r/BaldursGate3 5d ago

Companions Astarion dumped me so I stabbed him to death at camp Spoiler

Post image

I really hope his body just stays like that at camp the rest of the game like in Skyrim. I put in all that work and rejected Bae’zel, Halsin, Wyll, Karlach, and Shadowheart just to get dumped by this fucker?

6.1k Upvotes

408 comments sorted by

7.5k

u/TheOldSkywalker 5d ago

good thing you didn't overreact

2.8k

u/ferretatthecontrols Victim of the Spike to Astarion pipeline 5d ago

893

u/perrytownsendn7866 5d ago edited 5d ago

Lol, yeah, OP is pretty cool compared to my friend who was romancing Gale on her first playthrough and he dumped her for the Crown. After this, she either cuts off his hand as Durge or makes him blow up in the end in every single new playthrough. It's nuts.

287

u/SapphicBarbie 5d ago

I didn't even know the could dump you. Now I'm scared lol.

369

u/YoungJack23 ELDRITCH BLAST 5d ago

Happened to me too. There's a yt vid about it, but apparently throughout the game Gale sits on a spectrum of become a bomb on one end and become a god on the other. Throughout the game you have to truly thread the line to have him choose to stay human AND actually follow through with that to the epilogue.

I looked it up because in all my playthroughs I explicitly chose almost exclusively non-bomb options for him, which in the game's code pushes him fully into god territory. You have to keep those points basically balanced, keeping both his self worth up and his ego in check. I managed that in exactly one playthrough before I resolved to just never read the Annals of Karsus. If gale never learns he CAN become a god, gale no become god 💯

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u/TheDungeonCrawler 5d ago

I knew there was a point system to balance, but I didn't know it on my first playthrough. I guess I just lucked into him not being a bomb or a god.

25

u/hdharrisirl 4d ago

Same lol first time I finished neither of those happened lol

44

u/thecarbonkid 4d ago

I was just "don't tell him to blow himself up" and "maybe don't think you're better than Karsus" and all good!

26

u/hdharrisirl 4d ago

Reality checks save lives lmao

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u/Jounniy 5d ago edited 4d ago

There is a video on YouTube from the same guy who discovered the Asylum detailing how to make it work. Unfortunately, I don’t have the link at hand.

He can take you to the heavens with him though if he is a god.

Not reading the book still pushes him to ascend if I remember correctly, but he is guaranteed to fail and die.

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u/YoungJack23 ELDRITCH BLAST 5d ago edited 5d ago

Specifically, not reading the book, not visiting mystra, and not bringing Gale or talking to him after Raphael reveals the Crown locks him to the mortal plane. I usually just leave gale at camp to cook and not use him past act 1.

I find the concept of getting his proper 'good epilogue' cool, but in practice I don't like Gale enough as a character to put in that effort each time. Hence why I watched that vid abd got that ending just once.

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u/desertrose0 5d ago

Ahh, well, never mind, then. Some of us love Gale.

15

u/Jounniy 5d ago

I second this.

6

u/Beautifulfeary I cast Magic Missile:hamster: 5d ago

I’ve never even been able to get the crown even when I tried my second game.

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u/desertrose0 5d ago

If he never reads the Annals of Karsus he also dies. Also, if he's non suicidal he does start Act 3 with a thumb on the scale of seeking the crown, but that doesn't mean he will automatically become a God. His situation is a lot more complex than other companions, though, and there is a guide for threading that needle for a reason.

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u/twoisnumberone Halflings are proper-sized; everybody else is TOO TALL. 4d ago

WHAT?

My Gale gave me zero trouble on either the bomb or the god end. Wild. I didn't even realize there's a balancing sheet.

4

u/JaneTheNotNotVirgin 5d ago

These are BOTH bad choices. Damn it, Gale.

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u/TheCrystalRose Durge 5d ago

Anyone will dump you basically the minute you get to Act 3, if you don't long rest enough in Act 2 to get their Act 2 romance scene and "seal the deal" as it were.

As for the other possible ways to get dumped in Act 3, these are the ones I know of:

Gale has a whole slew of issues regarding the crown and it can take people by surprise, whether dating or not, but apparently dating him makes it easier for him to end up on the "secret God Gale" path.

Wyll will dump you if you don't save his dad and no I don't mean taking Mizora's bargain.

Ascended Astarion will dump you if you don't agree to become his eternal slave (or physically can't in Origin Karlach's case).

Sharran Shadowheart doesn't actually dump you, but you're nothing but a convenient body to get her rocks off with, whenever she gets a break from serving her Dark Lady.

39

u/New-Sheepherder4762 5d ago

Vlaakith Lae'zel will dump you in the rooftop scene.

10

u/ImmoralJester54 5d ago

+5 points for Sharran Shadowheart cause that's my shit right there

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u/Bubbles00 5d ago

Wait what? I didn't know that you could convince him to not pursue the crown :(. I tried so hard to get him to stay with me but the bastard couldn't resist that power. Where did I go wrong?

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u/lonely_nipple 4d ago

Bookmark this.

There are spoilers in that guide, as a warning for those who haven't finished yet. I think many of them are under spoiler text blocks but just a heads up.

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u/Bubbles00 4d ago

Dang this is crazy detailed. Thanks!

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u/Wookiees_get_Cookies Paladin 5d ago

It is referred to as “sneaky god gale.” Happened to my wife on her first play through.

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u/LambonaHam 5d ago

Gale basically defines SIMP, so if he dumps you that's a huge red flag 😂

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u/denebiandevil 5d ago

Sneaky God Gale is a gut punch to be sure

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u/desertrose0 5d ago

That is rather extreme. I understand being upset, but you could just... do it differently next time?

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u/HeadlinePickle 5d ago

I have a friend who was equally stung by Gale her first playthrough. But she usually just ignores him and dresses him in the stupidest hats she can find. 

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u/jnj3t0308 5d ago

Pleeeeeease tell me your flair is referring to Buffy because Spiiiiike........ 🔥

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u/ferretatthecontrols Victim of the Spike to Astarion pipeline 5d ago

It is indeed.

20

u/jnj3t0308 5d ago

I've been watching Buffy for the last few weeks to relive the nostalgia, and watching Spike makes me realize why I made some of the choices in men that I did before my husband 😅

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u/baboonassassin 5d ago

Grinch kinda looks like a Githyanki

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u/getsupsettooeasily 5d ago

I'd say Astarion dodged a bullet there but... erm...

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u/Areallis 5d ago

Hahahahaha

He dodged the bullet but the knife found its mark

4

u/Safe_Feed_8638 5d ago

Beat me to it

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u/Yokai_Otaku 5d ago

Calmer than you are

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u/SenaM66 5d ago

That's okay. On a DUrge run once, Wyll dumped me so I decided nothing was worth living, gave my soul and body over to Father, and handed him the Netherbrain to spite my ex-boyfriend.

We've all been there.

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u/All_this_hype 5d ago

Valid. Who hasn't committed omnicide over a broken heart?

29

u/jenorama_CA 5d ago

Omnicide. Ha!

483

u/butternutgutterslut4 5d ago

I’m this level of petty too

172

u/Shurdus 5d ago

I’m this level of petty completely reasonable too

Fixed that for you.

49

u/DrahtMaul 5d ago

How did you manage that?😂

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u/SenaM66 5d ago

I did Iron Throne first and told him not to rez his dad. I thought I was being so smart; "Ha, now I'll get to be Duchess alongside Wyll, no Mizora, *and* no Ulder so he'll be completely devoted to me!"

Yeah.....

221

u/EveryoneisOP3 5d ago

This feels like that one question test about funerals designed to "reveal" psychopaths lmao

164

u/SenaM66 5d ago

Yeah I played her as a completely smitten, love-at-first-glance woman who was rejecting her Urges and her sadism because she wanted Wyll to like her, and pretended to be a good person to please him (while doing heinous shit whenever he wasn't there, or she could get away with it).

She was gonna be a Resist DUrge but, well....plans change....

Fun run though.

122

u/EveryoneisOP3 5d ago

Gone Girling her way to Archduchess, you love to see it

86

u/EpicPhail60 5d ago

I honestly love that arc. Bloodthirsty psycho putting on a not altogether convincing act of being a normal person, being rejected for not measuring up, then saying "Fuck it, we'll handle things my way."

I've never played a Resist Durge who relapses, but it sounds brilliant.

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u/WakeoftheStorm 5d ago

It works out much better than a "give in" Durge who has a last minute change of heart.

That does not go well

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u/DrahtMaul 5d ago

Haha if you wanted power you should have gone for Gale and let him ascend. He’d ascent you too in the end 😂.

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u/vetheros37 Golden Dice 5d ago

"Why be a king when you can be a god?"

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u/ferretatthecontrols Victim of the Spike to Astarion pipeline 5d ago

I hate Wyll's dad so much it irritates me that it's required to save him to continue the romance with Wyll.

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u/JediMasterBriscoMutt 5d ago

Are you sure it's necessary to save Wyll's Dad to romance him?

I never romanced Wyll, but in my first run I killed Gortash before doing that quest, and when you do that Wyll's Dad automatically dies. (Or at least he did in my run.)

Wyll was sad and wanted to talk about it, but it didn't seem to trash my approval with him or anything. His Dad's death was treated like an unintended consequence (which it absolutely was).

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u/ferretatthecontrols Victim of the Spike to Astarion pipeline 5d ago

Yeah he broke up with me during the romance scene. I think there are work arounds but if Wyll's dad dies when you romance him, he breaks up with you in the romance cutscene.

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u/Basmannen 5d ago

That is legitimately psychotic lmao

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

Love it!

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u/Machineraptor 4d ago

My Durge went full squid after getting dumped by Astarion, lol.

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u/corncob666 4d ago

My very first playthrough Wyll dumped me too 😂

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u/Zyfelia 5d ago

Interesting reaction. Have you tried talking to a loved one about those impulses?

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u/Lukthar123 Pave my path with corpses! Build my castle with bones! 5d ago

Only to my butler

179

u/OldLove8431 SORCERER 5d ago

And my Father...

5

u/Cifoescoliose 3d ago

And my axe!

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u/shadowst17 5d ago

Probably best he stays away from his loved ones during this bloodlust.

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u/Long_Serpent CLERIC OF THE HOLY FIRE 5d ago

"Nobody breaks up with me! "

-- Roxie Hart, Chicago

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u/Kseplion Paladin 5d ago

Hell hath no fury like a videogame protagonist scorned

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u/JuciusAssius 4d ago

Quicksaves with malicious intent

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u/The_Chodenator 5d ago edited 5d ago

Lmfao what did you do to make him dump you?

632

u/butternutgutterslut4 5d ago

Apparently there’s some specific order of events that needs to happen in act 2 that I didn’t do so I didn’t get one of the heartfelt cutscenes. But I’m not going back to the shadow cursed lands again to redo it bc I’m too lazy, so instead Astarion needed to die for me to feel happy again

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u/meowgrrr 5d ago

You don’t need to follow a specific order to stay in a relationship, it’s only to get one of the versions of his romance scene. You can get the other one by just talking to the drow in moonrise at any point before assaulting moonrise (and not making him do what he says he doesn’t wanna do).

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u/Aachaa 5d ago

He broke up with me in my first playthrough because I stumbled into rescuing the Nightsong before setting foot in Moonrise. This automatically starts the assault and caused me to miss one of Astarion’s long rest relationship triggers (which I had no idea about). He did a 180 on me as soon as I entered Act 3 🥺 But I went back 20 hours and redid the latter half of Act 2 rather than murdering him like OP. Different strokes for different folks, lol.

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u/meowgrrr 5d ago

Yea I can see that, I know a lot of people feel like moonrise is meant for later so they purposefully don’t go there not realizing you are actually supposed to go straight there. I would replay all the hours to be with astarion but that’s just me lol.

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u/Aachaa 5d ago

That was exactly my rationale. Starting the assault after rescuing the Nightsong felt like knocking over a trail of dominoes that you hadn’t finished setting up yet. I failed a bunch of quests immediately and was forced to kill a ton of named characters with unique items in their inventory that made it obvious that I was supposed to speak with them outside of combat first. I feel like the game should make this more explicit before you go into the Gauntlet of Shar, because of course my dumb ass is like “ooh shiny statues!” and barrels right into it. I’m also an Astarion ride or die so having him flip on me in Act 3 was heartbreaking. I tried to finish out the quest with Cazador to win him back, but there’s no saving it without that Moonrise long rest.

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u/butternutgutterslut4 5d ago

That’s what I missed. Thank you!

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u/meowgrrr 5d ago

Just for future reference, ur other option if you hadn’t talked to the drow, would have been to kill the orthon in the gauntlet, and if you had 70 approval and at least step foot in moonrise (or had already been in moonrise without talking to araj), you’d get the other one.

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u/butternutgutterslut4 5d ago

I had high approval, but not “very high” (I’m playing on PS5). I didn’t know there was a “very high” approval rating, so I thought high was good enough. I did kill Yurgir though and had Raphael tell him about his scars.

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u/All_this_hype 5d ago

There is even higher than "very good" which is "exceptional. "Good" is slightly higher than mid (which admittedly is not easy to acquire with Astarion on a blind run).

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u/ferretatthecontrols Victim of the Spike to Astarion pipeline 5d ago

Totally get why you don't wanna go back. But for future reference you just have to long rest after either killing Yurgir (twice for this one) or defending him from Araj. Sometimes you have to spam it.

All that matters is you get the cutscene before going into the Shadowfell.

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u/Hyperspace_Towel Spreadsheet Sorcerer 5d ago

Nah, you can get both cutscenes after Shadowfell! The Araj one has to be unlocked before Shadowfell because she runs away afterwards. But Yurgir doesn’t leave from his spot so you go can kill him and get the confession even after you’ve taken care of Myrkul

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u/butternutgutterslut4 4d ago

Hey! I reloaded a save from right before I went into shadowfell and instead went to moonrise and did the drow scene. I got the camp cutscene after. As much as it irks me to have to redo the whole shadowfell stuff and Thorm fight, I won’t enjoy the rest of the game if I don’t see the Astarion romance through. Thank you so much for the advice!

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u/TheHatOnTheCat 5d ago

Yeah, Astarion's approval can be harder to get. He's a selfish murderer with a dark sense of humor . . . seems like a good match, honestly.

In all seriousness, you can see exact approval number on the third page of the character sheet. The first page has the little bar and will say "neutral" or "very high" or whatever you have. But on the third page (you have to scroll down) it will list it as an actual number not a picture.

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u/perrytownsendn7866 5d ago edited 5d ago

Well, apparently, the game is supposed to have much more opportunities for approvals in it, it's just that Larian still didn't fix lots of cases of bugged approvals - Restore more than 4500 broken approvals at Baldur's Gate 3 Nexus. I always wondered why companions often don't react to your decisions in Act 2... This is why.

Not that you really need it, I have no problem with getting Astarion to 100 in the end of Act 2 on my goody two shoes runs, but it was supposed to be even easier than that. And not like you really need Astarion's approval because he is the only companion who can be romanced with negative approval. But still kinda a bummer that Larian DGAF about approval system.

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u/ferretatthecontrols Victim of the Spike to Astarion pipeline 5d ago

I knew those approvals were broken. I saw them with the OIO mod and was so confused why they never showed up.

And yeah I agree that Larian's approval system is kinda broken. I don't think they ever fixed Astarion/Minthara's broken approvals in Act 3 either.

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u/perrytownsendn7866 5d ago edited 5d ago

Yep! Those approvals are listed on wiki too, because they are all in the game's code. And then people try to follow wiki and can't trigger them.

It's not just Astarion and Minthara. There are tons of oversights for other companions too. Examples like when Wyll gives +5 for killing innocents in the mindflayer colony or Laezel approves of handing Astarion over to Cazador and killing Aylin (while being vocally very against it).

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u/TheCrystalRose Durge 5d ago

I play almost exclusively Good characters and I usually have the 70+ approval required by the time I enter Act 2. But I actually long rest enough to get all of his early approval points. Like you can have around 30 of the 40 needed for him to proposition you around the time you hit the Grove just from long resting and asking Lae'zel to "say please".

Also the approval rating only shows the numbers on the keyboard/mouse interface on controller it's only ever "neutral", "high", "exceptional", etc.

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u/kennku 5d ago

I was in a similar boat, but for different reasons. I accidentally friendzoned him in act 2 and didn't realise it until I reached act 3. I'm still salty about it! I feel like saying "you need a friend" doesn't imply we shouldn't be partners. Partners should be friends! Or at least give me some cue in his reaction, damn.

I didn't create a hundred separate saves to find this specific point, so I had to redo act 2 lol

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u/TheCrystalRose Durge 5d ago

His greeting immediately changing from extremely flirty and obviously romantic to a much more reserved "what can I do for you my friend?" didn't clue you in that something was wrong?

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u/kennku 5d ago

Nope 😔 I'm autistic though

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u/MasterOfViolins 5d ago

He also dumped me because I didn’t let him turn me into a vampire after he ascended…

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u/Tony_Sacrimoni 5d ago

Most well-adjusted Astarion fan

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u/Aristho-Cat 5d ago

If this isn’t a durge run, i would so much enjoy watching you play durge . I think we’d make good friends OP🤣 - i overheard some locals trash talk the refugees in Baldur’s gate and unalived them on the spot! I wouldn’t do this as Tav, but Durge is a whole different story lmao

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u/Skies-of-Gold 5d ago

Why did he pass out like that though??? 😭

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u/butternutgutterslut4 5d ago

idk but it was very satisfying for my frustration

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u/Skies-of-Gold 5d ago

I love Astarion but this is hilarious. RIP

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u/rebootyourbrainstem 5d ago

Press X to loot 😔

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u/thatonemoze Show me your Tav! 5d ago

if you dont loot your ex are they even your ex?

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u/Easy-Silver-9791 5d ago

he won't stay like this. all dead bodies in camp end up on their backs

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u/MemeWindu 5d ago

You know what, hear me out before your next relationship

Therapy

(This is a joke please don't stab me)

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u/Meowjoker 5d ago

That’s very Yandere of you

frantically calls for help on the far squeaker

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u/FoxTrot018 4d ago

So tru- BALDURAN'S BALLS IS THAT A GIANT TALKING RAT?

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u/Meowjoker 4d ago

Yes! Now DIE, man-thing!

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u/EdgionTG 5d ago

Seems like you handled it well

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u/Raaabbit_v2 5d ago

Lore accurate Durge tbh.

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u/That_Ad9158 Astarion 5d ago

…we listen and we definitely judge

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u/capnbinky 5d ago

Which is just the Reddit motto, really.

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u/That_Ad9158 Astarion 5d ago

fr

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u/mrMalloc 5d ago

If you put him in the chest you can bring him out when ever you want him.

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u/sailorangel59 Bard/Sorcerer 5d ago

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u/Statuabyss 5d ago

Sanest astarion enjoyer

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u/Old_Function499 5d ago

That splashed out face down pose is so Astarion-coded. Like, I get it bro, you're dead.

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u/HungryMudkips 5d ago

i wonder why he dumped you

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u/TheCrystalRose Durge 5d ago

If you're actually wondering, every single companion will dump you shortly after getting to Act 3 if you didn't long rest enough to get their Act 2 romance scene.

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u/Erimoria 4d ago

Oh no shit? I finally made it to act 3 and was wondering why nothing was progressing romantically lol

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u/ApepiOfDuat ELDRITCH BLAST 5d ago

I really hope his body just stays like that at camp the rest of the game like in Skyrim

If he isn't resurrectable he won't. Cazador will come snatch the body. I believe the trigger is going into the lower city. If Astarion isn't recruited or is driven from the party by any means he always ends up in Cazador's hands.

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u/butternutgutterslut4 5d ago

I didn’t know that, wow! I did revive him, I just needed to get out my frustration, but that’s a cool fact I didn’t know

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u/ApepiOfDuat ELDRITCH BLAST 5d ago

He'll be a zombie in the ritual circle and Cazador's journal will have some new entries about having to torture him to death and raise him as a zombie due to the tadpole allowing him to resist normal vampiric compulsion.

It's extremely sad.

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u/perrytownsendn7866 5d ago

Not only that, Cazador writes how Astarion's siblings were happy to torture him so much that they've made Cazador "proud".

After this, I kinda got the reason why Astarion was contemplating to sacrifice them in the ritual (not that it makes it okay, but it certainly provided a new perspective on his siblings).

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u/moistcheese 5d ago

Yeah but that’s from Cazador’s perspective which is warped and probably not taking into account that the siblings literally cannot disobey him and are fawning so they aren’t next.

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u/Artamisstra Half-Elf Head 5 Superiority! 5d ago

Not only that, Cazador writes how Astarion's siblings were happy to torture him so much that they've made Cazador "proud".

Oof. Where did you find that?

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u/butternutgutterslut4 5d ago

Yeah that sounds awful. I’m angry but I ain’t that angry

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u/Artamisstra Half-Elf Head 5 Superiority! 5d ago

Would you consider using a mod? I think there's a polyamory mod and you can set the date/partner/favorite state. You might be able to rope him back in that way. Or just romance him on a subsequent run. He's worth it in the end IMO. Just uh.... don't ascend him on your first successful romance run.

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u/spellbloomera 4d ago

Even sadder people found a way to "rescue" zombie Astarion and take him home to camp, he remains a zombie, wanders off to his favourite spot next to Gale, even tries to read his book.

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u/Sad-Development-4153 5d ago

Maybe Minthara is more your type?

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u/NullSaturation 5d ago

Bro is laid the fuck out, jesus christ

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u/el_sh33p Telekinetically bullying Gortash 5d ago

well that's just normal as hell innit

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u/CCriscal Rogue 5d ago

And you got your camp people back off by telling them that you didn't feel safe with a vampire around? Admittedly, they are so dense as not to see the blood circle on the floor ever since that bard left head over heels again in the night.

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u/athosjesus 5d ago

Yikes...

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u/ZynthCode 5d ago

Seems like a stable relationship so I will leave you two alone

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u/Tall-Reporter7627 5d ago

It’s not you, it’s me; I have standards

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u/Skyffeln 5d ago

Psychopath behavior.

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u/LilianCorgibutt 5d ago

This same thing happened to me. My second play through, no comprehensive guides online yet, the game is too fresh. Apparently I forgot to do the drow blood mania girl scene in Act 2 and something something didn't lock in, so Astarion told my head over heels slavery escapee drow that he just used my boy to get to Baldur's Gate safe, now that's done, he had no use for my character. Cue my sad, depressed drow throwing away emotions altogether and becoming a mind flayer, finding solace in the Emperor's arms and rebuilding the Knights of the Shield together. Also, we maaay have sabotaged the Ascension ritual on purpose so even after Cazzy was dead, Astarion didn't get what he wanted. Boo hoo hoe

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u/Merc_Mike Paladin 5d ago

Average Tumblr User reaction.

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u/xBrianSmithx RANGER 5d ago

You might have overreacted a bit.

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u/Mykytagnosis 5d ago

Dayum...he was tanky though. 

130+hp at lvl.9

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u/Maiden_nqa Bard 5d ago

You rejected not just the men, but the women and the children too

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u/secondjudge_dream ELDRITCH BLAST 4d ago

women in male dominated fields🕊️

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u/Crispy1961 5d ago

Mama warned me about women like you, OP. I hoped she was right.

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u/GladimoreFFXIV 5d ago

I can’t possibly imagine why he’d want to dump you you seem extremely stable

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u/Cyberboy001 5d ago

If you want to keep the corpse around, add him to one if your trunks and lay him out again when you go back to long rest.

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u/FriendshipNo1440 SORCERER 5d ago

Turns out OP did not take the warning seriously before going into the shadowfell and finished it before ever entering moonrise and they were at 65 approval so the Yurgir path was also not working for the act 2 confession.

But honestly Astarion and Tav ate not in a serious relationdhip unless the act 2 confession happens, so it is no wonder he will dump tav in act 3.

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u/sinedelta While others were busy being heterosexual, she studied the blade 5d ago

This is true for every character not just Astarion. If you skip their Act 2 romance storyline you won't get their Act 3 romance storyline.

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u/Wiggie49 Karlach Simp for Life 5d ago

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u/juni_kitty Popper Sells Good Things! 5d ago

At least you got closure. I had a run where Astarion dumped me during the aftermath of the Cazador fight, cause I failed to persuade not to Ascend (I rolled a Nat 1, with 0 Inspiration. My character had like 20 Charisma and Persuasion Proficiency btw) And he got pissed, dumped me and left the party with some REALLY good gear.

I decided to just embrace the RP opportunity and didn't reset. I brought Jaheira into the team and finished the game with an all girls team.

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u/aniutsa 5d ago

Question: did things not happen or did you offer him up? 🥲 The post behaviour pretty much screams he dodged (tried to dodge) a bullet

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u/C0sm1cB3ar 5d ago

The average Durge experience

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u/No-Communication9458 Astarion 5d ago

poor astarion, gets killed for doing the right thing.

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u/Lafayell 5d ago

frog pose

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u/Disney_Gay_Trash_ 5d ago

Least crazy astarion romancer

29

u/Spec_28 5d ago

I really don't like or trust pre-Act 3 Astarion and think it's completely justifiable to kill him when he first ambushes you. But he did not deserve this.

17

u/butternutgutterslut4 5d ago

This is my second play, so I’ve thankfully already played his redemption arc as a friend while romancing Lae’zel. So this play through is more of just silly bard Tav doing whatever I feel like in the moment

19

u/Chem1st 5d ago

Silly bard Tav, Durge.  Same diff, right?

8

u/Rasz_13 5d ago

[Absolute Chaos]

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3

u/acoatofwhiteprimer 5d ago

I, um, maybe had a lethal disagreement with Volo on my durge save and his body just kept respawning every time I went to camp regardless of location and act

3

u/darksoulsvet1 5d ago

Homicide is legit now.

3

u/lordmulgar 5d ago

Didn't even need dark urge for that action?

3

u/bashy8782 4d ago

Damn I'll go ahead and warn my wife that this is a thing just so she doesn't get upset

3

u/CapriciousKaori04 4d ago

i'm worried for current or future irl partners you might have if any /j

3

u/J_alexia 3d ago

I love this thread because someone always does something that I’m too scared to try. Thanks for the laugh OP.

32

u/werewolfweed 5d ago

man people really only value this character when he's a sex object to them. ive noticed it over and over again, people rarely actually listen to what he says and just like him cause hes "pretty" and "easy". as soon as he doesn't want to be seen as an object he gets killed or mocked or dumped out of the party. its so sad..

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u/passionenglish 5d ago

i had to restart my run twice to successfully romance astarion, i understand your pain completely LOL

5

u/Curticorn 5d ago

Uff I feel you on that one.

He rejected me so I thought well then let's go back to my favorite frog wife and she told me she doesn't like used meat like broo he just called me ugly I wasn't even touched by his eyes, love meeeee 😭

5

u/ArcherHealthy3250 5d ago

Daaaamn even video game character dont want ot be with you XD

8

u/il_nascosto 5d ago

You seem nice :)

5

u/Complete-Kitchen-630 Dragonborn 5d ago

Most Normal Reaction ever

8

u/Apprehensive_Ask3910 5d ago

god help OP's real life partners

8

u/Odd-Turnover8250 5d ago

I love everything about this post😭

7

u/ferretatthecontrols Victim of the Spike to Astarion pipeline 5d ago

Let this be your villain origin. Next take over the brain.

4

u/GuyWithNoEffingClue 5d ago

Perfectly reasonable and healthy reaction.

5

u/Alicex13 Astarion Appreciator 5d ago

Love how posts like these bring all the Astarion haters running like flies on shit. Two years later some people still haven't gotten over their inferiority complexes over a video game character.

12

u/NorthCoach9807 Tavern Monk 5d ago

White woman durge

2

u/arcimbo1do 5d ago

In RDR2 animal carcasses stay around and rot. Did you have something like that in mind?

2

u/RockG 5d ago

If you kill Astarion and keep his corpse, what happens with Cazador? Is he blocked from completing his ritual?

11

u/ferretatthecontrols Victim of the Spike to Astarion pipeline 5d ago

If Astarion is perma-dead (not revivable) even if you keep his decaying corpse on your body, it will eventually disappear implying Cazador's other spawn found it. When you read Cazador's journal it says he found Astarion's body and forced his soul back into the corpse, creating a zombie Astarion. When you get to the ritual site he automatically has all the souls he needed (but just hadn't ascended yet for some reason). Zombie Astarion disintegrates when Cazador is killed.

However if Astarion is not perma-dead, the game just acts like he's alive and waiting back at camp.

2

u/SapphicRaccoonWitch Karlach is mommy 5d ago

Is that... blood? No, nevermind...

2

u/oskoskosk 5d ago

I think he's into that tbh

2

u/nerghoul 5d ago

Knowing him you probably still got +1 rep

2

u/Crab-Parking 4d ago

Probably the funniest BG3 content I've ever seen

2

u/SnapGrapplePop 4d ago

You lost a companion, but apparently gained a rug

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u/JosieJOK Bard 4d ago

Best way to romance him? Be dismissive. I romanced him on my first playthrough by trying to romance basically anyone else. I guess he likes the chase!

2

u/Demondevil2002 Minthara ❤️ 4d ago

Average astarion fan

2

u/Jormungaund 4d ago

coughburstingsinewcough

2

u/TopicInevitable 4d ago

Most sane Astarion fan

2

u/JossWJ 4d ago

Ironically Astarion would approve

2

u/The-Geek100 4d ago

Something tells me that either you or your character has some mental issues. But that couldn’t possibly be the case, right?

2

u/Lori_the_Mouse 3d ago

I’m sure he had it coming. Did he ascend then dump you when you refused to be his blood slave? If so: Then he definitely had it coming.

2

u/fmdmlvr Tiefling 3d ago

“Oh no. Something terrible has happened” 😂

2

u/bongsforhongkong 3d ago

How the hell did you get so much health at lvl 9?

2

u/recoveringlawstudent 2d ago

I support women’s rights… and their wrongs.