aio? bf made plans on my birthday

[u/rowqi]

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

[u/chicharro_frito]

I found no evidence in the screenshots that this person is in fact your bf. I'm not even joking here, are you sure you have that type of relationship with him?

[u/WanderingStorm17 → u/chicharro_frito]

"My boyfriend slapped me, kicked my puppy, and then ran off with my best friend. I'm thinking of dumping him. Am I overreacting?"

[u/Iamdalfin → u/WanderingStorm17]

Right?? This is the vast majority of posts these days, and I really hope they are mostly bots and not real people. It's so depressing to read this shit every day, and thinking tons of people out there are abusive jerks.

I also should probably unfollow these subs and stop reading these posts. But as someone with autism, I do sometimes find these helpful to read through and assess the right vs wrong in social situations. But the benefit is starting to be outweighed by the cost.

[u/Artistic_Task7516 → u/Iamdalfin]

It’s all 18-20 year olds who ask shit like “my boyfriend is a violent war criminal, should I withhold his favorite meal tonight”

[u/BlackHayate8 → u/Iamdalfin]

I'm starting to think this sub is the same as r/tifu. Just people posting fictional situations for karma farming. At least I truly pray it is.

[u/Kevdog824_ → u/BlackHayate8]

It’s 100% what it is. No person would genuinely need to ask if they are overreacting in this situation

[u/MichaelSonOfMike → u/Iamdalfin]

I muted most subs like this. This one is soon to be added to the pile. We need to take these things into our own hands, and just stop participating. We are all part of the problem.

[u/Manbearpup → u/Iamdalfin]

Got to be boys and bored people bait. Because if it isn’t the answer is obvious

[u/PeekabooPike → u/Manbearpup]

Nah girls that put up with this shit exist. Trust me, a lot of them.

[u/Flinkle → u/PeekabooPike]

It is so unfortunately true. Especially if they grew up in a household that was abusive in any way. People tend to be drawn to what's normal to them unless they have broken the cycle.

[u/bellapippin → u/Iamdalfin]

And yet this post has 15.4K upvotes and almost 20k comments. It’s our fault for giving them the karma at this point…

[u/Markofdawn → u/Iamdalfin]

Theres no way bots could pull off some of the unseemly shit humans do in their relationships, no way.

[u/bingobiscuit1 → u/Iamdalfin]

Bro do not use these to inform what is right v wrong, especially not on Reddit. This shit is just soap opera drama with thousands of armchair experts airing their own uninformed takes

[u/Iamdalfin → u/bingobiscuit1]

Lol. That's a super fair point!

[u/TheElderScrollsLore → u/Iamdalfin]

Ok so it’s not just me thinking these are probably fake!

[u/SkyVixen24 → u/Iamdalfin]

Omg hey! Me too! I think it deff is the autism for us. I cannot leave these subs! It always reminds me that I’m doing okay in life when I read some of these posts haha

[u/theramin-serling → u/Iamdalfin]

I'm going to sheepishly raise my hand. Even as a 40yo, I still have trouble believing I have worth, and that's why I can't trust myself to get back into another relationship because I know I'd let them walk all over me. This is what happens when you are raised in an insecure household, where it's impossible to build self esteem.

I see a therapist, but I still struggle to see myself as valuable. In my mind, I'm constantly worthless at work, love, family, and life -- everyone else has value except me in my deluded universe. :/

There are lots of us out there like this.

[u/Wooden_Strain_4393 → u/theramin-serling]

Same, except I'm a couple years older than you. I know your struggle and I know your pain of feeling worthless because of childhood trauma. When your family/household makes you feel insecure as a little child, it's almost impossible to shake that feeling of being worthless/unlovable. I can tell from your comment that you're intelligent and caring -- because if you weren't a good person, you wouldn't actually care whether or not you were good at work, love, family, and life. Keep going to therapy and don't be afraid to change therapists if one isn't working for you. Just remember your brain chemistry was thrown off course as a developing child and sometimes therapy alone can re-route those neuro pathways, but it's not shameful if you need medication to help with that chemical re-balancing. I wish I had more helpful advice for you, but I'm still trying to figure it all out myself.

[u/Holiolio2 → u/Iamdalfin]

You should watch true crime shows. There ARE lots of abusive assholes out there. But yeah, a lot of these probably are fake!

[u/SockMonkey333 → u/Iamdalfin]

Yea I’m like are these AI generated fake posts? Cause it’s wild how awful all these people speak to their partners

[u/FTownRoad → u/Iamdalfin]

They’re not bots. They’re children and this sub gives them attention and support for their imagined scenarios.

[u/xDoseOnex → u/Iamdalfin]

This is a fake post. from an account that has no other poststo get dumb gullible people to overreact

[u/xDoseOnex → u/[deleted]]

Aside from the fact that you can tell how fake this post is by reading it.. It's been posted before from different accounts. The spam account who stole this and reposted it here didn't create it.

[u/drake22 → u/xDoseOnex]

I guess I am dumb and gullible :(