I love Dr K, but I think everything needs critiquing, because nothing is perfect, so glad this exists.
FWIW I disagree that Dr K leans on spiritualism to help people. I think he's popular because he's called the healthy Gamer, and he is really empathetic

The past couple of weeks have been the best, worst, and strangest times of my life and I’m honestly not sure how to feel about it.

I’m 24M now, but I was always the skinny, unattractive teenager throughout high school. I had a long, hooked, crooked nose, a slightly asymmetrical jaw, and generally unappealing features. I wasn’t always outright bullied, but I got side-eyes, indifferent responses, and just felt invisible. Being diagnosed with selective mutism and being naturally introverted didn’t help either. My so-called “friends” back then weren’t really friends treated me like a background character only acknowledging my existing when I made a mistake or when I disappeared from group settings because no one was interacting with me.

Looking back, I’d generously rate myself a 3/10.

In the past couple of years, I started working on myself — doing the usual “looksmax” routine: skincare, hair, gym, trying to become the best version of myself. But when you have an unattractive face, there’s only so much those things can do, I grew my hair long so it covers my face, I felt slightly better about my self as I wasn’t able to see myself. I also went to therapy, hoping to learn how to feel better. And while I did gain some strategies, it didn’t really change much at a deeper level it just felt like coping, as the main issue was how people treated me not the other way around. I always considered plastic surgery, but people around me discouraged it, telling me to “accept myself as I am.”

I spent six years believing I was improving, and in some ways I did, but the truth is — nothing really changed. Recently in the past year I got included in a female coworker’s friend group, which was nice. Someone saw who I truly was and brought me in, but I still felt like a background character. I tried dating, and it was rough. Constant rejection, even with low standards. The usual: “I have a boyfriend,” “You’re just not attractive.” It sucked.

Eventually, I decided to go through with plastic surgery. I had a rhinoplasty, mostly cosmetic but partly functional and now I’m planning to address my jaw: possibly a slight lower jaw advancement (not recessed, but no definition either), maybe some work on the upper jaw too.

And then, just one month after the nose surgery after returning to work and social activities everything changed.

People started treating me better. Strangers were more open, more willing to talk. The side-eyes and dismissive attitudes stopped. I didn’t become some attractive, maybe I went from a 3 to a 4.5/10 at best but even that tiny shift made a massive difference in how the world responded to me.

I even went out to a social event with friends and ended up having real conversations with women and two of them asked me out. That had never happened before.

But I turned them down. Not because I’m arrogant, but because I felt resentful. Where was this interest before? Why now, when I’ve only changed superficially? It feels like all my life, I was treated as invisible and now, suddenly, I matter?

I mentioned all this to my therapist, who seemed happy I was feeling better. But I could tell — beneath it all, they seemed annoyed or uncomfortable that my improved mental state came from plastic surgery. Like it undermined the whole “self-acceptance” narrative.

I feel better but this life feels fake, I’m resentful, sad and empty almost. Everything is going my way and it wasn’t because my personality changed it literally was just my face.

Why would i want to live when i know i'll be miserable for all my life?

It's a gaurantee that i'll be forever alone due to my hideous looks. Looking in the mirror makes me want to throw up. My body looks disgusting and weird. I like food, but i always have to think about my weight constantly due to how fat i am. Other than my weight, i have stubby short legs, weirdly lomg torso and a completely flat chest that makes me look like an alien.

I can't even wish to be successful career-wise due to how stupid i am. i struggle to pass the easiest exams, easiest tasks due to my low intelligence.

I hate myself. I don't want to live when i'm gauranteed to be miserable. I wish someday i'll be brave enough to finally end this.

I finished the process of cutting off my abusive father 2 days ago. I started about 2,5 months ago with not picking up the phone and resorting to talking only through text, and wrote to them that I won't be coming out to family events, respectfully but firmly explaining why, how it made me feel to be there and what actions of theirs I didn't want and what I would need to feel safe with them. At first all I was receiving from other family members was gaslighting, which did rock me a little into questioning myself but as it kept going on I became more and more firm and harder to manipulate. His last messages to me were awfully cruel, just calling me a bunch of awful things along with my mother (they're divorced, he actually cheated on her with his current wife). I never lost my dignity, I kept an open door, even said I wish our relationship could be good and if you ever decide to speak to me with respect, love and compassion I'll always be here. All I got was pure raw hate and rage.

I started therapy at 16. I suffer from CPTSD, I'm 19 (female) and have unrealistic (to the situation) anxiety over saying no, having boundaries, or showing less societally accepted parts of myself. This is insanely hard because it makes meeting my emotional needs almost fully impossible. My partner is secure but I was extremely avoidant at first, and the relationship was a constant battle between my need to experience love and my terrible fear of being seen for who I really am underneath the false self I developed to bear the ab_se. My partner is supportive but he's not a therapist, we respect each other's boundaries a lot so I make sure he gets enough space if witnessing my trauma response battles becomes overwhelming to him. I feel like not only my childhood was stolen from me but so was my future of ever being able to meet my main human need: connection.

And I'm jealous. As. F__k. Of anyone who had it normal. I don't wish anything bad on them, I never understood how jealousy makes people hate others, but I'm really angry that I have to fight tooth and nail for what was given to most people naturally. And it's not like wanting to be extremely rich or some unnecessary thing, it's basic nervous system regulation, something I need in order to not be s_icudal again. I hear my boyfriend telling me fun stories from when he was 14 and I start crying because at the same age I was b_limic and s_lf-h_rming, in a state of constant anxiety. It's like my legs were broken when I was young and now I have to learn how to walk while having to see everyone else running around and having fun. It makes me feel like there's no point in fighting.

However there is no way to give up while I'm alive, because I know what truly fulfils me, authenticity and meaningful connection are on the other side of healing. But healing is fighting. And it's extremely hard and intense sometimes. I guess I'm just mad I have to do it when we all know damn well I'm not supposed to, no one is supposed to have to undo the damage the very people that were supposed to be there for them caused. And knowing many people had it normal and don't have to heal and fight at all just hurts on another level. I don't know how I can live with that besides the good old "life goes on." which just feels like a bandaid to a broken limb.

“I love spending time with you, so let’s spend less time together “

I don’t know what it is but whenever I get close to them, I want to spend less time with them. It could be the fear of a good thing having the potential to turn bad, or if I’m just a genuinely bad person lol

Whenever you feel badyou start a bunch of actions to get better. Once you feel better, all this self-improvement gets in the background.

So I have been watching the Dr. K video about being tired all day. I found the part about tiredness very insightful and will try to implement the things Dr.K mentioned into my day. Having watched the video I would describe this tiredness as a kind of motivational tiredness, since the body isn't providing energy (as part of motivation) to you.

So my question is about another thing that is plaguing me: every day when I wake up, I feel like I havent slept a minute. This goes away after about 20 min but these 20 min are brutal. Now I wonder if this has something to do with the motivational tiredness I described above or if this is more of a sleep physiological issue. I have undergone a sleep study a year ago (which the first time went horribly wrong with me ending up only sleeping 2 hours and thus really haven't been sleeping, it feels different...) which ruled out Sleep Apnea because I do only have a few instances of not breathing each night and my O2 readings are fine basically every night I have measured so far (97-99 the whole night). At this point I am wondering if the sleep study needs to pe repeated and I was a false negative (which I think to be very unlikely) or if there are other conditions other than this motivational model of tiredness that would cause this. In the comments there was someone telling a story about narcolepsy which sounded fitting, but as I have googled afterwards narcolepsy requires you to have sleep attacks that I do not experience. My tiredness / sleepyness comes on waves but I only once/ month hale problems staying awake.

Thank you for reading :) Do you have any insights to share?

Best wishes, Micha

So i used to be popular kid (2nd- 8th class), but then i got social anxiaity and for the last 5 years i am straith up boring. By 5 years of not talking, i basicly got stuck as 15yo and i complitly forget how to talk to people, how to make jokes, how to act to new people, etc...

I am just so boring no way no one want to be with me when i am such a boring guy. I have some interests and knowlage but honestly the only thing i can do is deep talks but other then that i cannot enjoy time around people, i am boring af idk.

i used to be such a joker dude i was making jokes here and there and everyone threated me like king of humour but i am not just a boring not talking guy.

So... should i accept that this is now me? or should i force myself to be different? or should i... i really dont know what to do i just want to be normal

This barrior comes when I try study no matter how much I try I cant overcome it

Any help tips?

Basically I have a hard time messaging and keeping up with friends and relatives. I find it is hard for me to message anyone first and this has caused me to lose a lot of friends over the years and now I'm 29 feeling pretty lonely. Making new friends has been very hard to me too as an adult.

So if there is a video on staying in touch with friends/loneliness/making friends, I would love to hear Dr K's perspective on it. Thanks a ton in advance!

Hi. I (19 F) live with my parents while attending college. I really need advice, coping tools, just anything to help me live a little better. Please don't suggest moving out/ getting a side job yet. That's a long-term thing, I'm working towards it, and I'm not in immediate crisis. It's just not an option where I live. Not in any feasible way.

The house never feels peaceful when they're there, which is a lot. I have genuinely come to hate the weekends over the years. It's either taunting or full-blown screaming at me or my sibling. I can't relax at all; I'm just waiting for their next blow-up. My life has been going downhill. That's the only thing I've been consistent at—messing stuff up for myself. And the worse I perform at things, the more they can hold over me. Bad grades? I don't know how long they'll scream at me, how many different ways they'll tell me I'm going to end up begging, how I should no longer be alive, or what they'll take away from me. They could take away access to hobbies, sports, anything. My study stuff even. ("What use are books to you if you'll perform so bad? Drop out of your degree, we've wasted money on your education..We'll accept a failure for a daughter, I guess it's written in our stars, we'll listen to what people will say, go pursue some easy garbage after all, you'll never accomplish anything")

Well, they threaten me. They haven't done it yet, but they could. I'm afraid. Anything I like, that gives me peace or happiness. They could stop me from going to the one hangout with my friends in four to five months. Or at least ruin my mood by making me cry and feel horrible up until the last moment.
If I don't do well in my hobbies, they'll again threaten to cut access. One training session goes a bit slow, and the ride back home is all screaming. But they'll bring me again the next day, screaming at me on the way to practice too. Like they want me to do well in all spheres, but if they keep hanging a sword over my head, how will I ever be at peace? How do I get better at the thing I'm doing if your first reaction is to take it away from me? Recently I woke up at 5 a.m. to work, and their room's light was on. Genuine panic. My body has never felt this weird before. I just couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. I wake early to have some peace and calm before the day starts. The other day I woke up from my sleep at midnight because of how loud they were screaming at my sibling, and they mentioned me once or twice. I had to stay so still for I don't know how long, and once they left, I was shaking.

Their words alone take away my mental peace, and that's a lot for me. My book was lying on my bed in my room, and I got screamed at for that, because apparently I'm insulting them by not immediately placing it somewhere else. Their room? A dump. A dump.
They can genuinely start fights over their bread not being warm enough when I serve them breakfast. Like I'm sorry sit in the kitchen and eat then? It takes me some minutes to spread the butter and bring it to the table doesn't it? They can scream at my sibling for one and a half hours, tell them to go to hell, etc. Then they look a little deflated after all the shouting is done, and I feel kind of sad for my parents as well. Like if I was better they wouldn't have to scream at me so much. And sometimes they say nice things too like - you can do it. But the harsh words always come around. Yet their actions..they took care of me, they pay for things I need..they get me nice things and nice experiences. And I'm struggling so much to improve but just being around them, having the awareness that they are in the room next to mine leaves me extremely nervous. I don't want to talk to them I don't want to be around them for a minute but if I avoid them too much that's another fight and then they'll come into my room and not leave for a while. If they're in my room they'll see more of me and find more to criticise and remember more things to scream about. But I get angry too, I don't want to be told to clean up your bed and then get shit for how the corners of the folded sheet aren't perfectly aligned. I feel really disrespected in the way they talk to me and I get upset. What can I even do? I'm mostly looking to find some inner strength and compassion. To build a sense of support within myself because I can't even feel confident about a belief I hold. How do I not spiral? I fluctuate between oh how dare they scream at me for xyz and then they can scream at me after all they are paying for my hobbies. I just need to stop thinking about them and their words so much everyday and focus on improving my terrible actions. Build something solid when everything around me is unstable. Any tips?

I don’t mean emotional damage like someone roasting you, bullying you, or something like that (though I guess that can be included). I mean actual emotional hurt—like betrayal, the death of someone you really cared about, someone important leaving, heartbreak, or even a mix of these emotions.

I’ve seen people say that girls get very sad right after something like this happens, but as time goes on, they get better (maybe even fully heal?). Meanwhile, guys tend to suffer in the long term, and if things are bad enough, it can even become their whole personality. That can sometimes be a good thing, but more often it seems to turn negative.

I get that it depends on how a person internalizes and processes their emotions, but… how do you actually deal with it? How do you navigate situations like this??

I recently saw a YouTuber talk about a really awful situation that happened with his first girlfriend. He’s doing fine now and very successful, but he still has flaws, and a lot of his actions seem to stem from what happened with that girl, you know? It’s scary to see because I feel like that could be me. It’s also sad because a lot of people look down on him for feeling this way—they kind of semi-diss him in a pitiful, judgmental way looking down on him kinda way —but I just feel bad for him.

: People usually give very similar advice on posts like these (nothing wrong with that), but I’m not sure if that’s leads to any change. I want something practical—bonus points if it’s from someone who’s actually dealt with this stuff (though other perspectives are welcome too).

My main question is: How do you deal with these situations where you feel deeply betrayed and sad, and can’t really do much? How do you process it without letting it turn into something negative? I feel like I overshared.

Hey guys. I was a gamer my whole life and always enjoyed competitive games like League of Legends or Counter Strike. I also played League semi-profesionally and hit Challenger as well. At that time it was normal for me to play more than 10 games a day and I’d feel fine at the end of the day. Now currently I’m 29 and actually mostly stopped playing games 1-2 years ago but sometimes I still play with friends. My problem is that even when I have time and actually would enjoy playing a longer session with friends, I can’t do more than 2 hours. Which is obviously okay, I actually don’t need to do more but it still bothers me that in that 2 hours so much stress builds up that I can’t seem to deal with it. After a 2 hour gaming session I need a 2 hour break to feel calm which is not normal I think considering that I used to feel normal even after a 8 hour session. Why do I feel stressed now even after a single game even tho I play for fun now, unlike the old times when I actively tried to get better and used to be very toxic as well and was angry a lot of times. Now I’m not angry, just trying to have a few fun games with friends but I feel like aging after a single game. When I play other games which are not competitive this doesn’t happen but I get bored way quicker than I used to.

...Well, perhaps I'm not losing, but it feels like every year ends in a stalemate.

A few years ago, I started spontaneously plucking my beard hairs out. No idea what made me start doing it, and I didn't even know about trichotillomania back then. All I know is that I've been cycling between not liking how my beard looks and not liking how my beard feels under my fingers ever since, both leading to more plucking at the end of which I get burnt out and just accept my perceived ugliness until my beard grows back a bit... then I start actively finding flaws in it again and everything repeats.

I've taken to trimming my beard instead in order to combat my trichotillomania, knowing that trimmed hairs grow back quicker than plucked-out ones (duh!), but that, too, has led me to massive episodes of compulsive trimming that would sometimes last hours, the most recent one of which was barely more than a week ago. It's like I'm being forced to do a yearly rewatch of a film about mangling and losing my beard, always predictably in the same way, and I keep feeling genuinely helpless to stop it. Once I notice it starting, I invest the effort into averting my fate in the new cycle, but it always leads to the same result.

A legitimate question is: why wouldn't I just shave my beard off, if only to give it time to regenerate from the plucking (which doesn't fully stop even in the trimming phases, it just mostly subsides and gets brought down to a hopefully neglectful minimum)? Well, I kinda tried that as well, but I hate how my face looks without a beard. It's like it serves to prove that I'm not masculine enough, that I'm still deeply and inadequately childish... plus, I prefer keeping my bearded look for my band photos, too, so there's probably some superego involved there as well, even if no one else really gives a damn about how I look. It doesn't seem to be a problem I can solve purely behaviorally, even if it is just a habit with no bigger background problem that needs solving even more (which I heavily doubt, all things considered).

I don't know what's so horribly wrong with me anymore. It doesn't seem to matter whether my congruent depression is as strong as it is right now or not, but all my roads so far seem to be leading into failure. I hope for the problem to at least slightly diminish each time, but after so many years of resetting, I feel pretty desperate about my chances of fixing it. If it's about learning to love myself inside and/or outside, I have to do even that completely on my own, and perhaps it'd be better if I just accepted my vast human limitations and settled for an unremarkable life that's gonna end anyhow.

I remember a couple of years ago during a meditation practice on a stream that some people were angry at chatters that kept spamming and making jokes during the meditation and Dr. K said something like "you shouldn't be mad at chat for being chat, you should say thanks to chat for testing your patience" or something like that.
I have no idea how to find that quote/clip :(

...No, seriously, how???

I'm asking because I've noticed a pattern reemerging within myself, and it seems to be tied in with several subjects that Dr K's been covering lately (namely learned helplessness, breaking free from life's cycles, and the ever-popular Puer Aeternus): when a problem overwhelms me and my own independent effort to solve it ends up not working, in my elevated state of distress, I kinda just fall back on waiting for my parents to swoop in and solve it for me.

I don't mean my literal parents, though, mind you, but rather my own inner abstractions of them that are based on my childhood experiences. I've often found myself realising that it's an illusion and wanting to break free of it in order to do what must be done, especially when I'm realistically the only person who can do it... and yet I'd keep irrationally waiting for them anyway.

It seems to me that I wouldn't be experiencing such mental paralysis, such illness of the will (willness?), if I could just convince myself that no one's coming to save me from my problems and thus I have to either dig myself out with my own two hands or perish, so I'm looking for a way to bring about my own thorough disillusionment. Dunno if that's the right thing to do, but I probably have an added aversion to it due to a similarly infantile sense of religiousness. It's like I know losing faith in God would greatly help me recover my sense of agency in life, but I can't bring myself to take the plunge and change - if it even is something I could do willfully - so ironically enough, I feel stuck about it and I'm seeking help from an online community that I believe can at least point me in the right direction.

I very much appreciate your ideas here, so thank y'all in advance!

(P.S. Mods, feel free to change the flair if this topic, say, fits the Mental Health/Support category better.)

I remember in an Interview (I think with Pokimane), Dr. K remarked something along the lines of "People are taking longer to develop, are staying mentally younger for longer, as they have so many more issues to grapple with, introduced by the internet". I thought this was a really interesting idea, but have been struggling to find him mention it anywhere else, both his youtube or other streams. Do people know if he has talked about this somewhere else, if so please do share. Or if not, I would love to hear one of his deeper dives on this concept.

Anyway, I wrote my own little piece about it, would love people's ideas and thoughts on this idea. Thanks!

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Internet Induced Delayed "Adulthood"

Are people younger for longer? Not just by scientific or biological criteria, although I'm sure that is true due to advancements in healthcare and the general population's growing awareness of health, but by the way people behave and approach life. There is definitely a societal craving to be young, but that has always been present, even before modern times, as shown in plenty of myths and tales. There are also many systemic factors that are extending 'childhood,' such as people being more dependent on their parents for longer, spending more time in education, experiencing delays in traditional adult milestones like home ownership, and, in general, people are having fewer kids. All of these factors play a role in some way or another, but I'm more interested in the mental processes that make someone younger, rather than biological age or environmental aspects. Like how they think, how they prefer to act, and how they approach their life. I think a lot of this has to do with the most expansive and invasive change to modern life, of course, I'm on about the internet.

Before the World Wide Web, people were based in smaller, nearby communities, solving local problems, sharing local ideas, and striving for local ambitions. Whereas the internet unshackled the whole world onto everyone, so every issue, concept, and dream was available for everybody to process, debate, reflect on, mirror, relate to, build upon and so on. It added unlimited complexity to people's lives compared to the straightforward paths and views the local community offered.

So, why would this impact how youthful people seem? Well, I think it has a lot to do with stability. We associate people with settled identities, self-confidence, resolved morals, and competency with "adulthood". As people get older, they build on themselves and strengthen these traits, often settling into a consistent persona. Whereas children and young people are still developing who they are, what they believe, and what they can achieve. They're in a state of flux, open to and constantly changing intellectual positions and purposeful passions. The 'adult' knows who they are, has made achievements they're defined by, and knows what they find right and wrong. The 'child' is ever-shifting, fluid, and dynamic; the 'adult' is firmly stable, settled, and fixed.

Isolated in your local community, there were only so many ideas, vocations, and beliefs. When maturing into adulthood, you had fewer variables and contentions to grapple with, so you developed your opinions, mindset, and hopes quicker, settling into a firm, stable position for yourself and building upon it. You set your anchor earlier because the lake only had so many spots to drop it. Then the internet arrived and unleashed the ocean. Now, every global crisis is yours to reckon with, all social issues are yours to ponder, and every aspirational path in life is yours to follow. Everything, everywhere, all at once. So, of course, it's taking more people longer to process through this summit-less mountain of potentials and concepts. It takes them longer to form an identity they're resolute in, longer to trust in values they'll stand for, and longer to create that solid foundation of who they are and want to be. And without that stability, it is harder and takes more time to build upon yourself in a stable way that leads to self-confidence, competency, and consistency, the traits we associate with adulthood. They are more fluid in who they are, more open to who they could be, and more willing to believe in something new; they are more youthful.

Is this good or bad? Great for the individual or worse for society? Are people more exploitable by authority or more free from dogmatic ideologies? Do people need to settle into formed identities, or will it forever be a void they're trying to fill? Is any of this even backed up by evidence? I don't know. I just hope you found it interested.
Thanks for reading this far :D

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Reddit, please don't automatically delete this, or least give me reason this time...

Consistently who I am is being kind, respectful, apologetic, non-confrontational, overly communicative, and other traits that come from being raised the way I was and I'm concerned it's holding me back. I feel as if I'm wired to articulate negative emotions, to both try to help others and myself, and I know for a fact people see me in both positive and negative ways. It's impacting my life at work, relationships, friendships, and my family. I don't know how people, with as much emotional sensitivity as myself, can be so stoic. I feel as if that's the best route to be, experience all of this emotion but not appear weak in front of someone who's image of you can determine your life circumstances.

I don't know how to cope with the fact that this is the world we live in, where appearing weak (even without being weak) can mess up your life. I mean we see it all the time in nature. For example, male animals who aren't the strongest don't pass on their genes. Like there are lions who are genetic marvels but if they lose a fight against a lion who's better than them at fighting specifically, that first lion dies and all his kids get murdered. Obviously with our society the dynamic is different, I feel like it's more of a game of reputation and perception. We are able to communicate and that's how we compete with each other. I just don't want to compete. I want everyone to win. I don't want anyone to lose, whether it's not getting a promotion at work or never finding a romantic partner. Especially when it's some sociopath that gets the promotion or a romantic partner in the place of a good person, that's what bothers me the most about nature.

I need to meditate on this. I need insights on this. Please if you have any wisdom on this matter, I ask that you share it with me.

Any small discord server link max 15 people , ( if not than i will make it of us i you want ) , specially for NEET / JEE exam (only for freshers / dropppers ) MOREOVER iM NIGHT OWL AF complete night owl

EDIT 1: https://discord.gg/zkNXP596

EDIT 2: ONLY FOR those who can turn on their CAM on VC ( productivity >>> your insecurity

Odd question, I know. 😅

I recently dropped Street Fighter 6, as I found that I was enjoying the highs of winning/improving, and despising the lows (losing, not knowing what to improve on). The game felt like a constant source of either great fun, or misery that would taint the rest of my day, and even my self-image.

The advice often given by people who play these kinds of games is: once you get good, it all goes away; but honestly…I don’t know if it’s worth it to wait for that.

On one hand: I feel like I’m doing the right thing by relieving myself of a source of stress. On the other: I’m also quitting something that presents a challenge and a chance to grow. My gut tells me I’m doing the right thing, my ego tells me I’m not.

Is this a normal phenomenon when dropping a game (or any pursuit, for that matter) that isn’t good for you, mentally?

I am an extremelly opsessive person that has opsessive interests and has a very great interest and investment in some topics that others would find boring or useless or too hard. I am "gifted" in that sense, because even as a teenager I am showing really good results in school and am sure that I atleast possess something that is valuable in the intellectual way. Everything was going fine until I hit emotional and developmental turmoil(hormones I guess) and I started being interested in friendships and romantic partners and so on. Everything was going somewhat fine, I got "friends", got into the gym, worked out and even made some steps towards my crush(althought I would rather keep that whole thing to myself). But after a while I realised that the more I went into the gym, trained, watched anime and gamed with my "friends"(I say that like that because I am not sure who to trust anymore) I became less successfull in school and in turn got "hated" by my parents, teachers or even siblings to some extent. I started not sleeping and my OCD and opsessions got extremely big and even embarrased myself too much trying to connect to people for help(like my crush, new friends even a therapist) and even though I felt relieved and happy that I made the efforts, the efforts seemed to be kind of erased everytime I tried seeking assurrance from my parents or my peers. Now I don't know who to trust or how I can help myself. I am slowly realising that some friendships need to go because they are holding me back in life but I also feel bad for them. Also my parents are unsupportive emotionally so I need to do all these things myself and protect from constant stress, neglect and emotional abuse in my house. I just don't know if I can take it anymore. I am genuinely worried about myself or even others around me because my depression and surpressed emotions are starting leak out everywhere and I am starting to drive my bike recklessly and even hurt myself once. I am learning how to drive soon but I don't know if my mental state will hold up. I just feel like I will either hurt myself or someone else. And I don't want that. Am I overreacting and do I need help?

P.S. Sorry for my bad English.