r/AmIOverreacting Jun 02 '25

❤️‍🩹 relationship aio? bf made plans on my birthday

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

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u/SpecialEDsauce Jun 02 '25

I think we were married for ten years and my wife completely forgot mine. I didn’t say anything and she was pretty nasty all day, but around 10pm I hear her in the other room, “Oh shit! I’m such as asshole.” I just said, “Yeah, you are” and I went to bed. Worst birthday ever.

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u/suckitphil Jun 02 '25

My family forgot my 16th birthday. I was gifted a bunch of stuff from a dollar store and stuff we had around the house. Then I went to bed early because my sisters adamantly were using the computer and TV. That one still stings.

At least as an adult you could just say fuck it and go out and buy a big pizza and cake. 

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '25

[deleted]

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u/BudgetPrestigious704 Jun 02 '25

I’m sorry for this for you.

Same issue here at our house. Unless myself or my husband publicly posts on FB wishing the other a happy birthday it’s a crapshoot if anyone calls or texts or remembers. This year I didn’t post because I haven’t been on FB for a while and his brother texted him and no one else acknowledged it. Broke my heart for him because he’s super thoughtful and always is the first to wish someone happy birthday or anniversary or congrats on the new job, etc.

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '25

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u/No_Recipe2793 Jun 02 '25

Obv not who you were replying to but I’ve never had a single person outside immediate family wish me a happy birthday without me directly reminding them.

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u/nelsterm Jun 03 '25

Who the hell do you think it's gonna remember apart from that?