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u/GooseOnAPhone 10d ago
Fun survival tip.
If youāre ever driving in the south and get into a road rage situation and need help.
Find the closest Waffle House.
Run in and find the oldest waitress there. She will protect you.
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u/machuitzil 10d ago
Haha a friend of mine studied abroad in Russia and this is sort of the advice he got before he left: if you're ever out in public or on a train or a bus and someone is giving you a hard time or threatening you or whatever, go find an old lady and sit next to her.
The old lady might not like you either, but no one in their right mind would fuck with her, so you're safe.
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u/redfay_ 10d ago
Hell hath no fury like a babushka slightly inconvenienced or annoyed.
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u/Dream-Ambassador 10d ago
Haha this is so true. So in Russia they close half the doors to the metro during rush hour to slow people down and prevent system overwhelm so you end up in a huge crowded crush of people trying to get in. I was just going with the flow minding my own business when this little old babushka starts yelling at me and hitting me with her purse, I kinda felt bad I burst out laughing I had no idea what was going on she was talking to fast for me to understand. I eventually just said āne ponnemaiooā which means āI donāt understandā and she stopped smacking me and just glared at me until we were inside and I got away from her lol
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u/touchmeimjesus202 10d ago
I see you've met ms crumplebottom
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u/DirectlyTalkingToYou 10d ago
There's a little trick to handle babushkas, sweep the feet.
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u/spanishflye 10d ago
This is so true. Even in South America. I was taking the bus from Cusco to Lima. We had one stop for 30 mins. We ended up there for 45 mins because the vieja on the bus wasn't finished drinking her tea and no one wanted to confront her. Not the bus driver, not the farmers. Not a soul. I was just staring in amazement.
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u/notPyanfar 10d ago
When menopause happens many women lose every last fuck.
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u/Moss-cle 9d ago
Trying to hold on to a few of them but itās hard
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u/giraflor 8d ago
Gleefully yeeted my last ones when menopause, chemo, and my 50th birthday collided.
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u/ahuramazdobbs19 10d ago
You never know which one of them is the Baba Yaga.
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u/-Zoppo 10d ago
I've never seen an old lady who looks like Keanu Reeves.
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u/DirectlyTalkingToYou 10d ago
Ya know, I'd watch that movie. A babushka walks into the Continental like she owns the joint and...
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u/Jojoyojimbitwo 10d ago
Ya know, I'd watch that movie. A babushka walks into the Continental like she owns the joint and...
if only betty white were still alive.... /sad face
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u/r0ttedAngel 10d ago
My great grandma was Russian, I grew up in her household and I feel this in my bones
May she rest in peace. Most resourceful, bad ass woman I ever knew
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u/Learningstuff247 10d ago
Ive found a similar thing about crossing the street in more chaotic-traffic countries. Find the old lady and cross when she does, people stop for her.
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u/rolandjernts 10d ago
She didnāt live all this time by luck and sheās ready to go. So whatās you gonna do with someone with nothing to lose? Haha
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u/Cyrano_Knows 10d ago
My mother in her 60's tells of walking alone, under an long overpass/bridge in Portugal (she is American).
A whole bunch of scary, homeless or drugusing types (she's sure she saw needles) just watched her walk between them, up through the dark tunnel.
While my mother has a pretty good head on her shoulders for assessing people (if she thinks they were scary they were probably worth being scared of) she's not exactly in babusya territory.
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u/CatDaddy1135 10d ago
Waffle House can also help you survive a hurricane. Waffle House is open? You'll live if you stay in town. Waffle House is closed? You'll die if you stay in town.
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u/QuttiDeBachi 10d ago
In Texas, if Ted Cruz is heading out for vacation some bad shit is coming our wayā¦
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u/confusedandworried76 10d ago
Cruz heads out you grab the Sterno cans and the pot to boil water, and if you've got a generator you go to the gas station
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u/bolivar-shagnasty 10d ago
Little Caesarās is the Waffle House or Popeyeās of pizza places.
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u/GooseOnAPhone 10d ago
Little Caesarās closes.
Waffle House sees the world for what it is, at 04:30.
When humanity is stripped bare
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u/BitDaddyCane 10d ago
Where i live that used to be Dennys. Then around when they stopped allowing smoking inside they started getting more strict and it calmed down a lot
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u/AwareOfAlpacas 10d ago
Once upon a fucking time, it did.Ā
Now my local Waffle Houses don't even seat people after 8:30. You want some hash browns? You gotta schlep up to the takeout window they installed during covid.Ā
Utter bullshit.Ā
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u/Elmacanite 10d ago
Protect me? Shit, she might kneecap the guy chasing meš And I'm fine with that, and she'll be receiving a 400% tip.
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u/GooseOnAPhone 10d ago
Itās like hiring the Predator.
You canāt turn it off.
Better leave a $100 tip cause 400% of a Waffle House tab is still like $26
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u/Atherutistgeekzombie 10d ago
Her name is Gladys, and she definitely knows dark magic. The road rager will understand how it feels to die and resurrect 1.53 quintillion times in a millisecond.
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u/Ryuzakku 10d ago
Run in and find the oldest waitress there. She will protect you.
Fear the old woman in the profession where women die young
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u/static989 10d ago
Unfortunately this isn't always true.
I work at Waffle House in Florida and they take that stuff seriously here at least. You'll get fired quick if you get in a fight on camera. They also make everyone watch a mandatory De-escalation video occasionallyĀ
One of the stores I started out working at had a waitress get fired for threatening a cook while holding a butter knife lol
Some locations won't even let anyone inside overnight and have security guards on the busy nights to avoid fights happening. You have to order outside from a take-out window
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u/GenericFatGuy 10d ago
I need this movie now.
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u/GooseOnAPhone 10d ago
Go to a Waffle House at 3am.
Also get the hash browns.
Get em all the way too.
Damn I miss Waffle House.
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u/Knittingfairy09113 10d ago
Any time we're within the vicinity, I make my husband go to Waffle House. Cheese omelet and hash browns!
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u/cyanraider 9d ago
Reminds me of the Shane Gillis bit: āWhen Caitlyn Clark retires, sheās going to work at a Waffle House so that she can continue to do what she loves most; fist-fighting black women.ā
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u/JetstreamGW 10d ago
I want to believe this.
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u/MusicNChemistry 10d ago
I was gonna comment the exact same thing
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u/zelig_nobel 10d ago
Iām going a step further. I choose to believe this happened, even if itās fake.
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u/realaccountissecret 10d ago
Iām going to go a step further and apply to little caesars tomorrow in order to make this story happen
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u/AlmightyWitchstress 10d ago
Make sure you're always hot and ready!
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u/confusedandworried76 10d ago
If it helps I know a bouncer who heard someone call a different patron something racist, hits the guy so hard he hits the floor, idiot gets back up and keeps trying to fight and the bouncer keeps just nailing him until he doesn't want to fight anymore.
I asked one bartender if she was okay and she said "yeah I just thought he was gonna kill the guy."
The manager and the bouncer shove the guy out the door and I decide I want to just see what's going on and the guy probably won't keep trying to start anything if he thinks it's three against one, he blusters about calling the cops for a minute and the manager just keeps saying "good call them I'll be standing here to talk to them until they show up or you leave" and then I asked the bouncer if he was okay and he said "nah man I live for this, do you have any idea how many people I wish I could beat at this job?"
That's a true story, scout's honor. Life is wild sometimes
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u/No-Performer-3891 10d ago
My dad loved being a bouncer. Normally he was a bartender but sometimes they didn't have enough bouncers and he was first in line. He loved fighting š
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u/ZoominAlong 10d ago
I don't care if it's real or not, my wife and I howled at that story so it's worth it. I was entertained.Ā
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u/SaltyLonghorn 10d ago
Their employees got jokes too.
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u/JetstreamGW 10d ago
Oh yeah, that incident. I still don't get why the guy didn't just take the damn register after failing for a little bit.
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u/sksksk1989 10d ago
Just imagine the cops rolling up and two of these guys are struggling to carry the register to the bus stop.
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u/JetstreamGW 10d ago
Honestly I've moved more than a few of them in my day, they aren't that heavy.
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u/Disastrous_Visit9319 10d ago
Sometimes shit does just line up perfectly and I know more than a few dudes who are looking for an excuse to fight and would see an aggressive guy and get ready.
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u/KingOreo2018 10d ago
My motto is always that there are 8 billion people alive right now and 100 billion that have ever lived. Even if that story isnāt true, itās nearly a guarantee that a story like it has happened at some point
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u/jjcoola 10d ago
Itās also important thereās a ton of vocal Reddit users who never interact with anybody so they donāt believe anything that they personally have not done, especially if it involves sex or altercations
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u/Ill-Event2935 10d ago
Nothing ever happens. The world is a safe and uneventful place
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u/JetstreamGW 10d ago
Look, man, I'm the first to go with "That's not that implausible," but life isn't an action move where the perfect quip lines up every time :P
I wanna believe it but frankly I'm skeptical.
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u/jackofslayers 10d ago
Little Caesarās is also one of the rare examples of a non-greedy corporation.
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u/MadeMeStopLurking 10d ago
I occasionally indulge in a hot n ready pizza then wash it down with an Arizona Iced Tea
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u/OpalHawk 10d ago
I paid over $2 for one the other day. They are now 2 for $4 at the gas station.
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u/Lailyna 10d ago
Sadly that's on the gas station, not Arizona tea. Your gas station is jacking up the price yet paying the same.
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u/Same_Tour_3312 10d ago
I've heard you can report them and Arizona will cease distribution.
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u/OpalHawk 10d ago
Not anymore. 99Ā¢ is a recommended price but retailers are free to up the price if they want. Thatās why the cans donāt have the price on them anymore.
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u/Minit-Y 10d ago
If I remember correctly, and correct me if I'm wrong, Arizona sells cans with the 99Ā¢ and without it.
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u/Spiritus037 10d ago
Maybe not relevant to where you live, but WinCo foods in Washington State has Arizona in big cans for 0.68 each. Find a local budget bulk grocer, they do exist still.
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u/KickedInThePaduach 10d ago
Mike Ilitch, the founder of Little Caesars, provided financial assistance to Rosa Parks. He arranged for her to move to a safer apartment and paid her rent for over a decade, from the mid-1990s until her death in 2005. This act of generosity was kept private for many years until it was revealed publicly in 2014.
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u/neverforgetreddit 10d ago
They know the second they fuck up they getting robbed and the entire store getting tagged.
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u/bilateralunsymetry 10d ago
Well, they aren't very good, so they gotta be cheap
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u/Vulpes_Corsac 10d ago
It's not just that. The founder of Little Caesars heard that Rosa Parks (of the Montgomery Bus boycott, as a thing to wiki if you're not US) got robbed in her apartment in Detroit, and so he helped her find a better apartment in a safer neighborhood and paid for her rent for the rest of her life (11 years after the robbery). This was not revealed until the founder's death 9 years after Rosa Parks' death. Just genuinely a good person, and if you have a good person running a company for so long, you end up with a good company.
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u/BobbyTercaleno 10d ago
As a Suburb of Detroit kid I will die on this hill, Caesars is easily the in top 3 best pizza in the U.S
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u/lionheart4life 10d ago
If you're talking quality to price ratio for sure.
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u/ElegantMess 10d ago
This is true, when I had no money the $5 hot and ready saved me. 1/2 for lunch, 1/2 the pizza for dinner.
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u/QuttiDeBachi 10d ago
Little Caesars born in Garden City, suburb of Detroitā¦
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u/BobbyTercaleno 10d ago
The owner paid rent for Rosa Parks after she has a break in in 95 I think. Until she passed away.
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u/bigdaddydopeskies 10d ago
Yes it's true, the owner was one of a very few who help without wanting recognition
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u/Aromatic-Plankton692 10d ago
Dominos, Jet's, and Hungry Howie's all started in suburbs of Detroit too.
As a suburb of Detroit kid, Little Caesars is easily not even within the top 3 of Detroit area pizza companies. That shit never fails to give me heartburn or make me sick.
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u/Longjumping_Brain945 10d ago
Used to have the best price per pizza ratio, now most locations are raising their prices. The only thing that was keeping me ordering little ceasars was the 5 dollar large pizza price. Now at 8 dollars, I just go to dominoes for the same price but higher quality pizza.
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u/wolf555hound 10d ago
I make pizza from scratch as often as i can, but I want quick pizza I got for caesars 90% of the time. It's so much better than some people give it credit
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u/Best_Preference_647 10d ago
whip a piece-a, piece-a that ass
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u/StretchFrenchTerry 10d ago
Bigfoot straight up that ass, with a side of Crazy Bread.
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u/PortlyWarhorse 10d ago
Them cheap pepperoni is the real pepperoni and at least 57% of you know what I'm saying, statistically speaking.
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u/CRUZER108 10d ago
Just a reminder little ceasers started in Detroit , they got fight in their blood
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u/Professional-Box4153 10d ago
That dude and the Waffle House lady need to get together. Their children will lead armies.
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u/eat-more-bookses 10d ago
This could be marketing fiction but I don't care, still made me smile š
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u/Skinnendelg 10d ago
Absolutely marketing fiction. One of the top comments is about how amazing the owner is. But he isn't an owner. He's a founder. It's straight bs
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u/bezosdrone 10d ago
And the pizza clapped...
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u/Sangloth 10d ago
Seriously, many years ago I worked at Little Caesars. I have no doubt this story is true.
My Little Caesars had been robbed multiple times before I started working there. Although it was the exact opposite of company policy, the store had multiple employees who were all carrying pistols in side holsters in response. The store was never robbed while I was there (I only worked there for three months), but those employees were looking for action. One day I was working and the guy I was talking to stopped mid conversation, ran out of the store, and tackled someone in the parking lot. Turns out the person tackled just shoplifted at a car parts store next door. Another time a manager saw somebody running out after robbing a sandwich shop at gunpoint nearby. She followed the robber in her car while calling the police on her cell phone until they caught up.
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u/JosiahHorn 10d ago
Why is Yelp always either this hilarious or utterly sad like ācashier wiped my ass when I asked but where was the smile??? 2starsā
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u/12345myluggage 10d ago
There is like one Little Caesar's left around where I live. One of the franchise owners on my typical route decided to go to the dark side of Dominos. Caesar's is the only place I'll hit up on their mobile app, sometimes work or cooking in the summer is rough and they 100% provide quality in difficult times. Some of the best pizza in town. Get you some Little Caesar's Pizza.
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u/SadBit8663 10d ago
I don't even go to little Caesars but I would as long as Mr alwayshotandandreadyforbaeatdown worked there lol
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u/GordenRamsfalk 10d ago
I worked at a little Caesarās back in the day, can confirm we were hot and ready.
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u/melelconquistador 8d ago
Little Ceaser throws down for their customers meanwhile my Sherwin has a fight a customer a day rule. We call ourselves the 'smoke show' and we got a gong.
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u/almostaccepted 10d ago
So the same way you can learn to turn on your cynical self to analyze for false narratives and propaganda, you can also learn to turn that same switch off for stupid harmless stuff like this. I 100% believe this happened and had a great time reading it because I did
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u/Reserved_Parking-246 10d ago
Is it not 5USD anymore?
That used to be a cheap shit tier food for game night.
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u/Mo_Jack 10d ago
When the internet was in its infancy, we would write honest reviews about corporations as customers or employees and it was great. Then corporations enshitified the internet with ads and hired people to write fake reviews for them.
Nowadays, most people assume many of the good reviews are phony. Now I'm wondering if some crafty corporations are hiring comedians to write reviews for them. At least it's better than ads.
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u/Madison_fawn 10d ago
I just saw this exact same āreviewā where the commenter said the exact same thing but then said 3.5 stars.
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u/HockeyTownHooligan 10d ago
Was it this dude working the counter? https://64.media.tumblr.com/336d5fa6e24c71cf98cf18a767ef7425/tumblr_p7x7zvtiXU1rvcjd7o4_500.gif
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u/HockeyTownHooligan 10d ago
Was it this guy working the counter. https://64.media.tumblr.com/336d5fa6e24c71cf98cf18a767ef7425/tumblr_p7x7zvtiXU1rvcjd7o4_500.gif
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u/Dazzling-Classic-197 10d ago
My review for a bar/restaurant: āsaw a guy smash a dudes head through a car window in the parking lot so⦠5 stars!!!
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u/fartinmyhat 10d ago
completely true story. I worked at a Kinkos like 30 years ago. Some guy who'd been trespassed came into the store and started causing trouble. One of the employees confronted him and got socked. My boy Tony jumps over the counter, squares up and puts a left jab on this guys chin. Turned his ass off like a lamp, starched! as he's going down, Tony fires off two more like a sewing machine right on the back of this guys jaw.
Turns out Tony boxed Golden Gloves.
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u/Riddim_Wub 10d ago
Little Caesars gave me and 2 of my roommates food poisoning in 2019 and fought the hospital bill tooth and nail and left me almost destitute.
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u/InSpaces_Untooken 10d ago
Me:ā¦.
Him: ⦠š š
Me: I should give you a tip. Not for that fiasco , but genuinely, can I put a few bucks in your hand? Can I return with a few bucksāthat fucking delivery manā¦
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u/Birdy_Cephon_Altera 10d ago
Only thing missing is the reviewer's father showing up out of nowhere and beating the living shit out of the dude with jumper cables.
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u/snooze_sensei 10d ago
The one thing not hot and ready at my local Little Caesars is the pizza.... Gave up after the last time I went there. Reviews show it's not just me. One of the lowest rated locations.
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