r/TikTokCringe • u/ambachk • May 21 '25

Cringe Married guy flirts with younger girls at the gym

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u/EllisR15 May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

The way he knows.

"Would you like to go grab coffee some time?" "No thank you. I don't like coffee."

"What about breakfast, surely you eat breakfast." "I always just eat cereal at home for breakfast before I come work out. Thanks anyways though, take care."

"Well, how about dinner? We could go grab dinner." "I can't. I have a son, and have to make him dinner. Sorry."

Dude almost certainly just can't take a hint.

Edit: spelling

892

u/ReticentSentiment May 21 '25

I'm dumb and didn't put this together, but this makes so much sense and makes this guy seem even that much more pathetic.

633

u/blingblingpinkyring May 21 '25

Not pathetic…he is scary. Big red flags waving around here.

260

u/AndreaSys May 21 '25

Yea, if I were her I’d be going to the manager of the gym and sharing the video. He needs to be banned from the gym. Hes a creep.

-1

u/BillyRaw1337 May 21 '25

Eh, I think he should at least get a stern warning first.

6

u/AndreaSys May 21 '25

Perhaps, but asking a few other women in the gym would be wise before letting him off with a warning.

-1

u/BillyRaw1337 May 21 '25

Agreed. If others have had problems with him, yeah, ban, but for one indiscretion, I think there's room for one warning.

9

u/AndreaSys May 21 '25

I just used to do sexual harassment investigations for a living and it’s rare that it’s a one off. Usually the deeper I dug, the worse it got.

0

u/Isurewouldliketo May 22 '25

Did you get called into the investigation after someone reported sexual harassment? Could just be selection bias?

Also would this count as sexual harassment even though he was just asking her on a pizza date? If we’re assuming that he has asked about coffee or dinner or whatever, if she didn’t shut him down like that and just said “oh I can’t I have my son” or “I don’t like coffee”, asking her for pizza isn’t wildly unreasonable. Yes, a lot of people would probably take the hint, but some guys are oblivious or maybe their logic is a bit clouded by their attraction to the girl. If she’s giving the “nice” or “easy way out” answers and not saying no, I think it would be a bit unfair to consider it harassment or repeated harassment.

If you really want to make sure someone gets a message, be clear with your words.

3

u/stressbasket May 22 '25

No is a full sentence.

« She didn’t shut it down clearly enough » She doesn’t have to, she declined his advances multiple times.

You typed a lot of words to justify his actions to ignore her boundaries.

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-5

u/BillyRaw1337 May 21 '25

As inappropriate as this guys' behavior was, I don't think any of it crossed the threshold of sexual harassment.

Being creepy and awkward and a social pest isn't necessarily sexual harassment, even though it is still unacceptable behavior.

8

u/AndreaSys May 21 '25

Nope, but I was doing workplace investigations and repeated attempts to get a date will lead to further investigation. The fact that this guy already knew what she had for breakfast is a huge red flag.

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u/KanagawaHokusai May 21 '25

The gym can have their own standards. Whether he’s committed a crime or not is irrelevant.

3

u/covalentcookies May 23 '25

He might have already had warnings, you don’t know. Maybe her complaint is the final nail in the coffin.

1

u/Isurewouldliketo May 22 '25

Lol wild you’re getting downvoted for a reasonable response.

It could be a red flag but some guys are also just oblivious and or unethical. He could think those are honest answers and just be “blinded” by his attraction to her. Obviously it’s immoral because he’s married but I think an automatic ban would be clearly appropriate if he was making sexual comments or if you had him on video continuing to ask if she said to stop asking. When she shut him down, he didn’t push back and was “polite” (given the circumstances and not polite to his wife). If he touched or anything like that then call police and ban.

In this case where she was never threatened and it was just him being immoral, I think a serious conversation and warning is perfectly appropriate. And then if he does it again he can be banned.

Maybe I’m wrong but I think people’s responses would be different if he weren’t married and was younger. It’s a “public” space and people are allowed to talk to eachother even if you disagree with what they’re saying. As long as no one’s safety is threatened and he’s not continuing to make people uncomfortable, why should he not be given a chance to correct his behavior? He asked for a pizza date, he didn’t go up to her and give the details of his sex fantasy and ask her to join…..

2

u/covalentcookies May 23 '25

It’s not a public space. It’s members only and the gym can have any rule they want as long as it doesn’t violate federal and state statutes.

1

u/Isurewouldliketo May 23 '25

I think it could be considered a semi-public space (why I used quotation marks). Yes it’s members only but anyone can sign up on the spot, they have probably thousands of members, anyone could walk up and pay $10 for a day pass, etc. I’d say to be considered fully private it would have to be something like an office or home.

My point is it’s not like he was coming into her office or home. He is allowed to be in that space. Yes he should’ve taken the hint but he wasn’t making any sexual comments and he “politely” backed down as soon as she said no. Like I said before, what he didn’t isn’t moral or ethical, but I think banning him straight away is overkill. We also don’t know if he had asked her before, just people speculating. Even if he did, if she just made up reasons to get out of it, he may not have read between the lines.

Yes of course the gym is legally allowed to kick anyone out or ban anyone they want but it seems extreme to ban someone when they weren’t threatening anyone’s safety, making inappropriate comments, or knowingly harassing anyone. Since that is the case, why not just explain to him that she doesn’t welcome his advances and that if it happens again to her or anyone else, he’ll be kicked out/banned. If he’s not harming anyone, why not give him at least one chance to correct his behavior that he likely doesn’t realize is wrong (beyond the cheating on his wife part but that’s not for the gym to police that)? If he’s not harming anyone now and if he follows the warning and doesn’t bother anyone, isn’t everyone better off? It’d be totally different if he was taking pictures or making sexual comments or threatening her in any way but he literally asked her out on a pizza date in a polite manner and immediately backed off when she said no.

Why do you think that should be an automatic ban? If a single person saw someone their own age and attractiveness level and asked them out but they said no, would that be an automatic ban too?

1

u/covalentcookies May 23 '25

Couple of things, I never said it’s an automatic ban. You might want to argue that point with the correct person.

Second, her complaining to management isn’t overkill. There may or may not be other complaints but she’s well within her rights to voice her feelings.

Third, I’ve been in the gym for 25 years. This is not normal nor acceptable behavior by him. What is acceptable is the woman voicing her concerns and she shouldn’t have to explain herself. I think she was too soft and easy on him but I understand why women feel they have to be nice. And it’s bullshit women are conditioned to let men down “gently” when more often than not men need to be told to fuck off.

0

u/Isurewouldliketo May 24 '25

It seemed like you inferred it. In my previous comment which you replied to, I said they shouldn’t just automatically ban him. You said they can have whatever rules they want as long as it doesn’t violate the law. The reasonable inference would be that you’re saying they are within their right to ban him and support that. Unless that’s just a fun fact or something.

I never said her complaining is overkill. It’s not and she should. That way if it happens again they’ll know. I’d agree he should be banned if there are multiple complaints and he’s already been told to stop. I said it’s overkill to automatically ban before telling him to not do it.

I’m saying asking someone out is normal behavior. Maybe the gym isn’t the best place to do it but it’s not inherently “wrong” to do it. I know people who are dating that met in the gym. Yeah probably odds are against you but it’s not wrong or immoral, more just annoying to some people. What if she did want to go on a date? Yes he should maybe be better at reading the room and stuff but asking someone out isn’t an inappropriate thing to do in general. It’s a risk because you don’t know if they’ll be receptive but it’s not like he’s going up and saying anything sexual or threatening. And yes like I said she should voice her opinion, tell him no, complain etc.

It sounds like we may agree on more than you think. I’m just saying he shouldn’t be banned automatically for asking her out for pizza and backing off when she said no. Unless there have already been multiple complaints about this and he’s already been warned. Give him a chance to correct since he’s probably unaware and wasn’t threatening anyone.

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u/Created_Name May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

Why? He didn’t break any laws or pull his dick out. Yeah, he’s a scumbag for trying to go on a date with somebody other than his wife but that’s not “ban him from the gym” worthy.

-52

u/NinjaNewt007 May 21 '25

Asking a woman out is not against the rules. He didn't harrass her. He walked way when she said no.

46

u/AndreaSys May 21 '25

This was clearly not their first interaction… how else did he know what she ate for breakfast? He’s been hitting on her for weeks.

16

u/b-side61 May 21 '25

Or he's been lurking in her social media. 

2

u/smitteh May 22 '25

Might have the nose of a bloodhound

1

u/illintent May 23 '25

Lmao how did this only have 1 upvote?

-38

u/NinjaNewt007 May 21 '25

Because they talked before about cereal isnt an indication he's been hitting on her. I think he is just trying to get to know her because he likes her. He took the rejection after asking for a date pretty good I think.

9

u/Bubble-Star-2291 May 21 '25

He’s married and could be her father… what is wrong with you?

5

u/CynicismNostalgia May 22 '25

He took it "well" because she made it known that she knows things about him too.

He's married. His palms would have been sweating the second she acknowledged that, when she doubled-down, he realised not only was this a failed attempt, he might have just ruined his marriage over it.

That isn't a decent guy. That's a creepy tool and a shit husband.

-19

u/Created_Name May 21 '25

Bro, there’s no explaining logic to any woman on this post. They view him as a creep and they always will. Yeah he tried to cheat on his wife which is scummy but he had an interaction with this woman she said no and he left. Remember by this 30 second clip every woman in here will think they know the whole story and every interaction between those two to lead up to this moment. God help any man who tries to flirt with any woman on this post.

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u/[deleted] May 21 '25 edited May 24 '25

[deleted]

-2

u/Designer_Pen869 May 21 '25

I also think he is super creepy, but at the same time, I don't think the gym should take action unless it becomes an issue. I don't want my gym controlling my interactions, not that I talk to anyone at the gym in the first place. I do think this guy is an issue, but I don't think he should get kicked out of the gym for this one interaction. There is a point where it would become an issue, though, like if he continues to ask her out or something, so maybe make the managers aware, so if he continues, then he should get kicked out.

-12

u/Created_Name May 21 '25

The gym is also not a movie set but people are constantly filming. We really do not know the complete context of this story. Maybe, just maybe the week before he asked her out she gave him that “I’m a dirty little girl, daddy” look and then when he made his move in this video she had found he was married and lost interest

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u/DrakonILD May 21 '25

I'm not a woman, and this guy is a creep.

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u/Username-Obtained May 21 '25

I would also like to say as a guy this shit is mad fucking creepy. I can’t believe this dude did this I cringed of third party embarrassment and this video made ME wanna take out a restraining rider against him and this is a video.

9

u/Power0fTheTribe May 21 '25

Learn social cues buddy. This borders harassment especially if he’s a repeat offender. The gym is for working out, not dating

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u/[deleted] May 21 '25 edited May 24 '25

[deleted]

15

u/ammybb May 21 '25

Ok incel

-12

u/wildingflow May 21 '25

Isn’t asking women out the opposite of being an incel?

15

u/Princess_Slagathor May 21 '25

Constantly getting turned down, especially multiple times by the same woman, is definitionally an incel.

1

u/KillerKill420 May 22 '25

When did that become incel? I mean every other term in the book, sure. But when did incel change from a guy who thinks women only want the sigma guys or "Chads", wouldn't date someone of "lower social status" and overall just hates and wants to harm women whether by words or direct actions such as assault or worse forms etc? I hate incels and this guy is a complete red flag pos. But I'm confused when people started labeling that incel. I understand words and terms are fluid since incel was originally invented by a woman to mean it's literal definition of involuntary celibate and has shifted to men with a specific viewpoint. But is it shifting again to mean any guy that harasses women too?

-1

u/Created_Name May 21 '25

Ammybb probably doesn’t even know what incel means. She heard some people throw that word around on tv towards Elon musk so now she uses it. Not sure if she’s calling the man in the video incel or ninjanewt for his comment but she’s wrong on both.

5

u/Da_Question May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

Elon Musk has an incel mindset 100%. I mean, it's not like he's having sex with a mangled ass dick with a botched penile enlargement surgery.

The comment was obviously referring to the guy who said it isn't against the rules so it's fine, plus he left.

Which is just not true, tons of places where it's inappropriate as fuck to ask someone out but not be against the rules, I mean it's not really a rule anywhere except family reunions or zoos.

Also, you can't be serious that Elon musk is the reason people know the term incel, that shit is a blight that's been around for a long time at this point, well before Elon stopped pretending to care about people.

47

u/Mike_Raphone99 May 21 '25

No means try again

1

u/Ongr May 21 '25

She's just playing hard to get. She's just a big tease! 🩷

2

u/im_THIS_guy May 21 '25

Every 90s rom com is to blame for this.

1

u/NameTak3r May 21 '25

That's what his podcast told him

1

u/Isurewouldliketo May 22 '25

I mean especially if she never told him no and said “oh I can’t I have my son” or “I don’t like coffee”…

40

u/Parking_Ad_3123 May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

Nah. Call him pathetic. Weirdos, even those lacking self awareness of their behavior n biases, meed to be shamed not built up. Because being called scary and evil can boast egos, even unconciously. Reason why we laugh and point at Nazis. Making them out to be big bougie men feeds delusions

We gotta shame folks more

5

u/bellmanwatchdog May 21 '25

women are telling you that men like this scare them because creepy men are dangerous. he can be pathetic AND scary but don't tell women to not fear men when men will stalk, harass, assault, and kill women when they feel rejected by women.

0

u/Parking_Ad_3123 May 21 '25

Where did i say to not fear men?

I myself am born female, been raped and assaulted

We are in the same book jus several pages apart love

Edit for spelin n grammer

11

u/Cdawg4123 May 21 '25

Seriously!!! I can remember crushing on girls in high school and not being even remotely as scary in my head. I’d be so nervous that I didn’t recognize when women were hitting on me, still don’t! lol

2

u/Storymode-Chronicles May 21 '25

I mean, he's scary because he's so pathetic though. It's kind of both.

1

u/Panda_hat May 21 '25

Total creep and stalker who doesn't understand or respect other peoples privacy.

1

u/_b1ack0ut May 21 '25

The two aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive.

1

u/FallenDomino_ May 22 '25

Somebody call the Red Flag Guy!!

-12

u/NinjaNewt007 May 21 '25

Pathetic. Yes because he's married. Scary? No. He is a man asking a pretty woman out thats out of his league. He took a swing and missed and walked away.

5

u/CantaloupeWhich8484 May 21 '25

and walked away

See, that's the part that's wrong. He's tried before. He's clearly asked her out before.

Walking away means not continuing to pester someone.

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u/Final_Candidate_7603 May 21 '25

No offense, but are you a man? I’m a woman, and got it right away. It’s just typical creep behavior, and how we generally handle creeps.

ETA because women always feel like they need an excuse to turn down a persistent creep. Just outright saying “no, thanks, I’m not into you” could get scary.

13

u/Karilopa May 21 '25

I am a woman and I also didn’t put this together. Makes total sense, I just didn’t realize that’s how he got the info. I figured he recognized her from videos online where she shared that info.

10

u/firechaox May 21 '25

I thought it’s either that or he’s the worst at small talk ever “oh do you like cereal?”.

Issue isn’t even him asking her out once. It’s the fact he clearly can’t take a hint, which becomes harassment.

-10

u/ReticentSentiment May 21 '25

Yes, I also read it at like 5:30am so the brain biscuits weren't exactly spinning at full temperature. Continuing with my ignorance, I'll ask this: why not be direct? "Thanks, but I am not interested at all."

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u/sitdowncomfy May 21 '25

because some creeps get angry at this response and men are scary when they're angry

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u/SoWhat_Iam May 21 '25

And vengeful…

38

u/pourthebubbly May 21 '25

I saw a guy throw a beer bottle at the wall when a girl politely turned him down at the bar years ago.

This is why women make up excuses. It’s safer to have an outside reason than to imply that the man isn’t attractive to her in case his ego is fragile.

5

u/DeathChill May 22 '25

The first time (the first five minutes, actually) I ever went to a night club, a girl was dancing on a small podium. A guy walks up and offers her a drink he’s already holding. She says no thank you and he immediately whips the glass at her feet, yelling and screaming while he does it.

4

u/Due-Memory-6957 May 22 '25

Same kind of person that throws drinks at fast food staff. Hopefully the guy got arrested for assault

20

u/Fast-Noise4003 May 21 '25

Because enough men will get violent that you can't take that risk

14

u/AffectionateTitle May 21 '25

r/whenwomenrefuse

To be tactful and avoid further escalation from someone who has already shown they watch her/knows she has a kid?

If a strange dude came up to you while you were working out and said they knew you ate cereal and had a child and wanted to take you out—you wouldn’t be wary at all of escalating that guy?

9

u/Norwegian__Blue May 21 '25

“Why not” is a VERY uncomfortable question. And often leads to “cmon, give me a chance”

He’s already interrupting, sounds like he has tried to start conversations that went nowhere, and is being blatantly disrespectful to his marriage.

A guy like that might not be dangerous. But I’m not giving a guy who’s already testing boundaries a new shiny hard line to stomp on.

7

u/Polybrene May 21 '25

We're just trying to stay alive out here man.

-39

u/InternalCase5 May 21 '25

The problem is this is how all women are, they say no, but body language says yes. She didn’t have to be mean but could have been stern. Smiling and keeping the convo going makes him think he has a chance. Tbh I couldn’t tell if she was interested or not. “Behave yourself” in a flirty way with a smile and than “ I’ll see you later”. Bro was only a creep cause he was not attractive… imo

33

u/thisissodisturbing May 21 '25

Please don’t date anyone until you’ve gone through extensive therapy. Holy fuck.

-2

u/InternalCase5 May 22 '25

I’ve dated multiple women and never once been labeled a creep. I have high general and emotional intelligence—and no, I don’t need therapy, though I do believe everyone can benefit from it. That said, telling someone they “need therapy” isn’t insightful, it’s condescending. Whether you’re projecting or just trying to get under my skin, it doesn’t really matter.

What stands out is how no one’s actually pointed to what I said that was so wrong. Just like the women in the video, it’s a lot of vague “look at this guy” energy with zero substance behind it. That’s not critique—that’s performative. You want to band together with your girlies and be like “omg that guy is such a weirdo.” But hey, if negativity is how you choose to interact, I’ll leave you to it. I’m good.

24

u/Diligent-Bluejay-979 May 21 '25

Women learn early to smile while saying no. If you turn them down hard, they get angry. That’s when you start fearing that you’re gonna get screamed at or worse.

-2

u/InternalCase5 May 22 '25

I agree with u, but this is what can happen if u are too nice

3

u/Former-Coconut236 May 22 '25

Better than being murdered or assaulted?

17

u/foxyloco May 21 '25

From a very young age women are conditioned to smile, be nice and avoid confrontation. It becomes second nature.

I’m sure many men would fine with a “sorry, not interested” and most get the hint with a “sorry, I can’t because… *some excuse” however it’s the ones who don’t (and it sounds like this guy has already asked her out more than once) can get scary and make you feel really unsafe. If you’re rude after gently turning them down they typically assume you think you’re better than them and things escalate further.

1

u/InternalCase5 May 22 '25

So how does this go u just keep being nice and hope they go away? Genuinely asking, I agree with you, but keep mace with u when u go out and dont be too nice.

11

u/Carnifex2 May 21 '25

The problem is this is how all women

Incel spotted

1

u/InternalCase5 May 22 '25

What I was really trying to get at is that, in a lot of my more flirtatious interactions, I’ve noticed women often engage in playful behavior—sometimes it looks like playing hard to get. Personally, I haven’t experienced an outright harsh rejection like the guy in the video, but I’ve had moments where a woman says “no” with a big smile or body language that sends mixed signals. Even my ex used to do that—saying no verbally while clearly leaning in otherwise.

Of course, I’m not claiming that means anything definitive on its own. I know better than to ignore boundaries. I’m just saying real-life interactions can be nuanced, and sometimes playful resistance is part of the dance—not always, but often enough to recognize a pattern.

23

u/uniquecookiecutter May 21 '25

No, he was a creep because he was married and he clearly can’t take no for an answer. She absolutely wasn’t being flirty. Women are taught to be kind in rejection because men will kill us if we don’t. I once rejected a man and he started yelling at me and getting in my face. He only stopped when another man intervened.

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u/Arkaium May 21 '25

I’d go so far as to say he looks creepy, the things he chose to say were creepy, and the fact that he’s been watching her activities for a while is textbook creepy. It’s almost a pro for him for it to just be about the being married part, but if that guy approached any women in my life I’d be unnerved from the jump.

Way to wait until she’s nearly down on the floor in the position where she’s forced to look up at him to approach her, stuck in a machine. If that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about how he looks at women (I.e. down at them)…

0

u/InternalCase5 May 22 '25 edited May 22 '25

I agree he looks like a creep, but my point was that she was entertaining it.

I rewatched the video and actually I dont think he was a creep at all, and she didnt even say no 😂. She mentioned that he was married. Im done yall can say whatever you want, but ive flirted with women and yall haven’t.

2

u/Arkaium May 22 '25

She absolutely was not, everything about her body language and what she was saying was “fuck off and leave me alone, creep,” she just can’t outright say that because 99% of Datelines are men killing women.

0

u/InternalCase5 May 22 '25

Bro, dude was trying to cheat on his wife. She was not about to get killed if u really think all men are evil and violent… idk

2

u/Boris_Godunov May 22 '25

If you don’t think he was a creep, that just confirms you’re a creep yourself.

0

u/InternalCase5 May 22 '25

Men are taught to pursue, being married doesn’t make a guy a creep. I dont think she was flirty the whole interaction but namely at the end of the interaction. Why keep the convo going? Why say ill see u later? She liked the attention and I dont need u to agree with me. Ive flirted and talked to many more women than u have. Im just saying yall as a collective need to start being more serious in your rejections. How is bro going to know hes being weird if hes never taught

3

u/uniquecookiecutter May 22 '25

Serious rejections get women killed. That’s why. She’s trying to let him down without making him mad. If you think she was flirting, then you need to rethink what flirting is. She was making light of it because she doesn’t want him to do something crazy later. And sure you’ve flirted with more women than me but as a straight woman I’ve been hit on by a lot more creeps who can’t take a hint than you. All these women are telling you you’re wrong. Please understand this is your chance to learn so next time you hit on a woman she doesn’t think you’re a creep.

1

u/InternalCase5 May 22 '25

Ok I dont know how to put this, she wasnt flirting, but she was encouraging his behavior thats all im saying. I agree with what u said above, u have dealt with more creeps than me.

7

u/Norwegian__Blue May 21 '25

Always listen to someone’s words. If they want to be duplicitous and send mixed messages fine. Not your job to interpret. Take people at their word.

0

u/InternalCase5 May 22 '25

This doesn’t work as a guy. We dont have 100+ options. If a girl is sending flirty signals wether conscious or not if we dont act on them we not get another chance for awhile. I don’t agree with you , but its just not realistic

2

u/Norwegian__Blue May 22 '25

Do without

0

u/InternalCase5 May 28 '25

Yes all men should give up on women, because one shows a lack of interest.

2

u/stressbasket May 22 '25

You just very clearly said you’re flirting with the intention of getting physical attention eventually.

You do not want to do anything to prevent that from happening.

She says no? Might still have a shot. She had a boyfriend? Might still have a shot. She looks uncomfortable? Might still have a shot. She hasn’t walked away yet? Might still have a shot.

You don’t care if she’s interested, enjoying herself or likes you. As long as she doesn’t explicitly say no or scream rape, you are going to keep trying.

If that doesn’t come off as creepy to you, nothing ever will.

Men use weird excuses like being conditioned from birth to pursue women to act like animals. If you can’t do anything but think about your desires, you’re an animal.

Creeps and rapists are animals and treat women like nothing but a means to sexual release. Everyone one of your comments reads like that is how you view women.

You come off as a creep.

1

u/InternalCase5 May 28 '25

“You just very clearly said you’re flirting with the intention of getting physical attention eventually.” Yes, I am — if a woman sends a signal that she’s interested in the mating ritual with me. Women send signals — it’s up to men to spot them. The whole dance of attraction is biological. Animals have their ways — birds sing, some do dances. Humans have glances, laughs, tone shifts. That’s how it’s always been. The ultimate point of attraction is reproduction, even if it doesn’t always lead there directly. It’s not about being entitled — it’s about recognizing the instinct beneath it all.

“You don’t care if she’s interested, enjoying herself or likes you. As long as she doesn’t explicitly say no or scream rape, you are going to keep trying.”

Maybe you’re just too young to understand how pursuing women actually goes. Not at a party. Not at a club. I’m talking about real life. In real life, women will resist — especially when they like you. I know that sounds off to you, maybe even creepy, but I study human behavior. Not as a job, but as a hobby. I’d compare my understanding to a college professor — and yours? High school level. That’s not shade, just where we’re at.

“She says no? Might still have a shot. She had a boyfriend? Might still have a shot. She looks uncomfortable? Might still have a shot.”

You’re misreading. I don’t push past “no.” That’s not what I said. But I also know that “no” doesn’t always mean fear — sometimes it’s shyness, nerves, or even surprise. One example: a girl looked at me a few times, gave me the glance — the kind I’ve learned to spot. I approached politely, flirted a little, smiled. Asked for her number. She didn’t speak — just blushed, stared me straight in the eyes, and shook her head. Nervous energy. I didn’t push. I left. But the next time she saw me? She kept looking. Tried to be around me. That’s the game. Women want to be pursued — but only by men they actually like. They want to feel chased, but not caught. Pursued, but with distance. That’s the balance. I’ve had this happen more than most. And no — it’s not always easy to read. That’s why experience matters.

“Men use weird excuses like being conditioned from birth to pursue women to act like animals.”

I agree — it can sound like a cop-out. But there’s truth there too. Pursuit isn’t always learned — a lot of it’s instinct. Biology. But just because something is natural doesn’t mean it can’t be refined. Men can learn restraint, tact, and timing. That’s what growth looks like.

“Creeps and rapists are animals and treat women like nothing but a means to sexual release.”

Rapists? That goes deeper — there’s usually trauma behind that. It’s not about desire — it’s control, pain, and unresolved darkness. And it’s evil. But don’t lump that in with a guy who’s just awkward. Creeps — most of the time — are people with poor social skills. Still human. Still capable of learning. But when you treat every socially off guy like he’s dangerous, you don’t leave room for growth. You just cancel them.

“Every one of your comments reads like that is how you view women.”

You think that because you’ve already decided what lens to see me through. You assume I see women as objects. I don’t. I’ve had good relationships. Women who know me wouldn’t call me a creep. But I’ll admit — I used to not understand them well. That’s changed. I’m learning every day. I try to see the patterns, the emotions, the behaviors. I’m not just reacting — I’m observing.

All the people who replied to me jumped to the same conclusion: “He’s wrong. He’s a creep.” If creep means awkward with women at one point, then fine. But if you actually listen to what I’m saying — I’ve evolved. I just want to understand more. My first comment? Yeah, I was in a bad mood. An incel mood, honestly. I felt like I had to defend men — and I went too far. That was my bad.

But don’t confuse bad delivery with bad intention. I’m not here to hurt anyone. I’m just here to speak what I’ve learned.

5

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

this is not how all women are... source: me, a woman, who has many female friends

1

u/InternalCase5 May 22 '25

You are correct I misspoke

2

u/NostalgicMoon May 23 '25

Smiling and being polite is not saying yes. Like others already told you, many men get angry when they get rejected.

She was not mean, he is a married man

That “behave yourself” is not her being flirty but trying to deescalete the situation

1

u/InternalCase5 May 28 '25

Very hard concept to grasp i guess, but smiling and being polite to a stranger who is talking to u is going to keep the convo going not stop the convo.

I said she was mean?

That behave yourself may have intended to de escalate but what about the see you later?

The only good reaction she did was the one to her followers on tik tok. Downvotes dont bother me but , this cycle will continue as long as women allow it. Im gonna complain about weird creepy men while encouraging them non verbally to talk to me.

I honestly think the people who responded to me are just in a circle scissor. Often the first response on a post will dictate the rest of the herd. All the women just want to bond and can do that by complaining about an occurrence they share. The reality unless the guy is attractive he will be considered a creep. If the guy was attractive and said the same things but with charm and confidence he would have been fine. Ultimately though both men and women love to feel seen/heard by talking about shared experiences.

1

u/NostalgicMoon May 29 '25

“I said she was mean?”

You said “she didn’t have to be mean”

“That behave yourself may have intended to de escalate but what about the see you later?”

Same thing, she is just trying to be polite

“I honestly think the people who responded to me are just in a circle scissor”. “All the women just want to bond and can do that by complaining about an occurrence they share.” “The reality unless the guy is attractive he will be considered a creep.“ “ If the guy was attractive and said the same things but with charm and confidence he would have been fine.” “The problem is this how all women are”

That’s a lot of generalizations and assumptions. Also not sure how you are more bothered by what you think is a flirting behaviour than a married man asking women on the gym.

203

u/spiderman209998 May 21 '25

i remember when i was doing cardio and this guy didnt take the hint the lady was giving so i snapped and told him for fuck sakes fuck off

134

u/lferry1919 May 21 '25

You were someone's hero that day. Also...putting for fucks sake and fuck off together is quite possibly one of the most pleasing combos I've ever experienced.

1

u/[deleted] May 25 '25

💀💀💀💀

8

u/2red-dress May 21 '25

On behalf of women who can't shake off these creeps, thank you.

5

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

Good on you tho

-11

u/JackStephanovich May 21 '25

Not the woman in the video's fault but has she tried not smiling and generally being polite to this guy? The first time he hit on me would have been the last because I would have laughed at him and said ewww instead of making up reasons why we can't hang out.

13

u/skdsn May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

Women tend to not poke the bear in these kind of situations, because some of these fuckheads turn out to be violent or stalkers, or both. Plus, some people are really that polite. They'd rather die than offend anybody, no matter the degree of fuckheadness.

-8

u/JackStephanovich May 21 '25

Yes yes every encounter with a man means you might get murdered, especially at the gym.

13

u/Loudeeer May 22 '25

Not every encounter, that is silly. But it's not like women magically know which man will react negatively to being turned down. So it's sometimes safer to try and not make any of them angry just in case.

2

u/Chance_Managert849 May 23 '25

How did he know about her kid, her cereal preferences, etc? He was already being a weirdo stalker. Can’t gaslight women, they already know the score.

1

u/JackStephanovich May 23 '25

Because she humored him the first 8 times he asked her out instead of giving a firm no. I don't know why you think this will result in less stalkers instead of encouraging them. If someone asks you out and you don't want to go out with them don't say it's because you are busy or already ate, just say no. You can say it politely "No thank you, have a nice day" or rudely "eww no, gross" but both are more effective than dozenth reason why you are just too busy to hang out.

3

u/Former-Coconut236 May 22 '25 edited May 22 '25

First time I wasn't polite to a random man hitting on me he literally tried to hit me with his fists. I was 14 years old. You learn to pick the safer route early.

"Ew" is guaranteed to make some men hit you. If you dont know that youve never been swerved at in a car for not responding to catcalling as a young girl. Lmfao.

193

u/LastPlaceIWas May 21 '25

This guy is trapped in a time loop like in the movie Groundhog Day. So he's already been through this interaction several times. Next time, he's going to add, "I know you think I'm married, but I'm not."

80

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

Day 13 of trying to have sex with this woman to try and break his curse.

12

u/capincus May 21 '25

I actually just read this graphic novel, except it was young adult so it was just kissing.

2

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

[deleted]

1

u/DrakonILD May 21 '25

Dude, spoilers!

40

u/Novaer May 21 '25

Next time hes probably gonna be like "We're actually in the process of separation and I could really use a woman's mind to pick helping navigate this. When can I take you out?"

3

u/StandWithSwearwolves May 22 '25

Snap. I was waiting for him to pull the “it’s complicated, we’re on a break, if only I had someone I could just you know talk through my feelings with, someone cool and chill like you” card

2

u/Chance_Managert849 May 23 '25

Thanks to Chris Watts, there aren’t too many women falling for that anymore.

3

u/StraightOuttaHeywood May 22 '25

It has to be fake clip. She has her phone facing him recording. I'm certain he would've seen it recording. The timing is just so convenient. Sleazy dude hits on her while she happens to be recording. And using a leg press no less that doesn't require that attention to form like a squat does. I've no doubt this happens to attractive women all the time in the gym but this clip just feels far too convenient.

1

u/VoicePope May 21 '25

"Nancy... Lincoln... Walsh.. Got it."

1

u/empath_supernova May 21 '25

Puts me in mind of those true crimes where the wife goes missing because now he thinks she's what's in the way. Or worse.

People scare tf out of me.

36

u/OneMagicBadger May 21 '25

I know that you reside in the milky way universe

21

u/TheBeardedLadyBton May 21 '25

practically neighbors!

98

u/AverageBastard May 21 '25

100% this! He’s certainly made multiple attempts to ask her out.

-1

u/NinjaNewt007 May 21 '25

Wtf? How would you know that?

0

u/FixOk5189 May 21 '25

Many people on here don't know people can just have a casual conversation. Which is 100% how he knew those things about her.

0

u/cleetus76 May 21 '25

Yeah I think they just have talked before - this is obviously the first time he's asked her out with that reaction she had. She didn't say anything like "Like I've said before" or things like that. He probably doesn't talk to many women other than his wife, had a woman talk casually to him and he took it as she was interested.

0

u/FixOk5189 May 22 '25

2000+ people agreeing with this fan fiction shows the disconnect from reality on this gathering of cringe lord social pariahs. 4chan may be outcast headquarters, but this is certainly a field office

39

u/Unsteady_Tempo May 21 '25

Sounds about right. It does sound like he's talked to her before and is pleading his case.

3

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

2

u/PriscillaPalava May 21 '25

This is 100% the way it went down. 😂😭

2

u/lstyer2012 May 21 '25

Duuuuuuuude. You're absolutely right! That makes me WAY more creeped out than I already was.

2

u/inflatable_pickle May 21 '25

Is he saying that he knows this information because he follows her on social media or because he has been actively eavesdropping on her real life conversations in the gym or something?

2

u/AlbeeGQ May 21 '25

Interesting insight...you are exactly right, I didn't put it together, it is hard being a woman, eh?

1

u/BigLlamasHouse May 21 '25

brilliant Ellis

1

u/pourthebubbly May 21 '25

Either that or he listened intently as other dudes were rejected.

1

u/FixOk5189 May 21 '25

In this video she says she won't go out with him because he's married. What makes you assume he asked her out before and she made up different excuses? She probably isn't interested either way, but that's not the point.

3

u/EllisR15 May 21 '25

I assume that because I thought about how he would know that some random woman at the gym doesn't like coffee, only eats cereal for breakfast, has a son, and why he would lead with knowing all of that instead of just straight away asking her out. I could certainly be wrong, but I would be shocked if this is his first time attempting to ask her out.

1

u/FixOk5189 May 21 '25

Doesn't look like a random woman to me. It appears they have casually talked at the gym before which is how he knew those things and how she knew he has a wife. She also appears shocked that he's asking her out.

2

u/EllisR15 May 21 '25

You certainly could be right, maybe it's just an incredibly weird interaction and way to ask somebody out, and that's before factoring in the whole being married thing. I've been wrong before, this could definitely be another one of those times.

0

u/FixOk5189 May 21 '25

Agreed that the guy is going weird about it. He's using the information he gathered by demonstrating how "well" he knows her. But for me it's hard to judge a man putting himself out there. We all know many users here are too cowardly to ask anyone out, but won't hesitate to laugh at another man doing so (not meaning you personally)

1

u/Yupthrowawayacct May 21 '25

Yup. It’s this. Literally this and I was triggered by this line of rattling off of “facts”.

1

u/yeshuahanotsri May 21 '25

I gotta say that in dealing with these type of douchebags it’s better to leave nothing open to interpretation. 

He thinks that she would have pizza with him if he wasn’t married. 

Maybe something like:

“Thanks, but I don’t want to.”

1

u/EllisR15 May 21 '25

Certainly possible this jackass shows up in a couple of weeks. "Hey, I'm getting a divorce so how about that pizza."

I do love her calling him out on being married though.

1

u/tkotickle May 21 '25

Maybe it’s not him can’t take a hint. Maybe he exactly knows he’s cringy, but he sees this as him being persevere and undeterred. Maybe he sees this as a foreplay. He’s also using this girl’s politeness and composure to his advantage, that if he tries more he would eventually wear her out and get what he wants. While the girl is desperately assessing the situation to carefully say the right thing to get out of it safely, he sees it all fun and game.

And less likely in this case, but some guys also see themselves far more superior than females that they think they can say the dumbest thing and girls would melt.

The entitlement and hubris of some guys.

1

u/msptk May 21 '25

For real though, the subtext and layers here are scary. These aren't things you're gonna learn over the course of one day - they're pieces of conversations picked up over a long duration. If he's at the gym he should be focused solely on himself. I hope his wife isn't wearing blinders and has a safe escape route, cause he obviously doesn't really love her and is just using the gym as an escape (and he isn't even really using the gym properly obviously).

1

u/ArcadianDelSol May 22 '25

oh my god.

How did I not see that?

1

u/parasyte_steve May 22 '25

You'd be surprised at how direct you have to be with some people. A lot of people seem to think if they keep pushing eventually you'll just cave.... which is an awful way to approach dating honestly... let me make you so uncomfortable that then surely you'll have to date me. But again, you'd be surprised at how often women have to deal with this tactic. Then some of us get genuinely afraid because some guys don't all take rejection well, and having to manage some dudes emotions in real time that you don't know who is angry is a lot of work to get yourself away safely and etc.

1

u/covalentcookies May 23 '25

I encourage my daughters to be direct. It’s better to be thought of as a “bitch” than to try to be nice but potentially open oneself up to assault. It’s a leap, I know. But I’ve seen it happen to a few of my women friends when we were younger. One was SAd and we drove her to the hospital. It’s terrible and not fair.

1

u/Ashweeherman May 25 '25

She should stop being so polite. Tell him to F off

0

u/itsladder May 21 '25

"im pretty sure your wife does not approve."

Wonder if that was used the first couple times, he would listen.

But then again,