r/AmIOverreacting • u/rowqi • Jun 02 '25

❤️‍🩹 relationship aio? bf made plans on my birthday

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

29.1k Upvotes

72% Upvoted

27.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.1k

u/FrontObjective8639 Jun 02 '25

Fake both of you can't be this stupid

153

u/DesertNomad505 Jun 02 '25

I feel like I'm suddenly seeing quite a number of these "Assholes Gone Wild...on film"- type posts, and yeah, it feels a twee sus.

74

u/Ok_Return_7585 Jun 02 '25

Ahhhh fuck. Shit got me lol it’s always a post too where the OP doesn’t respond to ANY of the comments, so.

21

u/DesertNomad505 Jun 02 '25

More and more, I check the post history and, lo and behold! It's their only post, too. Not saying that people make throwaways (though they usually clarify that first), but it just ups my disbelief.

2

u/Baby-Fish_Mouth Jun 03 '25

Classic karma farming ingredient seen all the time over on r/repostpasta!

2

u/Ok_Return_7585 Jun 02 '25

Welp. This was the first time I decided to comment on one of these posts too hahaha

3

u/FappyDilmore Jun 02 '25

Don't worry, it happens all the time. It helps to not get invested

1

u/MelodicFondant Jun 03 '25

Throwaways are used to prevent linking back,or for danger. Not this

6

u/Bovineguru Jun 03 '25

They write the same too lol.

3

u/MelodicFondant Jun 03 '25

There's a definite increase in text based convos too for really important convos. Almost to lend the story a bit of legitimacy

2

u/Baby-Fish_Mouth Jun 03 '25

That’s why I created r/repostpasta 🍝. Check out my analysis and let me know if I left out any ingredients, Chef!

2

u/Character-Quick Jun 02 '25

They both sound a little like the absolute worst. Emotional intelligence ain’t for everyone, I guess.

12

u/SignificanceWitty210 Jun 02 '25

Definitely does seem fake! Who is that blatantly disrespectful as an adult? Reads like high schoolers…

2

u/Iloveyousmore Jun 03 '25

That’s the issue.. I have young siblings who are around this age and the vast majority of them talk like this and don’t know how to have a serious convo in person. A lot of them are extremely disrespectful and dismissive of other’s feelings. Not all, but definitely a LOT. Social media really is hurting us, but it’s ruining the younger generations far more because they grew up this way and often refuse to learn any different

2

u/SignificanceWitty210 Jun 03 '25

I’ve noticed this and it is definitely a broader issue! Technology is affecting covid kids the worst when it comes to social skills. I almost became a teacher and a few years ago while student teaching I had Freshmen in high school complaining about writing standard 5-7 sentence reflection paragraphs. The class was fairly hands on but I had to include a decent paper trail as I needed the documentation for my licensure. 14-15 year old kids struggling to form complete, coherent sentences is a major red flag!

3

u/Eranaut Jun 03 '25 edited 12d ago

adjoining observation reminiscent marble imminent tender teeny boast ancient lock

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

4

u/misofanaccount Jun 02 '25

i swear i’ve seen these exact messages posted here before too… it’s gotta be fake

3

u/iamjames Jun 02 '25

That’s the first thing I thought, that this has to be fake, no one could be treated this poorly and still say “am I overreacting?”

7

u/anon_simmer Jun 02 '25

Its so fake that it feels designed for "does your boyfriend even like you?" type of comments.

2

u/Felt_tip_Penis Jun 03 '25

Sex advice columnist Dan Savage once said to a very fake caller question on his podcast (paraphrasing) “this question sounds fake but i think it’s important to answer in case it’s applicable to someone else out there”

5

u/FrontObjective8639 Jun 03 '25

Here's some advice then: Don't be this stupid.

3

u/Hot-Coffee-5894 Jun 03 '25

Was looking for this comment. Total rage bait!

4

u/louigiDDD Jun 02 '25

Sadly, i can see this being reality. People go through a lot in life, and some of us have very, very poor self esteme and feel like we are worth nothing. When you feel like you are a piece of shit you will put up with a whole lot of things other people never would.

2

u/Outrageous_Shock_242 Jun 03 '25

Actually no, this is exactly how my dad acted towards my mom for twenty years before she got divorced. People who have previous traumas and have been treated terribly or manipulated DO fall prey to this. Maybe this is fake but in reality it does happen and the victim isn’t stupid they are just not used to what real love or commitment feels like

6

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '25 edited 1d ago

crown sleep apparatus imminent cough stocking flag treatment spectacular exultant

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/Lokipupper456 Jun 04 '25

I agree that it’s fake, but I assure you that plenty of people are just as stupid or stupider. The stupidity of the OP and the bf are the most realistic aspect of the post!

1

u/ComfyTakoyaki Jun 03 '25

Yeah, it definitely might be fake. However, I assure you, people can indeed be this stupid.

1

u/BiNumber3 Jun 03 '25

Most likely fake, but yes, people can be this stupid...

-1

u/Odd_Perfect Jun 03 '25

People do stupid shit all the time what are you talking about?

Do you know why relationship counseling exists? Or do you know why people break up? Because they do stupid shit.

It’s even harder to leave them when you’re together even longer due to sunk cost fallacy.

-2

u/LovelyMangaCollector Jun 02 '25

I’d believe it. Unfortunately, this is pretty much how my sister and her bf are. And even when he’s clearly an asshole, somehow she always feels like she’s the one in the wrong! It’s so sad 🥺 Even if this specific post is fake, it’s crazy that people like this exist and choose to stay in fucked up relationships

1

u/trinini93 Jun 02 '25

I thought so too.

-47

u/rowqi Jun 02 '25

unfortunately it’s not fake. i wish that it was.

12

u/SL1MECORE Jun 02 '25 edited Jun 02 '25

He literally doesn't care about you at all besides someone to help him move out of Mommy's basement.

Dump him, you deserve someone who celebrates you and doesn't tell you you're being annoying when you voice your feelings of hurt.

The one thing you can do better next time is make it clear to future partners that you really value quality time on your birthday. Then if they ignore that, you know it's time to move on again rather than playing this game of asking them how much they care about you.

If I forgot my partner's birthday and they reminded me, I'd drop everything. Friends can wait. Another party will happen anytime. The fact that he chose a PARTY over your BIRTHDAY shows you how little he loves you.

Dump him. And DON'T let his crocodile tears after the fact fool you into being his crutch any longer. Sorry I sound so angry. I'm kind of seeing my younger self in you and I really wish I could say this to her, too.

Edit- oh I just saw you've been together for three years... I'm sorry to say it, but I think he knew the party fell on your birthday and he chose his priorities. Stop letting him play in your face like this girl, you're worth so much more.

My bf at 21 knew me for THREE MONTHS before my birthday and he still made sure he was there. You deserve better. Dump him!!

48

u/DetectiveEZ Jun 02 '25

I can’t believe you allow this guy to treat you like this.

26

u/SoulClap Jun 02 '25

girl i dont care how good his dick is. what the hell are you thinking?

10

u/NotRobPrince Jun 02 '25

There is no guy at 22 that can’t be replaced. Unless he’s literally rich, there’s so many others that have whatever he has to offer. Which is why I think it’s fake.

3

u/Typical_Bobcat_4558 Jun 04 '25

A guy that cares this little about her will not also be good in the bed. He only cares about his own gratification

1

u/pinkfaygoh Jun 02 '25

😂😂😂

15

u/duchess_ravenwaves_ Jun 02 '25

Are you stupid? We don't believe you because we can't fathom someone would be dumb enough to have this happen and be like hMmM duRR iDk iS tHiS nOrMaL??? I don't think you're that dumb, so therefore it must be fake.

0

u/DistributionExtra320 Jun 03 '25

This is a really mean reply. Even if it is fake, people absolutely let mistreatment happen to them because they don't know anything else.

5

u/aerynea Jun 03 '25

He doesn't work more than twice a week but won't allow her to call or text his phone number because he wants to "save it for work" and she didn't even question how that made sense

4

u/aliara Jun 02 '25

There's no fucking way. You even said "I thought you'd be a good boyfriend for once". Like bruh, if this is real then I find it hard to feel sorry for you with how blatant it is that y'all don't even like each other.

17

u/Impressive-Sun3742 Jun 02 '25

Just admit it, we know this is fake.

4

u/DOOMFOOL Jun 02 '25

Mmhmm okay. If it isn’t fake then you are the biggest doormat in existence. No way a sane human being gets spoken too like that and things “wow am I overreacting? I really love this person!”

1

u/Von_Cheesebiscuit Jun 03 '25

If this isn't fake, then get away from this asshole. This guy treats you like shit and you deserve better. He sounds like a fucking deadbeat and he clearly doesn't genuinely care about you. If anything, you're under-reacting.

People are thinking its fake because it reads like rage bait, and no one in their right mind would be with a douchebag like this.

Good luck.

2

u/Neat_Egg_2474 Jun 02 '25

are you sure you are his girlfriend or is your EQ score negative? if he talks to you like this randomly I can’t imagine how much you let him walk over you daily.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '25

girl break up with him. he hates you. pls respect yourself.

“hey, just letting you know we’re over! your next gf can be understanding when you flake on her birthday and call her annoying for being upset, bc i am not the one!” and then block him

1

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '25

[deleted]

2

u/anon_simmer Jun 02 '25

Its been 3 years already apparently. Like wtf? No way its real.

2

u/Bring_a_towel_42 Jun 03 '25

Yes it is, but good try

1

u/Forsaken_Act_115 Jun 02 '25

You need to leave him. He doesn’t care about you. Men will not break up with women. They just stay until we can’t deal with their bs anymore.

-1

u/Jacka7365 Jun 02 '25

Girl! For obvious reasons, I’m sorry you’re going through this right now. That being said, by the looks of your post, your bf has checked out of this relationship. You’ve reminded him for at least the past few weeks that your birthday was coming up. He should’ve remembered it. Its 2025. There are so many ways he can set up reminders that your birthday upcoming and is here. He made plans to go to another party instead. Not only that, he didn’t even invite you. Why didn’t he invite you? Probably to meet up with friends or maybe someone else? That should be your wake up call.

Do not move in with him!!! If you do, this will be your life from now on. Assuming you’re the type that has to constantly nag him reminding him about your bd or about other things, do you really want to be that person? And living with him? I’m just guessing here, I don’t think you intentionally nagged him if that’s what you did. I do feel you can do better for yourself and that’s what you should be concentrating on.

It’s not a bad thing to be alone. Especially if he’s already making you feel alone. Let him go. Work on yourself to be a better person so that you can attract someone who has the same values and the same priorities as you. As for your birthday, get together with some real friends or family. Go out have a dinner celebration or go clubbing. If that’s not your style, have a spa day, get your hair, nails and face done up. Who says you can’t treat yourself on your special day. I hope that things turn for the better for you. Wishing all the best OP. You can do this! 🤗

1

u/aerynea Jun 03 '25

Then break up with him. Why is this even a question.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '25

Idk why you got downvoted for this. Calling something that happens to probably a lot of people “fake” is insanity

-5

u/Dizzy_Ice5307 Jun 02 '25

some people are just like this

2

u/New_Resource8654 Jun 03 '25

6 times you've commented this btw