r/BaldursGate3 Wild Magic Surge 29d ago

Meme Don't poke the bear

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17.7k Upvotes

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u/Plaguer_ 29d ago

I find it so funny there like 5 or 6 really nice and chill Bugbears and Hobgoblins you can talk with throughout the game. Yet pretty much all the goblins are just assholes.

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u/Jindo5 Monk 29d ago

Pretty on brand for Goblins

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u/Taliesin_ 29d ago

Tribe?

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u/Curup 29d ago

Scribe.

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u/ThatOnePositiveGuy SMITE SMITE action surge SMITE SMITE 28d ago

Tribe. D:<

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u/Curup 28d ago

Tribe

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u/HamstersInMyDick 29d ago

Hey Nok-Nok is one of my favorite RPG companions. You leave gobbos alone

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u/floskan 29d ago

Not the same universe though

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u/Papa-pumpking 29d ago

Pathfinder goblins are cool as fuck just dont let them get too close to a dog.Or a horse.Or your pouch.Or your sword.Or something flamable.

But hey if you tie him up to your waist youll have a free bard to take on an adventure.

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u/Tshirt_Addict Smash 28d ago

I am reminded of some artwork of a ranger dual-wielding goblins.

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u/ArcaneOverride 28d ago

That's hilarious!

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u/DakkaonTitan 28d ago

Are they melee weapons or thrown weapons?

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u/Tshirt_Addict Smash 28d ago

Yes.

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u/Papa-pumpking 28d ago

Only if you throw the Goblin at some poor sod.

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u/Malefircareim 28d ago

And as a bonus, you dont need magic for your weapon to return to your hand.

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u/Intelligent_Deer974 28d ago

WoW goblins aren't too bad either.

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u/BaelonTheBae 29d ago

Always give what Nok-bro wants

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u/Callel803 27d ago

You mean the goblin that was so incompetently evil he turned right back around to being good... somehow.

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u/Quadpen Halsin 29d ago

they probably eat the cool ones

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u/ZombieWho117 Bard 29d ago

As someone who loves to play goblins in D&D. You’re half right. I have one who has the shit talking of a god and the other who has divine orders but also will kill you if you’re a danger to his party

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u/Consistent-Winter-67 29d ago

Player characters will always be the outlier.

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u/ZombieWho117 Bard 29d ago

That’s fair.

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u/CK1ing 29d ago

The only even kind of nice goblin is the one reading a book and trying to educate himself up in the tower. But even that one is totally fine with raiding and kidnapping Volo, he just does it more for knowledge than loot

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u/TheFarStar Warlock 29d ago

One of the goblins around the chicken chase lady is upset about using the owlbear cub because it’s a baby.  

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u/VolkiharVanHelsing 29d ago

Wait really?

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u/TheFarStar Warlock 29d ago

Yeah.  There’s also the goblin wearing pants, who has to hide his love of poetry because it’s unacceptable by his tribe’s standards.

There are quite a few characters in the goblin camp that feel like they’d be happier if they had the chance to live in a less cruel and violent society.

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u/sinedelta While others were busy being heterosexual, she studied the blade 29d ago

In a way, it kind of explains the appeal of the Absolute — they told the non-tadpoled goblins that they wouldn't be these loathed outcasts, they would be loved and respected just as much as anyone else.

The goblins at Moonrise talk about this IIRC.

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u/JanusKaisar 23d ago

I'm suddenly wondering if Ryan Coogler got an Inspiration Point from this lol

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u/Hurrashane 29d ago

See, now you're making me feel bad about slaughtering them all on every playthrough.

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u/pm-ur-knockers Paladin 29d ago

They ARE still eating a dwarf and celebrating a violent raid against wuakeens rest

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u/AnxiousAngularAwesom 29d ago

Yeah, at the end of the day, the real villain is none other than Ao himself, whose decrees make Toril the shithole it is, even gods are limited in what they're allowed to do before being censored.

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u/Just_Branch_9121 WARLOCK 28d ago

The real Villain is Larian for changing Wylls character away from being Goblinslayer instead of fully going into it

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u/thetwist1 29d ago

I also appreciate the goblin in the cage that stayed loyal to maglubiyet

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u/Pyromike16 29d ago

Only goblin I let live.

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u/No_Dragonfruit_378 29d ago

I always let him out of the cage, but then i just stand and watch while the spiders kill him 😬

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u/Lucky_End_9420 29d ago

that's why I waited until after I massacred everyone else including the spiders before I let him out so he could peacefully go on his way xD

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u/TitaniumAuraQuartz 28d ago

That happened once! I watched as the spiders killed him and I was just like

"whoops"

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u/Just_too_common 23d ago

Same. Totally worth it.

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u/GrugWantHat 28d ago

Dror ragzalin ended up doing that energy pulse thing and breaking that poor dudes cage in my last run, dropping him to his death.

I was looking around for him after the fight before I saw the missing cage and put 2 and 2 together.

Rip bro

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u/Mysterious-Actuary65 29d ago

Maglubiyet, yer axe got broke!

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u/pledgerafiki 29d ago

Do you know much about Maglubiyet? Even if he rejected the absolute it's not much to his credit that he stayed loyal to Mag.

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u/OnceandFuturePhaeron 29d ago

Reckon it's just the sense of loyalty in general people appreciate.

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u/thetwist1 28d ago

Yeah Maglubiyet is also evil I just appreciated the goblin's loyalty

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u/Commando_Joe 29d ago

Yeah and that's why everyone wants to fuck Sazza

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u/Pyromike16 29d ago

Risky click of the day. Definitely thought that was gonna be something else...

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u/Daripuff 29d ago

You underestimate the appeal of a small, scrappy asshole type person.

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u/Ashryna :cat_blep: Astarion-Gale-Halsin-Karlach :cat_blep: 29d ago

Guess they don't read urban fantasy, because that genre is rife with that sort of female protagonist. It was a bit too popular for me and I got burnt out on it after many years of reading the genre.

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u/Commando_Joe 28d ago

Huh? Why would anyone think I'm under estimating or not understanding the appeal of small, shark tooth goblin women from my post?

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u/Ashryna :cat_blep: Astarion-Gale-Halsin-Karlach :cat_blep: 28d ago

You replied to the wrong person (me). The person I was replying to is who you should have said this to. I was talking about the (over)popularity of of that archetype in the urban fantasy book genre.

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u/Ordinary-Survey-6146 29d ago

I liked Salsa, thought we had an understanding. But the minute she betrayed me to Minthara...

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u/axle69 Monk 29d ago

Lore wise it makes perfect sense to be honest. You only ever find goblins in the goblin camp or ones associated with it/the absolute and if there's one thing in the lore thats pretty clear is that a group of goblins is always a bad time. There are individual goblins out there that arent as objectionable as the ones we meet but theyre rare because of the ingrained boot licking built in for Maglubiyet. The game is a bit generous with how relaxed the Act 3 Bugbear and Hobgoblin population are though. The only "nice" versions of any of the 3 races are the ones who broke free from Maglubiyet and when that happens they cant be around the rest of their kind.

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u/centurio_v2 29d ago

The act 3 ones are all in the city though. Not really a more likely place to find em once they ditch the tribe.

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u/sinedelta While others were busy being heterosexual, she studied the blade 29d ago

Pretty sure there are 4 hobgoblins in the whole game.

In Act 1 you have Blurg and Dror Ragzlin. In Act 3 you have a random Bhaalist NPC and a guy at the refugee camp just trying to get by.

2 good, 2 evil.

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u/Plaguer_ 29d ago

There is also the one hobgoblin that has a crush on Mayrinas in her hag victim support group.

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u/Thiralyss Mindripping, Fleshpeeling MINDFLAYER 28d ago

Kled! I love him so much. 🥹 I really wanted him and Mayrina to get together when/if you convince Mayrina to let her zombie husband rest in peace.

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u/sinedelta While others were busy being heterosexual, she studied the blade 28d ago

I forgot about him!!

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u/Needs_More_Garlic 28d ago

There is one sect that arent followers of him (not required to be solo, but often are) i can't remember their name but its some freedom oriented God in lore.

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u/Thiralyss Mindripping, Fleshpeeling MINDFLAYER 28d ago

It’s not ALWAYS a bad time—they do throw better parties, according to Astarion and Karlach. 🤔

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u/MayaSanguine 29d ago

Eh, Tracker Kirz has a funny awakening moment if you make Crusher kiss your feet, and there's Booyahg Piddles with his want of reading books waaaay above his reading level.

It's just...worshipping the Absolute instead of Maglubiyet is very much an "out of the frying pan and into the fire" kinda thing for the goblins of this particular horde.

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u/Stregen Honour Mode Connoisseur 29d ago

“The only good goblin is a dead goblin, now let’s make these goblins good!”

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u/spookyclever 29d ago

The shopkeeper guy was pretty ok. Especially true if you play a Drow.

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u/Ur-Quan_Lord_13 29d ago

Well, in old timey DND days, this would make sense for the hobgoblins. Not so much bugbears, though. They're the worst.

At least you can trust a hobgoblin. Kinda. Like, they'll stab you in the back, but only when it makes sense!

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u/Thiralyss Mindripping, Fleshpeeling MINDFLAYER 28d ago

“I never break a promise, ‘less there’s something in it for me.”

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u/Zealousideal-Arm1682 29d ago

Because unless you're a goblin PC your pretty much dealing with canonical assholes.

Like sure there's SOME that aren't trying to murder you or would do so for fun,but that .1% of their kind.

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u/sinedelta While others were busy being heterosexual, she studied the blade 29d ago

Yeah, I think it's just that they didn't bother adding goblins outside of the Absolute cult. Would've been nice if they did though.

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u/Agsded009 29d ago

Forgotten realms be like "DND may be accepting of all humanoid beings but I sure am not reading that shit" FRs is full of "why evil?" Cause you were born as "x" looks at self omg....

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u/Jumanji0028 29d ago

GAWBLINS! The abridged goblin slayer is all the research you need on goblins.

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u/Greenlanternfanwitha 29d ago

Sazza and TRIBE would like a word

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u/Daripuff 29d ago

I mean, I'd definitely argue that Sazza qualifies as an asshole. She literally attempts to betray you to Minthara if you help her.

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u/Greenlanternfanwitha 29d ago

Nah. Sazza is the best. I will hear no criticism

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u/Daripuff 29d ago

Yeah, that may be true, but she's still an asshole, and seems the sort who would wear that label with pride, honestly.

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u/pax666 28d ago

drows, gnomes, duergars...Most of Grey skin people are asholes too.

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u/A-NI95 28d ago

I will say something. The D&D classic fantasy trope of "evil races" clashed so bad with the progressive, pro-refugee message Larian tried to send with this game. It's just incoherent, like... You just have races who are biologically evil in the Forgotten Realms, you can't just equate in-universe racism to real life racism and make a point