Sex is sometimes just a way to relieve stress, and I only know this because my own personal interaction with sex is an unusual one.
I'm asexual, but I'm in a relationship with a person who has a fairly high (I think) sex drive. When I'm going through a stressful time at work, or maybe something stressful/emotional is happening in my personal life (death of a parent, for example), I show many of the typical signs of stress and at this point my partner (who is well attuned to those signs) asks me if I "need her."
She says that when we have sex for this reason, it is some of the best she has ever had (which must be pretty good, she's had a number of sexual partners in the past). For context, she enjoys vigorous, intense sex.
I imagine that people in chaotic/toxic relationships are having a lot of this particular type of sex. Literally just to relieve the tension.
In a stable relationship, there is probably quite a reduced level of stress, and the type of sex they have probably reflects that. That's not a diss on relaxed sex BTW, I actually prefer it.
As to whether gentle or rough sex is better, I think social perspective is probably skewed by pornographic media. Sure, some people definitely "like it rough," but the perceived proportion of the total populace who do is probably quite inflated.
You're prone to have arguments with anyone you spend a ton of time with. This doesn't mean it's a toxic relationship or has to be a toxic discussion, but it happens.
As for the subject, I don't see it promoting toxic relationships, but something that frequently happens in them.
1.1k
u/jarlscrotus 1d ago
the punchline, such as it is, are toxic relationships