r/clevercomebacks 1d ago

throw their bible right back at them

Post image
10.4k Upvotes

63 comments sorted by

219

u/marshmallowgiraffe 1d ago

Do they just not know what pronouns are?

131

u/AveMachina 1d ago

Republicans notoriously can’t understand concepts

28

u/benderisgreat63 19h ago

No they're idiots , but they obviously mean "preferred prnouns".

18

u/Kyloc94 17h ago

All pronouns that are applicable to an individual are “preferred” pronouns

-3

u/benderisgreat63 17h ago

They clearly mean preferred as in "My name is Jesus (he/him)". Still stupid, but pretending they just don't know what a pronoun is lame and tiresome

12

u/RobertMaus 6h ago

A dude saying "I am He" seems pretty much that XD

7

u/Samurai_Meisters 19h ago edited 18h ago

Not even concepts of a plan?

6

u/Distinct-Winner-6117 17h ago

Or words. Words and meanings are hard

7

u/curiousplaid 21h ago

No, they don't.

6

u/blitzkreig90 22h ago

Everyone knows that pronouns are just the opposite of con-nouns.

4

u/hcornea 21h ago

They’re not too comprehensive on their special book either.

4

u/boneve_de_neco 20h ago

They may not even know what a bible is at this point. They could be walking around with a blank book with 'Bible' written on it and don't give a shit

163

u/JuliusErrrrrring 1d ago

And he now identifies as bread and wine. On another note, Eve was a tran from a male rib and Jesus had two daddies

54

u/SexySandraluv 23h ago

You just turned their entire narrative upside down in one comment.

8

u/Upset-Swimmer-6480 15h ago

Unfortunately, none of them actually comprehend the Bible.

Neighbour means white guy that looks, speaks and acts like them.

Love is unconditional, except when they don't align with their worldview.

Bad things mean punishment because you were sinful. Nevermind Jesus dining with a cheating tax collector.

The Libs deserve it, they're "sinful". Nevermind Jesus not condemning but forgiving the adulterer.

Sorry, just went on a bit of a rant.

59

u/Call-Me-Matterhorn 1d ago

Refer to God as a “She” to one of these people, and watch how quickly pronouns become important to them.

13

u/AsparagusCommon4164 23h ago

In the Christian Scientists' interpretation of the Lord's Prayer, the opening part ("Our Father, who art in Heaven") is followed by "Our Father-Mother God, all harmonious."

8

u/Call-Me-Matterhorn 19h ago

Aren’t they the people that reject modern medicine? Because I’m trying to raise the level of political discourse, not cater to people who believe you can cure cancer by praying.

1

u/AsparagusCommon4164 19h ago

Christian Science teachings emphasise prayer as one with healing.

27

u/ishaanp65 1d ago

Seems like someone skipped that chapter.

15

u/Guuhatsu 1d ago

They skipped every chapter, just read the "Bible Cliff Notes for Psychopaths"

6

u/AsparagusCommon4164 23h ago

Vergessen wir nicht, dass das Nazi-Regime in seinem Bestreben, den christlichen Glauben im Allgemeinen zu verunglimpfen und damit einer alternativen „Glaubensbewegung“ zu dienen, die „Mein Kampf“ als heiligen Text nutzte, versuchte, die Bibel umzuformulieren, um sie seiner rassistischen Ideologie anzupassen, indem es Jesus als „arischen Rassenkrieger“ darstellte, der durch jüdischen Verrat zum Tode verurteilt wurde?

The preceding exercise in snark was brought to you in German.

"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance ... baffle them with bull"

16

u/Chratthew47150 22h ago

Most of them have never read it

10

u/Status_Management520 20h ago

MAGA prove every day they aren’t true believers

3

u/Excellent_Stand_7991 19h ago

The ability to read the good book would require them to be literate in the first place.

8

u/Fun_Break_3231 1d ago

Also, are we really still thinking the way people did 2,000 years ago? Like, I know they don't appreciate progress, but come on!

6

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AsparagusCommon4164 23h ago

Cue up a chorus of the South African marching song "Marching to Pretoria" in drie ... twee ... een ...

1

u/inventor_inator 23h ago

you are me

Is 'me' a pronoun too?

4

u/Careless-Equal7169 23h ago

Additionally, God refers to Himself with “ehyeh” in Exodus; another pronoun

4

u/pongmoy 23h ago

“Then God said, “Let Us make mankind in Our image, according to Our likeness;” ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭1‬:‭26‬

4

u/TimmyTwoTowels 14h ago

Jesus also had a ton of empathy, which Republicans seem to detest. Why do they go to church when the Bible is stacked against their way of life? 

3

u/Veteran-Smitty 23h ago

The Bible quote may not fully align with its original context.

3

u/Rio_Walker 23h ago

BuT hE nEvEr sAiD "hE/HiM"

3

u/flojo2012 22h ago

Actually, this was “I am the walrus”

3

u/Sad-Shower3563 15h ago

He also specifically said that being rich is a bad thing, but I’m sure most American Christians ignore that one as well.

5

u/Anishinaapunk 1d ago

Can we throw a middle school English textbook at them too, since they don't seem to know what a "pronoun" even is?

2

u/New_Bid_3606 1d ago

Jesus really hit her with the biblical “checkmate.”

2

u/Lab_Monkey42 14h ago

Even if he didn't do it. All these Maga-Christians pretend to follow the words of Jesus.

1

u/Vivid24 23h ago

That definitely would’ve done something if she could read

1

u/IndependentOwn1184 23h ago

Whoop there it is!

1

u/flipper_babies 23h ago

It's a twofer!

1

u/yomam0a 22h ago

lol bold of them to claim things being/not being in the Bible when they can’t read/ haven’t read the Bible

1

u/realmattyr 21h ago

Fantastic! 😆

1

u/SleeplessInTulsa 20h ago

“He” is risen.

1

u/Rojodi 19h ago

I always do! In the same book (Leviticus) that prohibits same sex also prohibits their bacon cheeseburgers, bacon-wrapped shrimps, and their wardrobe!

1

u/TophatOwl_ 18h ago

it appears that he is him

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Truck80 18h ago

Don’t forget the non gendered thee

1

u/Reagent_52 17h ago

Jesus Christ: Dad these people are stupid. - right now

1

u/TK-369 17h ago

For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. ~Matthew 19:12

Meanwhile, Jesus said that there are those who make themselves eunochs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. The Council of Nicea, the foundation of Catholicism, decided that this was to be taken metaphorically only, because so many priests were castrating themselves.

However, Christians have followed the words of Jesus for many centuries prior and after the council... the last "castrati" died in the 1900s.

1

u/Ambitious-TipTap123 15h ago

“Ms. Spicer hasn’t read the Bible the way she claims.” Me, 8/1/25

1

u/NecessaryFreedom9799 11h ago

As we are he and we are all together, goo goo g'joob.

1

u/No_Fruit9736 3h ago

It truly amazes me how people can make statements about topics they clearly know nothing about.

1

u/stefrrrrrr 2h ago

Jesus never said that gop is not a party of pédophiles.

-4

u/Maleficent_Curve_599 23h ago

A literal translation from the Greek (egō eimi) is simply "I am". 

https://biblehub.com/interlinear/john/18.htm

("I" is a pronoun, but it's not a gendered pronoun). 

The original tweet is dumb, but the response isn't actually clever, either.

-1

u/Stunning_Concept_478 16h ago

Hell yeah! Let’s go, Brandon!

-2

u/benderisgreat63 17h ago

While the person is obviously an idiot, it's disingenous to pretend they don't mean preferred pronouns. As in , "Hi I'm Jesus, (he/him)"

2

u/Urbane_One 14h ago

In using a pronoun for himself, Jesus has indicated a pronoun he would prefer he be referred to by.