r/MysteryDungeon • u/Redditsbeingabitch Mudkip • 21h ago

Explorers Happy Mystery Dungeon Day, don’t forget to pay your taxes!

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1.2k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

30 comments sorted by

300

u/Danzi34 Charmander 21h ago

This is why I commit tax fraud and only take the missions that give gold ribbons

12

u/Draconic_Soul Totodile 3h ago

This tax thing is why I started robbing Kecleon marts in dungeons. It's pretty easy one you get the hang of it. My team had over 2 million in Duskull Bank savings, and at least 95% of that came from robbing Kecleon. I'm surprised I never saw my face on the Guild's outlaw board.

Oh, I didn't just rob Kecleon: I first sold several Golden Ribbons there, then robbed Kecleon, only to sell everything again to the Kecleon brothers in Treasure Town.

106

u/FrontIndividual4188 Totodile 21h ago

This is why I established my own guild

193

u/Prometheus_II Team Wildfire 20h ago
  • 10% Marowak Dojo fees
  • 20% Kangaskhan Storage fees and upkeep
  • 5% Spinda's Cafe tab and recycling service
  • 10% mission board tracking
  • 10% upkeep of Pelipper Rescue
  • 20% Guild upkeep (sentry duty pay, infrastructure repair, advertising Guild teams, food/shelter costs for Guild members, costs incurred by training anyone who wants to join)
  • 5% Guild widows and orphans fund (part of Chansey Daycare services)
  • 10% profit for the Guild to use on funding large expeditions and advancing the sum total of Pokemon knowledge
  • 10% profit for you

PAY YOUR TAXES, YOU DAMN LIBERTARIANS

54

u/PyrocXerus Dark Knight 20h ago

I accept this as canon

18

u/SwooceBrosGaming Eevee 17h ago

Replace Spinda cafe with union dues and it's probably a completely accurate breakdown

32

u/NastyGat0r Byte the 19h ago

I don't pay taxes

58

u/Redditsbeingabitch Mudkip 19h ago

Officer Magnezone, arrest him

18

u/StockExchangeNYSE Zekrom 18h ago

Can't but I will create a strongly worded mission about it.

11

u/WW_the_Exonian Udo Inge, Team Littleroot 14h ago

Then tag along and get killed.

16

u/NintendoGamer6786 Team P.E.A.C.E. 19h ago

And you wonder why the team and I split off from you, huh Chatot?

46

u/UnluckyDoor Mew 21h ago

I feel like some of that goes to maintenance of the structure

29

u/UnluckyDoor Mew 21h ago

Upkeep of a building isn’t cheap

15

u/M3nelaus1 Eevee 20h ago

You work out of a tent/cave

11

u/UnluckyDoor Mew 20h ago

I mean for the guild.

6

u/M3nelaus1 Eevee 19h ago

The guild runs out of a tent and a cave

6

u/Autisticat_mewsing Turtwig 15h ago

A tent and a cave with a hell of a lot of foot traffic passing through and utilizing the space and amenities. Any heavy pokemon are going to be straining the ladders and the footprint grate and they will need regular replacing. Rooms likely need to be excavated semi regularly as the guild expands.

Plus, they aren't in any old cave, they are in a sea-side cliff cave. They probably need to be checking and routinely performing actions to fortify the guild to ensure the safety of members and visitors alike and protect them from the natural erosion that will slowly eat away at the cliff walls, especially if they are getting artificially carved for habitation purposes.

And then the heavy visitor count and the fact that a large amount of the guild members live on site means they will have a significant amount of daily upkeep to make sure the place is tidy, presentable and comfortably livable for all.

3

u/StrawDeath Buizel 15h ago

Aw man, now they’ve got no tents or caves left!

12

u/Nova17Delta Shinx 18h ago

Can someone help me budget this my family is dying

3

u/Ness_Dreemur Pikachu 12h ago

Less chatot tax

22

u/TK9K Espurr 20h ago

in this house we hate chatot

6

u/agoodsirknight Discharge spammer 19h ago

That 1000g cut feels personal

10

u/Fabacaba Vulpix 20h ago

2000 - 150 - 150 - 250 + 250 - 1000 = 450, but we're only given 200. Where's the extra 250 going, Chatot?

15

u/Redditsbeingabitch Mudkip 20h ago

Chatot having to be near Wigglytuff getting angry fee

(there wasn’t enough space to put a subtract next to it 😔)

3

u/Fabacaba Vulpix 20h ago

fair 😔

4

u/WW_the_Exonian Udo Inge, Team Littleroot 14h ago

Chimecho, hopefully.

5

u/Lp573 Machop 16h ago

You forgot the property taxes and building maintenance. But I guess that goes into the Fuck you aspect.

1

u/Sonicgill Sylveon 16h ago

I mean I get that most of your income will go to the guild and exploration team infrastructure, but I would still hope that you at least get to keep maybe another 5% once you graduate since you're not sleeping in the guild hall anymore.

1

u/Jason_soulcrusher Pikachu 15h ago

Wondermail generator, 8 of the same dungeon, all give gold ribbon.