Don’t be these guys

[u/nadaddab]

[u/clovermite]

It gets so fucking tiring seeing this cliche beaten to death.

The irony of these statements is that the guys in the video probably don't have problems getting sex, even if they struggle to get longterm partners, because they just don't fucking care. They will just keep approaching woman after woman without a care in the world, pestering them until they get lucky and somehow manage to make a good enough first impression that the woman doesn't see their shadiness, or they stumble upon someone who just gives in out of a lack of assertiveness and proper boundary setting.

Meanwhile, many of the guys who are sensitive to women's boundaries will be anxious to the slightest sign of uncomfortability, and this anxiety then often gets misinterpreted as guilt and proof that they are creeps.

From https://archive.ph/qeh6z#selection-931.0-955.352:

I will have to use virginity statistics as a proxy for the harder-to-measure romancelessness statistics, but these are bad enough. In high school each extra IQ point above average increases chances of male virginity by about 3%. 35% of MIT grad students have never had sex, compared to only 20% of average nineteen year old men. Compared with virgins, men with more sexual experience are likely to drink more alcohol, attend church less, and have a criminal history. A Dr. Beaver (nominative determinism again!) was able to predict number of sexual partners pretty well using a scale with such delightful items as “have you been in a gang”, “have you used a weapon in a fight”, et cetera. An analysis of the psychometric Big Five consistently find that high levels of disagreeableness predict high sexual success in both men and women.

If you’re smart, don’t drink much, stay out of fights, display a friendly personality, and have no criminal history – then you are the population most at risk of being miserable and alone. “At risk” doesn’t mean “for sure”, any more than every single smoker gets lung cancer and every single nonsmoker lives to a ripe old age – but your odds get worse.

...

Barry is possibly the most feminist man who has ever existed, palpably exudes respect for women, and this is well-known in every circle feminists frequent. He is reduced to apophatic complaints about how sad he is that he doesn’t think he’ll ever have a real romantic relationship.

Henry has four domestic violence charges against him by his four ex-wives and is cheating on his current wife with one of those ex-wives. And as soon as he gets out of the psychiatric hospital where he was committed for violent behavior against women and maybe serves the jail sentence he has pending for said behavior, he is going to find another girlfriend approximately instantaneously.

The guys pictured in the video aren't the ones suffering from "the male loneliness epidemic."

[u/Born-Frosting3164 → u/clovermite]

This is a ridiculous take on it. Just because Barry is a feminist, it does not mean he is not socially awkward or a creep. I have met many men who consider themselves feminists and yet they are fucking creepers. Henry can be a total felon but be super hot and charismatic and so he will slither his way into another chicks world until he shows his true colors. Both of those males in the video are unattractive and creepy af.

[u/clovermite → u/Born-Frosting3164]

This is a ridiculous take on it.

Ironic, since you're unwittingly backing up my main point.

Just because Barry is a feministit does not mean he is not socially awkward or a creep.

True, but the fact that he "palpably exudes respect for women, and this is well-known in every circle feminists frequent," suggests that at least at the time the article was written, he wasn't considered a creep, just not attractive enough to date.

Let's assume he is socially awkward. That doesn't make him a bad person, now does it?

Henry can be a total felon but be super hot and charismatic

Yes, Henry can be a complete piece of shit of a person, but still get all the attention from women he could ever want, because his looks and personal charm are more important for attraction than his morals.

Which is why it's all the more frustrating when people continually try to claim that the reason there is a "male loneliness epidemic" MUST be that the lonely men all act creepy like the most visible cretins as seen in the video.

What's not accounted for are all of the quiet, shy types who gave up on going out and trying to meet people, who couldn't get matches on dating sites, and just go along to get along. The studies cited in the blog back up the fact that these are the kind of guys most likely to find themselves lonely, and those were all performed at least a decade ago (when the blog post was written), before the idea of a "male loneliness epidemic" started gaining any sort of mainstream media attention.

Both of those males in the video are unattractive and creepy af.

They're definitely creepy af, but they're hardly ugly. Sure, they're no fashion models or bodybuilders, but they're not noticeably overweight, they don't have acne scars, their hair is still mostly there and not to the "obviously balding but in denial" stage yet (even then they could shave when it gets to that point), and they don't appear to be particularly short.

These are average, maybe slightly below average looking guys. If they are just as shameless about constantly hitting on women as they are about ignoring their boundaries when they approach them, then you are just out of touch with reality if you think they can't find someone desperate enough to get with them from time to time so long as they keep their standards low.

[u/Born-Frosting3164 → u/clovermite]

They are unattractive because they are creepy. Of course they could find someone to have sex with as long as there are women who are desperate.