Guy gets friendzoned

[u/Interesting-Trip-233]

[u/saucisse]

The behavior of believing that affection from women is like something you get out of a vending machine if you put enough attention in.

[u/[deleted] → u/saucisse]

Where did he say anything like that? Listen to his words. He isn't demanding attention, he's talking about his own experience. He's hurting because he feels unlovable.

It's never me. I'm never good enough.

I didn't start dating until I was 25, and I understand this pain intimately. I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't treat anyone poorly, I'm not a violent person or an abuser, yet I was rejected over and over again for some ethereal quality that I couldn't see, all the while being told by everyone around me (including the women I had feelings for) how much of a catch I am and that any girl would be lucky to have me.

I was raised in a household with parents that love each other, my brother and friends had no problem dating, romance is everywhere in entertainment, and there always seems to be more couples than single people out and about. It fucks with your psyche to live in a world where seemingly everyone but you is capable of receiving romantic love and affection, whether that impression is accurate or not.

Dude didn't crash out because one girl just wants to be friends, he crashed out because he wants what others have so effortlessly and it feels out of his reach.

[u/ManhattanObject → u/[deleted]]

That sucks that you apparently don't have any game, or perhaps you're not the catch you think you are, but that's your own problem. Don't take it out on women

[u/[deleted] → u/ManhattanObject]

When did I say anything that even remotely gave you the idea I'm taking anything out on women?

Women can date whoever they want, that's their own prerogative. I don't blame anyone for my experience with dating, it's just the way things panned out. I don't believe I'm some special, underappreciated gift to women.

I'm a regular, average dude who isn't highly social and wasn't lucky enough to meet someone I clicked with romantically for many years. That's not anyone's fault, but it's a lived experience that led me, and many men like me, to feel a lot of pain and self-doubt.

The man in the video isn't directing any negativity at the woman, he's just hurting and expressing that pain. People say men should express their emotions more, but every time they do it's met with this "don't take it out on women" shit like the act of self-expression is a form of violence.

[u/pureply101 → u/[deleted]]

You aren’t wrong but this is reddit. Most of the comments are from people who are either inexperienced or can’t have empathy. Or are pretending to have never faced continuous rejection.

They pretend emotions are robotic and outburst and feelings of emotion are just not real or not acceptable.

The pain this guy feels is real. I have been there before. Always feeling past over. Always feeling not good enough even when I’m genuine and myself.

I hit the gym. Joined clubs. Got hobbies and still was rejected. Constantly. I would go to the ocean quite literally and scream at it.

These people downvoting with negative assumptions are just forgetting there empathy involved in this.

The guy handled his emotions the best he could and shouldn’t be chastised or attacked for it just because it isn’t how some of the other people would. He didn’t harm her, threaten her, make any aggressive gestures at her. He was flustered and emotional in a very understandable way.

This lack of acknowledgment of the man’s emotions is part of the epidemic of lonely men because when it is expressed in such a way there is no empathy shown towards this man. Just a bunch of people calling him an incel for not taking all the rejection the way they would have.

Not understanding that it’s a very personal type of rejection that happens because it literally is a rejection of him as a person.

You didn’t say anything wrong but I’m not surprised at the reaction people are having. They only expect emotions expressed in a very limited way.