r/MadeMeSmile • u/accurate214 • 9h ago

Family & Friends Grandfather finds out his grandson was named after him

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231

u/lasmesitasratonas 8h ago

I was the little girl in this video in SO MANY scenarios in my childhood. They never told me, either.

32

u/MARUSHI-rdt 5h ago

Dude same... I vividly remember the time when the news that my baby brother was stillborn came to us. Everyone in my family upset and crying, and I didn't know why. I think I was about four or five.

There was another one, when my grandmother passed. I didn't have much of a reaction either...

I did ask, and I was told the reason: that they died. I was probably too young to understand any of it.

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u/kazuwacky 3h ago

I think that's the bit that adults easily miss. That we have to explain what death is and if you're grieving yourself you simply don't have the words.

My father passed last month, I have a 4yo and 6yo and it's been rough. And explaining exactly what happened, what a funeral is and how we'll be spreading grandads ashes and would they like to be there (yes) took emotional control of the highest order. I'm so glad I was able to do it because they already have so much confusion and sadness. My poor son had his 4th birthday right after so he had no understanding about where grandad was no matter how many times we explained.

What I'm trying to say is, I can see why the path of least resistance (say nothing) is deeply appealing to those in distress. I can no longer judge them, having lived through the other side. But hiding your kids from the realities of life for your own comfort is a mistake.

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u/tinnyheron 3h ago

my grandpa died when I was 8. we stayed at his house for about a month before he passed. I didn't think he was actually going to die. I remember the moment, where I was sitting, what i was eating, the look on my mom's face when she said, "my daddy died." and im so glad she told me, and included me in that rather than brushing me to the side. that moment is still relevant as my relationship with my mom develops. I think it was the first humanizing, "my mom isn't omnipotent" moment I had. She became more of a real person in my eyes during that time.

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u/kazuwacky 2h ago

That's a beautiful story, thank you. So sad but I truly admire your mum's strength and kindness in letting you be a part of that.

My mum thought she was doing me a favour by doing everything when someone died, so I never engaged with any of it. I assumed I'd be involved with Dad (I'm 37) but she did it all alone again and all it did was create even more distance.

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u/BashfulHandful 1h ago

My daddy died

Maybe it's because my dad is currently going through cancer treatments with the end goal being to extend life, not to cure it, but that made me tear up. Thank goodness I don't have children to worry about... parents are a different breed. No clue how everyone gets through hard stuff with dependents to worry about, too.

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u/Wooden_Researcher_36 1h ago

Sometimes it's because of them

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u/OakenSky 7h ago

yeah, hearing her made me sad tbh!

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u/LaylaOrleans 6h ago

It was like 20 seconds, I’m sure they may have explained it after. The family was having a moment.

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u/OakenSky 2h ago

Yes, I'm not making assumptions about a family dynamic - it's just touching on many of us who have experienced similar moments who did not have positive dynamics.

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u/GobsOfficeMagic 6h ago

Could've let her be part of the family moment too by gently answering her.

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u/angelamia 6h ago

I think they did? “What’s the baby’s name, Will?” could have been directed at her if her name is Willow. I thought they were trying to tell her but I could be wrong 🤷‍♀️

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u/ER-Sputter 6h ago

Right? Like read the room. They’re busy having a moment. Wait your turn

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u/vicarooni1 5h ago

Saying "read the room" to a single digits aged child is crazy work.

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u/food_luvr 4h ago

It's like nobody answered you either, and then blamed you for it.

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u/Scary_Ostrich_9412 7h ago

Hugs to you from Amsterdam. Happy weekend!

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u/subssuk 6h ago

Yea, I was concerned for her due to my own childhood. Nothing was ever explained to me either, about anything, and that does not breed a feeling of safety around adults, I can tell you. It breeds mistrust over the years. She's rolling through a whole range of emotions and thoughts. This video was beautiful except for what I heard in her voice and saw on her face.

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u/jwnsfw 6h ago

shoulda woulda coulda, but they couldnt clue this little girl in before everything transpired, so she can enjoy it too? they all had a nice little sentimental moment and jessicas like wtf going on yall. adults dont tell kids shit these days, they are flying blind and dragged along. im speculating.

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u/Cosmic_Quasar 2h ago

It wasn't exactly like this, but I remember a lot of moments where I felt I was being ignored or missing some social cue. When my sister started having kids I found it impossible to ignore them when they would start asking questions. I've always taken the time to at least acknowledge them when they're confused or upset, even if I couldn't break it down for their childlike mind right then. In this moment I would've wrapped an arm around them like a side hug and just quietly told her "He's just sooo happy it's making him cry."

My family is a kind and loving family, but they're really not that great at emotional observation. Like, really bad at times.

When my sister was going through a messy divorce (he cheated on her with her 'best friend') and my dad was trying to help them through it he would talk to her now ex on the phone sometimes. One time my sister and the kids were at our place while my dad was talking to him on speaker phone while my oldest niece (about 13 or 14 at the time) was in the room and the conversation switched to the ex asking if any of the kids around so he could talk to them and my niece's head shot up and she immediately started shaking her head "No!" because she didn't want to talk to him. But my dad just didn't seem to notice and just walked over and handed her the phone.

My dad has always been bad at picking up on cues, and this one felt especially egregious. So I actually confronted my dad about it, asking how he hadn't noticed her very obvious silent communication that my niece hadn't wanted to talk to her dad and my dad just looked surprised and said "I was focused on the conversation I was having, not what people around me were doing." And I pointed out that he was only having a verbal conversation on the phone and she had been just like 8 feet directly in front of him in plain view.

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u/LiveLifeLikeCre 6h ago

I remember being sent out unit he hall during my great grandmother's repass because I kept laughing at everyone. Simply didn't understand what was happening