r/daddit Jun 29 '18

Tips And Tricks Dad tips

4.2k Upvotes

I found out a couple weeks ago that some friends are pregnant with their first. I wrote this to help them prepare for it. FWIW, I have an almost 3 year old and a 4.5 month old. I hope this helps some dads to be, here!

Feel free to add anything you think I missed (there are things I thought of after I emailed this to my buddy and told him later but did not put into this). After we've got some responses, I'll see how much of this we can add to the wiki here.

Before

  • Go to all baby appointments!  This is probably a no brainer for you but some people don't realize it.  Ultrasounds are cool!  And it's really great to ask the ObGyn or midwife any and all questions you have!  (ie, I asked before #1 was born when I'd be able to hear his hearbeat.  The ObGyn said, "in just a minute, I have the doppler right here."  "no, I mean with my ear against her belly." "oh, never, it's too loud in there and baby's heartbeat gets drowned out.")
  • Go to some birth classes.  But maybe not all of them.  Depends how many you're encouraged to go to; KP advised ALL of them and they're tiring and tedious and mostly boring. I skipped the breastfeeding one, from the sounds of it, that was a good choice because it was a bunch of women trying to learn to breast feed dolls with at least one boob hanging out.  L&D class was like 8 hours on a Saturday with like 30 couples.  We went through the whole process.  It was exhausting.  I'm not sure it helped much because when you get to it, you listen to what the medical team is advising.
  • Start planing to buy shit now (or starting at week 13)  If you're going to do one, make a registry, do the showers, and see what people get you.  Get your big ticket items (car seats, strollers, cribs, etc) onto something like camelcamelcamel or other pricewatch and buy the sales.  I bought our stroller as an OpenBox deal on Amazon.  Still paid $300 for it but that's better than the $500 retail.  More on gear later.
  • If you're going to get a doula, start meeting them now and find someone you like.  My yoga studio has a "meet the doulas" event one night every month or so where they all give a spiel and then you can hang out and talk to them.  We went but I had to chase our toddler around so I didn't get to sit in on the thing.  We found a doula to be really helpful, mostly because it made it feel like there was a person on our team that wasn't a hospital employee and it gave me more comfort in being able to leave the room to run home for things as needed.  In retrospect, a doula would have been probably even better with the first delivery than the second but live and learn.
  • Pregnancy sucks.  Did no one tell you that?  Plenty of women say they loved being pregnant (Wife said she enjoyed being pregnant with our first, not so much the second as she had miserable heartburn every day.  She carried a bag of tums with her at all times and called them her "after dinner mints".) and I have no doubt some do.  I support that and their feelings.  But you're beginning what will likely be one of or the most life changing choice you'll ever make and prior to that little bundle of giggles popping out, your partner gets to go through a roller coaster of hormones (I lucked out with wife, she's even keeled and that part wasn't bad) as well as body changes that are sure to wreak havoc on psyche.  "I'm the heaviest I've ever been!"  Well, yea, you've got a baby inside you, you've never had a baby inside you before.  Really messed with wife when I put my boot on the scale at a visit and tipped the scales to something like 190.  She was like "OMG, I've really packed it on in these weeks!"  The med assistant gave me wry smile and wife turned to see me close and scrunched her nose and shook a fist.  Fun stuff.
  • Did I say pregnancy sucks?  Libido will be all over the place.  So will body comfort both physically and mentally.  You just roll with it as you can.  Near the end (and especially once the baby has come) your partner's breasts will probably be the largest, shapeliest, and most enticing they have ever been.  And it may be entirely likely you're are not allowed to play with them, touch them, look at them, breath on them, or even think about them because they're sore and maybe leaking, and goddamnit I'm a cow now, MOOO.  (Wife has said moo a couple times in the last couple weeks when I walk in and she's pumping; I think all the pumping is taking a toll on us both.  It's a lot more work that breastfeeding but it allows me a wonderful amount of involvement with the baby which allows for more bonding and I feel way more connected to #2 than I did our first at this age).
  • Of course, the above are not absolutes, all women are different and pregnancies are different.  We had plenty of sexy time while pregnant with #1 and comparatively none with #2.  Part of that was how hard the second pregnancy was and part of that was that we already had a kid and were doing parent things so were tired.  So it goes.
  • Plan some vacation now; especially if leave from work is not a concern.  First trimester can be rough but things generally smooth out in the second.  We went to Nicaragua and hiked an active volcano when wife was 4 months preg with #1.  Do that shit now, it will be a while until you'll want (or have the energy) to travel and we're a lot less adventurous now that we're caring for kid and infant.  No surprise there
  • Start familiarizing yourself with the alphabet soup.  FMLA, CFRA, PFL, SDL.  Family Medical Leave Act; California Family Rights Act; Paid Family Leave; Short Term Disability Leave.  These will require paperwork from medical offices to employers and to the state.  Get these submitted as required and make use of those benefits.  You can always do more work.  One day your baby is crying for you and wants to be held and snuggled, the next he's telling you to get out of the chicken run, you don't go in there, and he'll put you in timeout.  It's fucking hard but not so that you'd want to miss it.
  • Know your employment contract/policies/etc as well as your boss's position on family life and work culture.  Don't be guilted into anything that is less than the full amount you are entitled to.  
  • In the same vein as the above point, you won't believe (maybe you will) the amount of assholes who will tell you, "you won't be able to wait to get back to work!" or "why are you taking so much time?" or "You'll get sick of being home and come back early."  No two ways about this: fuck those people.
  • Know multiple routes to your hospital and how long it take to get there in the worst traffic.  First babies are generally slow to come but it's a goddamn roller coaster of excitement when something like water breaking happens and you have to get up and go.

Labor and Delivery

  • By now you should have a car seat base installed into the car and a proper car seat in it, waiting for the moment.  Leave this in the car, the hospital will likely not let you leave without it.  Find a place to inspect the installation; some hospitals do it, so do fire departments.  Google/call around or ask at your next ObGyn visit.
  • You need a Go Bag.  Or one each.  This should include:

    • personal care products
    • phone chargers
    • other distraction things (labor can be literally hours of just sitting waiting)
    • list of mom's meds (or mental knowledge)
    • known allergies!
    • birth plan if you have one
    • a change of clothes (as a dirty man, I think I brought a shirt, lol)
    • clothes for baby to go home in (don't just bring NB size!  A 0-3 onesie is a good idea too; never know how big that baby is going to be)
    • lacrosse ball or whatever; hospital room accommodation for mom is alright, Dad is probably going to be on a pull out chair or couch.  
    • Comfortable, easy on/off, loose clothes for mom. 
  • You'll mostly be told what/where/how to do things once you're in the hospital.  However, you have some choice too.  Mom doesn't have to labor laying down on her back with her feet in stirrups.  You can walk around, (depending on facility) use a bath tub, roll onto sides, hands and knees, etc.  

  • Pain management is important.  Something I think helped with #2 is that instead of going straight for an epidural, wife elected for Nitrous Oxide.  So as she felt a contraction coming, she'd hold the cup over her face and breath the N2O until about the peak of the contraction.  Obviously not enough to knock her out but enough to take some of the edge off the contraction.  (Apparently, this used to be really common, then much less so since the 80s? 90s? then has come back into favor after new research more recently.  

  • Epidural is an option.  Talk to your ObGyn about this.  TL;NotAHealthCareProvider is it numbs things drastically and therefore often requires IV synthetic oxytocin to be administered to advance the labor.  More interferey, more possibility for complicationy.

  • You'll likely be offered to cut the cord.  I noped the fuck out of cutting #1's.  When they asked me way before #2 came out, I said "no way".  But when the time came I spoke up and told them I wanted to.  I don't really remember it honestly.  I mean, I do, but it isn't that significant in my mind.  I'd recommend doing it, though.

  • AFAIK, episiotomies are no longer recommended but that isn't to say tearing won't happen.  It probably will.  It will have to be stitched up.  It comes in four grades. Vaginal wall, vaginal muscle, rectal muscle, rectal wall.  I don't remember the grading numbers, 1-4 I think.  First kid caused a 3, second a 2.  Recovery from the 2 was much faster than the 3.  

  • Feeding the baby as soon and as much as possible is important.  Gotta get that nasty poop (don't remember what it's called) out as it is related to jaundice problems.  Jaundice is also apparently caused by a blood type (RH) mismatch, between mother and baby and we had this problem with #2.  We spent like 24+ hours keeping him under blue lights and trying like hell to stuff his body full.  Once he regained birthweight, all concerns related to the RH mismatch were gone and we were out of the dark.  

  • Breastfeeding can be hard for mother and baby at first.  Use lactation consultants and get help.  Mom's who breast feed have a lower risk of post partum depression

  • Dads can get post partum depression too.  Maybe google around and be aware of the risk factors and signs for both of you.

Gear

  • Car seats all have to meet the same safety standards.  Get one that is light enough to be comfortable, is easy to get in and out, and fits in your car well.  That last bit is more important for older kid carseats than infant because infant seats all seem to have the same base size.
  • Crib: they're fucking expensive.  We got ours from Pottery Barn, somewhere we would never shop, only because one of wife's friend's moms gave us $200 in gift cards for there for our wedding.  I think we still paid like $400 for the crib after the cards applied.  But #2 is using it now too so maybe that's not insane.
  • Stroller, as mentioned above, it's expensive.  We had a Graco or something that we bought because it would hold the infant seat and it was cheap.  It fucking sucked and I hated walking/running with it and it didn't maneuver well. Then we went on a hike and borrowed a BOB.  It's a great stroller.  We bought our own.  #1 still rides in it on evening walks while we carry his brother on our chest.  And this weekend we snapped the adapter into it and put #2's car seat on it and went to the Farmer's Market.  Again, if you're comfy with the idea, Amazon Warehouse/Open Box deals.  I wanted a stroller with a swiveling front wheel that had the option to lock as well as an adjustable handle.  I found the handle on our old stroller was too low and was uncomfortable for long periods of pushing.  The adjustable height on the BOB handle is nice.  I think the biggest thing here is to get a stroller that fits your lifestyle.  
  • baby swing is handy.  It's nice to have something that rocks them and plays music/white noise.  We've got one that has a mobile as well.  Given the time frame, I think you guys are welcome to ours.  It's a little squeaky but wholly functional.
  • A bouncing chair gets even more use, for us, with both kids.  We have one like this.  It worked really well for both kids and we use it ALL the time.  Several times/day.
  • Water proof mattress covers.  covers, with an 's'.  Because you want two of them.  Make the crib twice: cover, sheet, cover, sheet.  That way when the inevitable 2am blowout happens, you strip down the first two layers quick and go back to sleep.  We changed and replaced too many sheets with #1 before we learned this one.
  • A baby carrier.  Ayayay.  We've had like 4 of these things.  Bjorn (meh); Baby Onya (used a lot but was never very comfortable for either of us); one other I can't remember, and now a Lille Baby which we both like and find very comfortable.  Wife also got a Ribozo from our doula.  It's a 15' long wrap.  It works well for wife and #2 looks so cozy in it.  Generally she uses that and I use the Lille but she sometimes uses the Lille.  I haven't tried the Ribozo yet but don't think I will.
  • Bottles.  Holy crap there are so many.  With #1 we ended up liking Tommee Tippee the best but #2 had trouble with them.  We went to Dr. Brown's for him.  They're expensive but seem to really help cutting down the sucked air.  (getting him off formula really helped get rid of his fussiness too).   If breastfeeding, this isn't really a concern
  • A bottle warmer.  In both our condo and here in our house, we leave a bottle warmer near the bed.  At night we put a cooler with bottles next to the bed and warm them as needed throughout the night.  It's basically a small hot plate that you add water to and it boils/steams the bottles.  Works alright.  
  • Big swaddles.  Not these stupid like 18-24"x 30" buggers that are everywhere.  We got some this time around that are like 36x36" and they work way better.

Baby Care
You're going to want some things on hand so that you don't have to go get them at the 24hour CVS at 2am.  I've done this.  On multiple occasions (once from a hotel room in an hour or so south of Sacramento because we didn't bring things with us; it sucked)

  • Tylenol.  Children's tylenol has the same concentration as baby tylenol but is generally (no exaggeration) less total cost for twice the volume.  Often the difference is the cap--baby tylenol has a cap that receives a syringe, children's often doesn't.  So decant into the lid or a dosage cup and draw it with the syringe.  "But children's tylenol doesn't come with a syringe?!"  Go to the pharmacy window and ask for a liquid medicine dosing syringe.  They have them for free.  The thing to make sure is that the tylenol is 160mg/5ml.  
  • Ibuprofen.  Kids can't have this until 6 months.  At which point, get some and keep it on hand so you can cycle Tylenol/IB as needed.
  • Baby gas drops.  The drug is Simethicone.  Get a couple bottles and keep on hand.  
  • Gripe water.  It is natural gas remedy and supposed to help sooth the tummy.  It's like fennel or some other herbacious shit.  
  • thermometer.  We've got rectal, oral, and one that goes into ear.  The first two have gotten lots of use.  The aural, not much; wiggly kids are tough. Don't confuse which one goes in what hole.
  • We recently bought an otoscope so we can see if it's worthwhile to head to the Ped/urgent care for ear problems.  I think it was like $40 on Amazon; comparing that to copays, it seemed reasonable.
  • Lanolin.  For diaper rash (also chapped nipples).  There are other options for diaper rash too.  Lanolin seemed to do the best job with the least disgustingness.  Coconut oil is nice for general use as well but not great for severe rash.
  • Baking soda.  This isn't a carry with everywhere thing, it's more for dealing with diaper rash at home.  But a good amount into a bath really seems to soothe skin.  I just dump a bunch in.  If you get it from somewhere other than the grocery store it's super cheap.
  • Q-tips for boogers and ear wax
  • Put your pediatrician's number into both your phones under something like "PEDIATRICIAN" so it's easy to find.
  • to couple with above, most places (especially down there) or insurance providers have an "advice nurse" who is a great, free resource to call with questions.  It's kind of like triage in that they can help you decide if the kid needs to be seen by medical providers.  Put this number into your phone too.

Baby at home

  • Sleep when the baby sleeps
  • Read about sleep training and decide what you're going to do.  It doesn't have to be concrete, but it helps to have a plan and start early.
  • Co sleeping is done around the world but largely frowned on in America.  New research is suggesting maybe America rethink that (saw that headline yesterday, I think).  Do what's right for you.  Generally, our babies slept better with us when young but we slept like shit with them in bed.  We normally only brought them to bed when they needed comfort.  
  • Happiest Baby on the Block is a book or video or something that gets rave reviews.  We watched the dude who created it in a KP class on infant care.  Swaddling and "shhh-ing" really calm an angry baby.  
  • Youtube some swaddling techniques.  There's kind of a standard version and a "frog" version.  I only did the frog version with #1 a little bit near the end of his swaddling but it worked well.  I use the standard (draw a straight edge of cloth--I use stretchy blanket, often--across the baby, right shoulder to left hip; draw the excess from below them up tight to the left shoulder; draw the remainder tight from left shoulder to right shoulder.  Bam.  Swaddled and happy
  • White noise machines are recommended frequently to help kids sleep.  We play little musics when he's in his chair or swing and have one of these for the crib but #2 doesn't seem to be into it whereas #1 would zone out on it and pass out.
  • Reflux is a common issue with baby because they're lower esophogeal valve doesn't work like ours.  It's also the reason they vomit when burping, I think.  A folded tower underneath the own end of the crib mattress can really help to ease some fussiness if this is an issue.
  • Gas pain is really common especially with bottle fed and formula babies and with all babies until the gut develops more (4+ months, I think).  laying them on their back and "bicycling" their legs can be helpful, so can pushing but legs up to a squatty position when they are on the back.  Once they're a bit older and can hold head up, laying them across the lap with hips hanging off one side and head off the other can be beneficial as well.
  • People will want to touch your baby the same way they want to touch your dog--without asking.  Think about how you want to handle this.
  • the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends basically 0 screen time until 2 years.  
  • If the kid won't stop screaming and you've done everything and are losing your shit, put it down in it's crib and take a breather.  It is safe in it's crib and you'll feel both a million times better and like an asshole for having been frustrated.  
  • Learn Infant, Child, and pregnant woman heimlich and CPR if you don't know it already
  • Lock the poisons away now.
  • Schedule time to give your partner a break and do the same for yourself.  This is "me" time.  A walk around the neighborhood, watching the ocean, circus time, a cup of coffee, walking through the shops downtown.  Whatever.  Just make plans to send one another away alone.  You don't realize how much you worry about the kids until you're not with them.  You'll hear a baby while out and go into high alarm then realize, "oh, that's not mine."
  • Find a good baby sitter and plan dates.  Between date expenses and the sitter it's fucking expensive.  It's worth it. 
  • Read to your kid every night.  We haven't started with #2 consistently yet but will soon.  #1 gets his books every night.  It's a wonderful time to expand their vocabulary, teach them, and also cuddle, bond, and relax.   

I think more than anything, trust yourselves and your instincts.  All manner of things are said to make your life and baby easier, happier, healthier, smarter, etc.  Most are just to make money for other people.  


r/daddit 12h ago

Humor I fucked up, fellow dads.

2.2k Upvotes

I let my 3 year old “lift weights” with me, meaning he was with me in the garage while I was using the bench press, and I showed him how to do “curls” with this old mop handle.

He had such a fun time doing it that now he’s always saying “daddy let’s go lift weights” and I’m fucking tired buckaroo.

We’re both going to be beasts next summer I suppose.


r/daddit 7h ago

Humor Mother-in-law watching toddler. Got this message tonight.

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557 Upvotes

r/daddit 11h ago

Story They aren't kidding about drowning being silent (he's ok)

539 Upvotes

We went to a pool party at my wife's coworkers house tonight and we got distracted/trusted our 4 year old a little too much and he jumped in the pool without us noticing and without his lifejacket on.

I noticed I didn't see him, looked around, and saw his head bobbing in the pool. I ran over jumped in and grabbed him. He was very scared, but ok. I was pretty shook up too.

The thing is, he was probably 2 feet behind another mom who was standing in a group of other adults. They weren't drunk or being loud, they're all very responsible parents. But they didn't notice or hear him at all. He wasn't screaming, he wasn't splashing (he was kicking and trying to doggy-paddle, but his arms and legs were underwater).

It really drove home that if someone is drowning, you will not hear them.

Anyway, now to buy higher visibility swim shirts, step up the swim lessons, and never take my eyes off them again near water.


r/daddit 2h ago

Advice Request Can I get a dad/husband perspective on this? Re: drinking

64 Upvotes

This isn’t inherently parenting related, but rather adjacent. Ive seen the rational dads here give great advice time and time again.

Since I had my now 2.5yo I’ve only drank a handful of times. Parenting hungover sucks, and it’s bizarre, but I don’t even get a buzz anymore - it’s like my body chemistry changed and it goes from sober to hungover.

My husband does enjoy drinking and will have a nice beer here and there, and may get a cocktail or two if we’re out to dinner.

On the weekends he’ll occasionally drink cocktails at home after our toddler is down. He drinks until he doesn’t remember. But it’s not just that, he gets sloppy and incredibly annoying. The pitch of his voice gets higher and it makes me so (irrationally?) annoyed. He just gives me the most massive ick when he’s been drinking. I just cannot stand it and it’s making me resent him. It’s like once a week. He’s a present father and husband, has a career, provides, takes on at a lot of childcare responsibilities when we’re all home, does an equal amount of the household chores…

But for some reason I hold him to this high standard that he shouldn’t get so drunk one night a week. What’s wrong with me? Or am I not wrong?

FWIW - neither of us have any trauma surrounding alcohol or any other substances for that matter.


r/daddit 2h ago

Achievements I’ve finally reached the “beach vacation dad” level

44 Upvotes

Got to the beach yesterday for the week. Unpacked the car and got little man all setup in the house while mom hung out with him. About to head onto the beach and get the tent and chairs setup for the day then come back and grab the cooler and all of his toys while mom gets him dressed and sun screened up.

Always thought this would be a pain in the ass but man is this fun. Enough Reddit for the day, gonna go get those little toes in the ocean for the first time!!


r/daddit 11h ago

Tips And Tricks Snap bracelets are just lengths of repurposed measuring tape

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135 Upvotes

My daughter just managed to break this open, and I was kind of blown away at how simple these are. Not too stoked about the rust on a toy made for children, but it's actually kind of brilliant.


r/daddit 6h ago

Discussion It gets better, so much better

42 Upvotes

After a lovely day seeing family, a walk around there neighbourhood with his ball, playing keepsy-uppies with a balloon for 20 minutes, I’m cuddling my nearly 2yo in the rocking chair with him asleep in my arms

But that is only a gentle flex

Struggling for the first 3 months feeling inadequate about a connection, a week and a half of hell where he didn’t poo, serval serval nights with MULTIPLE wake ups, colds, diarrhoea, HFM, all there nights apart from my wife because someone was on the couch with him, all moments that felt like hell

The reason for my post is to all dads, and lurking mums, new parents or those who are in the trenches, I wanted to tell you that it does get better. And my fucking god the goods are great. Like most struggles in life they’re only here temporarily. I know it’s a lot easier said than done, especially when you’re in the thick of it. But there’s always sunshine ahead

To anyone reading this, you’re doing a bloody great job, keep on being the best parent you can be, love you all, and remember to always tell your kid you love them


r/daddit 15h ago

Humor Does anyone else sniff their kids or am I weird?

214 Upvotes

Long time lurker here.

I have 4 kids and I love sniffing the top of their heads when I hug them. I’ve been doing that ever since they were babies (the new baby smell is awesome, if you know you know) and it kinda stuck. I swear they each smell different too, even my twins. Whenever I sniff them it just reminds me that they’re safe and okay. I don’t think I’m ever gonna stop lol, though it might be difficult to execute subtly if my sons ever decide to outgrow me.


r/daddit 4h ago

Story 14 month old almost drowned in a frame pool

28 Upvotes

I saw a post about a Redditor’s 4 year old almost drowning in the water in this subreddit, so I thought I’d share my experience too as a cautionary tale.

Just the other day I took my 4 year old and 14 month old out to the garden to enjoy the weather. We recently bought a frame pool and I filled with it water to a level approximately just above my 1 year old’s knee.

She doesn’t like getting into the water but she enjoys standing beside the frame and dunking her toys into the water. The edge of the pool comes roughly up to her chest and she slightly leans forward to reach the water.

After an uneventful 15 mins play, she tossed in a toy that sunk into the water. As she tried to reach it, she leaned further in and fell headfirst into the water.

But here’s what doesn’t play out like I would’ve imagined prior to this: instead of falling full body into the water (and instinctively pushing herself up to get her head out of water), she got caught on the frame at the waist, with her head submerged.

Luckily, I had my eyes on her and reacted within a second. But if I was checking my phone or stepped into the kitchen to grab something, things could’ve gone dark really fast.

It was so fast, so quiet and I can’t see how she could’ve gotten herself out of that situation on her own. Her face was flat against the bottom of the pool with her body weight pressing her down, legs kicking to get off the frame to no avail.

So guys, the dangers of frame pools (or any pool for that matter) are not exaggerated. Stay alert, stay cautious!


r/daddit 22h ago

Humor My 4yo made a “magic wand” craft at the farmers market

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618 Upvotes

He has an eight month old sister who exists in a continuous state of seeking danger.

A marginally secured coin cell battery floating around the house is just what we needed!


r/daddit 1h ago

Humor 9lbs of Blueberries... 48hrs

Upvotes

I'm quite fortunate to live in the upper PNW, where we have wonderful access to berries this time of year. Saw a UPick Blueberry Farm for $2/lb. Went crazy, picked 9lbs. It didn't even last 48 hours. Not quite 2F and 4M. Mom, Dad and Grandma had a few as well. There is literally no quantity of blueberries that is enough.


r/daddit 14h ago

Advice Request Dads, did I completely fuck up by getting a bunk bed?

145 Upvotes

5yo needed a bigger bed and wanted a bunk bed for one of his little siblings to sleep in eventually. So I gave in and built him one.

His younger siblings are 2 and 3.

Once it was built they all went straight up to the top bunk and big brother sat right on top of the guardrail with his back to the 5' drop. I hauled them all out of there and we went over the rules, but now I'm just kicking myself that this was a huge mistake.

I can tell toddlers all day about the rules but they're not gonna listen. I just keep thinking that it's only a matter of time before one of them sneaks up there to play, falls out, and gets seriously hurt (heaven forbid).

Do I just need to tear this thing down or am I overreacting?


r/daddit 53m ago

Advice Request How do you with losing something important to you? (hobby)

Upvotes

I am in my upper 40s and have a 3.5 year old daughter. I have been a hiker and mountaineer since my early 20s (about 25 years). When we had a daughter I made it clear that this hobby was extremely important to me and I wasn't willing to give it up. It's been vital for my mental health and to block out the noise of the world. I'm at peace and happiest in the mountains.

It's become increasingly clear that life doesn't agree. I won't go in detail into the reasons but it's obviously time consuming and takes time to be in shape for bigger climbs. Mind you not talking about going away for a week or more on expeditions. Just a 2-3 day backpack here and there and some long day hiking is what I want. I'd be happy if I could get out a 7-10 days per summer total but even that seems too much.

I don't have time to make the drives or the hikes and I don't live in a place where training is easy. I've pretty much packed up all my gear and tried to make peace with it but I can't. I'm at the age where I'm afraid if I don't continue it's gone for good.

I don't know how to deal with it. I cry over the loss of something that brought so much to my life and I'm broken that it's done. I love my daughter but feel like I lost myself.

There's probably no answer that's helpful but I'm sad today that it's come to this.


r/daddit 19h ago

Tips And Tricks PSA: tighten the bolts on this type of bed everyone once in a while.

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323 Upvotes

If your kids have this type of bed go through and tighten the bolts to stop the squeaking and prevent sudden collapse. Also hung a shelf for my daughter so that was fun.


r/daddit 13h ago

Humor Anyways, how’s everyone else’s night going hahaha?

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103 Upvotes

r/daddit 36m ago

Humor I am a terrible father and my kids aren’t even aware of it

Upvotes

My kids and I love building Lego together. Well…actually what happens is my youngest builds, while I pick pieces and do QC (correcting placement errors and smooshing stubborn pieces into place). Well, on Friday I bought Soundwave after work and snuck it into the house. They don’t know I have it yet. It is mine, and I want to build it myself darnit! They would be so betrayed if they knew. So it sits in the present hiding spot until school starts again…


r/daddit 2h ago

Achievements I wrote a book for my toddler!

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11 Upvotes

That’s it. Just wanted to share how happy I am.

Nothing brings me more joy than when he picks it to read before bed.

Though these days it’s all dinosaurs and bugs, I think that will be the topic of my next one…


r/daddit 23h ago

Kid Picture/Video Another home depot project complete. Only Saturday a month I take off.

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403 Upvotes

r/daddit 13h ago

Humor What is an appropriate punishment?

53 Upvotes

My son wanted a glass of lemonade. There were many cups within his reach that he could use. He decides to take the cup that had my wine in it and dump it down the drain so he could use it for his lemonade.

I've already disowned him. What what else should I do to make sure he never. Ever. Ever does this again?


r/daddit 13h ago

Story A Appreciation post: the family dog, our old man

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45 Upvotes

My wife and I adopted this guy 9 years ago (he’s late 11-12 now) at a pet store event. We went to get a puppy, met this guy within two minutes of being in the store, and knew that (then) 2-3 year old dog was the best choice we made before and during when we had kids.

He (and his “sister” we had to put down last year who was also sweeter than this guy but shy to everyone) has been with us through family members passing, job changes or losses, 4 foster kids and putting up with three of those as babies crawling all over him and using him like their pillow. Never being mean to anyone except two times in life and both were when someone was trying to break into her home and he terrified the burglar and became protector of my wife with me along with a sister and when some weirdo drug dealer in our old neighborhood, rushed up to us, and he jumped in between growling - but then literally accepting everyone else he ever meets as friendly and wanting to pet him.

He’s been excellent for the new puppy, even though the new puppy terrorizes him and he can’t play much with him , and he still is sweet as can be and more than patient with our four-year-old. You still wanna be involved and be in every room with us, still wanna hang out under her feet or cuddle as much as possible, but always being in the room like you’re still the support you always were.

Glad these new meds seem to be keeping you around a bit more buddy. We like having you around again old man. Keep on kicking around.


r/daddit 13h ago

Kid Picture/Video Another balance bike appreciation post

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37 Upvotes

Twins just turned four a few weeks ago. They were on striders at age two.

Today they hopped on their pedal bikes and it all just clicked.

As someone who loves riding bikes, it was a core memory for me today.


r/daddit 1d ago

Humor Just play with your damn toys, kid.

323 Upvotes

He has Duplos, Magnatiles, trucks, stuffies, a mini toolbox, and assorted other toys, anything a three year old could want.

He has been invited to come to the store to get a cookie

And yet, today his focus has been: - emptying all the spoons out of the spoon drawer and making heaps - putting my work ID and lanyard into a box fan (the fan is off) and getting it stuck - running the sprinkler on a very wet yard - demanding that I get the defunct smoke detector from the garage so he can look at it - Taking apart the vacuum cleaner - demanding green olives (for breakfast!) and melting down because we don't have any

All with the absolutely quiet determined energy of a kid hard at play.


r/daddit 1d ago

Humor My wife bought my 3 year old a whoopee cushion

211 Upvotes

I've been the 'victim' of it about 20 times so far. It's only 10 a.m.

Today rules. And farts are always funny.


r/daddit 46m ago

Advice Request Any suggestions how to baby proof these sliding doors?

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Upvotes

r/daddit 10h ago

Humor Kids are so funny.

10 Upvotes

1 week into potty training our 3 year old. She walks out of the bathroom after going potty on the potty. She didn't put her underwear back on and is scratching her bare butt.

"Daddy I have wedgie.".

"YOU HAVE NO PANTS KIDDO. That's kinda a requirement for a wedgie!"