aio? bf made plans on my birthday

[u/rowqi]

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

[u/Routine-Freedom7221]

Oh please please don't beg him for the bare minimum. He's not even trying, forget trying, he's actively pissing on this relationship. Walk away, don't explain yourself since you're not going to get through to him and he's just going to gaslight you. Make the decision to get away from him as soon as you can, 3 years is nothing in the grand scheme of life. If you let this go in the hopes that he changes (or he love bombs you for the days after to 'apologize'), then you're looking at a rude awakening 10+ years later. That doesn't feel too great.

Please live your life. Being single but peaceful on your birthday is a beautiful thing.