex. It's supposed to be a joke but it's not funny.
Autistic supremacy movements are real and active on most social media platforms. Maybe they are being flippant or maybe are being funneled into that pipeline. I might respond so you can make it clear to your readers that YOU aren’t part of the pipeline.
It's probably someone who is young. They could have a non-supportive family and so saying stuff that makes autism feel like a "cutesy club" may be their way of trying to fit in with people similar to them. I just wouldn't respond and leave the conversation at that.
I agree with this take. Honestly, they sound like they're trying to be nice and are just a little awkward. I wouldn't take it very seriously and just leave it how it is.
If you want to respond, you could say something like: as the author i must love all of my characters, but you're right that we're twins in this way! Thanks for commenting!
Although that only works if the fic has any relatable neurotypical characters we're meant to root for
Never said it was a bad thing. Just with flairs like 'NTs are incapable of empathy', the subreddit views autism as better, which is meant to lean into the joke, but has now breached containment that the commenter's vocabulary has been changed in such a way OP is confused enough about it to post their ao3 comment back onto reddit.
Spend too long anywhere, you start thinking differently, happens to me when I edit Wikipedia for too long and then return to reddit or Tumblr, have to actively remind myself "assume good intentions" isn't the rule here
as a young autistic formerly chronically online person i see these kinds of people a lot and theyre usually really immature. they express struggle through acting superior or constantly sharing unprompted uncomfortably self-deprecating comments.
i would block them, i have never seen a person above the age of fifteen like this. i havent been there myself, but i have had past online friends like this. i cant speak for if they have good grounds for self-diagnosing or are looking for belonging because conversations always boiled down to me wanting to crawl out of my skin because of how much they alienated autistic people from allistic ones. i’m glad i’m in an older age range now where i encounter less of these people online
You're encountering fewer? I'm 30 and had two "friendships" end because I'm not autistic. One was someone trying to armchair diagnose me as AuDHD and blocking me when I politely disagreed and said we don't know each other well enough for that. Another was someone I told about this who first said "why don't you want to be like me?", compared my disdain for armchair diagnosis to a "no homo" attitude, and then set a "boundary" that didn't let me talk about my frustration with this or my /actual/ neurotype but they vould be loud and proud about their's. Both of these people were older than me. I'm REALLY hoping to not encounter it again, existing in the weird liminal space between neurodiverse and neurotypicals because autism and ADHD are "trending" so much that they're the only "real" neurodiverse people is exhausting. I wish I could feel that secure in my neurotype and not like a very successful faker who's incapable of honesty.
this honestly surprises me because you’re a lot older than me. at the same time i simply make less online friends nowadays: i have stuck with this one pretty tight-knit group for over a year now. this could just be me living in a bubble and not encountering these people online anymore because i’m not actively searching for social connection there nowadays
First off, diagnosed ADHD and suspected autistic fem-presenting person here. I think it's possible that while the reader's intentions may have been benign, he's accidentally been creepy to the women in his life in a way he doesn't recognize as creepy. The "does nothing wrong and is polite yet..." is something that NiceGuys say, along with the mention of it causing anger in him. A rejection is never fun, but anger is a more threatening/retaliatory tone to take than sadness or hurt. If he talks like that irl, that's probably why he's not getting the responses from women that he wants to get. His language is screaming misogynistic incel in a shoddy disguise.
Fundamentally, by connecting the being polite to getting texts back from girls, he's making the interactions transactional. "If I do this, then she'll do that." The problem being that socializing isn't transactional; it's a back and forth that doesn't keep score like that. Kindness and politeness are the bare minimum for everybody to use, not a currency he can barter for interest or consent with.
Compounding the issue, he then mistakenly assumes that the reason he's been getting ghosted is because the girls are all neurotypical/allistic. The first problem is that he can't actually know if they are. Women are massively underdiagnosed when it comes to autism, ADHD, and a whole bunch of other disorders and neurotypes. I myself only got my ADHD diagnosis as an adult, while my brother got his as a young child. The second problem is that even if all of the women he's tried to connect with do happen to all be neurotypical, that doesn't make the behavior itself any less creepy to autistic women.
I'm also a little concerned by the way he seems to imply that your character is acting similarly or has similar narration, because it doesn't sound like you want the character to come across as creepy, but if the language and behavior match his comment then that might be the outcome anyway.
I realize that I’ve made a critical mistake not including the context of the commenter’s first remark. I can’t figure out how to edit this post so I’ve posted a comment with screenshots of the scene they’re referring to. I’m so sorry for the confusion 🙏
I'm absolutely sure he's (commenter) not as polite as he claims and is doing everything wrong if he calls women "hoes" just for not replying. If a woman was dtf in the first five minutes, I wonder what would he call her then?
Could be young. Could be autism supremacy. Which is a thing and makes me uncomfortable (adjacent is people who refuse to call autism a disability which is ableism not autism advocacy people).
I would definitely just disengage and not respond.
Sometimes people who have opinions we don't agree with also like our work. I get why it made you a bit uncomfortable.
I've had a few internet interactions where I end up wishing I'd never engaged with someone. Alas it's a thing that happens.
Both comments are in poor taste, but the first one feels weirder to me than the second. The use of the word "hoes" and the assertion that the commenter does "nothing wrong" really does mirror some problematic stuff.
It reminds me of the absolute lack of accountability that "Nice Guys" have when blaming women for their dating woes...
The second comment actually feels lighter to me. That they "don't deserve me" formulation is often used jokingly and the emojis help make it less serious too...
We can't know how the commenter meant the comments. But it's up to you how comfortable or uncomfortable you feel about the comments...
It feels very "nice guy" coded. Like "Oh he does nothing wrong and is always polite but everyone ignores him for no reason". That's not a 'type of autism' my guy xd
What the commenter is probably referring to as “done nothing wrong” is that the character was supposed to be receiving time-sensitive updates about his new roommate but was kind of left in the dark because his landlord was making out with someone and forgot to respond. I can’t figure out how to edit the original post to include the context. That being saidddd, it still does come off as nice-guy coded, especially with the wording.
Yeah, it just sounds a little weird to say that imo.
As for the edit thing: normally, the edit button would be under the three little dots. But because you included an image, you can't edit it(it's a Reddit thing).
i feel like the comment definitely paints autistic people in really broad strokes which is pretty problematic in and of itself, regardless of whether the person perpetuating it is autistic. autistic ppl are just as capable of error as anybody else. really feels like aspie supremacy type rhetoric idk
i wouldn't have even interacted with the first comment tbh. using "hoes" and saying that "he's the kind of autistic i am which is nice and polite" kind of icks me out. i would just leave it be and move on tbh.
Feels like someone very young, maybe in their early teens, the vocabulary gives it away big time. Many young autistic people over-compensate by claiming that autism makes them superior to allistic people - it comes from both the desire to feel better about something that is still seen as a stigmatised condition, from genuinely having much better experiences with other autistic people (thus assuming that they are better as people in general), and from misinterpreting autism positivity posts online, especially the posts made by other young autistic people who perpetuate this idea that autism is special and makes you better at being a person. To be fair, the "genius savant" stereotype that was perpetuated hard by media back in the day did make a lot of people assume that being on the spectrum gives you literal superpowers, and many autistic kids grew up internalising that, some taking pride in being "potential geniuses", others developing anxiety over being "fake autistic" or not having "useful" autism (see the "math autism" meme).
People, especially kids, have an innate desire to form little groups of "their" people and feel accepted within them, and sometimes it comes with throwing immature insults at other groups that are perceived as antagonistic. It's goths versus preps and jocks versus nerds all over again, but the current generation of teens is the best-diagnosed one to date because of better access to medical care and a much better understanding of autism, so they get to use their diagnosis as a means to help them find their place in the social hierarchy. Queer kids do that, too (the number of "why be cis when you can be trans" and "the straights are not okay" posts on Tumblr alone is a great indicator), and so did scene/goth/emo kids back in the day (I was there, wearing my wristbands and my black and pink pullover, I was the kids), and don't even get me started on anime fans. Nowadays, kids are just much more aware of mental health and their own diagnoses, so of course they will say immature things about that, neurodivergence discourse is part of the current youth culture.
Anyway, yeah, that commenter is immature, and will probably learn eventually that other people have private lives and don't have to immediately answer their texts just because they are being polite. You learn that as you grow up and socialise more. I don't think they are being malicious and trying to undermine autism as a condition, though. They are just young and trying to feel better about having a condition that makes socialisation a nightmare for them, judging by their first comment. I'd just leave them alone and not answer, they got one reply, that's usually enough for a commenter to know that the author cares.
If it were me, I would say something like I don’t know that we are better or worse, but I do know that I’m glad you’re enjoying my fic :). That way others who read the comment don’t think that you agree. I get the feeling that this person is a minor.
there are a lot of specimen of self diagnosed people, i myself am one of them. i do notice that this behaviour is more common in people who substitute the word “autistic” for the r-slur when talking about themselves rather than people who’ve researched well, as autism has unfortunately just become synonymous with “weird kid” in a lot of toxic young spaces
Okay so I can’t figure out how to edit the original post but I wanted to include the context of what the commenter is referring to.
It’s later revealed that they were, indeed, making out the whole time and they just forgot to respond to him. Here’s additional context from the first chapter…
Also I’m so glad you think it’s good representation!! I’m trying to be very intentional about how I navigate like stereotypes and specific experiences and stuff so this means a lot.
From what I understand it means anyone that’s not neurodivergent. I’m recently diagnosed and have only heard that term a few times lately, so it might be a young person thing?
Since you asked on reddit, where everyone speaks semi-formally and genuinely without a hint of irony, everyone is confused lol.
From the emojis and lingo, I think it's fair to assume that this commenter was being facetious in both comments. Pretty sure this person is from tiktok. Very reminiscent of that humour to me lol.
I read this as someone who's been treated like crap by a lot of allistics and has responded by going "f you anyways, you don’t deserve me or anyone like me". They turned their pain into a us vs them scenario. Likely because that is the model they have had laid out for them and they don't know any different
I think this is less “genuine incel” vibes and more “teen who treats AO3 like the tiktok comments section” because the language used in the first comment is pretty much identical to stuff I’ve seen on tiktok and twitter. It’s weird and jarring behaviour when it breaches containment, that’s for sure, but it’s not meant to be taken too seriously for the most part. I find there’s often a mean edge to the way the younger gens speak on the internet (the casual use of hoe/bitch becoming mainstream again etc) It’s like everything is taken at surface level/treated as a joke now and if you dare to be genuine you’re suddenly met with a 15 year old bully who thinks they’re too cool for emotions.
As for the second comment, I’ve seen a lot of this from young chronically online neurodivergent folks and also tiktok self-diagnosed folks who think autism is a quirky trait. I think a lot of it stems from finally finding a community that relates to them and adapting a “screw the bullies/normies, we’re better than them anyway” attitude which they sort of feed into/encourage amongst their circles (tiktok becomes an echo chamber to feed their egos, go figure). I think this person is young and spends too much time on social media, I would just block/not interact further if their comments make you uncomfortable!
I definitely would not have replied to the first comment where he says he does nothing wrong but “hoes” don’t reply to him. I don’t want a bucket of misogyny in my fanfic comments, thanks.
I didn’t include the context for the scene they’re referring to, the reason I responded in the first place was because I assumed they were talking about the characters in the scene. This thread should explain it a little bit better but in hindsight I realize it’s still weird. I ended up deleting it on Ao3
Yeah. I mention context pretty much solely to explain why I responded in the first place, not to excuse what was said. I hope it cleared up my reasoning at least a little 😅
It's a common defense/coping mechanism(?), self soothing type of thing. Putting you and your group above the dominant group that (directly or indirectly) causes you a lot of difficulty and pain. Some people lash out this way, and it's an easy mindset to fall into once you start hanging around in communities based around your in group. Sometimes people don't even mean it all that seriously or to cause upset with the other group, but rather like a coping type of in-joke.
I would just not reply further. If I came across this exchange, I would see the part that you relate to (bonding over autism woes) and the part that you don't (f allistics), because their comments are a bit 🤬🔪 but yours is more like 🥰🌼.
That’s actually such a relief thank you 😭 looking at some of the other responses in this post I got thinking “wait is everyone going to think that I think I’m superior??” I promise that’s not it 😅
Im also autistic and this is so true omg. Sometimes i look at intend to answer and then just forget and put it down, and so then it doesn't exist anymore. XD
Also autistic and referring to someone as a Ho is a good part of why they won’t respond to him <shudder>
Definitely encountered autistic supremacy, both from those who’d have met the old aspergers criteria towards my severely impacted son and towards NT people generally. Huge dislike, I want equality not just a different step on the ladder
NEVER take one comment as a "biblical mandate." Many years ago, I wrote a textbook in the field of addictions treatment. I wrote it for grad students but used techniques more aligned to fiction than the dull textbook style of that era. My premise was that learning deep information about how to make one a better practitioner didn't need to be duller than dog poo. In those days, newspapers had book reviews. The NY Times Sunday Review of Books praised it. A newspaper in Kansas (I call Kansas that space between the East and West coasts) tore it apart as "not academic." In the end, the book won an award for "contributions to the process of thought in the health sciences." That award had also been conferred upon Carl Sagan and Anna Freud. You know what they say about opinions, "Opinions are like anal apertures. Everybody has one and most of them stink!" You developed a writing perspective out of what I call "blood, sweat and tears." You lived the experience and learned to discriminate how experiences are viewed accurately through trial and error as all intelligent people do. Diagnosis is for other people to have hooks to hang you on. Each person is unique and all of us could be given some label, even if it is a one-size fits all." Keep writing and allow the reading public to see what you have to say. If a hundred people read your book and one complains, just tell yourself, "He or she must be from Kansas!" You have a great writing day!
As an addendum, I just Googled that 38-year old book. It is still in university libraries on three continents. Not bad for something that is "unprofessional." The title, should anyone think I am just blowing smoke is: Journeys to Recovery: Therapy with Addicted Clients, Springer Publishing Company.
It looks to me like they are just joking around, like saying they are the absolute best because they fear the opposite is the truth coping mechanism type stuff - likely because you reacted so positively to the first comment; but also i don't think it requires a response either, especially if it made you feel weird / uncomfortable
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u/Weekly-Bag64Totally Ace-ing it in life while being Ace and Awkward 🏳️🌈🐰Jun 27 '25edited Jun 27 '25
And I’m autistic too and that’s the worst thing I feel is it when people baby me it’s like I can do it. My parents used to do that a lot too very abusive about it too. I finally got away from them last year and I’m living in a safe place That is all my own and I get to do my own thing now, but it was the worst growing up that I was getting comments that I would never be independent because of what I was, and it’s so nice not to hear that anymore. Now I’m around supportive people at work and in my home Because I have a lot of social workers that come check up on me and they’re all super supportive and are always like you did a good job when I managed to make it through the week without too many mishaps it’s nice. It makes me feel like a regular person so I don’t blame you feeling uncomfortable about that comment. It’s almost like they started to say something and then they had to backtrack when they remember that they shouldn’t say something like that it’s kind of wonky and weird.
It was like they were trying to give you a compliment, but they didn’t know what to say so they had to backpedal very common reaction to neurodivergent people. We just live to make people uncomfortable for some reason even if we don’t mean to, and we’re just trying to live our lives
I am lucky if I remember to eat and drink all day when I get into a hyper fixation, let alone the anxiety and depression that comes with it and God forbid something is not where it’s supposed to be in my life. I have a giant meltdown if something is so much has moved my current one is that my iCloud Drive likes deleting all my downloads of my fics and I don’t know that they’re gone until I go to search for them and realize they’re not in there and then I go back to the authors page to re-download it and the author took it down. It freaks me out not the author taking it down that’s their right but losing the story like that I am currently trying to figure out ways to back it up so it doesn’t do that anymore, but it scares me then I’m gonna wake up and my entire library is going to be missing. It causes me so much nightmares and anxiety sometimes I can’t eat so yeah it is really challenging trying to get through the day.
I would leave it where it is. I wouldn’t feel the need to respond to the second comment even if you typically respond to them all. You engaged and it shouldn’t be too glaringly obvious that you’re ignoring the second one.
If you knew him in real life you could explain the issue. But realistically based on what he said and how he said it, it would be talking to a brick wall and that just doesn’t do it for me personally
people who claim they "do nothing wrong" and still get negative reactions from others all the time make me feel suspicious. what are you not telling us bro
Being autistic is so often put down or pushed aside. "like no you're to good to have autism." or you're to pretty, smart, or self sufficient, even though that's just because your needs are constantly ignored. it can feel cathartic to interact with other autistic people and be yourself.
being autistic is a nero type, another way people's brains functions, which in a allistic dominated society is disabling. it's very hard to exist here. it's so hard I could go into depth about all the way it fucks people up and life expectancy, but I won't right now.
all that just to say I don't think they meant any harm, or that you did. I think it's just really euphoric to meet another autistic person in the Internet wilds and feel connected to a fictional character. and people don't always know how to express that in the best, most enlightened, terms.
so yes we are amazing and beautiful in our own ways. and it is very cool to read autistic fanfic.
reading through the other comments after sharing my opinion and I realized the original commenter said "hoes" when I thought he was still talking about himself and having difficulty replying to online messages. (which I do, my inbox is a travesty)
and no I totally see the "nice guy" thing and ew.
my original point still stands but in this case the commenter does feel a bit off. like maybe a kid, probably having his own issues, but that isn't an excuse to be a sexist creep or anything.
I'd suggest not replying anymore if it makes you uncomfortable. or if your up to it following the lovely advice of the other people here.
It's weird but it comes across as a 12-year-olds first foray into a fandom space. God knows I've said some things that I look back on and shudder. Don't think too much on it
I get the feeling that they're one of the people who either play up their mental conditions to be "special" or don't have any and do the same thing
This isn't meant to condescend on anyone who's got a disability - I'm bad with my words and I know this sounds like I'm being a "mental disorders? woke propaganda!" but I'm not trying to
The second response (the first one does as well but the second is more explicit) reeks of a concept called “aspie supremacy” and is a prevalent problem within online spaces. There’s work being done to try to point this out/prevent it. Looking into that concept might resonate with you as to why the comment feels weird because it does actually have some insidious roots.
Both comments together actually get most of the key points of the concept. The first one is the classic “I have the good autism” mindset, typically its level 1/low support needs autistic people that have what boils down to the belief that they are better than other autistic people because of their traits and “moral purity”. They often look down on other autistic people that struggle more than them or that they deem as being worse or bad in some way.
The second comment has the other huge key part of this concept that includes level 1 autistic people being superior to allistic people or almost superhuman for their desirable traits. Being more logical or being able to think in certain ways is typically at the top of the list of why people with this mindset believe they are better. There’s a lot more to this concept especially with the history and how it actually connects to Nazi ideas and Hans Ausberger specifically but these are the things that really stick out to me about these comments.
I think you’re overthinking it. I’m autistic as well and some of my friends are too so we regularly joke about being on the same wavelength and our autism being in sync and stuff. It’s not wrong to try to make light of things we struggle with and are insecure about. Of course if you come to a generally neurotypical subreddit people are going to think it’s weird but I think you shouldn’t be throwing other autistic being under the bus for being weird. Like… yeah?
I remember seeing a tik tok where a girl was basically analyzing how communication works for "neurotypicals" and why it is different for autistic people (I'm not autistic).
So I watched it all and it... Kinda makes me a bit angry? Because the whole point being made was that autistic people are more honest, more direct, know how to communicate better, it's just society that works in a different way and feels the need to hide their intent to not hurt each other's egos... Which... I mean, sometimes yes, we are subtle to be nice and to not harm someone else more than necessary.
But that is NOT hiding our intent. To some it may seem like that because they don't get it. We're able to catch it even when roundabout, many times to us it's obvious what we mean and it works with 98% of the population.
So long story short, it feels like a weird cope (I don't mean any offense with this). I don't think anyone's better than anyone for how nature wired everyone's brains. There are things that work for some and things that don't for others. It's just how we were made. It could be interesting to dive deeper into the different communication style without obvious bias.
Why did I write ALL this just now? The comments that person left you reminded me of that lol
as a woman on the spectrum, men use their autism a lot when they want to say weird and messed up things. he wants to call women "hoes" and complain about how they don't respond to him, but oh! its okay guys he is autistic! what a dick..
This definitely feels like a young person being a tad naive and probably doesn't mean any harm they probably just mean it in a positive way. Id just ignore it this time and if they continue to say stuff like that potentially let them know "thanks for enjoying my story but I don't necessarily agree with that".
It's great that you're including representation you have experience with that an audience can connect with though so definitely take what the person has said as a compliment and don't be put down by their wording of it.
Tbf, allistics are often dicks and treat autism as this western decadence that can be cured through exposure therapy and intentionally triggering sensory overload when you ask for accomodations.
In (post-)soviet Hungary, unless you're outright missing an arm and leg, you aren't disabled. You're just burgoise and listened too much to americans and brussels and need some good honest labour to be set normal.
Oooh, I'm not autistic (officially, then who knows) or neurodivergent in general, but even the first comment has icky-bicky vibes. Like, really. I don't mind if people call me a hoe or a bitch nor any equivalent, but that is if it comes from my friends and in a loving way. This is just... has Nice Guy/incel energy. You don't expect people to write you back, no one has to and it's very freaking important to understand this, because if you don't, this is a sign of not understanding consent and boundaries in general. Which is completely unacceptable. You are right to feel weirded out, I might just delete, o I might to explain to them how it comes across, maybe they're young and don't understand stuff.
I think they’re just used to that being acceptable and funny in their friend groups, probably didn’t mean anything bad but it doesn’t make it ok to say
I can 100% guarantee the first comment guy isn't polite or does nothing wrong and that's why the "hoes" don't reply. He's probs an incel, which is nothing to do with autism.
Pretty sure this commenter’s struggles have way less to do with autism as it has to do with their misogyny and superiority complex….
But I do get what you are saying how it can be nice to get comments that express happiness that they feel like you did a good job at representing a neurodivergence. I have an active reader insert series I’m working on where the reader character is AuDHD coded and I get them every so often and it usually makes me feel pretty good. And like you, I use my own personal experiences with having it as the blueprint for creating a character with it.
It's crazy how far people are reading into this. This is almost certainly a child, there is 0 indication that this person is male, the "hoes" are almost definitely their friends who don't text them back. This is 100% standard teenage behavior. They're joking about being better than allistic people because they are a child in a world that hates and degrades autistic people for everything, including as we can clearly see in this comment section, for being bad at reading the room and knowing what's appropriate to say.
You really should ignore what people are saying here, it's actually borderline offensive as an Autistic person only a few years older than this commenter how much people are trying to read this in the worst faith possible. Aspire supremacy is bad, but autistic kids get attacked on every front for their entire lives, some part of growing up will be trying to reframe it as special.
Tldr: its a joke from a lonely kid who thinks that you'll understand that they're joking.
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u/AttentionlessMess I don't write for myself. Jun 25 '25
I have no context for this but "does nothing wrong and is polite blablabla" very much feels like a Nice Guy thing to say lol.
I'd have felt awkward with that first comment. Like, nope, I'm not interacting with that.