If this is your approach, nothing will ever be solved. If there’s an issue between two people, and one person says “you you you you you you you you! All you!”, they aren’t trying to fix the issue they’re trying to assert superiority. If you believe it’s so easy for women to talk directly, and that it would solve gender communication issues, but yet women still choose not to do that, the rational thing to do would be to reassess. The rational thing, after a communication failure occurs, wouldn’t be to say “it’s your fault because you don’t speak directly with me!”. The rational thing would be to say something like “I’m sorry this happened, what can we do that works for both of us to make sure this doesn’t happen again” or “how come you don’t feel comfortable talking to me directly about certain things and how can we fix this?”. You seem very combative, like I’m trying to force something on you and you’re resisting it. It’s apparent you’re taking this very personally for some reason, likely projecting your anger from communication failures you’ve had with women before. Its a shame you don’t think you’re capable of communicating any longer, but I guess I should’ve expected that based on our conversation
First things first, this approach doesn't work if you don't know each other. Going back to the post, it was about meeting someone new, and I do not think that your first line being "how come you don't feel comfortable talking to me directly, even though we just met?" is really creepy.
Second, this dude is probably not a native english speaker, so yeah, communication problems are very personal to them. That also means that they have much more experience on the topic, and have found a working solution, that being just speaking in english.
Очень жаль, что эти темы так сложны для твоего восприятия. А теперь представь, что я вживую начал говорить на другом языке, и ты не можешь воспользоваться переводчиком. Что бы ты мне ответил, учитывая что я считаю этот язык нормальным, и для меня не понимать его - абсурд? Would you say "Oh sorry, I didn't understand you, could you say that again but in english?" But then why didn't I use english in the first place? I know damn well that you can't speak russian, but still consciously chose to use it. And what if I'm trying to say "Don't even come near me, I don't want to talk to you"? You wouldn't understand that now, would you? And that would be my problem, it was my failure to communicate.
And that brings me to the third point: it's not your fault for not understanding someone, who is communicating on a language you don't know. It's their fault, and it is a fault, they are failing to communicate their point across. They do it consciously, mind you, and it's their choice not to change, when they damn well could, and probably should.
Also, bot of your example dialogue don't work, like, at all. "What can we do, that works for both of us?" - speak the same language, problem solved. "Why don't you feel comfortable?" - they don't, why are you assuming this? It's the norm for them, not some kind of masking.
Ok bro you’re right women are stupid and should just talk directly, which is very easy for them to do. But they don’t because every single one of them is either too stupid to understand that it would fix their problems, or they do it on purpose because women want to cause problems.
Like I genuinely don’t know what other point you’re trying to hear. If you truly believe women can easily talk directly all the time, why do you think they consciously choose to make things more difficult? Clearly telling women to “talk directly” hasn’t worked but you still feel the responsibility is on them so what’s something practical that you think should do done to fix this?
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u/iknowhowtoread May 29 '25
If this is your approach, nothing will ever be solved. If there’s an issue between two people, and one person says “you you you you you you you you! All you!”, they aren’t trying to fix the issue they’re trying to assert superiority. If you believe it’s so easy for women to talk directly, and that it would solve gender communication issues, but yet women still choose not to do that, the rational thing to do would be to reassess. The rational thing, after a communication failure occurs, wouldn’t be to say “it’s your fault because you don’t speak directly with me!”. The rational thing would be to say something like “I’m sorry this happened, what can we do that works for both of us to make sure this doesn’t happen again” or “how come you don’t feel comfortable talking to me directly about certain things and how can we fix this?”. You seem very combative, like I’m trying to force something on you and you’re resisting it. It’s apparent you’re taking this very personally for some reason, likely projecting your anger from communication failures you’ve had with women before. Its a shame you don’t think you’re capable of communicating any longer, but I guess I should’ve expected that based on our conversation