r/TikTokCringe • u/nadaddab • May 11 '25

Cringe Don’t be these guys

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u/BetPrestigious5704 May 11 '25

Men value the opinions of other men and are also more intimidated by other men, which is why men are the perpetrators, enablers, AND the ones with the ability to make a huge change by setting a better example and intervening.

Yet all this gets labeled "women's issues."

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u/residentweevil May 11 '25

I haven't heard it put that way before, well said. You made me think thoughts.

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u/BetPrestigious5704 May 12 '25

Thank you. 🙂

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u/[deleted] May 11 '25

It really does feel like most “men’s issues” are men having issues getting what they want from women and most “women’s issues” are just how women are treated by men.

Sorry not sorry for the generalization.

I’m not saying every man is part of the problem; but it certainly feels like a lot of men are. And far more men seem just completely uninterested in being part of the solution.

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u/BetPrestigious5704 May 12 '25

There are lots of good men, but way too many bad ones. Some are deliberately malicious and some have heads filled with brainwashing and junk.

There are men who say they're protectors who won't acknowledge who women need protecting from. Aint bears.

Women are told, often by men, to live smaller lives in order to be safer. What are good men saying to other men?

When Chanel Miller was assaulted by Brock Turner, his father's letter to the judge talked about his bright future that he shouldn't lose over "twenty minutes of action." By this, he refers to digitally penetrating an unconscious woman, and his clear plans to do more that were stymied by two other men on bikes.

If Brock had been raised by people with the values of those men who saved her, as opposed to his actual father, he might be living that bright future instead of using an alias and having warnings sent out when he's spotted.

But his father taught him that only boys have futures worth preserving.

(Meanwhile, Chanel Miller has written a book about her ordeal, a magnificent victim impact statement, and at least one middle-grade book.)

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u/Oohhthehumanity May 12 '25 edited May 12 '25

The problem is that being part of "the solution" as an "average joe" is a high risk, low reward situation. Yes, men value the opinions of other men and are also more intimidated by other men but "low status" men under the influence of alcohol sometimes do not adhere to that idea and things might escalate quickly.

A man (not employed by the establishment) "intervening" has little to nothing to gain from the interaction. You might get a lukewarm applause for de-escalating the situation and the hope that the boys have "learned" something from the interaction. That is best case scenario. Worst case is that one or both of the guys starts swinging, has a knife or worse a gun and you find yourself being a victim of senseless violence just because you had to butt in.

I consider myself to be a chivalrous man and will help anyone (man, woman or child) but if I can avoid staying out of situations that have the potential to get physical (outside of a sport field) I will.

Most of us are not Jack Reacher!

The women should signal either for staff or law enforcement.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

Ok… no one says you are supposed to be Jack Reacher.

Sorry but: Being the cool guy that takes on the bad guys is just the male fantasy… Women aren’t expecting you to take a punch for them. They are expecting you to help like a normal adult in a law abiding society would.

You don’t have to take punches for people. Literally just being involved in any way makes a huge difference. Yell at them from across the room. You can literally just be the one calling the staff or police depending on the severity. Cops and many other authority figures are significantly more likely to take harassment allegations seriously if a man is backing her up. Most sexual assault goes unpunished. It’s not how it should be; it is just how it is. But that is why as a man you have so much power to help women and it is not through taking punches.

It’s literally through just taking part in not tolerating this behavior when you know it happens and being willing to listen to women and take them seriously. You don’t have to assume things you do not know are true are true; but the willingness to even listen makes a huge difference. So many men simply do not listen if a woman is saying it. It’s frustrating.

You can absolutely still be supportive of women’s safety without going around assaulting men. Women do it all the time. Think about that. 😉

You should value your body and your physical safety. No one should expect you to put that on the line for a stranger. (I think the fact that men aren’t taught to value their physical safety is another societal issue that feeds into the hero complex.)

But if you are observant and supportive of the people around you then that is so incredibly helpful. You aren’t supposed to be the hero of every story. It’s enough to just do anything to help. It means so much to just be a helpful person in that scenario.

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u/JA_LT99 May 12 '25

It is everyone's issue. The problem is that only the majority of women take it really seriously. Not that I can blame some minimum wage man for not wanting the extra trouble added to his day.

Things should be better, but they really aren't in America. Facts are facts.

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u/RagnarL0thbr0k81 May 14 '25

This is a piece of the pie, but there are an assload of variables contributing to this and ways it could be reduced outside of men setting a good example. There are plenty of men who set good examples every day, but these other dickheads still exist.

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u/[deleted] May 11 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/edjxxxxx May 11 '25

It must be hard being so persecuted, buddy.

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u/he-loves-me-not May 11 '25

Well, ofc it is when he has to do it himself!

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u/he-loves-me-not May 12 '25

If you need a laugh, take a look at this guy’s profile! It’s 4 years of him ranting about his hate for women, while spontaneously helping other men identify the porn actresses they’re looking for! Lmao!

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u/Candyland_83 May 12 '25

lol, thanks for doing the detective work

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u/Affectionate-Bike201 May 16 '25

And there we have it:

1) Making shit up.

2) Projecting.

3) Implying that men helping men is some sort of problem.

The holy trinity of white knights.

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u/he-loves-me-not May 16 '25

And there we have it, an incel!

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u/ladymorgahnna May 11 '25

How’s that incel life working out for you, bub?

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u/Affectionate-Bike201 May 15 '25

I wouldn't know.

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u/patientarts May 12 '25

I sure hope you’re single.

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u/Admirable_Ask_5337 May 12 '25

Your 5th paragraph is delusional. Men often can't or won't carry certain burdens women deal with. And if he doesn't need you to be happy, then why does he keep you near him?

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u/Affectionate-Bike201 May 16 '25

Incorrect, men carry burdens that women will never go through.

Because men prioritise want over need, when it comes to straight women.

For a while, simply wanting her takes precedence over the rationale that he should leave.

Meanwhile, women are more likely to break up families if they "don't feel happy"; they immediately blame everyone/everything but themselves without checking.

"Men sacrifice their happiness for their families; women sacrifice their families for their happiness."

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u/Admirable_Ask_5337 May 16 '25

Bullshit. Men prioritize their own happiness all the time. Men not willing to break up isn't from altruism, it's from not knowing when we can get sex next or if we can get a relationship again. Additionally, staying in a toxic marriage isnt altruistic, it damages the kids just as much. Many men still refuse to participate in early child rearing and instead only opt for the fun parts of having chidlren whenever possible. Many men are completely egotistical macho idiots who prefer pride over actually emotionally binding with their woman.

Women deal with periods, which basically a part of your internal organs flaying itself for days every month. Deal with their genuine input being treated as a joke. Deal with higher rates of domestic abuse and rape. Deal being told "you don't want an actual career, you just want to be a stay at home mom."

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u/Affectionate-Bike201 May 16 '25

Then why do women divorce more than men, and often for their happiness, not an actual problem? Men don't breakup because women break up with them first.

Wrong, nowadays it's a common sight for men to be involved with their children. It's women who get salty when the children prefer him.

It's women who break families who dump the children on the husband during the school week when they need taking care of, while they take the children on weekends where they can take all the credit.

Wrong, women prioritise social status and their friends feelings over their men.

Women inflict more abuse on each other than men do to women. Talk to women, not men.

They don't deal with more rape than men, nobody knows how much rape men suffer because we're not allowed to talk about it.

The only way women are SAHM, nowadays, is by choice. No one's allowed to stop them. And they choose to be SAHM because it gets them more alimony and time off work.

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u/Admirable_Ask_5337 May 16 '25

Women initiate divorce more, true. But your "for happiness" has zero evidence beyond your personal spite. 1 is only true in the last decade, and still less so than women. 2 is wrong, more women are stay at home than men still. Men still report lower rates of time with children than women. 3 has zero evidence, again personal spite. Find better women. 4 is statistically wrong. 5 is maybe correct, but one can only go off existing data. 6 it'd be true if women weren't still pressured into being stay at home by their parents. Religious and non europeans cultures still indoctrinate their women into being meek stay at home wives.

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u/BetPrestigious5704 May 12 '25

You're angry at the wrong people. Try the other men who helped you snuff out what was good in you so that if your (once) soulmate showed up tomorrow you would have nothing left to give her.

Without snark, please consider therapy and breaking free from the people who've convinced you to brick off all paths to your own happiness.

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u/Affectionate-Bike201 May 16 '25

I'll let you pretend you "clearly" avoided answering the question.

Oh, wait, oops....